OMG…the FB mentions totally reminded me that my first boyfriend, who I am friends with on FB now but haven’t seen in 25 YEARS, once messaged me and asked if he and his new wife could come and ride. They live in FL, I live in NE IN (think, Michigan)…ummmmm…no. I told him mine were all fosters off the track (it was a half truth, 2 of the 5 were) and anyway, FL is overflowing with good places to ride. Just google it! He never brought it up again. It was SO bizarre.
I’ve had plenty of friends come and ride my horse and several coworkers as well.
I am more than happy to teach them how to saddle, bridle, brush, etc and have them on a lead rope for the first while. Sometimes they get off rope and I have a horse that likes the beginners since it means that it’s easy work and consists mostly of walking in random lines and circles.
I figure if it gets someone else interested in riding and horses, then good for the industry.
I also have had neighbors, etc come out and visit (my horses are boarded) to see my filly when she was a young suckling and a big ham. They loved to pet the “baby”, etc and liked seeing her run and frolic and take photos. Worked for me.
Good exposure and the horses seem to enjoy it. Plus, I feel that it’s good for breed image as I own (gasp) wild, crazy Arabians, haha.
I have my horses now at a small lesson barn, so it’s easy to pass people off that want to learn more about riding. 
When I had just one horse that I kept at a boarding barn, my BOSS would repeatedly ask me if he could go out and “borrow” one of the other horses there so he could go trail riding. I explained that no, those horses are privately owned by other people. But he just didn’t get it. Kept asking how much it would cost to rent a couple of them. I attempted to explain this was not a dude ranch, this was a barn where people kept their own horses. Still didn’t get it. Finally I used the analogy of a parking garage. You can’t just waltz into a parking garage and borrow someone’s car, right? THen it seemed to click. But a year later he would forget and ask again. head desk
Now that I board my horses at home, I only get the occaisional random request. I simply say that my big 2 horses buck and bite and will try to kill you. (This is actually marginally true for one of them.) But if you weigh less than 80 lbs, you can ride my 10.2h Shetland pony. I am very happy to give kids pony rides - he is great on the lunge line and in the round pen. My daughters are 8, 4, and 2, and we actually got the pony specifically so that I could have something safe and could say “yes” to “Can we ride a horse???” A very kind, tolerant soul, that pony is worth his weight in gold!
Perfect timing, as I have no idea how to dodge this bullet:
Several months ago, back in IL, Horse was kept on huuuuge pasture, 1lb RB/day. Very lazy, not being worked regularly, etc. Sensitive, looky horse. Doesn’t spook, but can be hot on the ground, especially when wound up. My niece (only one I got!) LOVES horses, and I promised I’d let her ride him. She went to the barn with me, I strapped a helmet on her, used the Lil’ Dudes stirrups on my western saddle, and we walked circles in the machine shed. Horse was a saint, she loved it, we got pictures. Picture go on facebook.
Fast forward 6 months. Horse is now in SoCal, a little more fiery than previously. Horse is now in regular work. DH tells his good friend about my horse habit, no big deal. DH’s Friend mentions “Oh! My son loves horses!” Uhoh.
Now, Friend & Wife, plus 2 small boys want to come down for the weekend. Well, sure! I mean, our dogs aren’t kid-friendly and neither is our house, but we’ll make it work. Friend’s Wife mentions Son would LOVE to meet your horse! Can he sit on him?!
She’s seen the pictures of my niece on Horse. I really don’t want to offend them, but am NOT comfortable putting their wiggling, squirming 4yr old on my horse and walking him around the round pen. But I feel like I can’t use the “sorry, he’s not safe!” route since there ARE pictures of a child on him.
I think the liability reason is the way to go…
Ive had friends ask to borrow my horse while im pregnant, since im not riding anyways… Uhm, no, I dont think so! Nobody rides my horse but me
Which is exactly what I tell people who ask… No explanation needed.
On a side note… if I don’t let friends/family ride my horse because of “liability”, how can I let random strangers ride my horse if I’m selling it? Does that put it in a different category if it goes to court, or is this just a good excuse for saying ‘no’?
I’ve let several family members and a neighbor’s kid ride our horses, and the scariest moment of all was when someone came to try a horse we were selling… the mom was supposedly a riding teacher, the daughter was supposedly getting ready to do 3’ classes. The daughter had no seat and I really thought we were going to lose her at the gentle canter the horse was doing. To hold on she started gripping with her legs and the horse (an OTTB… 6 years off the track and very docile) started going quite a bit faster and the girl was screaming… and well you get the picture :eek:
Maybe it’s because when we’re little kids we’re always told to share everything. Some of us grow out of that and some of us don’t. I teach high school and it amazes me how some kids think that they have a right to “share” or really “have” everything that anyone brings in to school (including me). If they see a kid with a pack of gum they will all bear down with a “give me a piece” until the kid’s gum pack is empty. If the kid says no, maybe lies and says they are out, the other kids will harass them with “I know you have more, I saw the pack.” Yes I intervene (sometimes I wonder why I just didn’t teach elementary school, the kids are probably more mature) to “protect” the owner of whatever it is from the greedy beggars but obviously it still goes on between classes and at lunch and stuff. I know gum is a far stretch from riding someone else’s horse but the basic attitude is the same “You have something that I don’t, so you should share.” Actually that sounds a lot like a political argument.
I was once pressured into letting a family friend’s grandson ride a horse of mine. I was reassured - don’t worry, he can ride! I was 14 at the time and evidently quite stupid and gullible, so I put him on my very dear and well schooled youngster.
The kid could ride, but he rode polo-crosse. He jerked poor Boo in the face and kicked his guts, and Boo responded by going off in a very swift canter and jumping out of the arena. Kid hit dust. 
Wasn’t my fault, but I did learn. And luckily I didn’t live in a litigious country! We then went and found a suitable pony (luckily there was one) and let him have a ride in the lunge arena.
[QUOTE=LauraKY;6228768]
No is a complete sentence.[/QUOTE]
I agree.
Why beat around the bush?
“I’m sorry, but I don’t really let other people ride my horses.”
“But…”
“Sorry about that. I can give you a couple of places you might want to try who do have horses for hire. Thanks for understanding!”
Switch the word “pet and touch” for “come and ride” and you basically have an entire COTH thread berating those who don’t like random people petting their horses whenever they feel like it without asking.
[QUOTE=oldpony66;6230734]
On a side note… if I don’t let friends/family ride my horse because of “liability”, how can I let random strangers ride my horse if I’m selling it? Does that put it in a different category if it goes to court, or is this just a good excuse for saying ‘no’?
I’ve let several family members and a neighbor’s kid ride our horses, and the scariest moment of all was when someone came to try a horse we were selling… the mom was supposedly a riding teacher, the daughter was supposedly getting ready to do 3’ classes. The daughter had no seat and I really thought we were going to lose her at the gentle canter the horse was doing. To hold on she started gripping with her legs and the horse (an OTTB… 6 years off the track and very docile) started going quite a bit faster and the girl was screaming… and well you get the picture :eek:
Maybe it’s because when we’re little kids we’re always told to share everything. Some of us grow out of that and some of us don’t. I teach high school and it amazes me how some kids think that they have a right to “share” or really “have” everything that anyone brings in to school (including me). If they see a kid with a pack of gum they will all bear down with a “give me a piece” until the kid’s gum pack is empty. If the kid says no, maybe lies and says they are out, the other kids will harass them with “I know you have more, I saw the pack.” Yes I intervene (sometimes I wonder why I just didn’t teach elementary school, the kids are probably more mature) to “protect” the owner of whatever it is from the greedy beggars but obviously it still goes on between classes and at lunch and stuff. I know gum is a far stretch from riding someone else’s horse but the basic attitude is the same “You have something that I don’t, so you should share.” Actually that sounds a lot like a political argument.[/QUOTE]
Interesting that you mentioned that. SIL taught HS art for 25 years and she is in to “borrowing”. Borrowing has 4 parts.
1.) Ask permission
2.) Take item
3.) Return item
4.) Thank owner.
She shortens it to #2.
I caught her walking out of my house with a tray once. I asked her what she was doing and she said “Well it looks like something I would have bought”
See, I do not have a problem with people asking.
The problems only come in when they do not accept a polite response.
We have had strangers stop and ask if they can hunt our land. We tell them No and all have been polite. (We have already given permission to a friend to hunt our land.)
You never know if you do not ask.
I’ll never understand why a simple “No, I’m sorry but that’s just not possible” - repeated as many times as necessary, isn’t enough. Cite liability or horse’s unsuitablity if you must, but going into lengthy stories about the horses being crazy killers, yadayadayada shouldn’t be necessary, and is sort of childish.
Y’all are SO mean. :winkgrin:
Funny, I’ve had countless relatives, co-workers, and friends over the years SAY they want to come out and ride. Since, I enjoy sharing my love of horses, I tell them “Anytime, please!”. Whether, it’s just leading them around , turning them loose in the roundpen or indoor (on a lunge line, if needed), I don’t have a problem with it…my horses are pretty solid citizens. I think I’ve had a total of TWO people actually come out, never heard another word from the rest. Sort of disappointing for me, as I would enjoy the company…and am well insured.
Now, there’s no way I would allow a total strange to ride, and I did say “no” to an old supervisor’s methhead daughter and boyfriend who asked. That was mainly because I didn’t want them to know where I lived…and rob me blind. 
[QUOTE=trubandloki;6230885]
See, I do not have a problem with people asking.
The problems only come in when they do not accept a polite response.
We have had strangers stop and ask if they can hunt our land. We tell them No and all have been polite. (We have already given permission to a friend to hunt our land.)
You never know if you do not ask.[/QUOTE]
True - I’m always polite and I’ve never had anyone say anything rude to me. And I suppose some people DO want their woods hunted so it’s certainly a good question.
But it reminds me of yet another(!) situation: one winter morning we look out the window to see someone ice fishing on our lake. My husband goes down there and asks the guy what he’s doing and he says, “I’m fishing!”…my husband asks who gave him permission and he says, “I own Jim’s Pizza”. That was his answer! My husband told him he owns the lake and we can’t have people out on the ice. He should have told him his pizza sucks (it does) so he doesn’t get to fish ;).
I don’t mind people asking, and they do get a polite refusal. The first few times in the same conversation. Unfortunately - back to childraising philosophies nowadays? - there is an amazing percentage of the population who truly does not understand the word no.
[QUOTE=pAin’t_Misbehavin’;6229687]
Those of you who have horses that anyone can come ride - how do you manage that?
I barely have time to keep one horse ridden down. I can’t imagine keeping two ridden often enough so that someone could drop by and go riding. At least not a relatively inexperienced someone.
/QUOTE]
Actually, I had one of those horses that was just “born broke.” Maybe the first six months I owned him, he did a few mild shies. After that, unflappable and kind, the kind that would shift over and “catch” you if you lost your balance. I owned him from age 4 until he had to be euthanized at 24.
I once actually invited a workmate out to ride. She hadn’t ridden since she was a child, but she was quite athletic (windsurfer, among other things). I saddled up Old Reliable, had arranged for myself to borrow a fellow-boarder’s equally “old reliable,” and we had a nice trail ride. She was thrilled and we took a picture she sent to her elderly mother.
The horse I have now, the standard answer is “I don’t have insurance that would cover you getting hurt. He is not a beginner’s horse.” Fortunately, most of the people I know who ask about riding acknowledge they are beginners, and that is enough for them to realize they can’t ride my horse. I think the day I walked (limped) into work with a knee that later required fluid to be drained also ended any requests to ride my present horse. LOL
ETA: Example of how kind this horse was: After 8 months of hand walking him for fracture, once he was cleared to return to work, I was able to get on him the first day and ride him in a halter (w/saddle) and he acted as if he’d been ridden the day before. A Saint.
I haven’t read all the responses.
I don’t understand why people get so hot under the collar about someone asking to come and ride their horse. What is the problem with just saying no? Why are people so embarrassed to say no and end up being angry at the requestor because they feel put in a position where they have to say no?
They are merely asking a question which should be responded to, and for many people, that response should be something along the lines that many of the responses here are.
Likewise, I rarely ever let someone else ride my horse. My response has always just been “I’m sorry, I just don’t let anyone else ride my horse”.
[QUOTE=dacasodivine;6228636]
And while I’m on the semi rant, why do people think it’s okay to come ride your horse? They don’t ask if they can come play with your new dog or drive your car.[/QUOTE]
Because your car is not something special that they do not have. Now, if you have a porche, like my friend, people will ask if they can have a ride in it or take it for a spin. A friend in college owned a Trans Am and people were ALWAYS asking to drive it. People also like to walk up to you and pet your dog as your walking down the street - often without asking if it is friendly.
HA, I was about to say that! There is a pool where I live now and people invite themselves over all the time!
People ask me two things when they find out I have a horse:
1-can I go trail riding.
Response is that I have only one horse.
2-can I/my child ride.
The response to acquaintances “HA, yeah no. She’s not just for anyone to ride.” If persistent: “Yeah, no means no.” “Some part of No you are not understanding?” Depending on my mood, I sometimes elaborate, “I spend a lot of money on her to ride. You better be willing to pay, in cash, $50 to ride her.”
If it a friend or my niece, I do try to find a horse they can ride. Niece went for a pony ride on my mare over the weekend and I am trying to coordinate with friend and his horse-crazy daughter to find a day to ride.
I’m not quite sure what you mean my “ridden down.”
My guys are trained to respond to the aids well enough that it does not matter if they are fresh or not. Fresh or no, if I say “whoa” it means “whoa.” They don’t need to be tired first before they’ll listen, whether they are in their usual program of four rides a week or whether they are going for their first spin at a brandy new training barn they have just walked off the trailer at after spending the winter in a field chillaxin’.
Similarly, it is not hard to limit the riding a visitor gets to do to their level. If they are a beginner they get a ride like any other beginner student: on the lead line. If they are intermediate and can make it around a 2’6" course, they can do that. If they are advanced and can try pirouettes they are more than welcome. No matter where on the spectrum they find themselves I control what they are allowed to do because it is my horse and my rules.
I don’t limit other people riding my horses because of anyone’s safety. My horses will be fine and I am perfectly capable of adjusting the experience down to a safe level as necessary.
I limit other people riding my horses because they cost ME a metric mcshizzleton of money so that I can ride them in MY program and keep their schedule going as I feel is optimal to reach MY goals. I do not feel the need to run my program according to the charitable needs of the universe. If I spend a day demoting my competition horse to Lead Line Pony as opposed to schooling courses or doing a little work on the changes no one is paying his expenses that day just because I gave up the ride on my own horse, and no one gives me back the day to get the work done before the next lesson or show.
I don’t feel any need to make up some story about how my horses are too dangerous because they’re not.
“Sorry, I don’t generally let others ride my horses” is perfectly good enough for me.
[QUOTE=Kate66;6231200]
I don’t understand why people get so hot under the collar about someone asking to come and ride their horse. What is the problem with just saying no? Why are people so embarrassed to say no and end up being angry at the requestor because they feel put in a position where they have to say no?
They are merely asking a question which should be responded to, and for many people, that response should be something along the lines that many of the responses here are.[/QUOTE]
It may be cultural. I grew up in the South, back in the day, and we were taught it was very rude to put someone in the position of saying “no.” Because old-fashioned Southerners were uncomfortable about saying “no” and because we were raised to try and put everyone at their ease.
We had subtler ways of feeling each other out on issues so that we knew where the other person stood without having to come out and ask.
Of course, most of us had to abandon that idea when people from up North started moving down here. You can’t play that game if both parties don’t know the rules!
But some of us still find it uncomfortable saying “No.” Well, maybe it’s more accurate to say we resent being put in the position to have to say it. We’re learning, though.
