So I brought my 2 mares home Thursday and it’s now Monday … both of them are Thoroughbreds, one is 23 and the other is 6. For the past 2 nights I have been trying to work with my 6 year old and she almost refuses to do anything without the other horse around and she will fight me and whiney for my other mare whole time. Like last night I was just giving her a nice cold hose down because it has been so hot here… she pawed and paced and whiney the whole time. I know it can be scary for them , new surroundings and they’re not use to me yet so maybe she’s looking for security in my other mare. What are some things I can do to bond with her and get her to trust and respect me? I’m eventually wanting to barrel race with her and take her to shows so I’m hoping she will get over this buddy sourness. Help!
It’s always interesting when you swear you just read this post and then realized it was on a different forum! 
I didn’t comment on your post on the other forum, but I will here.
Personally, I don’t give new horses ANY time to settle in. They get worked with right away when I bring them home, or the next day.
How much training has the 6-year-old had? Even if she is riding, I would start from scratch and treat her like a colt, to see what she knows and what she doesn’t. It can be difficult to deal with a buddy sour horse, but it is completely manageable.
Start with some basic ground work exercises. Ask the horse to move its shoulders, ribcage, hindquarters, etc. Ask them to back up, etc. Ignore the buddy sour issue because it’s irrelevant. Focus on asking the horse to perform a task. Do not stop asking until she gives you the smallest correct response, then release the pressure and praise. The whole point of doing ground work is to get the horse to focus on YOU and not what is going on around you. She can’t be buddy sour if she’s focusing her attention on you.
And that applies true for just about anything. Get the horse to focus on you and what you are asking her to do, and other “problems” seem to suddenly disappear. (spookiness, won’t trailer load, disrespectful, etc)
Personally, I don’t believe we “bond” with horses. I believe that horses are friendly, that most like attention, but they also want their LEADER to keep them safe. You become their leader when they trust and respect you. Like anything, that trust and respect has to be earned, through training. You teach her to pay attention to you, and then you become that leader for her.
