Boyfriend is Allergic to Horses

[VioletG]

Hey horse community!

I have a question to all of you. Has any of you lived with or been with someone who is allergic to horses?

I am currently dating my boyfriend of almost two years, who is super allergic to horses. I’m talking eventual closing of the throat, hives, swelling, the whole nine yards. We discovered this when he met the stallion that I was riding about three months into the relationship, after he helped brush the horse. He managed to get his allergy under control with allergy pills, and can be around horses if he takes a whole bunch of them. He can be around them to the point of riding them, but direct hand to skin contact causes issues. The biggest issue right now is my horse stuff.

I have to shower after the barn before we hug etc. We do plan on living together at some point, so I’m wondering what all of your secrets and tips are for living with someone with an allergy. I’ve told him over and over that horses do not have to be a part of his life, but he’s adamant that they do as they are a part of mine. He’s started the journey of going to an allergy doctor, but I need to know tips for your gear, or clothes etc.

Thanks everyone <3

PS: Getting rid of the boyfriend is sadly not an option, and nor is quitting this sport lol.

[WPeg]

Tell him if he really loves you he’ll get allergy shots. Forever.

Just kidding (kind of). Good luck

[ChunkyMonkey]

Both my mom and sister are allergic to horses. It was rough living with them growing up, as I was at the barn daily. They had the same symptoms, hives, rashes, trouble breathing, the whole 9 yards.

What we had to do was keep all of the clothing that had come into contact with the horses separate. Before I could drive, I had to change out of my barn clothes and put them into a sealed bag before I could get into any of the shared vehicles, as even that gave them problems. It may be easier if you have your own closet, or one separate from his, so that horse hair/smell doesn’t permeate into his clothing.

Washing horsey clothes was also problematic. I had to do specific horse loads after everyone else was done, and then run a hot empty wash afterwards to get rid of all of the excess horsey stuff so that it didn’t get into their clothing and cause additional problems. Same with the dryer, as the horse hair comes off in there more so than the wash. I also had to wash horse clothing after every single use so that it hanging in my closet wouldn’t cause them issues.

When I got my own hand-me-down car, they wouldn’t/couldn’t ride in it, as I didn’t bother to change after leaving the barn anymore. Bonus for a teenager that didn’t want to have to give anyone rides anyways :lol:

Now that I live by myself on the opposite side of the country, I’ve become much more lax, but it shows whenever they come to visit. My home and car are horsey (as I’m sure most of ours are), and they both have to bring allergy meds to even get into my house and car. It’s not that either the house or car are dirty, it’s just that I don’t wash breeches after every single use, maybe every other now, and don’t take them off immediately after I leave the barn. Breeches are comfy! I’ll try and clean up a little and be more conscientious if I know they’re coming, but it really doesn’t make that much of a difference.

Best of luck! I’m envious that you have someone that willing to come to the barn and ride with you, even though they’re horribly allergic :yes:

[Sparrowette]

I fell in love with my first husband when he told me that he thought fresh horse sh** smelled nice.

[Hej]

It might be worthwhile for him to be tested to find out exactly what he’s allergic to - horse hair, dander, hay, shavings, straw, etc.

Then he might be able to get specific desensitization shots to diminish or even eliminate his allergic reaction. These are given for a year or two at ever longer intervals until the allergic response no longer happens.

(I am NOT AN DOCTOR, but had a 2 year desensitization series for wasp venom as a teenager. It worked great, I now have less reaction to stings than many non-allergic people.)

[Backstage]

My SO is allergic to horses (and animals in general) and it is manageable. I don’t know if his allergy is as severe as your BF’s, but certainly his ability to breath around animals, particularly in enclosed spaces is pretty limited! He doesn’t have much interest in the horses and is perfectly happy to come watch at a few shows a year, give carrots on holidays and generally play the absent father role. He could also come watch a lesson if it was outdoors (definitely not if indoors), but wouldn’t be able to help groom given the dander/hair involved.

If your BF wants to be more involved, then allergy shots are likely a very good options.

We do live together. For us, I just keep all horse equipment in the garage, or make sure it is clean before it goes downstairs to the utility room. Much of it, of course, lives at the barn with my horse. Due to the set up of our current house, I have my own laundry hamper so riding clothes go in there and generally get washed separately from our regular clothes, anyway. I also have my own closet. My barn jackets mostly live in the car, to be honest. I often ride after work, so I usually leave it in the car so its ready for the next day.

I will wash my riding clothes in our washer at home, but I never, ever wash saddles pads, boots, wraps, etc. Those all go to the laundry mat periodically. Their commercial units do a better job than mine would anyway! I have a large mesh laundry bad that accumulates all the horse laundry so I don’t have to go super often.

[Gloria]

He sounds like a wonderful guy to spend your life with, OP.

With that aside, has he tried allergy shots? The kind he gives himself a shot two~three times a week? I am allergic to horses (go figure…) thought not to the extreme he is experiencing, but the allergy shots have helped me tremendously. It is a long term project though. I am finishing my third year of injection and will start the fourth year shortly. After the fourth year, I think I’m all clear to go.

[joiedevie99]

Not as allergic as yours sounds, but yes. Hay bothers him the most. He can be around them in open spaces - like at shows - but the barn is a no-go. When we go somewhere together, we take his car.

When I come home from the barn, I enter the house through the basement, drop my clothes straight into the washing machine, and then walk upstairs to take a shower. I keep any barn clothes that don’t get washed daily - boots, jackets, etc. on a rack in the basement instead of upstairs.

[DunByMistake]

My BF is allergic to everything under the sun I think. He had allergy tests last year and he was allergic to every grass, tree, pollen, form of dust, and animal found in nature. His arms lit up. Literally the next day we moved to an acreage with my horse.

He didn’t have reactions as severe as your BF as far as throat closing, hives etc. but he’d get itchy, swollen eyes and an itchy throat. I felt guilty but he insisted he was ok (as he consumed packs of allergy pills). He’s not one to let something as insignificant as major allergy attack stop him so he would insist on helping with chores like getting hay :rolleyes:. But he also had reactions to food (like raw veggies) so his allergies were really limiting to him. Or he’d have a reaction to a type of alcohol and his whole body would go bright red and about 200 degrees - made for really relaxing evenings out.

He started getting shots about in February and I honestly cannot say enough good things about them. This was a guy who was taking at least 2 allergy pills a day plus a Benadryl usually and since he started shots, he’s maybe taken 3 pills altogether. He can move hay, be around the horses, mow the grass etc. without having a reaction. The only thing that still seems to bother him a bit is our barn cats - which he very rarely comes into contact with anyways. Those shots changed his quality of life. They are a long term commitment but he’ll be ‘allergy free’ by his early 30s and his health benefits cover the costs of the shots so it is totally worth it for him.

If that’s something your BF would be willing to do, I would seriously recommend it not just because you have horses in your life. It will seriously improve his quality of life through allergy season!

[walktrot]

I agree with Hej. Has the allergy doctor tested him? That way he could narrow down the problems and determine what combination of shots and drugs would help calm things down. Stuff like closing of the throat, swelling and hives could be an indication that could be heading in the direction of anaphylaxis and might want to carry an Epi-pen. Things can change as you get older. My farrier now carries an Epi-pen after someone rescued her from the side of the road after a bee sting. Never had a problem before. If BF can ride but not touch them, maybe they will narrow it down to something like the dander, and maybe shots could help that. I’ve cruised along though 3 major hobbies (cars, sailing, horses) without having to maneuver the BF thing. Sounds like you have a good situation that needs a little fine tuning, since he is riding with you instead of glaring at you when you get home. Best wishes!

[rockonxox]

Good news… it isn’t like a cat or dog where they live in your house, so this is manageable! I’ve had to say farewell to someone because my dogs were an issue. Horses, I’ve been able to make that one work. I know it may seem silly, but wearing a mask can sometimes help (a friend’s mom did that when she came out to shows to support her daughter). You are doing a lot of the right things. Go through the garage/basement whatever you can (not a carpeted area if you can avoid it) to go in the house. Change out of your barn clothes. If you can keep extra clothes in the car (out of the barn) to change in to and leave the horse stuff at the barn that can help. Washing in hot water is what I do if I’m in an environment where a lot of allergens are bothering me, so if you can use hot water. Get an air filter for the home as well. None of these are fail safe, and you will likely still track allergens… but every little step helps.

Personally, I’ve gone through allergy shots. I did it for over 5 years starting in high school. It helped a little bit, but I still suffer from allergies. I was able to go for about 6 months with not taking any allergy meds, but as I’ve gotten older I went from going back to one a day to now at least two a day. I also keep my epipen handy just in case. My half brother, on the other hand, has gone through allergy shots and no longer suffers from anything. Every person will react to them differently – but I still feel like it is an avenue to explore. Have your boyfriend go to a good ENT doctor and allergist, I find that combination was the most successful for me.

[Abbie.S]

Well, I’m allergic to horses…but I suck it up, lol. It’s worth the suffering.

A lot of what I’d do (or do for myself anyway) has been mentioned already, but either way:

1 - Suggest he get actual allergy testing done to find out what the specific triggers are (sounds like he’s already starting on that route)
2 - Keep allergy medications and an Epipen in multiple locations: your vehicles, the house, your tack trunk at the barn, etc.
3 - Do your horse-related laundry entirely separate and do a hot rinse cycle after you finish to clean out any remnants
4 - Have two totes in the back of you vehicle: one for dirty horse clothes, the other with sets of clean clothes. Change before you leave the farm, dirty clothes go in appropriate bin. Clean your car out well before you do this to avoid cross-contaminating as much as possible

You’ll never shield him from every particle of horse-y-ness out there, but that should cut it down significantly. He sounds like a keeper, good luck!

[poltroon]

Mine is, not as bad as yours. We’ve been together almost 30 years. There’s a lot you can do to keep your horse clothes and home clothes separate and clean. It’s your basic biosecurity protocol and you can decide what you need and don’t. If he’s around animals he should always wear long sleeves and gloves to avoid contact. There are some masks that may be helpful too.

[equest]

@Abbie.S

Well, I’m allergic to horses…but I suck it up, lol. It’s worth the suffering.

My trainer is allergic to horses. I am sure there are different gradients of the allergy, and I guess it is manageable as it is not an animal that lives in the house. I think trainer and family are careful about bringing horse stuff into the house; they don’t do horse laundry in their washer/dryer, etc.

[candyappy]

If you really care about each other you will find a way to make it work where he isn’t in constant misery.

I would just plan to make horses a part of your life and not pressure him to be involved with them.

A clean change of clothes when you are done at the barn and keep your horse clothes in a garment bag to try and keep hair out of the vehicle.

[aquabrwn]

I am so delighted to see this thread and realize I’m not alone!

My husband is allergic to everything with fur. Allergic as in hives, asthma, whole nine yards. The kicker is that he didn’t used to be allergic - he’s actually a very nice rider and played polo in college - but it’s worsened with age. I was taking a bit of a horse break when we started dating, and got back into riding seriously after we were married. Imagine my horror the first time he got into our car after I’d taken it to the barn and had a terrible reaction :o

He did start allergy shots several months ago, too soon to know what the impact will be. I’m mostly hoping that it makes him comfortable enough to visit friends or family with pets… if he gets less allergic to my very expensive hobby, that’ll be a nice bonus.

In any case - I manage things pretty aggressively and the following routine keeps things under control:

• I change clothes before I leave the barn, and also use wipes on my face and arms if I'm particularly dirty or fuzzy
• I shower immediately when I get home
• I wash any really horse-y clothes separately, and I don't do any "full horse" loads (e.g. saddle pads or blankets) in our house - those I take to the laundromat
• I keep our car aggressively clean - my stuff is in either a bag or plastic bin in the back, I have a monthly pass to a car wash place and get it detailed regularly, and if I don't wash the car I do wipe it down inside after a trip to the barn (steering wheel and floor mats in particular!)
• Goes without saying that I don't bring horse equipment or tack into our house - I keep it in the mud room if I do have to bring something home

That sounds like a lot but honestly it's routine at this point and doesn't bother me. He's worth it ;) Good luck! It's totally manageable and part of being in a relationship is understanding each others' passions, and sometimes compromising in a variety of ways to make those possible :)

[BeeHoney]

I have a family member who is allergic to horses. I definitely recommend the allergy shots. Also, I highly recommend using a vacuum to groom your horse to keep down the dust/dander–the less of it that “goes everywhere” with brushing means less of it in your clothes and hair. I have clothes that are specific to the barn or for riding and I change them when I come in the house.

I really think the vacuum is key as the dander from the horse’s fur seems to be the main trigger (though this could be different for different people).

[VioletG]

Thank you everyone! We are doing pretty well right now, and I keep his contact with horses pretty minimal. Ironically, he learned about how much I can make while grooming, and he wants to do that this summer to get some more money! I told him the money wasn’t worth dying for lol!

[Chestnut_Mare1]

Oh, I’m all too familiar with this subject. Boyfriend, now husband, did not know he was allergic to horses, or had asthma) until he came to watch me ride at a show. He had to go to the ER! Don’t worry there is hope for the worst cases. Over the last 11 years his allergies have gotten so much better. I think exposure in small increments is what worked for us.

Allergy shots did nothing!

[Foxtrot_s]

Testing and Shots helped me and I’m fine now.