Bought the wrong horse for me, now what?

[jonem004]

@Corgiequestrian

Its not the loosing money part im worried about when it comes to selling her, its more so im worried about my other horse being alone. I did speak to a trainer, but After loosing our rental home and our boarding facility, all extra expenses have to be cut until we can buy a home with some property for the horses so a trainer just isnt in the budget right now. I know selling her is the better way to go, but im just having a hard time letting go… guess im just looking for that push and reasurance that its okay to move on? Or if anybody has been in a similar situation.

Are medical bills in the budget?

[stargzng386]

I also vote to sell her. If it’s just her and one other horse she may actually do surprisingly better in a different situation with other horses. I think just having 2 is difficult for most horses to handle.

[Samantha37]

I have not read all of the posts… but I will say that I recently bought a project horse that has turned out to be an exceptional teacher for me… in that he scared me handling on the ground - he wasn’t horrific, he was just spooky and his legs go flying in a hurry. As soon as I realized I had a problem, I got help with groundwork. And it has made him better in every aspect of his life. He is happier in his stall, he is easier to ride… it has been amazing.

Find yourself a very good groundwork person and learn how to read their body language. Good groundwork will carry over to the trail riding. Also - maybe try to find a buddy to trail ride with for a while.

I thought I was a good horse handler - I have a lot of experience with a vast variety of breeds, ages, and genders. I’d never done ground work other than lunging and just overall handling (turn out/in, tacking, cleaning stalls with horses in them, riding, etc.). However handling this sensitive horse on a daily basis was a real challenge for me and I’m now learning just how much I don’t know about groundwork. It’s pretty incredible the difference it can make.

MTA: That all being said… I have sold horses in the past for not being the right match for me despite the fact that I loved one of them dearly. There is ZERO shame in that.

[Pennywell_Bay]

Not being snarky- this is not the first time you have posted about a horse that isn’t working out for you, is it time to move on etc.

So- after reading some of your other posts- I firmly advise to get rid of the horses you have until you are in a financial position to get some real help with training and boarding.

[Corgiequestrian]

@Pennywell Bay

Not being snarky- this is not the first time you have posted about a horse that isn’t working out for you, is it time to move on etc.

So- after reading some of your other posts- I firmly advise to get rid of the horses you have until you are in a financial position to get some real help with training and boarding.

That post was almost 3 years ago.
I was working a minimum wage part time job trying to make ends meet with a horse that had soundness issues. Now i make 3 times as much, working more than full time, i can more than afford their care, but right now we need a place to live so buying a house is a bigger priority than sending a horse for training. I have my family to think about first.
Obviously a medical bill is a completely different story. There is no reason for me rehome my older mare at this time. That is the same horse i constantly questioned finding a different spot for because i didnt know if i could give her the care she needed. Now i can, and have retired her.

[Wanderosa]

@Corgiequestrian

That post was almost 3 years ago.
I was working a minimum wage part time job trying to make ends meet with a horse that had soundness issues. Now i make 3 times as much, working more than full time, i can more than afford their care, but right now we need a place to live so buying a house is a bigger priority than sending a horse for training. I have my family to think about first.
Obviously a medical bill is a completely different story. There is no reason for me rehome my older mare at this time. That is the same horse i constantly questioned finding a different spot for because i didnt know if i could give her the care she needed. Now i can, and have retired her.

They meant can you afford the $50k+ medical bill that will result it you are thrown off this horse?

[Nezzy]

I am kind of going thru a very similar situation. I bought a mare that i did try, and she was fine and was very sensitive, which i loved bc i give light cues. But she hated the trail, which is what i had bought her for. She bucks. Sent her to training,(where i took lessons on her) and she came home and still hates the trails. So i put her with a consignment type situation. the woman charges me $375 board, I write up the sales ad, and there is an arena at said barn, where people can try her out. I don’t have that where i board. Horse is now for sale and we have high hopes for her to find a jumper-rider. She was a jumper previously. I will not keep a horse that i feel is a danger to me. I would rather give her away, than keep her. I want to find the RIGHT home for her, i like the horse i just can’t be her owner.

[TheHotSensitiveType]

OP, I am sorry that the sellers did not honestly represent the horse. BTW, I do not think there was a miscommunication about when you were coming to try the horse… they wanted to make you feel rushed so that you would jump into purchasing her.

With where you are now… I would think about these questions and go from there.

• Do you want to find a trainer that can work with you on the ground then eventually in the saddle? This will probably take quite awhile, and is this something you even want to do? Sending her off to training isn’t going to be a magic bullet because she will regress unless you take lots of lessons learning how to do the things the trainer did.
• Another consideration is the bad habits she learned to get out of work will still pop up every once in a while, do you want to deal with it?
• Her personality seems to be a bit more on the nervous end of things, is that a personality you like to work with?

IMHO, I think you would be happier if you found her a new home (there are people who like this type of personality and the challenges) and then went to look the horse you wanted in the first place. Take a friend next time!

[Hayburner]

Can’t you find someone reasonably priced to come and work with this horse?

Your fears are making things worse and believe me I get that, been there dome that. If you could get a cowboy to come and work with her a few times a week it may be well worth it and it will help,you get over your fears. Cowboys are typically way cheaper than a “trainer” t.

i get not wanting to sell the horse and you were not given the right information, lesson learned for you, ride the horse before you buy it.

[Wanderosa]

@Hayburner

Can’t you find someone reasonably priced to come and work with this horse?

Your fears are making things worse and believe me I get that, been there dome that. If you could get a cowboy to come and work with her a few times a week it may be well worth it and it will help,you get over your fears. Cowboys are typically way cheaper than a “trainer” t.

i get not wanting to sell the horse and you were not given the right information, lesson learned for you, ride the horse before you buy it.

Not only ride it, but ** ride it in the conditions that you want to ride the horse in**. Want a trail buddy? Take the horse out onto a trail during your trial ride. Want a slow and steady Eddie field hunter that is content to roll along in 3rd field? Many of the good sellers around here will arrange for you to go out on the horse (I once went to look at a freebie Appendix QH that was blind in one eye. I was surprised when the owner’s employee saddled up and took us out for a cubbing style hack. But it did demonstrate that the horse was unflappable in the field despite the bad eye. ) Stadium jumping? Make sure you get to jump it around a course in an arena. I know a few horses that can jump any solid obstacle in the field but seem to have depth perception issues with jumps in the arena.

Be honest with yourself about your expectations and criteria and budget. Just last night I saw an ISO ad on FB. It started off with the dreaded “Casually seeking out” and got worse from there. Wanted a big-bodied husband horse. No buck, rear, bolt, bite, side-eye, etc. No vices, no maintenance, must go barefoot. Must be under 10; preferred no older than 5 (!) Flashy color of upmost importance. "Modest budget’. Not sure exactly how much they wanted to spend. They rejected a potential prospect offered at $1800 as “out of budget”. If you can find the unicorn they want for under $1000, please accompany me to the Handy Mart to pick out the numbers for my Powerball ticket?

I realize that many sellers don’t have the appropriate set up and skill to show the horse in the conditions you want to ride it in. That’s fine. Don’t bother looking at their horse. Sounds mean, I know. But unless you have unlimited time and space and funds you have to put your interests above theirs and make sure that you’re getting the horse that is right for you. It’s too hard on the heart and the wallet to keep ending up with bad fits. I say stick to buying from a reputable trainer or sales barn, although others may disagree. I’ve never come across anything suitable from a random ad on Craigslist. The problem is that probably 80% of horse shoppers are looking for the 20% of horses that are beginner safe, backyard pleasure rides. Those horses are almost always going to be older, well-trained, in consistent work, coming out of a program only because they need to step down into a more relaxed pace. Not the 5yo horse that Billy Bob has thrown out in the field with his cattle.

Good luck. I hope you find a solution that works for you, the mare, and your retiree!

[Nezzy]

i have an update to my recent post, a teenage girl bought my mare. She and her trainer love her, and they don’t mind that she can buck sometimes. It is a win-win.

[OneTwoMany]

Terrific advice from earlier posts. It cannot be emphasized enough that if you aren’t able break her of her bad habits, they will only become more ingrained and someone will likely end up hurt. If involving a trainer is financially out of the question, sell her or give her away (with all issues disclosed) and start saving up for another more suitable horse.

I agree with @TheHotSensitiveType it is probable the seller wanted you to feel “rushed”.

[SharonA]

The horse is probably on a bulletin board somewhere saying, “I’m with the wrong owner for me; please help.” You say you are attached to this horse, but, your ownership may not be his best chance at happiness. We all get attached. That’s why we’re on this board. But we have to put the horse’s well-being ahead of our emotions.

Give this horse away to someone who has the time/experience/money/routine work that this horse is craving. There is no shame at all in this – so many of us have learned this lesson the hard way. And I’m not saying that given more time and money, you couldn’t turn this horse around yorself – but it’s not the right time for you to spend a lot of time and money. Again, no shame. Just move this horse along – you may feel better once you do and maybe he will be feeling the same way.

[Bluey]

@SharonA

The horse is probably on a bulletin board somewhere saying, “I’m with the wrong owner for me; please help.” You say you are attached to this horse, but, your ownership may not be his best chance at happiness. We all get attached. That’s why we’re on this board. But we have to put the horse’s well-being ahead of our emotions.

Give this horse away to someone who has the time/experience/money/routine work that this horse is craving. There is no shame at all in this – so many of us have learned this lesson the hard way. And I’m not saying that given more time and money, you couldn’t turn this horse around yorself – but it’s not the right time for you to spend a lot of time and money. Again, no shame. Just move this horse along – you may feel better once you do and maybe he will be feeling the same way.

Psst, post 31, seems that the OP has moved the horse on.

[MorganJunkie]

But Nezzy was not the OP. Nezzy was commiserating with the OP.

[Bluey]

@MorganJunkie

But Nezzy was not the OP. Nezzy was commiserating with the OP.

Oh, more than one story going on there, thanks for the correction.

[Rackonteur]

@Corgiequestrian

This is going to be a long one so im sorry in advance.

So im feeling a bit stuck lately.

End of last year i purchased a horse from 6 hours away. I spoke with the owner and asked as many questions as i could. She was advertised as a solid trail horse with some go, and i asked her if this horse would ride out alone which she said yes. She sent short videos of her daughter walking around the paddock on her but she didnt have any proper videos. I put a deposit down to come view the horse. I was planning to try the horse before buying however i think there was a miscommunication as once we arrived we found out they were leaving for work shortly. So i just handled the horse on the ground. I should have seen the warning signs but im not an experienced buyer. While there i found out she had sat for around a year. I thought this was a ready to go horse. She originally said she was down sizing her herd. But then when we were there, she said she wanted something more laid back. She also advised doing groundwork before getting on her as she can be a big “c***” after time off. Before we got there, there was no mention of bad behaviour. I should have walked away but i had already fallen in love with the idea of this horse.

Right away when i started working with her i found out she both bucks and rears when she does not want to work. (She also bucks and rears often in her paddock playing, and will also do so on the lunge with no tack so i do not believe it is a saddle issue.) She is quite nervous anywhere away from her paddock, and does not like riding out alone. i was told she neck reins and knows leg aids but she barely responds to either. I can ride her maybe 10 minutes away from home then she balks or tries to spin and head home. If i keep pushing her to continue she gets very worked up , and sometimes this wil lead to rear or bucking to try and get her way.

Honestly a few years ago this wouldnt phase me, i used to love riding green horses and my other horse is a ottb i got green 7 years ago. But as an adult this is not the kind of riding i want. Im more nervous now, and i did not want a project. I wanted a solid horse i could trail ride and play around with different disciplines. I work a lot so dont have time daily to focus on training a horse. We have made some progress now that ive started up with her again after the winter, but its very slow going. I sold my favourite saddle so i could get one that was a better fit for her, she gets her hay net filled twice a day and a small scoop of low sugar grain with daily gold stress relief added. I feel like it would probably be better if i just sell, but i havent been able to bring myself to post her ad. Despite how difficult she is, i do love her. Im trying to get her to the local arena more often but she is so herd bound to my retired mare and im not comfortable hauling her alone without my husband yet. If i did sell her, id loose a lot of money as i paid quite a bit thinking she was a safe solid trail horse so I wouldnt be able to afford to buy another horse for a while, and my retired mare would be living alone which she hates. Im not interested in paying for two horses when i can’t ride either of them. and it would not be responsible of me to rehome my retired mare as she has too many medical problems, but shes nowhere near ready to be put down either. I have no idea what to do. Any (kind) advise is greatly appreciated, and don’t worry i have definitely learned a lesson about buying horses.

Next time take your trainer with you. Or better yet, let her recommend an appropriate horse when she knows you’re ready for one.

I’m sorry you got stiffed on the horse.

[Corgiequestrian]

Ill be most likely listing the horse around the end of next month. It seems ill have a place to pasture my older girl for the summer at least, starting sometime in may. Then i will be looking for a possible foster companion type situation for her during the winter.
Until then, ive signed us up for a clinic and made plans with a friend to get together for a trail ride to see how she does with other horses riding out with us. i also do what ive seen from clinton anderson videos, making her work at home and resting her on the trail away from home, going a little further each time. I 100% believe she is fixable, but our progress is just so so slow because she sits for 4/5 days at a time while im working. It’s really hard for me to let go because in the back of my mind im always thinking “keep going there is a good horse in there!” But in reality she needs more time and confidence then what i can offer, and im not enjoying the process to get her where she needs to be.

[akdraft77]

I ended up in the same boat. Paid way too much money for a horse that was not trained nearly as well as I thought he was. I liked him a lot, and he wasn’t dangerous, and I had the budget to feed him, so I saved my pennies and sent him to a trainer. Best money I have ever spent.

This horse had no vices though, he was just green and I didn’t have the confidence/skills to finish him. Plus, I LOVE him. He’s a puppy dog in horse’s clothing.

There is a big difference between a green horse and a problem horse.

If my horse had bucking/rearing/attitude issues, I would have cut my losses and sold him on. I don’t have the confidence to handle a problem horse.

It just sucks that sellers cant be more honest. I don’t get it. I wouldn’t want someone getting hurt because I lied. I’d never forgive myself.