I’ll start…
Please do not flush anything down the toilet other than tp and human waste. That includes HAY!!! Spent the evening freeing the stoppage and pulling out a wad of hay from the toilet.
Please do not leave the wash stall wall smeared with manure. There is a hose in the wash stall with a nozzle.
Please do not lock the barn cat in the grain room all night.
Man, is it going to be a long winter :eek:
*Please don’t tie your horse to a vehicle. ESPECIALLY someone else’s vehicle. And please pay for the repairs if you ignore this rule.
*Please don’t give your horse a bath outside with ice cold hose water when it’s 38 degrees and windy as hell outside. ESPECIALLY if you don’t own any blankets to warm the poor guy back up as he shivers and rattles and shakes all over the barn aisle afterwards.
*Don’t pour straight bleach into every stall’s auto waterer and leave it there. NO, they can NOT safely drink bleach!
*Please stop running over the chickens.
*Please don’t think it’s okay to use the dairy farm next door’s milking herd as “cutting practice.” Really…just don’t ever try that again.
*Don’t buy a second horse, ship it in when the BO isn’t there and stuff it in the stall along with your own horse because you don’t want to pay 2 board payments. Seriously.
OK - MistyBlue, I feel better now! OMG - really??? Running over your chickens?
Thanks, but now I feel bad for you…
Please don’t pee in my trailer. Really.
OMG MistyBlue- did someone REALLY mess with someone’s dairy cattle? They’re lucky the owner didn’t go ballistic on them!
Please, if you come to the barn late, leave the lights as you found them!
Please no paper towels in the drain!
The barn doors are closed to keep buckets from freezing. I don’t care if you like sunshine. Shut the doors!
Spare buckets by the hydrant are for water, not tack cleaning, etc. Please buy your own bucket for that.
The entire tack room is not your storage closet. Please keep to your area!
Do not borrow towels, brushes, from barn supplies. There is nothing more irritating than washing dirty towels I didn’t use
These are actual signs hung by the BM. 
[QUOTE=MistyBlue;7905409]
*Don’t buy a second horse, ship it in when the BO isn’t there and stuff it in the stall along with your own horse because you don’t want to pay 2 board payments. Seriously.[/QUOTE]
Who would even notice? What could possibly go wrong?
:eek: :lol:
Please don’t gallop your horses through the fields full of crops.
They are not, in fact, planted there as decoration.
Thank Christ it was just a pumpkin field and not my neighbor’s $30/box organic cucumbers…
Please pick the wet spots out of your horse’s stall, not just the poop. Are you not aware your mare pees?
Yes, folks. THREE YEARS that self-care boarder didn’t pick any pee. Barely used shavings. Mr. C’Mare and I, along with 2 friends, dug and dug and dug with shovels and finally a roto-tiller get get the pitch black layers of clay out of the stall. In August. In 98 degrees. We have good friends. :rolleyes:
Do not leave all the lights on because you think it will be ‘nicer’ for me when I come back later (that’s what the dusk til dawn light is for)
Do not turn all the arena lights on when you go back to clean up a poop (seriously?)
Do not use all my nice clean pads on your horse because you thought I didn’t ‘like’ yours (I didn’t like yours because they were filthy!)
Please don’t lead your horse through places that are too small for him. Including the people door into the barn, with your tack on, and complain to me because your tack got scratched and NOT offer to pay for repairs to the door jamb that you ended up breaking.
Please don’t leave the arena door with a significant dent after your horse kicked it and leave without telling me about it.
Please don’t leave a full wheelbarrow out in the pouring rain because you decided not to go to the manure pile after all due to aforementioned rain. Did you honestly think it would get LIGHTER after filling with rain and manure?
Please don’t show up at midnight on Christmas Eve because you wanted to see if the animals really did talk (they don’t!) and have me have to get dressed and haul my butt out to the barn to see what is going on.
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Don’t jump in and out of the arena, open the gate.
Don’t put the OTTB you’re trying to sell in the stall already occupied by the 12hh welsh show pony, then tell me “it was alright” IT WAS NOT ALRIGHT!
Don’t blackmail a horse out of the BNT you’ve been sleeping with by threatening to tell his wife, and then don’t have it dropped off at MY place.
There is not enough paper to write these don’t do it notes. Just one “don’t come back” 
Please don’t remove the wire from the fence by cutting it between each fence post to put up your own.
Please obey the rule that says no dogs and if you do disobey that rule please do not just watch it kill our bantams and then bring it back again the next day.
Please do not use the only hose to wash both your horses and your dogs (with the special shampoo nozzle thing attached to it) while the rest of us have to wait to fill water buckets.
It was a small shedrow barn. The hose hogger did this regularly and would say she was almost done when asked for the hose to fill buckets She would wash one horse, scrap it, put it away then do the next. When done with the horses she would wash 1 or 2 dogs and towel dry them. She would not give up the hose until completely done. Sometimes, when in a hurry someone would go take it and remove the nozzle. She always got mad but oh well.
Forgot one - Please don’t remove lint screen on the clothes dryer because you are too lazy to empty it and then don’t tell me that the leg strap from your blanket has wrapped itself around the drum causing it to squeal like a dying animal - which in fact is what it was thanks to you.
Same lady as above. Please don’t bring your biting dog and then laugh when he goes after a guy because he doesn’t like strange men. I don’t care if he is small. I will punt him like a football if he comes after me.
Please don’t let your horses stand on the hose.
Please don’t throw a hissy fit that your horse HAS TO GO FIRST for the vet because you have plans with a friend, piss everyone off so they let you go first, and then stay the whole time anyway because you are flirting with the vet.
Please don’t turn your stallion loose with the herd after he has already attacked two horses and you have been told to keep him separate until you find a new place to keep him. (Never allowed studs again)
Please don’t let your friends come ride on my land with while wearing bikinis and flip flops. (I found this out viewing photos they posted on Facebook)
Please don’t call at 1:30 am, drunk, to tell us:
“Here, tell my buddy how fast my horse breaks out of the gate!”
That being an untouched colt you just dropped on us two weeks ago.
[QUOTE=raff;7905525]
Don’t jump in and out of the arena, open the gate.
Don’t put the OTTB you’re trying to sell in the stall already occupied by the 12hh welsh show pony, then tell me “it was alright” IT WAS NOT ALRIGHT![/QUOTE]
This is my (least) favorite phrase…
“The dog that lives her will get aggressive with your visiting dogs.” “Oh, it’s alright.”
“Your horse cannot be left unattended for hours in the arena.” “He will be alright.”
“Your horse cannot be in the aisle during turn in/out.” “No, he’s alright.”
No! It’s not!
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