Bought the wrong horse for me, now what?

[Corgiequestrian]

This is going to be a long one so im sorry in advance.

So im feeling a bit stuck lately.

End of last year i purchased a horse from 6 hours away. I spoke with the owner and asked as many questions as i could. She was advertised as a solid trail horse with some go, and i asked her if this horse would ride out alone which she said yes. She sent short videos of her daughter walking around the paddock on her but she didnt have any proper videos. I put a deposit down to come view the horse. I was planning to try the horse before buying however i think there was a miscommunication as once we arrived we found out they were leaving for work shortly. So i just handled the horse on the ground. I should have seen the warning signs but im not an experienced buyer. While there i found out she had sat for around a year. I thought this was a ready to go horse. She originally said she was down sizing her herd. But then when we were there, she said she wanted something more laid back. She also advised doing groundwork before getting on her as she can be a big “c***” after time off. Before we got there, there was no mention of bad behaviour. I should have walked away but i had already fallen in love with the idea of this horse.

Right away when i started working with her i found out she both bucks and rears when she does not want to work. (She also bucks and rears often in her paddock playing, and will also do so on the lunge with no tack so i do not believe it is a saddle issue.) She is quite nervous anywhere away from her paddock, and does not like riding out alone. i was told she neck reins and knows leg aids but she barely responds to either. I can ride her maybe 10 minutes away from home then she balks or tries to spin and head home. If i keep pushing her to continue she gets very worked up , and sometimes this wil lead to rear or bucking to try and get her way.

Honestly a few years ago this wouldnt phase me, i used to love riding green horses and my other horse is a ottb i got green 7 years ago. But as an adult this is not the kind of riding i want. Im more nervous now, and i did not want a project. I wanted a solid horse i could trail ride and play around with different disciplines. I work a lot so dont have time daily to focus on training a horse. We have made some progress now that ive started up with her again after the winter, but its very slow going. I sold my favourite saddle so i could get one that was a better fit for her, she gets her hay net filled twice a day and a small scoop of low sugar grain with daily gold stress relief added. I feel like it would probably be better if i just sell, but i havent been able to bring myself to post her ad. Despite how difficult she is, i do love her. Im trying to get her to the local arena more often but she is so herd bound to my retired mare and im not comfortable hauling her alone without my husband yet. If i did sell her, id loose a lot of money as i paid quite a bit thinking she was a safe solid trail horse so I wouldnt be able to afford to buy another horse for a while, and my retired mare would be living alone which she hates. Im not interested in paying for two horses when i can’t ride either of them. and it would not be responsible of me to rehome my retired mare as she has too many medical problems, but shes nowhere near ready to be put down either. I have no idea what to do. Any (kind) advise is greatly appreciated, and don’t worry i have definitely learned a lesson about buying horses.

[rockonxox]

Find a trainer for her and for yourself or sell her. Working with her on your own does not, from what you’ve said, sound like it is going to be productive or safe. You are right that if you sell her where you are at now that you will lose money. If you go to a trainer you may be paying and losing even more money (or who knows, maybe she’d flourish with a good foundation education). Unfortunately, caveat emptor which you’ve found out the hard way.

[Corgiequestrian]

@rockonxox

Find a trainer for her and for yourself or sell her. Working with her on your own does not, from what you’ve said, sound like it is going to be productive or safe. You are right that if you sell her where you are at now that you will lose money. If you go to a trainer you may be paying and losing even more money (or who knows, maybe she’d flourish with a good foundation education). Unfortunately, caveat emptor which you’ve found out the hard way.

Its not the loosing money part im worried about when it comes to selling her, its more so im worried about my other horse being alone. I did speak to a trainer, but After loosing our rental home and our boarding facility, all extra expenses have to be cut until we can buy a home with some property for the horses so a trainer just isnt in the budget right now. I know selling her is the better way to go, but im just having a hard time letting go… guess im just looking for that push and reasurance that its okay to move on? Or if anybody has been in a similar situation.

[Scribbler]

Buy your other mare a goat for company and sell this horse to a trainer who wants a resale project. Honestly, many horses behave like this for nervous riders, and there is a good chance a trainer can fix her in a couple of months.

I have seen people fix horses like this and people create horses like this.

Sell her now, ASAP to cut your losses on feeding and take advantage of spring and minimize the chance you will get hurt.

I would advise sending her to a trainer but if that’s not in the cards financially or you are just done with this horse, sell her cheap cheap cheap to someone who can turn her around.

Expensive lesson learned. Just be glad you made this decision before you came off and were hospitalized.

[NoSuchPerson]

Well, this probably won’t qualify as “kind” advice…

Even though you have listed several reasons why you should sell this horse, you have also included just as many justifications for keeping her. It seems to me that you already know what you need to do, which is sell this horse. It also seems to me that you aren’t really prepared to do so.

None of the “benefits” of keeping this horse offset the very real risks associated with continuing to try to work with and ride her. I hope you follow through with selling her before you get hurt or your confidence gets shattered and you give up riding entirely.

[Scribbler]

The horse will decline in value every day that she stays with you. Right now you can say you bought her 6 months ago and it was a mistake. Someone will take her off your hands. If you hang onto her for say 2 years and wait until you are hurt to sell her, she’s that much older and that much more ingrained in her habits.

It is very possible horse just isn’t really broke, to longe or ride.

[Corgiequestrian]

once we move i probably wont be able to get another horse until next summer. Would my mare be okay on her own until then?
She hates other animals, and we dont have suitable fencing here. I also already asked about having goats here but its not my property and they dont want any more animals here.

I know selling her is the right way to go, she is definitely fixable for someone that can put the time into her, but i get very attached to my animals so its not an easy thing for me to do.

[RedHorses]

It’s not clear from your posts - are your horses boarded out or at home? If they’re boarded you’ll get to the rideable horse you want sooner by selling now and saving the board money for the next horse’s purchase.

You could look into trading horses. You might get lucky and find someone to has a boring (to them) trail horse who is looking for a bit of a challenge.

It sounds like you need to make a decision and commit to working on the horse’s training to get her where you want, or sell her.

[Pally]

Not sure I understand the properties part, but would it be possible to move your retired mare and board her somewhere then sell this one. It would free you up to look for a new place.

I mean, you know deep down you need to sell her. It’s just sometimes the mind gets bogged down in the details and the pro con lists.

[Corgiequestrian]

@Scribbler

It is very possible horse just isn’t really broke, to longe or ride.

I agree. i do not think i was given honest info about this horses training. She lunges great for me now, changes direction, good woah. She used to be a pain to catch but now shes gotten a lot better, and is standing quietly while tied as well so we have made progress, but Im not a trainer. I agree better to let her go now then let her sit and be a bigger problem down the road.

[ladyj79]

this isn’t really a sell her horse, in my opinion, this is a give away to a trainer/cowboy. Dealer trade is also an option but those can be sketch also. or not. research helps.

If no trade, then pick up a companion horse. I have one who can happily sit in your field until you find another horse :lol: and I’m sure a million other people do too.

[Bluey]

Sell that mare that is not safe for you.

Ask your vet or farrier for a loaner horse to keep your mare company until you find another horse you can ride.
Our vet always knows or has himself a horse that is just sitting there that he loves to loan to a suitable home, that someone had to give up but are very nice, some are old horses.

A rescue also may need a place to park a horse for a bit.
Not all rescues are as honorable as they should be, vet well before trying to work with one.
Some rescues can be up front and honest, others will dump a horse on you, maybe even a not suitable one for a companion, or don’t want it back when you don’t need it any more and make you feel terrible when you need the horse to move on, etc.

Now is the best time of the year to sell a horse like yours, with good weather ahead for someone to train-retrain that mare.
By late spring early summer most that like to take on horses like that already have found what they need.

A horse like you describe her may just take a couple months to work thru her problems, may take six or more months of regular work, or she may never be quite safe not to be pulling stunts any time something sets her off.
If you can’t have a trainer evaluate her for a couple months, selling her may be best.

Of course you like her, that is why you bought her.
If she is not what you need, liking here is just not enough, in your situation.
Selling her will hurt, that she didn’t work will hurt.
Getting hurt by a horse that has those problems will also hurt.

Some times you can buy a horse and be the fit you were expected, or it may take buying and trying a horse for a while before you are sure it is the one that fits what you want.
If not, sell and keep looking.

[Corgiequestrian]

@Pally

Not sure I understand the properties part, but would it be possible to move your retired mare and board her somewhere then sell this one. It would free you up to look for a new place.

I mean, you know deep down you need to sell her. It’s just sometimes the mind gets bogged down in the details and the pro con lists.

I boarded the entire time ive owned her, but the barn closed. i have nowhere else to keep her, i tried the other boarding facility here but the pens arent much bigger than stalls and it was more than double what i was paying before. She was a completely different horse there, she is used to being out in a large field 24/7.
My parents own the property they are on now. I fenced their property so i could bring my horse here and then bought the other mare.

[Guilherme]

@Corgiequestrian

once we move i probably wont be able to get another horse until next summer. Would my mare be okay on her own until then?
She hates other animals, and we dont have suitable fencing here. I also already asked about having goats here but its not my property and they dont want any more animals here.

I know selling her is the right way to go, she is definitely fixable for someone that can put the time into her, but i get very attached to my animals so its not an easy thing for me to do.

Napoleon once said, “Ask me for anything but time.” Time is the world’s most valuable commodity.

If you wait you will have to spend money on the horse’s routine care (fodder, forage, vet, farrier, etc.). This time of year is perhaps the best time of the year to sell a horse. If the horse just sits around for another year it will be worth less than it is right now just by virtue of it sitting around. No good for YOU or the horse will come from waiting.

If you have several thousand dollars to spend on trainers then you can try that. Around here a decent trainer for a problem horse will run north of $1100/mo. and we’re a relatively cheap area. This expenditure will be in addition to much of the routine expenses, noted above.

If you think you made a mistake then 'fess up, eat the cost of the mistake, and don’t make your hole any deeper than it already is.

Good luck as you go forward.

G.

[gottagrey]

Cut your losses with this horse. You know she’s not a suitable horse for you. Put a reasonable price on her, be honest with her limitations. If someone offers less - take it. Also agree with check with vet, farrier or a rescue for a companion horse.

[dressagegirl123]

You know how you end up with the perfect horse for you? You sell all the horses that are not perfect! Maybe that seems harsh to some, but I want a horse that is a joy to handle and ride. It sounds like you do, too. Your other horse will be ok alone for a while… Good luck.

[Wanderosa]

@Corgiequestrian

Its not the loosing money part im worried about when it comes to selling her, its more so im worried about my other horse being alone. I did speak to a trainer, but After loosing our rental home and our boarding facility, all extra expenses have to be cut until we can buy a home with some property for the horses so a trainer just isnt in the budget right now. I know selling her is the better way to go, but im just having a hard time letting go… guess im just looking for that push and reasurance that its okay to move on? Or if anybody has been in a similar situation.

Warning: Tough love ahead. If you love this horse, sell her on. Immediately. The longer a horse like this goes without intervention from someone equipped with the skills to handle her behavior the less the odds she will be rehabilitated. Each day you wait brings her another day closer to the slaughter house.

[shiloh]

Another vote for sell. She will only get worse. And think of this: what if one day you get hurt working with her? Can you afford the hospital bills? Sounds like you are in financial difficulties as well and keeping a horse that is essentially useless is a waste of money. Get what you can for her. Be honest with potential buyers (as her sellers were not honest with you) but she got to go. Wait til you can afford to get another and shop wisely - with your head not your heart.

[BrokenArrow]

At the end of the day, riding is a hobby for most of us. Hobbies are meant to be fun. Are you having fun with this mare? Does she bring a smile to your face when you think about riding her, or do you feel a pit of dread in your stomach?

Sell or give the mare away to an experienced home. She needs somewhere that she has a suitable rider for her and you aren’t it. Horses need a leader and someone who has the time and skills to give this mare the confidence she needs to become a good horse.

Next time you buy something, take an experienced friend and a voice of reason. So many people get emotionally attached to the idea of “this” horse and can’t take their rose coloured glasses off until they are smashed to pieces by the unsuitable horse.

[BeeHoney]

I didn’t read all the posts. But you need to get rid of this horse. Optimally you will give her away or sell her for just above auction price (we’re talking less than $1000) to someone who would be willing to work with her. You are going to take a loss. I think you need to just accept that and move on. You ignored a LOT of red flags when you bought this horse. It’s too bad, but don’t beat yourself up, a lot of people make mistakes when buying horses.

Here are your options:

Option 1) You give her away/sell her for minimal cost: your loss= purchase price of the horse.

Option 2) You send her to trainer and then re-sell her, only now, even if trainer is successful fixing her, she still has a history of misbehavior and a history of not being successful for an average adult rider, and the likelihood that she is going to re-sell for the original purchase price is very unlikely. After a horse demonstrates bad habits like rearing, bucking being herdbound, no matter how much retraining they have they lose a lot of value just from having that history. I think you could end up spending another $5000-10,000 in training and care costs and still not end up recouping anywhere near her original purchase price. The main advantage to going the training route is that you help the horse secure a safe future by rehabilitating it into a rideable animal before moving it along. But make no mistake about it–trying to rehabilitate this horse is likely a very expensive option. Your losses could easily end up much more than the purchase price of the horse.

Option 3) Keep her and retire her. This is the most expensive option of all. Let’s say you spend an average of $500 per month on her (board, feed, farrier, vet). That’s $6000 per year. If she lives another 10 years that’s $60,000 (adjust the numbers based on your actual costs).