Can I ride your horse?

[Gray_Horse_H_J]

I haven’t been asked too often if someone can come ride, just a few times.

A coworker at an old job asked me once. I said, “Sorry no.” and changed the subject. She never asked again, but she also didn’t talk to me much after that. Guess she thought my answer was rude.

I’ve never had a total stranger ask. Honestly, if a stranger came up to me at the store or the gas station or something and asked to come ride my horse, I wouldn’t care how rude I sounded saying no.

My horse is actually quite easy to ride, and you don’t have to be Joe Rider to do it either. :lol: He’s sensitive to your leg, though. If a beginner accidentally kicked, he’d go. He wouldn’t go very fast, but he’d go. The minute you sit down in the tack and pull on the reins, he’ll stop. But a beginner doesn’t know how to do that, and my horse isn’t going to stop when someone is clutching the reins/neck/mane and screeching.

If someone asked me to ride, and I knew they were fairly competant at the WTC, then I’d probably let them. If I like them. Basically as long as I know they aren’t going to pound on his back or yank on his face, I’d be okay with it.

I let a family friend’s 8 year old sit on him and I led her around. She really wanted to trot but I was just too hesitant to let her. She’s a tiny thing, her legs didn’t even come past my saddle flap, and I just didn’t feel comfortable letting her. My mom gave her a gift cert for a free lesson for Christmas, so I’m hoping the parents have her come for lessons soon. She’s a darling kid, I’ll be happy to have her sit on my horse again once she’s had some lessons under her belt.

[ThoroughbredFancy]

I usually write up some crazy waiver that deems me not liable for what happens once they’re on the horse and tell them they must sign in their own blood.

Seems to do the trick.

I’m just kidding. :winkgrin:

[klmck63]

Last week a near-stranger asked me if I let other people come and ride my horses, and I said no. She replied that it “wasn’t very nice of me not to share with other people” :eek:.

I don’t understand why people who own horses, pools, etc. are expected to share their private property with others, when said “others” would be horrified if asked to share their car, house, backyard, computer, etc. etc.

Rather than say all of the very rude things I was thinking I replied that they were horses in training for competition and very unsafe for beginners. She said she knew how to ride (in a tone that suggested I was being unreasonable:mad:), but left the conversation there.

[valkyrie36]

Last summer I took a quick hack around the neighborhood. It’s a rural area but there are some houses we pass. One house sits quite close to the road. There is an obnoxious rock garden in front with about 100 whirlygig things, flags, etc. My horse always spooks ten feet sideways when we go by. Imagine my surprise when my horse is snorting and dancing around as we pass that house and a man jumps up off the front porch and hollers for me to “Wait!” I didn’t even slow down, but he comes rushing out the front door with a baby–maybe a year old–in nothing but a diaper. I’m thinking he wants to let the baby touch the horse. I’m not exactly thrilled but I stop my horse to say hello. The man comes right up to me and starts hoisting this baby up into the saddle to sit in front of me!!! :eek: I was so shocked I didn’t even know what to say but the baby saved the day by screaming his head off and clenching his legs together. He didn’t want near my horse any more than I wanted him near my horse. I said something like, “wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway.”

Now every time I go by that house we go at a fast pace. We do not stop. We do not wave. We do not make eye contact. I’m still beyond stunned that someone would try to put a baby on a horse that he didn’t know AND without asking first. UNREAL.

[abbbalonian_twist]

[QUOTE=valkyrie36;6229858]
Last summer I took a quick hack around the neighborhood. It’s a rural area but there are some houses we pass. One house sits quite close to the road. There is an obnoxious rock garden in front with about 100 whirlygig things, flags, etc. My horse always spooks ten feet sideways when we go by. Imagine my surprise when my horse is snorting and dancing around as we pass that house and a man jumps up off the front porch and hollers for me to “Wait!” I didn’t even slow down, but he comes rushing out the front door with a baby–maybe a year old–in nothing but a diaper. I’m thinking he wants to let the baby touch the horse. I’m not exactly thrilled but I stop my horse to say hello. The man comes right up to me and starts hoisting this baby up into the saddle to sit in front of me!!! :eek: I was so shocked I didn’t even know what to say but the baby saved the day by screaming his head off and clenching his legs together. He didn’t want near my horse any more than I wanted him near my horse. I said something like, “wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway.”

Now every time I go by that house we go at a fast pace. We do not stop. We do not wave. We do not make eye contact. I’m still beyond stunned that someone would try to put a baby on a horse that he didn’t know AND without asking first. UNREAL.[/QUOTE]

^^^YIKES:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Personally I haven’t been asked by anyone if they could ride my horse, but when in doubt, my personal philosophy on the matter:

Just say neigh :winkgrin:

[katyb]

[QUOTE=pAin’t_Misbehavin’;6229687]
Those of you who have horses that anyone can come ride - how do you manage that?

I barely have time to keep one horse ridden down. I can’t imagine keeping two ridden often enough so that someone could drop by and go riding. At least not a relatively inexperienced someone.

Anyway, two of my three horses actually are retired and can’t be ridden. That leaves one for me to ride. Anybody else needs to byoh.

I’ve had someone volunteer my horse for someone else (whom neither of us had ever seen on a horse) to ride!:eek: This person was going riding and thought it’d be fine for her friend to come pick up my horse and go riding with her! I think that takes the prize for cheek.:yes: I was so shocked I didn’t have time to wonder how to respond. “Oh hell no” just popped right out of my mouth.:lol:[/QUOTE

How did I manage? Lots of luck and maybe smart shopping. My criteria when horse shopping revolves around a non-reactive but forward horse. My horse, Jet, has a ton of go, but she is manageable by virtually anyone. I’ve taken at least a half dozen non-riders out on real trail rides (many several hours and mountain terrain, not around the pasture or down the street) this year without any problems. The only person I won’t put on one of my horses is someone who is really afraid. I think kids (my son is 12, so they are in that age range) are better listeners than adults, and will do as they are told most of the time. My horses do get ridden quite a bit, but if they are off 2-3-4 weeks, there is no change in their behavior. Maybe I am just ridiculously lucky, or I’m a really great trainer, or horses are just easier than people think. I don’t know. My horses live at home, so they are very involved in the day to day goings on, which I think does keep them pretty relaxed and easy.

[katyb]

Just adding - I haven’t had total strangers ask to ride. You can’t see our house from anywhere, as we live on a private road, so I don’t guess any strangers would know I have horses. People at work, kids’ friends, whatever? I’m happy to let them have a try. If some random person showed up on my doorstep (unlikely, I have a very protective - okay, kind of mean to strangers - dog), I wouldn’t let them ride, obviously.

[Hampton_Bay]

I totally forgot about this one until the story above with the baby. But my ex-BIL, the drug addict, once asked if I would teach his 4-yo daughter to ride on my horses. OK, one of them is nuts, and two are babies. His wife is a paralegal and a total witch. They were separated at the time.

It totally caught me off guard and I said “ain’t gonna happen” and went on with my business. I later explained why, and he said he understood.

And then he went on to badmouth me to everyone who would listen. Ex-MIL acted like I was the bad person too of course.

Don’t regret that decision for a second, and am very glad they are now “ex”.

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=Hampton Bay;6229930]
I totally forgot about this one until the story above with the baby. But my ex-BIL, the drug addict, once asked if I would teach his 4-yo daughter to ride on my horses. OK, one of them is nuts, and two are babies. His wife is a paralegal and a total witch. They were separated at the time.

It totally caught me off guard and I said “ain’t gonna happen” and went on with my business. I later explained why, and he said he understood.

And then he went on to badmouth me to everyone who would listen. Ex-MIL acted like I was the bad person too of course.

Don’t regret that decision for a second, and am very glad they are now “ex”.[/QUOTE]

When you tell someone that asks for something “no”, you then become the bad person, no matter how many reasons you may have had, or not need any reasons to say “no”.
When some ask, it is immediate moral blackmail, that is why so many give in, trying to be nice, even if grumblingly so.

It is the few classy people that would not have asked to start with, but really felt it was ok, that then understand you have your reasons and don’t hold that “no” against you as a personal offense to them.

That tends to hold true with anything, not just horses.

[anon68314200]

[QUOTE=paulaedwina;6228780]
Someone asked me if she could ride my horse. I asked her if she could ride and she said no. I was really subtle about it.

“BWHAHAHAHAHA, girl, that’s like asking someone to teach you to drive stick on their Porche!”

She understood and laughed.

Paula[/QUOTE]

Excellent!

[Huntertwo]

@HPFarmette;6228642

Sometimes I avoid talking about my horse life in certain settings. I guess you can’t always do that.

Exactly! Many years ago at work, I brought it up that I had a horse and everyone and their Uncle wanted to come to the barn to ride…

Sorry, don’t have liability insurance to cover it. Problem solved.

[Heinz_57]

My SO has a coworker that is absolutely insistent that he is going to come out and ride, and bring his ~4 year old daughter with him. 'Cuz, y’know, she’s never been on a horse but she’d just be a natural and he’s sure she would be just fine on my 16h old man that drags ME around. The first time he brought it up, I’d just met him about an hour prior, and I sort of dithered here and there and gave the ‘oh, I don’t know…’ answer.

He brought it up again a few minutes later. But REALLY, I REALLY want to come out and ride your horses. So I mentioned that SO’s and my schedules rarely coincide and that I’m very busy, so he says OH, I really don’t need him to be there, I just want to ride the horses, I really like riding even though I haven’t done it in a long time.

And, of course, my SO is over there nodding away and asking me ‘don’t you think the old man would be fine with the little girl? I can ride him, so she should be fine…’. Same SO that thinks I should let him ride my [hot, hot, hot] show horse. Because he’s cool looking.

Such an AWKWARD situation, and no way for me to refuse without looking like a snobby b!tch. I’ve tried the ‘show horse’ excuse (Oh, but I know how to ride, c’mon!).

I frequently resort to lying about the horse(s) soundness. He’s lame, he’s sick, etc.

[dressagetraks]

Conversation between myself and a coworker during a brief period years ago when I had a job at Walmart to supplement things for a while:

Coworker (male, whom I had known for all of a week at this job, nowhere else): So you have horses?

Me: Yes.

Coworker: I need to come ride them sometime. (He NEEDS to come ride them sometime? :no:)

Me: No. I’m sorry, but I never let anyone else ride my horses. (Actually, I have a few times, but only people I lessoned with, my trainer, people I already KNEW how they rode.)

Coworker: Why not?

Me: It’s a liability issue.

Coworker: But I’m not going to fall off and get hurt.

Me: Nobody ever plans to fall off, but it does happen sometimes even to experienced people on good horses.

Coworker: Nope. I have NEVER fallen off a horse in my life. People who fall off just didn’t know how to ride. You show the horse he’s boss, and that settles it. They just need a few rounds with somebody who knows what he’s doing. So, when can I come out to ride? :eek::eek::eek::eek:

Me, losing it: NO! I wouldn’t let you on them for a thousand dollars. You. May. Not. Ride. MY. Horses. Understand? Forget about it.

Coworker: Jeez, no reason to get all touchy about it. You could have just said no. (Coworker stalks off offended at my rudeness)

:sigh::rolleyes:

[cowgirljenn]

@spotmenow;6229327

If someone was going on and on about how they LOVE their large, inground pool and just had a GREAT swim in it and you said “Oh, I’ll have to come over and have a swim some weekend, maybe bring my husband and children as well because they like to swim too” people would be aghast at the rudeness of inviting yourself over.

We’ve had a couple of people ask if they could come swim. We end up throwing a couple of pool parties a year so people can come swim.

I wish I had a beginner safe/friendly horse. The one i do own has been loaned out to a Special Olympics program, so I really don’t have anyone safe for the average beginner to ride. I wouldn’t mind sharing if I did, but I think I’ve only been asked about riding three times. Once was by a family member who was rather insistent, and that DID annoy me as she knows how much work goes into the horses. When I said I would give her kids lessons if they came and worked with the horses first on the ground and helped with chores, she got mad. Oh well…

[Eleanor]

I don’t get asked if people can ride that often, but when I do I just tell them that they are $30,000. show horses and I know they would feel really bad if anything happened to them wail they where riding.

I found if you put a value on something people look at it differently.

[Long_Spot]

[QUOTE=dressagetraks;6229988]

Coworker: Jeez, no reason to get all touchy about it. You could have just said no. (Coworker stalks off offended at my rudeness)

:sigh::rolleyes:[/QUOTE]

How dare you be so calloused? :lol:

I think as horse owners, we are all used to the 2 scenarios we always here from non horsie folks when they find out we ride.

1. Oh, I rode a horse once when I was younger at camp/a trail ride/ a friends horse. It bucked me off/bit me/kicked me. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I hate horses. They are stupid.

OR

2. Oh, I love to ride. I’m a great rider and I’d love to ride again. When asked if they owned a horse or took lessons the response is usually Oh, no, I used to go to a dude ranch once every three years/have my girl scout badge in riding/ had an Uncle with an old horse I’d sit on when I go visit.

I’ve decided as much as my eye rolley muscles hurt from hearing scenario 1, and as hard as I have to bite my tongue to get to the bottom of what they did to the poor horse to get what they got, I’ll take scenario 1 any day. Those folks aren’t the ones who ask you if they can come ride.

P.S. Beware, they probably are the folks who will ask you if you get some sort of…untoward “satisfaction” from riding and if the horse has replaced your boyfriend/husband/significant other.

[AnEnglishRider]

I had a friend slip it into the conversation once… “Hey, I could lunge horse for you while you’re gone on winter break if you want.” me: “yeah, sure, that sounds great, just lunge him in the old nylon halter.” her: “I could lunge him in the side reins.” me: “Nope, you know I don’t use those except once every few months. Just the halter.” her: “ok… Maybe I’ll sit on him a couple times too.” me: “no you will not. I am taking my saddle home with me.” her: “I bet my saddle would fit him.” me: “No. I’m sure it would but I don’t want him ridden when I’m not there.” her: “But you let so and so ride him! And she’s not a very good rider!” me: “Yes, because so and so is a good friend, I was there, and I rode him before I let her get on to make sure he was behaving.”

Funny thing is, the person who was trying to convince me to let her ride my horse was a fellow boarder and friend… Other friend might not be about to win an equitation class, but she’s got a good seat and rides with a nice loop in the reins. I had seen this boarder rip on her mares face many times and I was afraid she would get on him while I was gone and think “I’m going to fix this horse and then AER will be soooooo happy with me!” and get rough with him. And if she did that horse would give whatever he got right back, in the form of freaking out and bucking.

The other boarder used to have me exercise her horse all the time when she couldn’t and I guess for some reason that translated to her as I should let her ride my horse… But there’s a huge difference between her been there done that mare and my 7yo OTTB who came to me with a mild bucking problem.

[Jane_Honda]

When I got my first OTTB, I was teaching at a college. One of the students said she was going to come out and ride him. I only said “You are not.”

Firm.

Nobody gets to come out and ride my horse. I will offer it if I know you can ride, and only sometimes. My horse is mine. I pay her bills, I work too hard and have done much with her to have it destroyed in 10 minutes by some idiot that has been on a rental string and has watched spaghetti westerns…

I just tell people no. I don’t owe them an explanation. They don’t owe me a drive in their fancy car with a reason why not. (I would never ask.)

Stoopidity and lack of common courtesy is an epidemic that I don’t want to be stuck paying for.

[ohrebecca]

FWIW, I’ve had 3 friends/acquaintances who actually did ride when they were younger, and I don’t recall them ever asking to go riding!

The most recent ones who have asked are: a guy I worked with for six months - and he is a BIG guy, and I don’t think my 15.1 mare would be totally happy with that! a guy at my other job with two small kids, and my friend’s girlfriend who I’D NEVER MET who left a post on my facebook saying “I want to come riding!” Whoaaaaaaa, Nelly! Slow your roll, there, kid. The first guy, and the friend’s gf happened to ask within a day of each other (which made me tear my hair out, because when it rains, it pours), and luckily there was a Groupon for a lesson package at a local barn going on then, so I linked to it on FB, tagged the guy and my friend’s gf, and said “hey look! This would be a great idea for you to get into riding!” Aaaaaaaand they haven’t mentioned it since It’s all well and good until you throw the “this costs money!” card on the table, and then they’re pretty quick to let it go. For the guy with kids, I had to play the crazy-horse card, though.

[Far_North_Equestrian]

@katyb;6229400

I always say sure. My horses are safe and sane, and I’m thrilled to have more people involved with/interested in horses. I have three horses, and all can carry a newbie safely and won’t be ruined by one less than optimal ride. My only rule is that everyone who rides wears a helmet.

THANK YOU!

I generally can’t get enough of letting my friends ride. I’d never let them without me present, but they can absolutely come ride! Unless they’re too big for the 13.h pony of course.

Unfortunately my new barn has liability concerns - so I’m not allowed to give my friend’s kids lessons anymore, which kindof bums me out a little. But I’m still allowed to let my adult friends who know how ride him!

One thing I’ll do if it’s a total newbie that wants to say go trail riding is i’ll offer to take them somewhere that does guided rides.