In PA, hay buying was pretty painless and the suppliers seemed to understand horse people. They would happily open a bale for you, replace bad bales, and let you purchase “sample bales” or small loads before committing. In general it was sold by the ton, unless you were purchasing a small load. Most had delivery available or could at least help you arrange delivery for a reasonable cost.
In my current area of TN, hay buying is a completely different ball game. I think the problem is that the majority of hay farmers here aren’t horsemen, or they treat their horses like their cattle. Most farmers want to sell in large quantities, usually by bale count. “500 bales of timothy hay, must purchase all 500.” It’s also really common that hay is sold straight out of the field by the cutting and you have to pick the bales up out of the field yourself. That method can be disastrous without a trustworthy farmer. The majority of farmers won’t deal with delivery at all-- so you need to figure out how to load and transport hundreds of bales at once. The average farmer does not replace bad bales. The average farmer is insulted if you ask to crack a bale, and you will most definitely be paying for that bale.
After getting burned and ripped off SO many times with moldy or inedible hay, I’ve learned to be extraordinarily careful around here. I’ve also learned I have to be very direct. While I’m polite, I also have to be sort of a b*tch about what I want or else they will take advantage of me. For example, I have to tell them up front that I want to purchase a few sample bales before committing. If the farmer balks at that idea, then I take my business elsewhere (and believe it or not, a lot of them around here will say no). If I have to pick it up myself, I make sure I’m clear up front exactly how many bales I can transport with my own truck and trailer. Before any money changes hands, I tell them my expectations of the hay and that I don’t want it if it doesn’t meet my expectations.
I was really blessed to FINALLY find a “horseman” in my area who supplies hay. Before that, buying hay was a living hell. I’m going to be devastated if he ever leaves the area or stops selling hay!