I am not singling anyone out, nope. It’s a tone thing across several posters that I find amusing this cold morning, me and my cruel, cruel black heart 
Also, I have to tell you I do not know any of the people involved. Not sure how to step back from a situation I’m literally not a player in.
And yet, these things happen to people and not all people those things happen to are inherently evil.
Needing to meet responsibilities doesn’t always mean a person CAN meet responsibilities and that doesn’t always mean that person is a horrible person.
Again, this is not presenting any defence for the HO in question in this thread because we don’t have the kind of information that would help us make any sort of judgment call at all.
Not paying (for months) and being unreachable to the people trying to get in contact with you (for months) is inexcusable. Anything the HO gets now, she has coming. We all have to buck up and adult when we don’t want to. Period.
Hard to guess this, the OP says this woman has only owned the horse for a year.
I know some horses get that bad quickly, but the OP seems to think it is a problem that was there before this owner and though it sucks, lots of people do not realize horses require dental work.
She’s paying board and paying the farrier. @endlessclimb it doesn’t sound like there’s a piano involved, does it?
Nor the 
.
May you never gain the knowledge to understand this type of situation on a personal level.
Stamping your little diva foot and saying “We must! Period!” isn’t going to do anything at all with the sort of hypothetical situation some of us are describing. I am actually quite glad for you that you are utterly unable to empathize with someone who (hypothetically) finds themself at the bottom of the barrel and unable to cope with simple tasks on your “We must! Period!” list.
All she has to do is call back and at least attempt to make it right. That’s it. It has nothing to do with her cash flow. It has nothing to do with her life’s problems.
Ghosting a service provider because of [insert reason here] is unacceptable in my world, and frankly I’m glad that my world has standards for the people that I keep in it. Sounds like it’s unacceptable to a lot of people - not just me.
Agreed, communication communication communication.
When I had boarders, I always stressed that I am happy to work with you if you’re having a bad month or something and need to pay late. But you have.to.talk.to.me. Can’t pay until the 15th? That’s fine, as long as we talk about it and have a plan. Want to split your board payment up to twice a month, instead of all at once? No problem, as long as we talk about it.
Don’t respond to my reminders and pay board on the 12th with no communication? You signed a contract that says it’s due by the 5th or late fees apply. I’m charging you the late fees, or asking you to leave. Period.
I understand people get embarrassed by money issues, but I’ll never fail to understand why they think it’s better to leave their service provider hanging, than to just have the slightly uncomfortable conversation.
*applies to small-business service providers only. good luck trying to get compassion from the electric company or your mortgage company
It’s possible to understand what is causing someone’s behavior, have empathy for them, and still recognize that their behavior is still unacceptable.
Absolutely, I wasn’t saying otherwise.
About 40 years ago the business hubba was working for, while going to school to finish his BA, was sold. The new owners did not need him so he was given 2 weeks severance pay. We had an infant and I worked full time but our income had been cut by 50% with no idea of when we could replicate the previous income. I owned a horse. I sold her within 2 weeks to stop the cash suck of boarding, etc. It was the adult thing to do.
Yes it was the money wise thing to do, so glad you had your husband.
Geez who said anybody was evil?
— No one said she was inherently evil.
— No one said she is a horrible person.
If I’m wrong, I look forward to being corrected.
Most people responded to this thread as asked - how to handle the business relationship and business transaction. Keeping our answers focused on the actual question asked doesn’t mean we have zero empathy for the horse owner in question.
The OP didn’t post asking “My boarder seems to be having some struggles in life right now, how can I better support her?” If they had, likely those responses would have been focused on empathy and understanding instead of problem-solving.
But, the T-Rex does need dental care or not, or the vet will or won’t provide dental care to the T-Rex? I find that this is the most salient question for me.
(For the OP, I would pay the dentist to keep the dentist happy and then tell the boarder that as another human being, you are absolutely on her side through difficult times, but she needs to pay you back/give a payment plan that pays you back within x months, in addition to staying up to date on board. And depending on her response, I would compassionately offer that perhaps it is time to sadly reconsider her ability to manage a horse at this time in her life. And depending on her response to that, perhaps give her notice to move. It is possible to be compassionate, transparent, and understanding with her about this, while still being firm).
Personally, I would be extremely hesitant to try that approach.
It seems to be very likely that the boarder would just view it as somebody else has assumed the debt that she herself does not think she owes, for whatever reason.
As of now, the boarder owes the dentist, and I would not want to step in the middle of that very clear business transaction to muddy the waters.
It also provides the boarder with an opportunity to drag things out on the detour south.
After many, many, many years around horses, I do not recall off the top of my head a single time that I can remember a barn owner or trainer or service provider saying, “You know, in hindsight, I wish I had let things go on longer with that unsatisfactory client.”
Quite the opposite.
My experience has been the same, never had a BO or BM say anything other then they let it go on too long.
Now perhaps there were times when there were issues with payment but they must have been mutually resolved fairly quickly with no ghosting or dodging attempts to contact. I know when I had a sudden financial disaster, i was in contact with the BO and present at the barn…and I, too, sold the nice horse I liked ASAP.
Possibly there will be an opportunity to chat with this boarder when the board comes due in a week or so and this can be worked out, she can probably work it out with the dentist but she needs to communicate with them. The vanishing act is a bad sign.
Like others have said, it’s not your job OP to be the intermediary between boarder and dentist. Have the dentist send her to collections. This way you are protected and it’s her credit that takes the beating. I don’t have any patience for this B.S. anymore.
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