OMG - the perfect response.
And I bet I could say that with a straight face, too.
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That’s a talented horse!
My mare, of course, would go in the shed and poop the minute I got done pickup up manure.
Rebecca
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The great thing about a forum is you couldn’t hear me snickering when I typed it! I have trouble keeping a straight face.
Rebecca
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You should be cautious throwing that one out there, some might think it’s a good trade.
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We’ve got one gelding and one mare that I SWEAR wait until I get done cleaning stalls to come in and poop/pee right smack dab in the middle of the stall. I mean, they will come INTO the barn from being out in the pasture specifically to potty then go back out, the freaking goobers!
I’m so glad that my big mare specifically poops and pees along one side of her stall along the wall! Makes it a lot easier to clean as it’s a foaling size stall. My son’s gelding will only poop in one corner of his stall typically.
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This is such a horse forum. We’re talking about picking up poop, for inches and inches of thread. With poop-picking style points. 
My great life failure – I never got the hang of the one-great-shovel-move to pick up the entire pile of one barn-aisle poop. You know the sudden big shove that gets it all? I just don’t have the knack, stuff goes flying everywhere. Maybe I should cancel some appointments and get out there and do 1,000 shovel pick-ups until I know how to get it right, every time. Tell everyone to leave it there, I am coming to practice.
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For me, practicing getting all the poop up in one go is one of those things one does to make a repetitive job a little more interesting.
Once, when my husband was laid up for a while, one of his college buddies came by to help me. I could tell that he was mystified as I attempted to explain the finer points of poop-picking, while demonstrating. Including getting all of the pile in one swell foop, catching any errant bits, flipping the forkful gracefully into the cart, swapping sides seamlessly so as not to suffer a RSI, etc.
I really don’t mind picking poop. Sure, I’d mind having to do a tremendous amount each and every day ad infinitum, but simply doing a few stalls, cleaning up the sacrifice paddock, etc., is almost calming to me. It frees one’s mind to think about other things, and is similar to gardening, in a way. It’s very satisfying to have it done, even knowing that there will soon be fresh piles. Kinda like folding clean laundry, so nice when it’s finished.
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I’d rather pick poop than fold clean laundry. Any time. 
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My Paint mare decided early on that the sheds were her exclusive territory. She liked to prop her butt against the wall, and unfortunately she wouldn’t move away when she pooped. It was really hard keeping that wall clean.
Rebecca
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I would go pick up poop after a really bad all nighter for work. I’d be so tired that I would hallucinate sculptures in poop. It was a good thing I didn’t have to go farther than just out my side door to get there–driving would have been bad.
Speaking of driving, I went out to drive my pony one day after one of those bad nights. I had no business being out on the road in that kind of mental shape, but I really needed something pleasant to do. It was warm and sunny, and I fell asleep for a minute.
The pony walked over to the side of the road and grazed a bit. The cart wheels bumping on the grass woke me up pretty fast. I went home after that little incident. He was a smart pony and probably would have taken me home without direction, like the old delivery horses that knew the route, but I didn’t want to chance it.
Rebecca
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You are all making me lament the one big loss in my move from my mid-sized boarding barn to my friend’s house…she is petite and so is her metal poop shovel. It is child sized. It takes me at least 4 tries to scoop up all the aisle poop. I so long for the satisfaction and efficiency of a single strike poop scoop that I’ve considered bring out out my own big shovel but I’ve been trying hard not to seem crazy…
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This does not seem crazy to me at all. A worthy thing to bring to the barn.
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ok but when she gives me side-eye about it I’m going to have to tell her that people on the internet said it would be ok 
(kidding. I’m sure it would be fine but she will also find it really funny that I just can’t deal with the small shovel to the degree of going out and buying my own)
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I am reminded of a friend’s lease horse who hated being stalled and if he was in a stall for more than 30 minutes, he would poop in the water bucket. And if the water bucket pooping was not sufficient to convey his displeasure, he was talented enough to back himself up against the aisle wall and poop so that half of it landed in the aisle and the other half stayed on the stall wall (luckily he was on field board so rarely was stalled long enough to show his displeasure)
Recently my friend got a new girth for him and he was not convinced. The girth fell to the floor after she untacked him after we went on a trail ride and he literally went and pooped directly on the girth…
I thought it was hilarious, but also not my horse and not my tack to clean up
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Just popping in to pat myself on the back here. In addition to being really really good at limbo, I am a bonafide expert when it comes to the single swipe poop pickup technique. Be jealous.
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My mare’s other favorite place to poop was the automatic waterer. You can’t just pick it up and dump it–you have to scoop all the poop out, and generally hands are the only tool at hand.
I don’t know why she was a passive-aggressive pooper. She had the perfect life–three human servants, two pony servants, hay present all the time, and NO ONE EVER EXPECTED HER TO WORK!
Rebecca
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A friend let me keep one of my horses at her gorgeous farm for a few weeks and when I couldn’t stand her pitchforks anymore, I smuggled in a fine tines fork. I really did not want to offend her but life just wasn’t the same without my pitchfork. 
I also hate the tiny shovels so I’d fully support you bringing your own!
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2 geldings I had would pee only along one wall in the stalls, facing the open door at the back.
Took me a while to figure out it was the angle where they could look out the back door while being “hidden” by the walls as they peed 
Nobody gonna sneak up on those boys!
Current pony does the same, horse prefers to angle himself differently. He could be seen, but can also see any threat approaching 
Horses! 
@RMJacobs Driving Club Prez is 83.
He literally nods off while driving. His horses are saints.
They obviously feel Asleep at the Wheel is happening, but just walk on until he wakes up.
Scary part is he does this driving his truck, hauling.
I’ve been with him & am really reluctant to do it again!
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When I took care of my neighbor’s horses and dogs while the family was in Europe for a couple of weeks, you bet I brought my own ergonomic fork!
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Driving his truck and hauling and falling asleep is way beyond scary. I wouldn’t get near him–wouldn’t even want to be on the road at the same time.
Rebecca
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