Camp Helper/ Employee

[Wanderosa]

@KingRocker4Life

I was targeting summer camps/barns to work at in trade for ride time. I am new to NH ( moved here last September ) so does anyone know any barns up here that are pretty reputable? My trainer just called yesterday and said that she resigned from her job because of some issues between her and the stable owner. So she is now looking for a place to teach lessons and I need a good place to ride.

My daughter is a couple years younger than you and has been helping out on a limited basis at the day camp at her barn. She doesn’t get anything in exchange. In the past, there’s been barn politics brouhaha where they wanted all the kids except those from a certain family to pay regular camp rate to help. I’m not able to afford that as a single parent. The horse budget has to go to cover leases and training. My daughter regards helping invaluable experience because teaching others helps her improve her own technique. Plus, she is just generous and enjoys helping others. Still, it is not an unusual arrangement for junior counselors and CITs to pay tuition and I believe you’d be hard pressed to find anywhere that won’t want you to pay them . A ride time exchange would be almost unheard of because most places have barely enough horses to pull off a camp and they aren’t going to want their already exhausted horses getting ridden yet another time that day.

I agree with other posters that you need to have a parent help you in the search. There are too many adults out there that will put you in a bad situation either willfully or through their own ignorance. My kids have the advantage of me being a lifelong rider myself. I’m far from a professional rider but I have worked as a barn manager in a professional capacity. I know enough to see stupidity coming. One recent example: an older adult amateur at my daughter’s barn has a horse she paid $500 for. The horse was something that could have been finished by an amateur when she bought it. Unfortunately, she’s a very nervous rider and ground handler and enough incidents occurred that the horse is too dangerous for most amateurs. She wanted me to ride it. I declined. Then she got the brilliant idea that maybe my daughter could ride it. Absolutely not. She ruined her horse by not listening to folks telling her to get help from the get go. She gets to pay a pro if she wants it fixed now. The thing that made me upset was that I could easily see her trying to enlist the help of a child like you whose parents aren’t horse savvy enough to understand that the horse is genuinely dangerous and something terrible happening.

[KingRocker4Life]

Yesh. I dont require an exchange- I just want to help out and learn. I will pay if I have to. And I will look places up that you all give me before I go there. I am not stupid.

[skydy]

@KingRocker4Life

Yesh. I dont require an exchange- I just want to help out and learn. I will pay if I have to. And I will look places up that you all give me before I go there. I am not stupid.

You may not be stupid, but your posts here have been very rude. There are plenty of polite 14 yr olds that would love to help at a barn and learn.

They’ll be the ones that are most likely to get that opportunity.

[Arlomine]

OP, no one called you stupid.
However, your statement comes across as defensive, and implies that you think some on this board does think you are stupid.

It’s an example of a poor choice of language, and the kind of thing that will get in your way as you try to navigate getting opportunities in the horse (and other) world.

I am a barn owner and trainer. I have a small program, and have working students who do four and a half hours of stall/water bucket cleaning for one lesson. Most of them do the work in two shifts. It would be an unusual fourteen year old who I would trust with handling the horses, being organized, show in up on time, be strong enough to do the work. However, I have several sixteen year olds who have been taking lessons for a few years who do the work very well. They have shown me their work ethic, I know them well already, so I am comfortable with the transition to working for extra lessons.

these kids have already proven that they are reliable by showing up early for lessons, staying after to help out, and being information sponges. If they had said any of the things you’ve said in this thread, I wouldn’t have considered having them around the barn any longer that absolutely necessary for their lessons.

please re-read your posts and try to understand how they may be perceived by others before you press “send”.
I offer this advise as someone who was an impulsive sort at your age. It will help so much, as you learn to present yourself to others as a kid who is willing to work hard and learn.

[KingRocker4Life]

I am polite and all I am asking for are some references to barns that you know of. That is it. If you don’t know of any then please just leave me alone. I know I have been rude but so have you all. Not directly but you have implied some things.

[KingRocker4Life]

@Arlomine. I hope you don’t think that I am impulsive or untrustworthy. I think it is a poor choice to judge somebody off of online posts. I am that “unusual” 14 year old who is trustworthy, organized, strong, and who always shows up on time. I knew my trainer for 6 lessons and after that she let me muck and clean for 1 hour of ride time unsupervised. I hope you listen to what I am saying rather than just blow me off as a kiss up. Have a good day.

[Midge]

Ah, the learning curve is going to be a long, steep one…

[sprite]

@KingRocker4Life sent you a PM

[Scribbler]

@KingRocker4Life

I am polite and all I am asking for are some references to barns that you know of. That is it. If you don’t know of any then please just leave me alone. I know I have been rude but so have you all. Not directly but you have implied some things.

OP just read this over a couple of times. And then a couple of times more in a few days. And give some thought to how you are presenting yourself here in a world of adults.

Polite is not an inherent quality like saying you are tall or have blue eyes. Polite is a description of the sum total of your behavior in the world moment by moment. You can’t be considered a polite person if you act rude multiple times.

I agree, if I were running a barn or even looking for a leaser for my horse, I would not want to deal with someone who has demonstrated your behavior.

And at this point, even if you lived local to me, I wouldn’t give you any references.

[poltroon]

@KingRocker4Life

Yesh. I dont require an exchange- I just want to help out and learn. I will pay if I have to. And I will look places up that you all give me before I go there. I am not stupid.

It is a mistake to think that someone replying to you giving you information thinks that you are stupid, and a bigger one to react angrily. All the advice here has been kind in intent with the intent to help you find your way. The truth is no one knows you and no one knows what you know. We all know kids (and adults) who have come to grief due to lack of really simple bits of information. What you are seeing here is a desire to paint a full picture for you and also for anyone else reading this thread. The responses here are not just about you; this is not a private conversation. Someone with the same question may be reading it now or a year from now.

I can appreciate that it doesn’t always feel kind or helpful.

One of the most important things that I learned from riding, rather the hard way sometimes, was to listen to people and take what I could, even from the ones who didn’t convey it in the way I wanted. I have to sort it in the end - was it good advice or not - and it’s not always. But, many gems of information came that way to me. The best way to get help and advice is to show appreciation for the help and advice that you get - that’s IME how more and better mentoring and experiences will come your way. If a situation doesn’t work out for you, simply say thank you, and just don’t go back to that person.

On an online forum, you don’t have to reply to anyone you don’t want to.

One of the reasons that 14 year olds don’t always show up on time is that they don’t tend to control their lives or their transportation. Other people make them late in ways that they cannot help. It’s not necessarily about a personal character defect. So any pact along those lines has to be made not only with the teen but also with the teen’s family. When people are concerned it’s because they’ve had their trust broken by someone else.

Good luck to you.

[GoneAway]

I grew up riding in southern NH and working on farms to pay for lessons/shows even as a kid. I’ve been where you are. I probably still know people/programs up there I could recommend.

But I’ll be honest, your posts on this and other threads make me question whether or not I want to. I don’t say that to be rude or mean, I say that because at this point it’s probably best for you to consider how you come across to people, and that first impressions matter. This is a lesson you will be learning all your life, and it is nowhere near as important as it is in the horse industry. You can close a door on yourself before it’s ever even opened.

Not knowing exactly where you are, your budget, your transportation situation, etc…look at the list of trainers on the New Hampshire Hunter/Jumper Association website and start researching the farms in your area. Then make some appointments to take a lesson or go out and observe a lesson. Visit a few different farms. Find a trainer you get along with and whose program best fits you and your goals. Be polite. Be honest. Be willing to work hard. Be humble. Keep your eyes and ears open and learn. Don’t assume you “know” anything yet, just absorb as much information as you can. Do all that, and you’ll do fine.

NHHJA: https://www.nhhja.com/

[skydy]

GoneAway, I think that’s good advice. Young people mature in their own time, and a few years may make the difference here.

I was given such great opportunities by horsewomen when I was younger than the OP. However ignorant I was at 10 yrs old, I was polite and respectful.

A young teenager with such a short fuse really gives me pause. There isn’t a place for that quick trigger to anger, around people or horses.

Perhaps the Western trainer that is teaching the OP to ride English is the best person for her to ask for assistance in finding a barn that wants young help. The trainer knows the OP, so is much better equipped to make a recommendation than is anyone here.

OP, you might take the list of the New Hampshire hunter/jumper trainers from the website that GoneAway has linked to and contact them. Ask your trainer (and any other professional people you know from the barn) for a letter of recommendation, so you will have references ready.

[KingRocker4Life]

Ok scribbler, I see what your saying. Bit if being polite is an overall quality of a human being then wouldn’t it make sense to not just judge me on what I am posting here but in person as well? For all you know I might act completely different.

[KingRocker4Life]

Thank you poltroon.

[Scribbler]

@KingRocker4Life

Ok scribbler, I see what your saying. Bit if being polite is an overall quality of a human being then wouldn’t it make sense to not just judge me on what I am posting here but in person as well? For all you know I might act completely different.

All I am ever going to know about you, I know from your words on this forum. We are never going to meet. All I can judge you by is how you act here. That is the nature of online communication. And if you act all humble and polite in real life, but have a second persona being rude and having a short fuse online? Well, that’s kind of the definition of a troll, someone meek in real life that gets their kicks being rude and aggressive online. Not a very nice thing to be.

In other words, your online behavior is just as true an indication of your personality as your behavior iIRL. It’s still part of you. You do it voluntarily. Indeed, a lot of peolple’s true colors come out when they can let loose anonymously online.

So no, I don’t think that if you are polite IRL but rude online, that somehow makes you a polite person.

It might make you two faced or a hypocrite or a keyboard warrior, but it doesn’t make you polite.

[skydy]

@KingRocker4Life

Ok scribbler, I see what your saying. Bit if being polite is an overall quality of a human being then wouldn’t it make sense to not just judge me on what I am posting here but in person as well? For all you know I might act completely different.

There is a saying: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”.

We don’t know you “in person”.

Present yourself in writing as you want to be seen. In the real world you will have to send resumes and communicate in writing. Saying that you might “act completely different” than you behave in writing, will not get you anywhere in the real world.

You are young. We’ve all been there. If who you are is very different than the persona you project online, then you need to study and work diligently on your communication skills. :yes:

Did you say that you are home schooled or am I confusing you with another poster?

[PonyPenny]

Wow! Such bullying by the adults here. The OP made some mistakes and admitted that. Quit piling on her. OP, I hope you find an opportunity that works for you.

[skydy]

@PonyPenny

Wow! Such bullying by the adults here. The OP made some mistakes and admitted that. Quit piling on her. OP, I hope you find an opportunity that works for you.

What exactly has been said in response to the OP’s posts that you consider “bullying”?

She came here asking for help. I see people trying to explain to a 14 yr old, (who responds to most any reply to her questions in a defensive, vulgar,and aggressive manner) that if she continues with this attitude, she will have trouble finding a position in a barn. That is a fact.

There are people posting on this thread that may have been able to help, but there are plenty of kids that want to work and ride and they are polite and respectful.

I am quite certain that explaining how polite behavior is a prerequisite for employment, and that if you are angry and impulsive, your chances of finding a position working at a barn are almost nil, does not equate to “bullying”.

Adolescence is not an easy time, but youth is not an excuse for being rude.

Letters of reference from the people who know her are her best bet .That is reality, not “bullying”.

I think we all hope that the OP finds a place to work and learn.

[KingRocker4Life]

@Skyday in response to your question, yes I am homeschooled.

[Arlomine]

PonyPenny, We live in a world where the internet provides intersections of worlds that didn’t exist thirty years ago.

Kids can leap into adult worlds online. Sometimes this is a fruitful way to make connections that were nearly impossible in the past.
However, it’s also going to be at times bumpy.

There is online culture, just like in-person culture. This culture (like in person) doesn’t enjoy rudeness, or defensiveness. It’s reasonable to call someone out if their language is culturally inappropriate. If a fourteen year old said to my face some of the things that were said here, I would ask that they and their adult companion leave my property immediately.

I do do not think it unreasonable to establish expectations of language and deportment in a productive online conversation.

Many of us (myself included) were teens with some attitude. It didn’t serve us well, and we are now being asked for opinions by someone like we used to be.
Helpfulness isn’t always presented In a comfortable, sweet package.

I think its its unrealistic to expect that the people who have been asked to help the OP by providing information, should ignore the “flavor” of the response by the OP.