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If you want a bond on the ground then do simple ground work and praise him so he realizes you want more than stand perfectly still. Treats carefully doled out are helpful.
Iām sorry, Iām tired, but all is can see is Bingo!
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:lol:
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Just in case post goes poof.
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no no please I apologize if thatās how my LOL appeared ā¦ certainly not meant that way ā¦ I just tht her post was funny ā¦ really ā¦
I have found that the fastest way to bond is just through my voice ā¦ an enthusiastic verbal greeting whenever I arrived & a peppermint helps too.
and adding Iām sorry for your loss of your horse ā¦Iāve lost two beloved horses due to freak accidents ā¦itās devastating ā¦
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Sorry for your loss, OP. Just keep spending time with the horse, just like you did with your last horse. Over time, youāll build a partnership. Ride, hand graze, groom, bathe, hack, hand walk, and do some ground work. Maybe look into clicker training. But for the most part it just takes time and fairness. If you are fair to the horse and spend time with him, youāll feel more connected.
I donāt understand this quoting āif it goes poofā or āfor posterityā ā¦who cares if it goes poof? Itās the OPās thread, if they make it dissappear, then whatever. Itās a casual forum, and people have different ways and reasons for keeping horses. To some, bonding is important, to others not so much. Some are more emotional, some not so much. I donāt understand this āfor posterity/poofā quoting, but maybe Iāve never had it explained to me. Or Iām dense. Always a possibility. :winkgrin:
And hey, if itās a troll, walk away. You donāt have to type a response. Imagine that.
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When someone deletes a post that has responses they donāt like, it makes all the other posts in the thread out of context for those who are reading the thread later.
just because you donāt like the answer doesnāt mean the answer is invalid, and other people do read these threads looking for answers.
I donāt understand treating a group forum like itās your personal Facebook wall. I see lots of threads just looking for head pats and praise and people get mad when they get anything other than sunshine and butterflies. I understand the distinction is blurred in the social media age where all communication is done online, but itās a mistake to assume everyone on a forum is your personal friend by default.
I donāt really understand why people think this particular post is trolling, but generally the āquote for posterityā is done to keep a thread from going out of context and therefore being a waste of space.
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I believe @Zuzu was responding to @allonsy . Donāt see any bullying in the post.
In any event, earlier posters are right. Simply spend time with your horse on the ground. Figure out what he enjoys and spend time doing those things. Most horses love hand grazing. Most enjoy grooming. Some have a scratchy place they enjoy having liberated. If your horse begins to associate you with things he enjoys, he will be happy to see you and begin to show his approval with ear pricks, perhaps nickers or maybe a nuzzle.
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Time, Time & More Time!
I understand your feeling of Loss for your previous horse - I lost my TB after 20yrs & the feeling that we truly knew each other made me wonder if I could ever get to that place again.
I have.
Thanks to a COTH Giveaway, I had 6 lovely years with a WB who taught me my heart did have room for another.
I have a Hackney Pony - given to me as a companion for the WB - going on 10yrs now & only in the past couple of years has he been anything approaching āfriendlyā - just the nature of the breed in part & how he was kept for 2yrs prior to becoming mine.
My current riding horse is a TWH gifted to me by a friend when I lost the WB.
TWH are friendly by nature, but it has taken him near 3yrs to really warm up. Since she had him for 6yrs & before that ??? - I donāt blame him for being reserved.
OTOH, my mini was a PocketPony from Day 1.
They have personalities & since your relation with new horse is recent just give him time to figure out you are his Person.
And donāt be disappointed if he turns out not to be a snuggly horse like the one you lost.
Some just arenāt.
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OP,I am sorry for the loss of your previous horse.
How do you make friends with other humans? How do you maintain good relationships with two-leggedās?
Your answer starts in there.
Making friends with a horse is not a complex thing, but many are mystified by it, partly because it is their main objective. They desire to be loved by their horse, but they do not understand what the horse values in the humans that he enjoys spending time with. They view affection and love on human terms, not on horse terms.
Horse value safety above all else. Show a horse you are looking out for him, that you have HIS best interests at heart, that you can not only understand what heās saying to you but can respond in a way he understand that shows him youāre looking out for him, and he will value you and see you as a friend. All the carrots and hand grazing in the world wonāt substitute for this.
That is not to say that hand grazing and food rewards do not have value, but they must have ascribed meaning to the horse. A horse that gets pulled from his stall to hand graze and is fed treats everyday by a particular person may come to like that person because horses inherently like food, and they understand that person is associated with food, but that does not mean the horse respects or understands he is safe with that individual. For that, you need to start asking things of the horse, show him that you have the ability to move his feet, show him that he can communicate with you and you understand and can respond to him, show him that he can do things he might be concerned about and be OK when heās with you - THEN your food rewards, hand grazing time after working, will have meaning to him.
Either way, you canāt bond with a horse you canāt spend time being around, so if the barn hours are limiting to you, thatās going to be an issue no matter what you ādoā during your time with said horse.
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Bought my ranch horse in Octoberā¦first 3 months at full care barn, then moved to self-care. Never felt bonded in 1st 3, but it is happening now. 6 month was the magic turning point. hefinally nickered to me in month 4.
I hang with him cleaning his stall, hand-walking, and clicker training. he is a very food motivated horseā¦when he realized I might be a source of food, the bonding sped up.
Weāve had a couple of close calls recentlyā¦tangled in a blanket and a pull back, that I felt he listened to me for the first time and didnāt completely panic.
Still a ways to go. we forget all the time and experiences we had with our prior horses that made the bond strong
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Iām sorry, OP, I certainly should have been more thoughtful. I was tired and I apologize. No personal intent was meant, it was a very poor attempt at humour on my part. Sometimes I shouldnāt type a response at all.
Heartfelt sympathy to you for the loss of your best friend. The grieving process is very personal and individual, it takes as long as it takes, and thatās ok.
I think time will help you with your new horse. Please donāt āsneak inā to see your horse after hours. You may need a different place to better suit your needs and time schedule.
Just be with him as much as you can, to reinforce that you are āhis personā. No one knows how long that might take. Shared experiences will help gain his trust and respect, and that also takes āas long as it takesā.
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Sorry you lost your horse, OP.
Do you think you may be expecting too much too soon with this new horse, when the kind of bond you had with your old horse took much longer and different experiences to form?
Maybe take this horse as who he is now, keep being there as much as you can, make that time interesting and happy for him, even if it is only grooming or hand grazing some of it.
Over time, if he is the kind of horse that likes people and working with them, he too will be interested in you, like your old horse was.
You will have formed new memories with this one, he will get to know you more and that is how bonds work.
As for bullying, that sounded a little harsh.
There are some of those most any public forums, here too, but Zu-Zu, AO, Always Optimistic is definitely not one.
In fact, if you need some kindness, she will be the first one to jump in to help.
Since you are leasing this horse, also think that some day you may have a horse of your own.
As we say in the dog world, every dog we have teaches us new things and so to be a better person for the next one.
Maybe what you learn from this horse will do that for you.
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I am sorry for the loss of your previous horse. A good horse leaves such a huge hole when he or she goes.
Others have already given great advice about giving it time and allowing a new relationship to develop without expecting it to be a reiteration of the old relationship, but I would also recommend that you take lessons with a good trainer. Perhaps youāre doing this already, of course. I just always tell myself that āyou have to have experiences to get experience,ā and working with a good trainer helps us have good experiences together. Those good experiences make sure our relationship is being built on a good foundation.
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You might consider going to an all day or all weekend ground work or obstacles clinic that will give you a lot of time together plus teach you both some language on the ground. Andbe fun!
You can try doing some clicker training with the horse. Itās a pretty easy way of getting the horse to really focus on you and not tune you out or see you as a hindrance to his ongoing life eating grass.
Cw123 I understand your guilt, however, he didnāt go thinking āHuh, my mom didnāt spend much time with me yesterday!ā Luckily they are creatures that live in the moment. I am sure he went to the rainbow bridge knowing just how much he was loved. Hugs. I spend time bathing, grooming, braiding, hand grazing. Peppermints are always welcome and my mare always looks forward to seeing me, if for nothing else but for those treats haha
The hard truth is that you can bond with your horse but your horse cannot bond with you. They are not birds.
They can, however, learn that you are the source of quiet authority and THAT will give them some confidence in your presence. You do this by working quietly, but from a position of authority, with the horse. The horseās world is pyramidal and you should stand at the apex of that pyramid and be the Source of All Good Things to the horse. This will not build a bond; it will build a relationship the HORSE understands.
Beware of anthropomorphism in this. Itās the source of much frustration and evil.
G.
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I understand the crazy work thing. There are many days where I show up, jump on a tacked horse, ride for 45 minutes, and jump into the car. I donāt like it, but its the reality of my job. That said, Iāve explained to my grooms that sometimes on a day when Iām not running to work, I will tack up, cool down, and untack my own horse - and that this is not a reflection of their services being bad or unappreciated.
Some other things Iād recommend:
Make a point of being the person who rides your horse on fun/hack day. Several people at my barn donāt come that day, and have one of the grooms do stretching, cavaletti, or trail ride. I find that those are some of the best days to develop a relationship with my horse, and try like heck not to miss those days.
Pick up a book on equine stretching or massage. Even if you only practice once a week, itās a great time to bond. Maybe after your Sunday ride, give the horse a shower and take him out to hand graze while he dries. Then spend 10 minutes doing carrot stretches, or massaging his neck. Hands On curry comb gloves are pretty well loved also.
