Boarding Woes/VENT

[mvp]

@SpicyPRE

You have made quite a number of assumptions about me. While I no longer compete, in the not so far past I could turn in a respectable performance at an FEI level on my imported GOV gelding. So before you go assuming I am a quivering hand wringer you are wrong. I am however tired of BS at barns by some who have zero awareness, nor concern, of how their actions impact others. That is going to be the end of mid-level barns. Oh yeah, I also want to pee where I can flush and wash my hands.

Lack of consideration by BOs is not what is ending mid-level boarding barns. It’s the tiny profit margin in a customer-service business run by people who have enough wealth to be able to do something different when the thrill wears off.

I understand why boarders (myself included) really want these folks to run their barns like businesses where contracts mean something and discussed expectations are met, But lots of these aren’t legit businesses. And/or it’s that the BO doesn’t need the money badly enough (or there’s not enough to be made) in order to compel them to be so careful with their paying customers.

Most barns offer the standard of care that they find acceptable for their own horses. If you are a poor carpet-bagger like me (that is to say, I have seen better than I can afford), we are going to have a hard time. I don’t see that changing. But honest-to-God: we boarders still have to keep our heads down and be nice to BOs making very little money if we want this segment of the industry to last.

[endlessclimb]

Wherever did it say willingly? It was implied that the person dropped a bag (intentional or not) and then was laughing as it was blowing towards the horse.

Think about the situation - if you’ve got a horse that’s acting lit about a bag on the ground, are you going to go running for the bag to snatch it? NO. Because that would make the situation exponentially worse. Yet OP tried to attribute that to a malicious act on the boarders part.

This whole thing is very simple - if you don’t like where you are, MOVE. If there’s no where around you that meets your standards there are two options - you either live in an area that doesn’t support “your type” of horse care and need to compromise without kvetching, or you have unreasonable expectations.

[endlessclimb]

@BigMama1

If OP’s barn has a rule about loose dogs, it’s reasonable she expects them to enforce it.

Well, that depends whose dog it is, right? Because lots and lots of barns have “no dogs” that doesn’t extend to the BO’s dogs - and that is perfectly fine because it’s THEIR PLACE. Yes, you may be paying, but you are still a guest on their property and only one person’s “say” matters - hint, it’s not the boarders.

If you don’t like where you board, MOVE.

@BigMama1

Routine maintenance / work such as ring dragging, grass cutting, minor repairs, haying, etc. doesn’t require notice.

And I bet OP (or people in the same category) expect mowing/weed whipping to stop if they’re trying to ride. Or they shuffle around muttering under their breath at the loud chugging as they’re baling hay. I know these people, I’ve met them, I’ve dealt with them. Yes, even the “my horse doesn’t like the tractor because it’s green” is a TRUE story - I heard it straight out of the woman’s mouth. I tire of dealing with people like this, because if it’s not [this], it will be [that]. They have champagne taste on a beer budget.

[trubandloki]

Nothing wrong with venting on here. If I remember correctly you @endlessclimb had a very long thread where you vented about your boarding barn and the people there. Sure you did eventually leave, but you vented here and stayed for some time.

It is OK for others to vent too.

[endlessclimb]

True, but never did I kvetch that the people should stop doing what they were doing. It was a humor thread about the crazy stuff that happens at the farm.

I stated in that thread multiple times - well, at least my horse is getting super broke!

Edit: Also, “some time” was 20 years. I drug the arenas and did endless labor for the BO to try and keep the place nice and affordable. I left ONLY because he is actively marketing the place and due to the shortage of decent barns in the area I wanted a head start so I didn’t get stuck at a barn I didn’t like. If it wasn’t for him selling, I would still be there. I was just there yesterday dropping off cat food.

[S1969]

@mvp

OMG, but IME rubber-bendy rules seem to be endemic to boarding. As is ‘different prices for different people’. Horse boarding does not seem to be a place that one goes looking for justice or consistency. IME, it has not ended well when I asked why so-n-so got X and I got Y.

That’s everywhere.

It’s unreasonable to expect the barn owner/manager to be a 24/7 nazi policing every boarder to see what rules they are breaking and giving them an ultimatum. They have other work to do, and are likely to tolerate rule bending to a certain degree, just like all other managers. I don’t fire my employees when they come in late. I come in late sometimes, too.

And, it’s also totally acceptable for BO/BMs and managers in all fields to allow for some rule bending when it suits them. So, no dogs except the ones that live there. Oh, and maybe also except for someone else who has good dogs and for whatever reason, the BO allows it. (Maybe one of their employees, someone who has boarded a long time, or someone that needs a favor.)

If the dogs in question are a problem, then someone needs to make a complaint and ask the BM to remedy the situation because there is a reason to do so. If they are just annoyed because the rules are being broken, that’s different. And really, none of their business - unless it is causing a problem. The problem can’t be - “yeah, but the rules say…” that’s just being a whiner.

I don’t like loose dogs in a barn setting, but generally speaking, most horses are not really bothered by them unless they are chasing. I took lessons at a barn where the owners huge, hairy dogs would get in the water troughs, roll in the arena and then rub mud on people. I just found it annoying. I don’t think a complaint would have been warranted though. Other than my dirty clothes, there really wasn’t a problem.

[SadieRidingHorses]

@mvp

But! I get my horses very broke. I buy horses I can ride and manage. I understand that this is a risky sport and I mitigate risk by trying to be as smart a horsewoman as I can. FWIW, I’d ask the skate-boarding kid in the aisle to take some time to show my horse how to cope with that. Why not? That’s just another training opportunity that I couldn’t get otherwise.

Thank you for expressing what I have been thinking about this thread in a very articulate way!

[BigMama1]

@endlessclimb

And I bet OP (or people in the same category) expect mowing/weed whipping to stop if they’re trying to ride.

Why do you make such assumptions, and why do you care? Lord knows you’ve done your share of complaining in this forum; is nobody else allowed to vent?

[endlessclimb]

Venting is one thing. Admitting you’re a difficult boarder (ie, you openly complain to the BO or anyone else with ears) is another.

[trubandloki]

I would rather deal with a difficult boarder who is up front about their difficult-ness than deal with someone who pretends to be easy going and then pounces about every little thing that happens.

[endlessclimb]

Both sound like a “you have 30 days to pack up” to me.

[BigMama1]

Again, I don’t see anything that indicates she’s a “difficult” boarder. Expecting kids not to skateboard in the barn aisles isn’t unreasonable. Expecting a barn to enforce its own rules about loose dogs isn’t unreasonable.

The point is OP thought she found a barn that fit her needs / wants, based on what the barn’s rules are. I totally get how frustrating it is to find out those rules mean nothing and aren’t enforced. Had she known that, she likely would have chosen a different barn.

[fordtraktor]

I have to laugh about the “loose dogs.” I run a boarding barn (a very high-end one) and have a no outside dogs rule…the only dogs permitted are my personal dog and my trainer’s dog, both well-behaved, quiet barn dogs.

I had someone come to the farm who toured, had this explained to her, signed the rules, etc. who then complained about the dogs being at the barn. ???

My other pet peeve is people who don’t want their horses turned out. I am very clear: DON’T COME HERE if you can’t commit to having your horse turned out at least 12 hours a day, every day, rain or shine. I believe in turnout and turnout in everything except ice. I always talk about my philosophy extensively. Same person was totally on board until it sprinkled a little in summer and I would get texts and calls to bring Pookie in in the middle of the afternoon so he didn’t get wet. ???

For the record, we are very careful not to mow/weed whack the area right around the indoor when people are riding or even in crossties. It’s a very scary noise that comes from nowhere and is very loud when the little bits of grass hit the metal. Mowing the pastures? No problem, but just outside the barn/indoor is a legit concern. I try to do that when everyone is turned out.

[McGurk]

@Manni01,

Did you sell your place? I remember seeing photos of it, it was lovely. I am surprised to hear you’re boarding.

[endlessclimb]

This is what I’m imagining when someone is complaining about the dogs. Yes, there’s a “no dogs” rule, which (obviously) does not apply to the owner of the property. I would hope that would be obvious?

The weedwhipping along building structures, yes. But I’ve witnessed someone tell the BO not to be mowing the front lawn while she’s trying to ride. Lady, you’re here at all hours of the day. When do you expect this to get done? It’s the same type of people who act like the barn staff is in their way when stalls are getting picked. Uh, no. Rather the opposite…

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Like, all of this sounds very reasonable to me! Surely, there must be some middle ground of normal, like “call door when entering the indoor,” and “don’t have your kids feed treats to strange horses and run screaming or hiding in the stalls” and “be sensitive sharing an arena when someone else is riding a green or young horse and having issues.” A middle-ground between “everything goes, because you have to desensitize/ride through everything” and “barn church silence.”

But I realize that is usually too optimistic!

[beowulf]

You know, when there are back-and-forths on this forum I usually find myself seeing both sides and sitting somewhere in the middle. That being said, I do not want loose dogs, loose children, or skateboards running down the aisle in a boarding barn setting either.

I can’t tell you how many domino-effect, secondary catastrophes I’ve seen from one little thing going wrong with horses that involved dogs or children. I think all of us have seen this phenomenon at work at some point. I have many stories about loose dogs causing good horses/ riders to get seriously hurt. A few years ago I witnessed a dog-safe horse get tangled up in a horse-safe dog’s lead line, accidentally step on the dog, the dog bit the horse, the horse panicked, popped the cross ties and got smacked in the face by the metal bit (requiring stitches), panicked again and fell on the concrete aisle way and got seriously hurt. It set off a domino effect with nearby tacked up horses too.

With horses, you can’t say anything with certainty except at the end of the day they are prey animals and will likely act that way, no matter their training. I spend too much money on my horses to let someone else’s idiocy get them hurt.

[Obsidian_Fire]

@FjordBCRF

where is the line to just take it or leave it?

I think this needs to be repeated. Over and over.

Boarding is an exercise in compromise. I have boarded in my same general (rural) area for over 30 years. I’ve lost count of how many barns have closed, sold, etc., etc. To the point that there is very little choice anymore. Around here it’s ‘you get what you get and you don’t complain’. Or you don’t own a horse. Those are your options.

[Casey09]

I boarded at a barn that reminded me of a dog park for years. At first I thought it was cute. At first.
I didn’t have that many instances of the dogs spooking my horse (there was one notable one involving a dog being shocked with a shock collar and making a shrieking sound, and another one in which a pack of dogs tried to kill a barn cat).
There were several dog fights I was afraid of being caught up in, constant yelling at the dogs, a dog tripping my mother when she visited by running through the aisle behind her at top speed, people frantically searching for their dogs and enlisting help, people complaining constantly about other people’s dogs but never their own, and the list goes on.
There are no dogs where I board now, and it’s glorious. I’m a life long dog lover, I have dogs, I go to a lot of dog training and shows, I know all of the names of the neighbor dogs …. and I hate dealing with dogs at the horse barn.
If other things were perfect I’d do the dog thing again, but I must say it’s easier without it.
With most de-sensitizing things, I think there’s a huge difference between seeing that there are kids on skateboards and intentionally desensitizing my horse, perhaps on a lunge line at first, and a kid suddenly flying by the door on a skateboard when I’m already in the horse. Similarly, if someone decides to use a chainsaw to cut limbs while I’m riding, I’d appreciate the opportunity to consider dismounting and putting my horse on a lunge to desensitize to that activity rather than firing up the chainsaw when I’m still mounted. I’d never ask the barn to not do those tasks, but I think it’s probably appropriate to give people the choice to desensitize while mounted or not mounted, or to say, “You know, I’m going to put my horse away and have my trainer help me get my horse used to the new hovercraft.”

[SpicyPRE]

As the OP, I want to add more about the skateboarding incident. After my horse panicked and crushed me, once released from the hospital, I didn’t work for 6 months as I had to relearn how to walk again and had to navigate damage to my bladder. Was this a 1 off freak situation - probably. However, it has unfortunately stuck with me probably due the residual damage on the left side of my body. My life changed in that moment and I have earned the right to be concerned about the environment where I ride my horse so that I can relax and enjoy my ride and not be a burden to my horse.

When looking for a new barn, I dont share my background, however I do want to have an honest, direct conversation with the BO about their facility. Its not good for me or my horse to be in a facility that doesnt work for either of us.