Can I ride your horse?

[saitou_amaya]

This threat reminds me of the same situation from last summer that I will most likely also have to deal with this summer. I am a college student and take my horse up to school with me during the school year and keep him at home with me during the summer.

Every summer for the last two years my boyfriend’s mother always nags me about riding my horse. And he really is a great horse, totally beginner safe. And I do let my boyfriend ride him and take him on trails and give lessons on him too. But my boyfriend’s mom is always complaining about various injuries or her back and has had back surgery in the past, so I just don’t feel comfortable having her ride my horse. Plus she keeps talking about wanting to take him out on the trails and gallop him, which just isn’t happening. So I’m dreading bringing my horse home in May and dealing with it again. I think I should just tell her for insurance reasons I don’t feel comfortable letting her ride him, which is true partly, because I board him at a private barn. And she is not the most trustworthy person in the world in my book, so I worry if she hurts herself she could sue me blind. Is that even a possibility? But I also don’t want to piss her off since she will most likely be my future mother-in-law…

[Graymaresrule]

[QUOTE=Bacardi1;6231638]
Amazingly, there are far too many ignorant people who will say “yes” to this question, even though their insurance will NOT cover an injury riding someone’s horse.

Again, the correct answer here is “No”. No funny answers, no long stories as to “why not”, just a simple “NO”.

Why is this so hard?[/QUOTE]
Because most people are in the habit of wanting to grant permission, to say “Yes”. Most of us were brought up that way, starting with “Please pick up your toys” “Please share your ice cream with your little sister”

No was not an appropriate response.

We never like being told “No” ourselves. “Can I go out and play?” “No, you didn’t pick up your toys”

Learning to say “NO” is often preceded by some regrettable experiences

[Graymaresrule]

[QUOTE=saitou_amaya;6231753]
This threat reminds me of the same situation from last summer that I will most likely also have to deal with this summer. I am a college student and take my horse up to school with me during the school year and keep him at home with me during the summer.

Every summer for the last two years my boyfriend’s mother always nags me about riding my horse. And he really is a great horse, totally beginner safe. And I do let my boyfriend ride him and take him on trails and give lessons on him too. But my boyfriend’s mom is always complaining about various injuries or her back and has had back surgery in the past, so I just don’t feel comfortable having her ride my horse. Plus she keeps talking about wanting to take him out on the trails and gallop him, which just isn’t happening. So I’m dreading bringing my horse home in May and dealing with it again. I think I should just tell her for insurance reasons I don’t feel comfortable letting her ride him, which is true partly, because I board him at a private barn. And she is not the most trustworthy person in the world in my book, so I worry if she hurts herself she could sue me blind. Is that even a possibility? But I also don’t want to piss her off since she will most likely be my future mother-in-law… :([/QUOTE]

Highly dependent on your state equine liability laws

[charlo]

I do say yes, but I also say due to liability issues I ask the person to purchase a membership for our provincial equestrian association, which will then cover me and cover them in the event something should happen. I’m covered as long as my horses are not use for commercial use - which they are not.

IF they are serious enough to spend the dollars for the membership then I’m more then happy to let them ride my horses. I have had people take me up on the offer and one is now a boarder who is also now my house/horse sitter.

I do have horses suitable to place novice level riders on. And then it is usually Lead Line/ Lunge Line - with a Helmet on their head.

[saultgirl]

I’m suprised more people don’t have liability insurance on their horses. I have insurance and I can let people ride if I choose.

[JanM]

Saitou-yes, your possible future MIL can and will sue you. And sometimes people (not saying she’s like this, but I’ve met a few that are) plan their little accidents too. Even though she has a history of back problems, I bet it won’t help you avoid paying for another accident. I know it’s hard to say no, but you need to.

Carolprudm-you hit the nail on the head. We are raised to be accommodating, and polite, and to share. Unfortunately, some people try to take advantage of this.

[dressagetraks]

[QUOTE=saultgirl;6232220]
I’m suprised more people don’t have liability insurance on their horses. I have insurance and I can let people ride if I choose.[/QUOTE]

I have liability insurance on the horses, which also follows them off site if the fence breaks or such, and the agent absolutely did ask me if I let other people ride them. It definitely made a difference to the insurance co; it was his second question, the first being if I boarded other people’s horses.

[HappyHorselover]

@paulaedwina;6228780

“BWHAHAHAHAHA, girl, that’s like asking someone to teach you to drive stick on their Porsche!”

Oh, so true!

[IBCuttin]

I used to have a few 4-H kids lease some of my horses for lessons. I feel that it was a good way to encourage more people to get into riding. I no longer do that, but would again if the right kid came along.
I have a few friends who want to go trail riding with me, since we have several horses. I used to say yes, because I liked having others along with me if the kids weren’t available or didn’t want to come. Now I’m saying no most of the time because I have better horse than I used to and don’t want to spend my next few rides fixing issues other created.
A 400 pound co-worker asked if I could give him riding lessons. Offered to pay. I had to tell him my horses just weren’t beginner friendly due to their “show training”. Had I mentioned weight, he’d have gone straight to our boss to write me up for discrimination. He’s the type to do so.
A few weeks ago several of us were planning a ride and one girl said she’d have to bow out because her old man just wasn’t in good enough condition yet, that she was still working on conditioning him. I offered her my Appy gelding because I know she can ride well. They had a good ride and she was happy to be able to come along with us.
Because of my work schedule, I can’t always make the trail rides my friends want to plan. One girl told me that she’d come get my 11 year old daughter and my little mare and they would meet up with the others for an Easter ride. Without me along. If my daughter had the horses caught and ready, even though she can’t even unbridle my horse properly, let alone saddle her. Umm, no. If my daughter wants to go on the ride, she can talk her older brother into going with her.

[Teacup]

[QUOTE=saultgirl;6232220]
I’m suprised more people don’t have liability insurance on their horses. I have insurance and I can let people ride if I choose.[/QUOTE]
Some probably do have it but just don’t want certain people riding their horse.

[IronwoodFarm]

Going without liability insurance on your horses (what the insurance industry calls “being naked”) is a really bad idea. The insurance for the average horse owner is inexpensive. It also protects you from a lot more than having someone ride your horse and fall off.

If you don’t want others to ride your horse, the simple answer is No. Nothing wrong with that. Or if you will allow a person to ride, 1)get a release signed and 2)state whatever limits you have. I require proper attire – helmet, hard soled shoes with heels – and riding in the ring only. And I watch the person ride.

Many people are clueless about riding. They have this romantic notion about galloping in the fields when they can’t steer at the walk. I actually would like to see more people ride. However the reality of riding versus the romantic notion of riding often collide.

To the OP, what I would say to the possible future MIL – Sure, come out and ride Dobbin. I will need a release signed that absolves all liability. The barn and I require it. You will need to wear a helmet, etc. and you can ride in the ring. That way you are saying yes, but being very specific about what will happen.

[sophie]

If someone asks me I say no. And I don’t have to lie, since my horse is definitely NOT beginner (or even low-intermediate) friendly. But I have used the Insurance/liability excuse when needed, if people insist.

I HAVE let other people ride my horse, but these people didn’t ask, I offered. And I offered because I knew these particular people could handle her.

It is so annoying when people think they can ride and get miffed when you say no to their request.

[sophie]

[QUOTE=carolprudm;6231759]
Because most people are in the habit of wanting to grant permission, to say “Yes”. Most of us were brought up that way, starting with “Please pick up your toys” “Please share your ice cream with your little sister”

No was not an appropriate response.

We never like being told “No” ourselves. “Can I go out and play?” “No, you didn’t pick up your toys”

Learning to say “NO” is often preceded by some regrettable experiences[/QUOTE]

Haha! Except if you’re brought up in France, I guess. I have no problem with saying No, nor have I any problem being told No. This struck me so much when I was raising my kids here in the US. It seemed like kids here aren’t held to any responsibility whatsoever about what they’re doing. “Oh honey, it was an accident, don’t worry”. Ha! Not in my house. I remember one instance when my kids were little and their friends came over, and my oldest (probably 6 at the time) wanted to go play, and I said no because she hadn’t cleaned her room. She grumbled but was fine with it, but her friend started crying and ran home! I actually felt I had to talk to her mom to explain…lol

[Bluey]

A mechanic was here yesterday to work on the tractor.

The old horse walked over to say hi! and the mechanic said “Oh, you have horses, I will bring my little daughter next time, she would love to ride a horse”.:eek:

I explained he was old and retired and no one rode him, he was crippled.
Then he noticed the other horse and asked about him, “can he be ridden?”
I said they were coming to get him shortly.

I was remembering this thread and wondered, who would work in a customer’s place and then expect to get their kids rides?

[sdlbredfan]

[QUOTE=pluvinel;6228643]
Just say they regularly run off with riders and buck them off, so you wouldn’t want to be responsible.[/QUOTE]

This is good, unless they have an inflated sense of their skills and think they can handle those behaviors.

[sdlbredfan]

[QUOTE=winfieldfarm;6229598]
In some circumstances, asking to ride someone’s horse is like asking to sleep with their spouse. Well, if you have such a good time with your spouse, why can’t I? [/QUOTE]

This is the best post on this thread!

[paulaedwina]

In all fairness they just don’t understand. To outsiders riding means sitting on a horse and staying on if it runs or jumps a fence. This is why I used the Porsche analogy with the girl who asked to ride my horse. I didn’t take offense because I knew she didn’t understand. Otherwise I’d have to explain the training goals of dressage and how I have to be trained as well to ride my horse after all those buttons get installed.

Paula

[eclipse]

I just respond with “sorry no”. I don’t believe that you should have to justify the “no” for something that is yours! If they press it, I will respond with “As I said, no, but it really sounds like you’d like to learn to ride, I can get you pricing for lessons at the barn I’m at if you’d like?”. That usually ends the conversation fast as they really don’t want to learn.

[BuddyRoo]

I think that most people don’t really understand the difference between the “tail ride” they went on as a kid and actually riding. Even riding a well behaved, been there done that horse. It’s NOT the same. And just because you didn’t get DUMPED when you went on a “tail ride” at Jackson Hole as a kid doesn’t mean you know jack shit about riding.

But here’s where it splits off for me…people who act like experts vs people who want to learn.

I’m lucky in that I have a very safe horse. For someone who wants to LEARN, she’s great! And I’m on board. I’ll try because i want to be a good “representative” of horses. But people who think they’re experts and want to go cowboy around on my old lady because one time, at band camp, they rode out a buck? Yeah, no.

And I just say no. I don’t even bother trying to come up with more. I have a hard enough time making time for ME to ride. I’m not going to deal with yahoos.

[saje]

I haven’t been asked in a while, but my favorite response was to put on a big smile and say, as though laughing at myself and my irrationality:

“That’s one of the few things I’m really selfish about, I don’t let anyone ride him, not even my husband!” (Never mind that my husband has zero interest in riding…) If they still look as though they might press the point I’ll add “Come to think of it, I think I’d rather share my husband than my horse! Hee hee hee…” and turn to leave or change the subject.