Boarding Woes/VENT

[atlatl]

Like most situations in life, it takes a village.

I’m fortunate to be at a private facility where I don’t have to be in the training program and the care is good enough. Not as wonderful as if I were doing it all myself, but I’m confident the horses aren’t going to die the 2 days/week I’m not there.

Just this morning, the resident trainer came in the arena with a newly arrived 3 year old and got on him for the first time (first time she was on him, he’s had rides before). The other 3 of us just stopped working and walked while she got on and he walked around. Once he was settled, the rest of us went back to work at the other end of the arena and gave them lots of room. At the end of the ride, the trainer thanked us all for the consideration. It’s great being with like minded adults!

It helps that it’s a smallish place with most of the horses belonging to the owner.

The previous place I was at had too many unsupervised kids on unsafe (IMO) ponies for my tastes. The week I left, 3 kids came off in a group lesson within 10 minutes.

[BigMama1]

@SpicyPRE

YES!!! Thanks @BigMama1 you get it!

You made it perfectly clear right from the get go. [edit]

[McGurk]

@SpicyPRE,

I agree with @BigMama1, your needs are perfectly reasonable and pretty well articulated.

I think the disconnect is the likelihood of you finding a facility that meets your needs that does not have an in house trainer and lesson contract attached.

It’s been tapped on in this thread, but deserves another hit - professionally run barns, with high care standards and well maintained facilities, tend to have a professional attached to them. That professional is not willing to give up a stall, let alone underwrite a horse’s care, to someone who isn’t in a program with them. And by “in a program”, I mean billing the stuff that actually has a profit margin.

So for a boarder like you, who expressly doesn’t want to enroll in a lesson/training contract, that means you’re looking at backyard/hobbyist type barns. With an indoor. At least in my part of the world, the two circles on that Venn diagram barely touch, let alone overlap.

And if they do, they’re at the owner’s residence, and you can pretty much count on loose dogs/kids on skateboards/random chainsaws or other crap you won’t find in a professionally run barn.

So I think your unusual situation requires some analysis: keep searching for the unicorn - the small, privately owned and run barn WITH AN INDOOR, with a decent standard of care and a lack of small children, loose dogs and skateboards OR find a professional’s barn, where you’re in agreement about the training philosophy, and can stand taking a few lessons and pay the training/lesson upcharge.

I don’t see there being a happy resolution outside of those two options. Sorry, I think that’s the situation you’re in. It has nothing to do with you being unreasonable or a less than competent rider.

[SpicyPRE]

Well said. And exactly what I am finding. And my recent experience with the less structured and lower end, doesn’t work for me. Thanks for the summary to help me see this.

[sascha]

So how does everyone who gets bent out of shape about a kid on a skateboard feel about wheelchairs in barn aisles? What about walkers? Knee scooters?

[trubandloki]

@sascha

So how does everyone who gets bent out of shape about a kid on a skateboard feel about wheelchairs in barn aisles? What about walkers? Knee scooters?

I do not see how any of those things are comparable to a skateboarding kid.

And the bottom line is, anyone in a barn aisle with a unique item (skateboard, scooter, wheel chair, a new wheelbarrow, etc.) needs to pay attention to what is going on around them.

No, I am not saying the barn aisle needs to be a sterile place where nothing ever makes a horse snort. But, if you (general) come wheeling into the barn with your new knee scooter it only makes sense for your safety and the safety of others to look around and see how the horses are reacting to it.
If you board at a facility that caters to people with disabilities then your new to you knee scooter will likely be no big deal.

Stupid example - I own one horse who could care less about anything. My other horse, no matter how hard I try, finds the simplest things scary. Which is weird because she was backed by someone who does Clinton Anderson stuff and she allowed the bull whip to be cracked while the trainer stood on her back, she allowed him to carry an operating leaf blower while he rode her around the ring. But darn, the horse vacuum causes her to freak out and smash into walls. Everyone knows this about her. So, if you (general) plan to vacuum they do it in the cross ties not near her or do it when she is outside.

Being polite and respectful is not that hard.

[Maythehorsebewithme]

@trubandloki

would rather deal with a difficult boarder who is up front about their difficult-ness than deal with someone who pretends to be easy going and then pounces about every little thing that happens.

Or complains behind the BM’s back. I can’t stand it when other boarders complain to me–I tell them, “I am not in a position to assist you, speak to the BM”. This is important–don’t want them to say I agreed with them and get pulled into barn drama.

[endlessclimb]

@McGurk

the small, privately owned and run barn WITH AN INDOOR

I’m telling you right now though, this particular owner is not going to take kindly to complaining about the going-ons of the farmette.

I really think OP needs her own property.

[endlessclimb]

These people are the worst, and they are prevalent. The barn is what it is, contract or not. Either talk to the BO or find somewhere else. They make everything so uncomfortable for everyone else.

As does the one who is constantly scowling and muttering under their breath about how awful everyone is. Get over it, or get out.

[S1969]

@sascha

So how does everyone who gets bent out of shape about a kid on a skateboard feel about wheelchairs in barn aisles? What about walkers? Knee scooters?

I think most people don’t know what goes on at their boarding barns when they are not there, so they aren’t really the best people to answer about what will (or won’t) bother their horses. Of course people should be cautious around horses in general, but I think we project what we think a lot of the time.

My horses are are home; things that don’t bother them at all include coyotes (howling in packs), deer (in the pasture with them, jumping over fences), sirens/fire whistle, trains/train whistles, loud trucks, small aircraft, fireworks, mowing, weedwacking, moving vehicles including those very fast electric scooters, road construction, bicycles, etc. Whether in the pasture or being ridden - these things are just normal, every day life for my horses. I suspect the train whistle for a horse that has never heard one would be startling, but since my horses have heard it 1000s of times in their lives, it doesn’t even get an ear flick.

If a kid rode a skateboard in the aisle of a barn on a regular basis, my guess is that the horses have long since become accustomed to it and don’t find it particularly stressful or startling. That doesn’t mean it might not startle them sometimes. So, obviously, caution should be exercised, but in general “kid on a skateboard” is not necessarily a spooky thing for horses.

A knee scooter would definitely draw my horses attention far more than a skateboard. One time I put a coat on one of my dogs and my TB mare was mind blown.

[endlessclimb]

I think a lot of what horses fear is actually hander issues.

I can’t count how many horses “don’t tie” per their owners, but since they didn’t say that before I had already done it for the farrier or vet - they absolutely do tie. Or how many times (back when I was doing this for pay) Pookie doesn’t tolerate clippers, and as soon as the owner leaves I show Pookie the clippers with an aura of “you’re fine, you’re fine” and the horse tolerates the clippers no problem. Same with my blower. Same with a rain coat. Same with a flag.

Who is handling the horse is CRITICAL to how they react to things, and how they get treated if there is a startle or spook - does it turn into a freak out on both parties, or does the human get the feet stopped, yawn, and move on.

[BigMama1]

@sascha

So how does everyone who gets bent out of shape about a kid on a skateboard feel about wheelchairs in barn aisles? What about walkers? Knee scooters?

I have yet to see anyone go whizzing down a barn aisle in a wheelchair or on a knee scooter unannounced at the same speed as a kid skateboarding. I have also yet to see any of these devices make the same noise as a skateboard.

I’ve encountered all of the above at barns over various times and have never seen the horses give them more than a side eye and snort, but mostly because the people using the devices aren’t jerks, and they tend to ask if a horse is ok with it before approaching, giving the owner the chance to use it as a training opportunity if the horse seems concerned about it.

Apples and oranges.

[McGurk]

This is partially true.

Yes, a nervous handler makes for a nervous horse. The handler telegraphs their tension to the horse by their shallow breathing, short, jerky movements and maybe even the smell of adrenaline, and the horse responds by being hyper alert and reactive.

But you can’t blame EVERY reactive horse on a nervous or poor handler, you just can’t. When my otherwise lovely, brave, steady trail horse spun right out from under me when a rifle was fired nearby with no warning; he wasn’t reacting to me or my tension (I had no tension because I had no clue), he was reacting to a rifle shot. I would say a significant percentage of horses would react to a kid skateboarding by in the aisle, particularly if they were cross tied.

I have absolutely seen horses freak out about vacuums or clippers when no one is holding them or even near them. You can maybe say it’s a result of their previous bad experiences, but I believe that some horses are simply more reactive than others, even when the handling is high quality and consistent.

Bottom line is all we know about the OP and her horse is the very little bit she’s posted here. You are making a lot of conclusions about them both, based on little to no available evidence.

The OP may be a difficult boarder, OR she may be a reasonable boarder and her current barn may really have a challenging environment. I don’t have enough evidence either way, however, her response to my analysis of her situation lends credence to the idea she’s a reasonable person.

There’s a difficult, unreasonable, reactive poster in this thread, but it ain’t the OP.

[endlessclimb]

This is true, but getting a horse over their fears involves an ice-water handler who can introduce it without feeding into the fear. Some handlers are capable of that. Some would shut the clippers off and say “welp, horsie doesn’t like them, that’s that.”

The rifle fire is totally different.

Fear is integral to prey animal survival. Humans aren’t prey animals, but we’re capable of being smooshed. All the more reason to be a good leader when the big dumb animal gets scared.

[McGurk]

And what does any of this have to do with the OP and her struggle to find a suitable boarding barn? (A topic that is discussed endlessly on this forum by lots of posters?)

Why did this thread become a pissing contest about people’s horsemanship?

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Seriously. Also, even if some/most people and horses can deal with stress and scary stimuli, there’s a big difference between dealing with that 24/7 at the barn versus knowing you can cope. Honestly, the average adult just wants to come to the barn and ride, not engage in “desensitizing” and crazy hijinks every day after work.

[endlessclimb]

Because her requests (+ a bathroom, unrelated) are due to inability to desensitize and lead. Instead, she’d rather imply the BOs are crappy, and the other boarders are crappy.

I mean, the barn I’m at is DEAD quiet, small, privately owned, with an indoor. On paper, minus the bathroom, it’s everything OP is looking for. But! The neighbor on one side is mowing every single blessed minute of every single day (why, I don’t understand, but it’s fine), and the neighbor on the other side has very nice dogs that don’t come on the barn property but run amok on their own, which borders the barn’s. Plus the farming equipment for the corn harvest across the street. Plus haying equipment for the back acreage. Plus cats running and jumping from the heavens. Plus the endless corn leaves, which if someone thinks these things blow like regular leaves they’ve not seen them because they behave WAY more like a bag than a leaf.

So even with her list, you are still going to have to get over a lot of this stuff. You can not completely sterilize an environment. Complaining about it, and not only that but attributing it to negligence, is annoying to me. Figure it out, or leave that barn. Disparaging a BO over how they run their property is not a good look for anyone, especially seeing as how the barns are shutting down left and right.

And with that, I’m done. Complain until you’re blue, and let me know where that gets ya!

[McGurk]

@endlessclimb

Because her requests (+ a bathroom, unrelated) are due to inability to desensitize and lead. Instead, she’d rather imply the BOs are crappy, and the other boarders are crappy.

Conclusion based on facts not in evidence. The OP has said 1.) She was seriously, life changingly injured in an accident caused by a kid on a skate board and

@SpicyPRE

I have strong feelings about not wanting dogs running loose, kids running loose, inconsistent care.

I have strong feelings about those things too. Does that open me up to criticism about my horse handling skills? I’m not getting how wanting a quieter environment with consistent care leads you to believe her horse handling is poor.

I also didn’t see anywhere in the post where she implied her BO was crappy or other BOs were crappy. I also didn’t see anywhere where she was gossiping with other boarders, complaining to the BO or expecting them to change their routine. She came on to this board precisely because she wanted to be anonymous and get unbiased advice.

She has already identified that this barn isn’t a fit for her and is trying to find one that’s a better fit.

A lot of people had good advice and insight about that issue - why it’s hard to find the type of boarding situation she’s looking for, and how to possibly find it.

YOU were the one that concluded, based on half dozen internet posts, that the problem was her horse handling. And proceeded to offer a lot of smug, unasked for advice for a training problem you diagnosed over the internet. Unsolicited advice is ALWAYS implied criticism and almost never helpful, except perhaps to shore up the advice giver’s self esteem.

This topic has been discussed literally dozens of times by posters in similar situations: how to find a professionally run barn without a lesson or training contact.

I believe this is the first time it’s been suggested that the solution is desensitizing your horse.

[endlessclimb]

Last one, I promise. If you go back and read the thread, I’m not the only one (or two, or three) who stated that if all other things are good, sometimes one has to compromise on the kids/dogs. I’m just the one who stated bluntly that you need to be a good leader to get your horse over this stuff, and crippling fear has no place around horses.

The implication about the BOs being negligent was abundantly clear, all the way down an insurance company attempting to sue them for it.

[McGurk]

@endlessclimb

Last one, I promise. If you go back and read the thread, I’m not the only one (or two, or three) who stated that if all other things are good, sometimes one has to compromise on the kids/dogs. I’m just the one who stated bluntly that you need to be a good leader to get your horse over this stuff, and crippling fear has no place around horses.

You’re the only one who offered unsolicited horse training advice in a thread about boarding options.

@endlessclimb

The implication about the BOs being negligent was abundantly clear, all the way down an insurance company attempting to sue them for it.

That was a previous barn, not the one she’s currently in. I didn’t even have to go back and reread the thread, I got that detail the first time.