I’m an OT and these are the crutches I have for myself that have carried me through 3 ankle surgeries (I’ve spent more than a year of my life on crutches at this point). They have suspension springs and do not use your armpits, just your arms.
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I am on convalescence currently also. And guess what… The people who are riding can dismount and pick up their own goddamn poop, and remount. Shockingly, all of my riders are doing this now without even being asked.
It’s very hard for us trainers/Barn managers to ask for help. But I know that I delayed my healing by at least two months because I insisted on Valiantly hobbling around doing all kinds of crap I shouldn’t have been doing. You don’t get extra points for trudging through the pain and doing “all the things”. You just get a longer convalescence and poor healing.
I ended up having to go on essentially bedrest for at least a week to get ahead of the inflammation that I was causing by trying to maintain some minimal barn work. Just bite the bullet and get people to do everything. I mean everything. And you can’t set the jumps. No. Either the people can set their own jump, or they can do flat work, or you can get really creative and have them set their jumps before the lesson in a way that they don’t have to be adjusted. I know this is all a pain in the ass, but you’re gonna make your life much worse if you don’t Seriously rest like it’s your job.
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I think you need to scale it back. Don’t make the same mistake I did: I tried to tough it out with a pretty major leg injury as I was in the middle of a big project at work. Now I have permanent damage. My husband very kindly (not!) frequently reminds me it’s my own damned fault.
Rebecca
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They are willing to scoop poop, but I have two horses that are poop machines. I also hate seeing old people get on and off old horses multiple times…but that may have to be the situation some lessons. My clients aren’t the problem…my stubbornness is…
Or they can do their best to ride around the poop until the end of the lesson? If there’s no one on the ground to scoop as they go, the riders can get off and do it themselves or do their best to avoid riding over it and then do an extra-thorough pick when they’re done. You may just have to lower your standards for a while. It won’t be the end of the world if a few pieces of manure end up ground into the footing. Maybe your lessons won’t involve poles for a while. There’s plenty of value you can provide your students while still setting some essential boundaries for your recovery. Plus, what happens if you stretch too far at some point and collapse in the middle of a lesson? You need to be minimizing risk right now, not trying to find creative ways to get around your limitations.
I agree with @Arlomine. You’re pushing yourself too far, and have already pulled something in the area that’s supposed to be healing! Redirect your stubbornness to being as committed to your recovery as possible even though it goes against some deeply-ingrained mental patterns. Look at it this way: if you take the conservative approach for now and either accept help or accept that some things just temporarily won’t get done, you have a really good chance of being fully recovered in a few months. If you keep pushing yourself to do things you shouldn’t be doing, you may NEVER get to go back to business as usual.
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I’m going to say this as kindly as possible….But…you need to get over yourself here. I get it. I did too. You are delaying your healing, and re-injuring yourself with this nonsense.
Things changed for me when I changed my mind. I took on convalescence like it was my job. It’s the only thing that started to turn things around. I am still on crutches, but I am now not in excruciating pain at night when the covers lay on my feet. So there is progress.
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Nothing wrong with poop scooping after the ride instead of during the ride.
I’m not sure what you mean by old people but if it’s 50 on up then it’s good for old people to exercise. I’m an old person so I’m not picking on old people.
Consider it a beneficial service.
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Seriously, please take care of yourself. There are a few here with life long regrets of not taking care of an injury and ending up with permanent damage.
Treat yourself like you are your heart horse. Strict rehab.
You will get through this. Please ask for help when you need it.
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Thanks all. I think part of the issue is we don’t have a timeline of recovery or an idea of what I should or shouldn’t be doing other than “don’t do it if it hurts”. But sometimes it isn’t “hurting” just a pull, or an unsettled feeling. But yes, I need to smarten up and accept help better.
Hopefully I get better information and can start physio after my mid November follow up. I also get my follow up for me DVT (which still pops from time to time, but only hurts if I press on my calf.), and I see a neurologist who specializes in concussions (something I think is part of my long term health and mental issues).
DH also has to stop pushing me. If he wants help we can hire help…but I guess a few things got damaged with clients doing chores, (nothing expensive, just work for him to fix).
I really need to get pictures of my gelding to help sell him, and it is so hard to resist not taking him out myself and taking his blanket off, but hoping DH can help later. I really struggle with being dependent.
On the plus side, the delivery driver for my HelloFresh order is awesome. She saw me in crutches last time, and so rang the doorbell to see if I wanted the box delivered up the stairs in the house (I did).
On the downside I am having a lot of trouble worry about long term ramifications/plans and what ifs. Which are pointless, but I have so much time on my hands.
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Hey, I am almost 50! And suddenly 50 does feel old. I have a few clients older than 60, and they are ok to get on and off, but I found a couple nearby teens that want to ride in exchange for helping. That might be a better solution for a couple days a week…and I have two underused horses that could use the work (I wanted to part lease them out, but don’t feel I can take new beginners now), so win for the kids, the horses and for me. Hoping the kids can come out this week.
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I am beginning to wonder if my relationship will last this. And that sucks.
Thankful for cats today.
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I’m sorry things are tough. I’m glad you have that sweet leg warmer too.
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I’m so sorry it’s getting that bad. I have no advice but lots of jingles for healing, peace and comfort.
Cats are wonderful. Looks like he is doing a great job as a leg warmer and cuddler.
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My cats have been great companions in this. Chubby orange most, but we have 7 others (5 in the house, 3 only in the barn…their choice).
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Well, things are not good.
Horses are fed three times a day. Morning, night and a flake at 4 (and that is when the two indoor horses come in). DH was still busy with work calls at 4:15 (I assume) and I knew he was still in good clothes, so by 4:20 I headed out to start what I could do for chores so the horses had their flake before people came to ride after work/school. As soon as I got outside, he came out of the garage (he has his desk set up out there) and asked what I was doing. I replied I was going to help by starting to feed. He lost his mind. Lost it. I have no idea. So I just kept walking/crutching. He kept yelling. He got changed and then came around to the barn (where I was feeding mares) and questioned if I medicated the one mare (I had) and just started yelling that I was being controlling, and had to have things my way, and that I could just do all the chores then.
So that’s what happened. I fed and then brought the two horses in. Not something I should be doing, but this seemed like a hill I was literally willing to die on. (he watched me catch the horses and kept nattering at me). I do not get it. For 18 years he took no interest in helping, and now he is losing his shit over me trying to help him do the job I did for 18 years.
So now I am scared. Lost.
Sorry for unloading.
I then made dinner and he came in to eat, and has neither said anything nor apologized.
I am pissed but in too fragile/dependent a position to do anything.
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I’m sorry about how things are going. It sounds like he is probably very worried about you and frustrated that you aren’t taking better care of yourself. No, he didn’t express it well, but I bet the root of his issue is concern for you. Sometimes when people don’t feel heard their concern expresses itself as anger. There may also be some frustration that you aren’t being more flexible about feeding times etc when he is trying to help you in addition to working. Please take a deep breath, slow down, and think about what you can compromise on until you are 100% better.
ETA, I am not a yeller but my husband is accident prone and I have definitely yelled at him for doing too much when he’s already injured. It is crazy-making.
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That sounds… well, it makes me frown. What a communication breakdown 
You are both in a crap situation and trying to deal with it.
I have no idea of your actual situation, and I will take you as the absolute expert on your relationship. From the words that you have written, and knowing a summary of what has happened the past while - my guess is DH is scared and worried. First that you were seriously injured enough that he had to fly home, and now because it sounds like you might be overdoing it.
Sometimes when we are scared and worried, we express it in anger. It doesn’t help the situation, but it is what it is.
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I am so so sorry that things have taken this turn. This sounds horrible, and I am reluctant to make any comments based on my poorly understood Internet version of what’s going on here.
You have both entered terrible relationship spiral. It does sound as though his anxiety and worry has branched off into anger, which can be a male response to feeling helpless in the face of an injured loved one. Helpless, anxious men tend to express these emotions in anger and frustration.
Do you have a counselor? Your hospital may have several on staff that are available to you.
The degree of control that you may have to give up to get over this hump in healing is extreme. In this particular case, I wonder if having someone feed instead of your husband even if it means the horses getting fed at an inopportune time, By one of the riders who come after school? Bending and flexing in establish routine is excruciating, but in this case it could really make the difference between your relationship surviving and you being able to heal.
This is the insane daily chart I had to make so that all the people who are helping me get all the things done. I have had to bend in several areas. The horses stalls can get cleaned at any time in a 24 hour period, I really don’t care one as long as it’s a good job. The horses get fed four times a day, but the feeding times are fluid except for the morning being quite early at five or 530. The last feed can be between 7-8. And a fudge factor on either side of “feeding time” is fine. Since the horses are fed so frequently I have not had any kind of behavioral issues.
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So scared and worried he put me into a corner so I felt I had to bring the two horses in? (one was the one that put me in the hospital. a bit of a spooky a$$, but fortunately so worried about my crutches that he was an angel. It was a power play. I think I did scare him that I wouldn’t back down. If he is scared he can use his big boy words instead of ranting.
Last night he was acting like he wasn’t going to do night chores either. I think he wanted me to ask/beg him but instead I got up, did dishes, asked if he was going out and started to get ready myself (the inside horses to out at night, so I have been cleaning their stalls after they go out). Well, he yelled so more things that made no sense - started in about how I didn’t mail something he asked me to while he was away…said he left it on “my table” to be mailed…but I reminded him he only set that table up after I got home from the hospital. Anyway, he did feed horses, I did clean stalls, but he was still acting strangely.
He did chores like normal today (albeit early). I think he is tired and frustrated, but I also think he kind of likes feeding the horses.
I think he is still mad about not being in Germany…but I found out the project still isn’t done, so he would STILL be there if he hadn’t come home for me, which would NOT have been ok.
(the reason I think it was a power play vs concern is his dad pulls the same stuff. As an example, one easter dinner FIL absolutely lost his mind for 10 minutes because we bought a CRV off my parents rather than accept his old Toyota sedan…and then we wouldn’t tell him what we paid. It turned into a rant that yelled at everyone at the table for being ungrateful…and they all just sat there, so not something unexpected.)
Alberta actually has some very good resources for mental health, which will be part of my healing. Right now I am trying to think of ways I can reinvent myself depending on my healing. I was readying up on pubic arthritis yesterday. Crotch arthritis. If I had had surgery it would have reduced the risk of crotch arthritis (but other big risks), but as it is, this is a real risk. Can one ride with crotch arthritis?
You led the horse who injured you while using crutches?
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