I have a bonded pair of geldings on my farm, who have lived side by side in stalls and turned out together for 9 years. I have made the difficult decision to euthanize one and am very worried about how my other gelding will respond. He’s 22 and very attached to his bff. He is protective of his bff and more than a little obsessive over him - if a new horse shows up over the fenceline, he gets between them and plays stallion. When his friend went away for training for 6 weeks, we tried to give my old guy a new friend… he beat the crap out of him for 4 weeks before we gave up and pulled the poor horse out. He was literally taking out his emotions of missing his friend on the new kid. I am thinking that we may try to introduce a third horse into his turnout who we would try him with afterwards, just to ease the transition and attempt to build a friendship. I’m hoping some of you have experience helping horses through the process. I know this is morbid and I hope you don’t think I am emotionless about this (I’m certainly not), but would you let him see/sniff the body before we bury him? We have two potential grave spots - one he would be able to see at a distance (500m) from his stall with dutch door to outside. Would a further one away be better? Any thoughts or experiences are welcome. I’m quite worried about how he will handle this being a senior who is already trending towards the stressball, OCD type.
Let him see his deceased friend. I think it makes a huge difference. Sorry 
Be prepared for him to colic. That’s been my experience with my retirees when one dies. It’s awful and not easy but I just keep a watch and vet on speed dial. I’d let him see the body but each horse reacts differently. Good plan to bring in another horse early— try for one who is a bit aloof to make him work at being in charge again. Good luck and good for you for planning ahead.
I agree with the advice to let him see/sniff the body.
I believe that has helped my very attached horse with the loss of her long time companion.
Be prepared for a reaction when showing the body. One horse sniffed a few times and walked away. The other sniffed and tried to bolt.
We had a similar situation. We decided to let the other horse watch the process, so that she did not think her friend just left the property and would fret endlessly. She became very frantic during the process (I thought she was going to go through the fence), so right after we ended up sedating her. The body was left until the next day (because I couldn’t get someone to come immediately) but I think her coming out of sedation and her friend still being there helped her process the situation. It sucks…
It is a difficult time when we loose a horse. I’ve kept them for a long lifetime and it gets more difficult as I get older. You have my best wishes for a good outcome.
Please take this “suggestion” with a dose of practicality. It is an experience that was told to me, not my direct experience. Not everybody goes to great lengths to care for horses and maybe my friend told me a slightly optimistic outcome.
When I read this post the details were surprisingly familiar. I received a call from a friend that had 2 horses, probably for kids that had fledged, and one of the horses died. When the body was being removed (on a trailer) and driven out of the pasture the surviving horse “went crazy”. My friend was concerned that she would injure herself and cause more problems. They took the body back into the pasture and left it and the survivor calmed down. Then they called me for advice as I am an old horse person. I did not offer any advice they thought relevant (Get the survivor a pasture mate, maybe a pony.) While in Church he asked another church-goer for advice just like they had asked me. The lady had very specific advice. “Get a back-hoe. Dig a grave in the pasture. Make sure the survivor sees the body being lowered into the grave. Fill the grave back up.” My friend call me and asked what I thought. It was a fundamentalist Church and I didn’t think it was good advice but I didn’t tell them that because that kind of advice is not usually well received. Since I did not have any good suggestions, I said “Maybe that will work.” They did it and called me back and said that it worked and the survivor was just fine.
I have seen this work. A best friend might stand at the grave for a day or two, but remains calm, if depressed, and then goes back to normal as though nothing happened.
I would consider sedating your gelding when the time comes.
I went through something similar with my ponies. It was not a planned euth but an emergency colic ending in the pony being PTS. The remaining pony became distraught. And as mentioned above, he did colic the next day. In hindsight both the vet and I wish we had sedated the remaining pony. We both thought of it, but did not mention it to each other at the time as we both thought he would settle down as soon as the body was removed. I wish I could’ve spared him the anxiety he went through and the resulting colic.
Sorry that you are having to go through this. It’s never easy.
I am so sorry. When I have a goat that has still born babies or a baby dies I leave it in with her until she is no longer interested( usually 12-24 hours at most) . It seems to help with the grieving process.
I would do that with your horse as well. I think that they are able to distinguish life/ death and it helps them to process.
Maybe have another horse he can share a permanent fence line with and see what happens down the road.
I am so very sorry for you and your remaining horse.
i had four horses. The 27 & 29 yr old had been together 22 years. My third horse had been with the two elders 17 years. My fourth horse joined the others in 2006.
i lost the 27 yr old to big colic brought in by strangulating lipomas. His BFF was the 29 yr old Arab who was always a hard keeper and diagnosed with tumors in the hind gut before the 27 yr old passed.
everyone attended the burial when the 27 yo passed. It was one of the sadder events in my life to watch those horses stand quietly and mourn.
six months later, I had to lay my 29 yo Arab to rest. He seemed to stop trying after his BFF of 22 years was gone; even though the horse that had traveled with him for 17 years was still here.
The third horse had a melt down soon after losing the other two who were his leaders. He couldn’t lead himself much less the number 4 horse. It was gut wrenching around here for a few years.
#3 horse just this year started going up on the high ridge to where their favorite grazing spot was — it’s been 5+ years since my two alphas passed on. #3 horse is now 25 and has come to grips (mostly) with his loss. Horse #4 quickly accepted the loss and got back to going about his days in his normal way.
I hope I haven’t made a mistake sharing this with you but you are right to be concerned about your remaining horse. You won’t know how he will handle the situation until it actually happens. I could never have predicted the sorrow that followed when my 27 yr old passed.
my heartfelt sympathy and empathy to you----
I had two young OTTB that had come from a less than optimal situation. One was very lame and X-Rays revealed he had an old, unhealed Pedal bone fracture. I had other horses but the OTTB boys had been alone together at the previous owner and were bonded.
I worried about how the healthy one would do. I had Ace ready to administer if he became distressed . It turned out to be unecessary. We let him and all of the horses see the deceased and pay their respects. The older geldings had basically tolerated the heathy gelding up to that point. But it really seemed that they understood what had happened and they rallied around him.
I wouldn’t be inclined to let the other horse watch the euthanasia process itself. I used to work for a vet and have a strong emotional constitution for that kind of stuff. I’ve been present for my own horses, kept friends company for theirs, and stood in a few times for owners who just couldn’t. And as many times as I’ve watched, it doesn’t lessen how dramatic and unsettling it is to watch. Certain aspects of the process could easily trigger the other horse’s prey instincts and I can imagine it going into a blind panic.
We had had to lay the horse down in a certain place in order for the body to be picked up. The vet performed the process and we stayed with him until he passed. Afterwards, I opened the area for the healthy OTTB and my big boys to enter. I’d never watched how horses process the death of a herdmate until then. I have to say - it’s absolutely remarkable and touching. Anyone who calls them dumb animals knows nothing.
If at all possible have support on hand for you. Our vet was beyond lovely. My trainer at the time had come over the day before to pick up some jump standards. He wasn’t able to handle being present for the euthanasia. But he made sure the Ace, syringes, etc were organized and ready to go and and calculated the dosages for all 4 remaining horses. He also looked over the paddock and pasture configuration and helped me decide who should be where before, during, and after. Another friend came over later that evening to check on us.
Very sorry you have to go through this, OP.
I had a 28 yo turned out with my 7 yo…the 7 yo had been out since the day she was weaned with the older mare. In December I had to euthanize my old girl…I was really worried about the young one freaking out. The young one was the type you could not take the old mare out of the field first or she would run through the fence, very nervous/high stress horse. She would scream and kick the walls if you walked the older mare by…etc.
We put down my old mare after the came in as part of their usual routine. I did not take her to see the body (afraid she would freak out). I turned her out the next morning, ready for a melt down…it never came. She didn’t whinny, look, fuss…nothing. Just went out an grazed like it was a normal day. I have to say that I was a bit dumbfounded…I’m still not sure how to interpret it. Sorry you are going through this decision.
I took a colicking gelding for a one-way trip to the vet. My remaining gelding lost his mind. Every time I came outside, he’d scream and whinny at me. That would make me cry. Me crying stressed out my husband. We were all a mess.
I ended up spending tons of time with the remaining horse, and it seemed to help. We had some of our best rides ever. But…he still screamed and ran around like an idiot every time he saw me. He wasn’t eating either, unless I was out in the paddock with him.
Drove hubby nuts, so he bought me another horse. I was nervous, my gelding was very dominant and aggressive, but I set up a temp pen and took things slow. It worked out. Just give it time. However you decide to proceed, it will work out if you allow yourself the gift of time. Don’t rush anything.
I went through this recently. Younger horse had been with the older horse all of her life (over 13 years). I borrowed another mare and put her in next to the older horse (I had two stalls in a run in shed so existing horse was loose and could interact with old mare or with new companion. After a few days, the drama subsided and I reversed it. The I started letting new horse and current horse out together and had no drama. Then, a week or two later I put the older mare to sleep. I let the long time companion check out the body but she paid no attention to it at all and life got back to normal with the new companion.
I’ve been through this a few times and every time is different.
I had a bonded pair (mother/daughter). The daughter had to be pts due to complications from an old injury. But Deuce (the dam) never interfered. We were ready to sedate her, but she barely sniffed the body before she turned to grazing. There were never any issues.
Nikki, on the other hand (the mare put down in the previous scenario), missed her old pasturemate terribly when we lost her to colic. She looked and looked for her for days before we moved Deuce in with her.
Recently, I had two of the pasture herd put to sleep. Scrappy was isolated (illness) and the herd never saw him pass; Sheba was put down in the pasture. Only one of the herd came to sniff her and say goodbye. Life went on.
I definitely think it helps if they see/sniff the body before you bury or remove it. I think on some level, they do understand and while they might miss their buddy and grieve, it’s not as bad as thinking they’re just ‘gone.’ Jingles and hugs to you.
