Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

[Opus1]

@WIExpat;6073670

Two things- first, how do y’all balance the horses with real life?

Welcome!

Well, I have neither hubby or kids. But I do have a 60-70 hour a week job and the barn I take lessons at is 50 miles/1 hour from home and about 75 miles/1.5 hours from work. And I have a wonky split-shift schedule. So, aside from some bonus lessons here and there, I only got to ride once a week for the past year.

And thankfully, I found an additional barn to ride out that’s on the way to work. So, that’s another lesson for me every week.

But really, the only way I’m making it work is to block off my lesson/commute times in my schedule. As in, no errands, no work commitments, no favors to friends or relatives. This is my time. Sure, sometimes emergencies come up, and I have to skip a lesson here and there, but having people know I’m doing this at this time has been a huge help. Plus, it helps me keep at it, when I’d rather sleep in or … well, sleep is the big one for me.

@WIExpat;6073670

Also, I feel like the brave/I’ll jump anything on anyone 16 year old that I once was is long gone.

I think that as adult re-riders, we now know the full cost of our actions. And for me, sadly enough, it’s less about the actual injury than the $$ cost of the injury - even with insurance - and the missed time at work, who would look after me … And there’s always that pesky ‘you could die doing this’ part of riding.

And don’t forget, when we were younger, we had more time to ride. I didn’t start riding until college, but even then, we had our own barn, 2 lessons a week, 1 IHSA practice a week AND we got unlimited practice/trail rides. Of course I was braver after one year riding in college than one year now - I had 5x as much saddle time back then.

Just don’t beat yourself up over not being able to ride as much/ride as confidently as you did before. Give it a couple months to feel it out, and then go from there.

And when you want to vent/share, you know where to come!

[Opus1]

@Dewey;6073869

You probably are aware that Toulouse saddles aren’t generally well thought of on this forum.

This is true. And while I usually search CoTH for product reviews, I also know when to throw in a couple grains of salt. I’m also not looking for a forever saddle. If I had a horse of my own, I might could justify spending $3K+ for a custom saddle.

And really, if I could find a brown, smooth leather-like synthetic CC (or close to it) saddle with an adjustable tree that didn’t have CAIR panels, I would be all over it.

@Hinderella;6073948

Opus1, I have the Pessoa with the adjustable gullet plates. … You could not, however, change it back and forth regularly. … However, I will say that any discussion of saddles on this forum often invites many responses from riders who like very expensive saddles, like Antares and Butet.

Here’s a neat video that shows how the Genesis system works. And while I don’t think I’d be changing the settings twice a week, it would be nice to change the tree width, should I decide to show horse 1 instead of horse 2. I also like the smaller adjustments that you can make:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5ENusG6FXQ&feature=player_embedded#!

As for the cost: I think once you get out of the $200 eBay saddle kit range, whatever fits you and your horse is good enough. Be it Wintec, Antares, M. Toulouse, etc.

(Sayeth the woman who would sell her soul for an Hermes, if only to spoon with it at night … )

[PaintedHunter]

[QUOTE=TarheelJD;6074890]
Send me a PM if you ever want to meet up for a game! Lots of UNC peeps in Atlanta to watch with, which makes it more fun![/QUOTE]

Sure! I’ll do that. Was thinking of going for the NC State game in a couple weeks, actually.

[pony4me]

Welcome WIExpat! We’ve all struggled with balancing horses, careers and family. It seems to become easier as we age (or at least it did for me) but the downside is that you have to maintain yourself physically so you can eventually ride at the level you’d like.

I rode a little as a kid, and not much at all in college and when my career was a priority. When I was 30, I managed to be taking one lesson a week. Stopped when kid was born, and resumed when he was about six. Finally, at age 45 was able to lease a very nice pony, started taking two lessons a week and did Long Stirrup. Bought a very nice 3’ hunter at age 52 and had four good years (even thinking about the low AO’s) until he did something to his foot, and he’s on stall rest with a coffin bone stress fracture and collateral ligament damage. Guarded prognosis for return to competitive soundness. This is a setback and I have not yet figured out how to get back in the show ring. Complicated by the fact that Mr. Stall Rest stepped on my foot a couple of weeks ago, and I totalled my truck yesterday, trying to avoid someone who was making an improper left turn into oncoming traffic. All I know is I have to stay fit and ride as much as possible, or I will start acting like the old lady I don’t want to be.

Best of luck to you!

[Prime_Time_Rider]

I am having some anxiety issues jumping (some days more so than others). Unless it’s a tiny jump (cross rail) I frequently pull in front of the jump. It’s a subconscious habit and while I’m aware I’m doing it, I have trouble letting go and just letting the jump come to me. Any ideas or advice as to how I can eliminate (or least reduce) this subconscious habit?

My horse and trainer would both be eternally grateful!

[HoosierHorseNut]

I had/have jumping issues. I went to another barn who had point and shoot horses to get my confidence up so i could come back to my mare and get the job done.

And to WIExPat, it is hard to balance home and horses, but it will work out.

[spacytracy]

Exactly what I would suggest. A horse that is consistent no matter what. And you know, it doesn’t have to be a cross-rail to a 2’3" vertical. It can be a crossrail to a 12" vertical. Then just slowly up the increment. Surely if the horse can do 12", he’ll do 18" fine. Then 2".

What has helped me is having someone else do it first on my horse, then I do it.

[TarheelJD]

pony4me: Sorry to hear about your car accident – hope you are OK!

[PaintedHunter]

I have a LOT of confidence issues as well- when I used to ride as a teenager and the shor time I did in college, I was on push-button horses who were easy-peasy. in late 2010 I bought what I THOUGHT was an easy-peasy steady eddy, but a month after getting home he told me, “JUST KIDDING!” ha. he’s still a sweetheart on the ground, but we’ve had a heck of a time the past year with HIS training, and several falls. My confidence was shot, but we’re slowly improving. I really thing he WANTS to be a good boy (still green), but our collective nerves compound against each other, and we sometimes end up a mess. But we’ll get there. As a teen, i was jumping 2’6" to 2’9", but it was only in the past couple months I’ve managed to do crossrail to a 2’ vertical. We’re showing again in crossrails this year to get BOTh of our confidences up.

[Prime_Time_Rider]

[QUOTE=spacytracy;6075745]
Exactly what I would suggest. A horse that is consistent no matter what. And you know, it doesn’t have to be a cross-rail to a 2’3" vertical. It can be a crossrail to a 12" vertical. Then just slowly up the increment. Surely if the horse can do 12", he’ll do 18" fine. Then 2".

What has helped me is having someone else do it first on my horse, then I do it.[/QUOTE]

I bought my gelding after my sensitive mare completely destroyed my confidence. She developed a habit of dirty stopping even when there was no reason to stop. My new horse is fairly consistent and isn’t a stopper, however, he tends to get iritated after I pull too many times to the jump (I don’t blame him!)

Cantering poles on the ground/cavallettis has helped and I don’t tend to pull in front of them. Once the jumps become real jumps, however, if I feel anxious I pull. As a result Mr. Steady Eddie gets annoyed and eventually quick (again, I get I’m the problem).

He goes in a happy mouth bit to minimize the affect of my pulling when there is no reason to pull. My question is how to undo this subconscious habit that is rooted in anxiety?

[Hinderella]

Prime Time Rider, I have the same sort of tension approaching a jump. My pony is very reliable, but can be quick. Have you tried using a neck strap, martingale or a breastplate? Even if your horse doesn’t require a martingale, you can use a neck strap as a guide to placing your hands over the jump. If it’s entirely on the approach, try a breastplate. You can hook a finger into the breastplate to keep your hands quiet as you approach the jump.

Also, try talking out loud on your approach to the jump. I find that it keeps my brain from “locking up”

[spacytracy]

Pop in a two point about 5 strides out, grab mane, and close your eyes. For real.

[KateKat]

[QUOTE=Hinderella;6076392]
Prime Time Rider, I have the same sort of tension approaching a jump. My pony is very reliable, but can be quick. Have you tried using a neck strap, martingale or a breastplate? Even if your horse doesn’t require a martingale, you can use a neck strap as a guide to placing your hands over the jump. If it’s entirely on the approach, try a breastplate. You can hook a finger into the breastplate to keep your hands quiet as you approach the jump.

Also, try talking out loud on your approach to the jump. I find that it keeps my brain from “locking up”[/QUOTE]

Both of these were going to be my suggestions, along with closing your eyes if you have a dependable enough horse.

Talking, or counting strides, or even having a focal point past the jump that is high up (like the light on the arena lightpole) help me not think about the approaching obstacle, and instead make me think about just keeping pace, and what I have to do on the landing side. Otherwise, I tend to fixate on the top pole of the jump and then pick pick pick, lol. Its definitely been a long road trying to break free of the habit (especially since my horse can get very speedy at the jumps) and establish the difference in my brain between “taking a feel” and “pulling back” (because she does need you to take a feel and support her with hand and leg, but gets pissed if its too much hand)

I also spent A LOT of time on my own cantering ground poles. Lots and lots of ground poles. And then more ground poles. I would set up ground pole courses on the weekends when I could take down all the jumps and be out there by myself to sort things out in a relaxed environment where I wouldn’t feel like I was holding up a lesson for making repeated mistakes. I’ve been doing ground poles less, but anytime a jumping issue with me comes back up, I always go back to ground poles. I probably do them on my own at least once every other week.

[WIExpat]

Thanks for the good advice and thoughtful responses. Mainly, I’m thrilled to the point of tears that I’m riding again, and even showing on a small scale this spring.

If anyone is in the DC/NoVa area, I’d love to meet up for cocktails to talk horses!

[Hinderella]

WIExpat, I hope to be in Flint Hill (near Warrenton) in February or March for foxhunting…perhaps you’d like to come out and car follow and meet the hunting folk? Thers’ lots of horse talk, and shopping for horsey stuf fin Middleburg, and if we’re lucky, a good afternoon at the races (and for me, a new hat!)

[Brutus614]

[QUOTE=PaintedHunter;6075926]
As a teen, i was jumping 2’6" to 2’9", but it was only in the past couple months I’ve managed to do crossrail to a 2’ vertical. We’re showing again in crossrails this year to get BOTh of our confidences up.[/QUOTE]

I’ve been lurking, but after reading this – I had to jump in. I am in the same boat, PaintedHunter.

I have an older gelding who got a bone chip in his front foot about a year and a half ago. Last summer, we went to our first horse show in probably 4 years and did the 2’.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember I used to jump 6" higher, and I feel like I’ve gone backwards. But, after all my horse and I have been through, I think it’s an accomplishment just to be able to show and get around a small course.

[BonneAmmie]

going horse shopping!

Well I’m about to ask you guys to wish me luck, so I think I had better introduce myself quick first

I started riding when I was 10 and rode up until I graduated from high school. I never had my own horse, so I never got to show or anything. I think the highest I was ever jumping consistently was 2’6 because I remember we jumped 3’ one time one day at riding camp and it was a Big Deal.

Once I got done with grad school in the great frozen north I moved back here and was like hey, no snow, I should start riding again! So two years ago I started back at a big hunter lesson barn. I have done some schooling shows and I love it. I’m only back up to 2’3 (those extra 3" are really big inches) but I would eventually like to get up to 3’ as my big scary goal height.

Then last year I decided to buy my own horse (yay, finally, dream come true!) - or actually what I meant to do was just try leasing first, but then I saw this fantastic horse that was so cute and only up for sale, etc. So I ventured into accidental horse ownership. But then ugh… well I can’t even write about it, but I am horse shopping again this year unfortunately

SO, I am going to look at potential new horses this weekend and on the one hand I am SUPER excited because yay! horses! But I am also having kind of a panicky fit. So if any of you could spare me some positive energy waves on Saturday and Sunday I would appreciate it!!

[TarheelJD]

Good Luck BonneAmmie! Try not to stress - just put yourself out there in the market, and the right horse will find you!

[shelliblue]

BonneAmmie- Good vibes coming your way!! Best of luck this weekend!!

Welcome all new members!!!
Happy Riding!!

[elizabuggy]

Welcome WIExpat!

The balancing work, job, kids is the hardest for me. I have 2 kids under 5, full time job, hubby.

It is really helpful to have a hubby with a hobby. He does yoga and I support him 100%…pick the kids up when needed so that he can find time to do what he loves. He actually started yoga right after I started riding again in September so that he too had something beyond kids and work. I think we are both much happier (even tho we were happy before). I am also lucky that he understands that horses are really important to me. I think it is on me, though, to make sure I am not taking advantage of this!

I have lots of late work nights, so I am able to flex some time and ride during the workday. I know this is an advantage many don’t have, but it makes it so I don’t impact my kids or husband. I am thinking of doing a 2 day per week lease (currently only riding 1x week) and showing this summer, so I will see if I can keep up the no-impact schedule. I am worried that I won’t be able to, but i also think it is worth a try. It will get easier as my kiddos get older!!

Sometimes I wonder why I am putting so much $ and energy into horses (mental energy even if I am not not there!), but then I will have a lesson and feel excited all over again and completely understand why. My biggest struggle is waiting a whole week for another lesson and wanting to redeem myself immediately if I had a bad lesson.