Can I ride your horse?

[rainechyldes]

I’ve been asked countless times - and it gets tedious, but I still (rocks in my head I guess) patiently explain that even if you’ve ridden before, my horses aren’t pleasure horses, they aren’t beginner or novice friendly.
Course every once in awhile that launches the 'oh but I once rode this horse that… (insert whatever nasty behaviour here) therefore your horse won’t scare me.

Then I sigh… and say - not worried about you, worried about my horse (course… that usually ends the conversation - and sadly sometimes the budding friendship.)

[Long_Spot]

I usually just tell them my prices for lessons, where to buy a helmet and paddock boots, and tell them to call me to schedule. I’ve even had to use this for my in laws.

The only person who didn’t get the hint was a bartender. She said “Oh, I don’t want to take lessons I just want to ride”. I asked her if she was going to give me my bar tab, because I didn’t want to buy drinks, I just wanted to drink them. That sunk in.

[WarDance]

I let a friend ride my horse once. She actually does know how to ride and we actually showed against each other years ago. I figured she would be totally fine to ride my horse. It was a green broke gelding that I was finishing to sell so I told her she could ride him in the arena and I would give her pointers about how to ride him. She completely disregarded everything I said and proceeded to get in the horse’s mouth really bad. She didn’t listen when I told her to loosen her reins and use more leg. The horse was really confused since he had only been broke for about 90 days and I tend to ride with really soft hands and loose reins on my green horses. The gelding was actually quite sweet so he kept trying to do the right thing while swishing his tail. The horse was actually a little off the next day. It was the only day I ever saw him off. It could have just been a coincidence I guess.

Oh and the funny thing is that she actually beat me on a regular basis at shows. We rode with different instructors and didn’t become friends until college. Turns out she’s really not that great of a rider…I guess her horse was push button and didn’t mind having her hang on with her hands.

[winfieldfarm]

In some circumstances, asking to ride someone’s horse is like asking to sleep with their spouse. Well, if you have such a good time with your spouse, why can’t I?

I’m very truthful to folks that ask to ride our horses. I want them to get that this is not gonna happen and why. But even more so are the offers from people or from their kids to help me TRAIN horses! Hello, this is my job and my livelihood. Why would the people who have paid me to train their horses want me to allow some unknown to do the work for me? It’s a matter of perspective that they don’t understand looking from the outside in. I am always diplomatically truthful about showing them the whole truth.

[dacasodivine]

[QUOTE=katyb;6229400]
I always say sure. My horses are safe and sane, and I’m thrilled to have more people involved with/interested in horses. I have three horses, and all can carry a newbie safely and won’t be ruined by one less than optimal ride. My only rule is that everyone who rides wears a helmet.

I also take people out on my boat, loan out my vehicles and equipment, and my friends do the same for me. I just don’t feel that possessive of what is mine.

Obviously, if my horses weren’t safe, or if I were in training for something where a minor mishap might mess it up, that would be a deal breaker.[/QUOTE]

While my horses are not crazy, they aren’t safe for the average rider. The Fox Trotter is only 5 and has his naughty moments. He also likes to go fast. If you aren’t paying attention, he will go for it. Not sure where that came from. I’m the only person that has ridden him and don’t go around racing. But he loves speed. I don’t know if he would put up with someone bouncing around either.

The Arabian does spook. It’s not bad, but a beginner probably would not have the balance to stay on.

At one time I had a horse here that anyone could ride. Not surprisingly, she wasn’t ridden often. But I can’t afford, nor want, to keep a beginner friendly horse around just in case someone wants to ride.

I would have no problem letting someone who can ride, ride either. Having beginners on either could end badly for the rider.

[snbess]

I come at this from two perspectives.

1. If I hadn’t had a family friend with horses who had taken pity on my young, horse-crazy self, I would never have had the opportunity to learn to ride as a kid. This woman allowed me to come over whenever I was able and mentored me and I ended up riding her horses from the time I was 12 until I was 26. She made a huge impact on my life and I am forever grateful.

2. My horses are not kid-friendly, easy rides. I have occasionally let kids sit on my mare, but they don’t get off the lead line…and even on the lead line, she did once decide trotting was a good idea and got herself hyped up. The kid did great, but was a bit scared.

I did allow a good friend who does know how to ride, but hadn’t in many years, ride Bess in an outdoor arena after I had already ridden. The issue is that Bess is very sensitive and tunes into nervousness. She was fine and did great at the walk work I had friend do with her. Since they were doing fine, I told her she could trot. Couldn’t get Bess to stop trotting. Thankfully, Bess is very good with voice commands and I went to the center of the circle and acted like I was lunging…told her to walk and she did.

So when I had a co-worker keep making comments about how he wanted to bring his kids to see the horse…that he loves horses…I said, yes great…come on out and you can pet her and feed her carrots. That’s not what he wanted to hear, but that was my answer each time. Several months later, we had a work function and spouses were invited. His wife decided to corner me on the topic and said they wanted to bring the kids out. I repeated my invitation to come, pet, feed. She said, no we want them to ride…we want them to appreciate horses. I had to be very firm with her and we went back and forth several times while I told her that Bess was not a kids horse…that she was an ex-racehorse and very sensitive and that I didn’t want her to scare their children. She was quite offended but got the picture.

I do wish I had a bombproof pony I could let my nieces or random friends’ kids plop around on. I value the need to give kids a start in horses. I just don’t have those kinds of horses.

[Long_Spot]

@winfieldfarm;6229598

In some circumstances, asking to ride someone’s horse is like asking to sleep with their spouse. Well, if you have such a good time with your spouse, why can’t I?

I completely agree. And it has everything to do with the way it’s asked, expected and the intent. Usually asked so casually with no interest other than a joy ride by someone with a really fancy car they would NEVER let anyone else drive.

The person who used the analogy of learning to drive a stick on someone’s Porche was right on the money too.

Of course, there are folks who ask who really do love horses and want to learn to ride and don’t really realize there are ways to do that. They are usually receptive to discussions about lessons and where they can get them.

[2DogsFarm]

When I had Vern he was my Ponyride GoTo.
I’d put the wannarides in a helmet on the longe line and usually 2min of trot was all it took for them to be happy & say “nuff”.
Those who wanted more got a longe lesson.

A nurse I worked with had a lovely natural seat but bad hands. Still she got a cantering bareback session on the longe so she could go back to the snotty Morgan peeps who had told her she needed “a Western horse” to learn on.

One (Swiss) guy I worked with actually turned out to know what he was talking about.
5min on the longe & I turned him loose to have at it.
He rode my TWH, even popped him over a couple fences in good form.

Current horse is not only B-I-G (17h+) but sensitive.
I’d have no problem telling a novice N-O even to the longe.

Bottom Line:
My horses, my decision.
No prevaricating with phony insurance/liability/crazy horse tales necessary.

[Event4Life]

[QUOTE=Trixie;6228676]
“I’m sorry, but my insurance doesn’t cover anyone but me to ride my horses.”

Ugh.[/QUOTE]

Bingo. This is what I would say.

A) It’s probably the truth.

B) Doesn’t hurt any feelings. Sometimes it’s worth a white lie for that.

Then point them to a good lesson barn, and they can pay the $25 or whatever for a lesson.

[LarkspurCO]

I let my friend FatPalomino ride my horse. I made her wear a helmet.

I figured if she fell off and got hurt, I could just shoot her and bury her.

But, she really is a good rider.

[SquishTheBunny]

I have one saint horse - thankfully. I tell them yes, you can ride Mr. Saint, but the other horse will want you in the dirt.

Mr. Saint is an OTTB, and he frequently gets trailered out to the 'burbs to give 3 year old kids a party pony. He also walks around quietly for my friends autistic child. While I cant ever be 100% he will be perfect, I do make everyone sign a liability form. I enjoy riding with friends, so as long as they understand its gotta be the horse who makes the decisions, they are good to go.

[hundredacres]

I think friends and people you have a relationship who ask, deserve some consideration if you have the insurance and your horses are safe - but seriously, I HATE it when people I just met ask. I don’t even know you and you ask something like that? Weird.

There’s a guy at my work who just started a couple of months ago and he’s already told his son he’s bringing him over to ride the horses at my farm. After about the 3rd time bringing it up (I tried to change the subject each time) I asked how big his son is and he said 65 pound. Perfect! I have a Shetland that I can let him ride and that will be the end of that. But nooooo, he says, “He doesn’t want to ride a little pony. He wants to ride a big HORSEY” (he said “horsey”)…so it was easy enough to say, sorry. I won’t put him on one - even though I have a couple who be perfectly fine, it just irritated the crap out of me.

This same guy showed up uninvited on a game night at another coworker’s, and plopped his butt in a recliner after handing her a package of raw ribs to cook. I really don’t want him at my place!

We have a private lake so we get this ALL of the time from fisherman. People we don’t even know will come to the door and ask if they can fish - in our backyard. And it’s the same thing from hunters asking to hunt our woods. It’s just strange to me.

[msj]

[QUOTE=Trixie;6228676]
“I’m sorry, but my insurance doesn’t cover anyone but me to ride my horses.”

Ugh.[/QUOTE]

^This.

I used to tell anyone that they would have to pay the commercial equine liability insurance and a my Umbrella insurance policy as well!

Now I simply say the horses are retired and lame.

[pAin_t_Misbehavin]

Those of you who have horses that anyone can come ride - how do you manage that?

I barely have time to keep one horse ridden down. I can’t imagine keeping two ridden often enough so that someone could drop by and go riding. At least not a relatively inexperienced someone.

Anyway, two of my three horses actually are retired and can’t be ridden. That leaves one for me to ride. Anybody else needs to byoh.

I’ve had someone volunteer my horse for someone else (whom neither of us had ever seen on a horse) to ride!:eek: This person was going riding and thought it’d be fine for her friend to come pick up my horse and go riding with her! I think that takes the prize for cheek.:yes: I was so shocked I didn’t have time to wonder how to respond. “Oh hell no” just popped right out of my mouth.:lol:

[Valentina_32926]

@tnscvaga;6228808

This. It’s an easy answer and the truth. Most people completely understand. In fact sometimes you can see the light bulb and then the, “oh yeah I never thought of that”. I then suggest a couple of local lesson barns especially if it’s a parent asking for kid.

This^ Plus show them a catalog with a $500 helmet on it and tell them helmet must be SEI certified, etc…, costs a bunch and MUST fit wearer exactly, so after they buy a helmet and prove it is certified, etc and you see them ride another horse you MIGHT consider it…

[Bluey]

Here is one of those videos on this topic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xstN2YCZsnk&feature=related

[cholmberg]

simple. I used to get this question all. the. time. at work.
you tell them they’ll need to sign a waiver of responsibility
in case they are injured or killed absolving you of responsibility.

that tends to put the skids on it really fast. If they persist
and say the WILL sign said waiver, I’d tell them that they
have to wear a helmet and will be kept on the long line
until I think they ride well enough to be let OFF the long
line. that takes care of the rest.

if it was someone I had to work with every day and
the weren’t too dense, I’d explain that riding horses
entailed more than simply not falling off. . . and that
mine were pretty unforgiving of novices (they were all
pretty young at the time)

[BarbB]

There is a big difference between letting someone ride your horse and total strangers coming up and asking to ride your horse.
I gave a couple of friends beginner lessons on my previous horse, who was reminiscent of a runaway freight train while on course, but quiet and very responsive to verbal commands at the walk trot and canter. He was a great horse for a couple of my friends who hadn’t ridden in many many years to spend some time with a horse. They had more fun grooming and tacking him up.
I also let some of the kids (who were good riders) hack him when I couldn’t get to the barn. He was very obedient for anyone who acted like they knew what they were doing.
That it totally different from letting someone that you know nothing about jump on your horse.
As a kid I also was at the mercy of generous horse owners for rides - but I never, never asked or assumed and worked my a$$ off doing chores to pay for my rides.

[TheJenners]

I have a friendly acquaintance who has brought it up several times. She said she has ridden a lot, and mentioned a barn in the area and said she rode the owner’s dressage horses. Etc etc ad nauseum. When she first started, I had a pony mare and this woman is TALL. So I had a handy no. She asked about riding then-SO’s horse, and I said no, she is his rodeo horse and he doesn’t let anyone ride her (true).

Now I don’t have the pony mare but a three-year-old WB gelding. She still drops the “I miss riding, I would love to go, I should come to the barn with you!” stuff a lot. She apparently has friends or family with horses and posted pictures on FB. Dear…lord…never!! Ever! Mouth-hanging and/or hands chest high and heels clamped into sides and just horrible. At least she was wearing a helmet, but no. Neither of our two broke horses would tolerate that even if DH would let her ride them (no), and certainly not any time soon on my baby. The photo captions were all about the horses being “naughty” and her training them.

[RainDancer]

Tell them to bring a liability waver from THEIR insurance company, signed by THEIR agent. Sometimes the insurance thing doesn’t work because, in their mind, they are such a great rider they won’t get hurt. Their insurance may see things differently. 100% success rate. Simply signing your waiver doesn’t always work because it would most likely be their insurance going after you to recoup money.