ooh, you are wise. I just retired my forever horse. Maybe that’s why I feel this way. I cannot see ANY horse, in any price range, filling his shoes. In fact, horse shopping to “replace” him is kind of a yucky feeling all the way around.
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You won’t ever replace him. You will have a different relationship with a different horse but never really forget the old guy.
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I’m a really big believer in trusting your gut and knowing yourself and how you perceive risk.
It’s not just the risk of something going wrong if you buy him. Consider the risk of passing and watching him go on to great things. That happened to me. I fell in love with one of the horses we were tried in Europe, an 8 year old to do the 1.30s. I felt a spark the second we started jumping.
My trainer hated how mareish she was, so we passed. Well now she’s doing the 1.55m and I get to see her all the time bc the dealer is trying to sell her in California. It literally kills me to see her. Someone in my barn is considering buying her, she is now well beyond what I can afford.
One other thing to do is go somewhere quiet, get yourself really calm, focus on your breathing and then vividly imagine how you would feel if one of the vets came back and told you to pass. If all you feel is relief, I think that’s your answer. Trust your gut!!!
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If you feel that you could train and resell him if you dont click, then liking him (and a clean enough vetting for other buyers) should be good enough.
But if you would have a hard time selling and are looking for your horse, you want to be excited to bring him home and ride him.
When I was horse hunting (kinda accidentally) I really loved the horse that started it off. But my practical side said he was overpriced and too green. So I looked at other horses. Some were very nice and more suitable, but I just couldn’t get excited about them. I went back and bought the first horse. In my case I knew that I would be no good at reselling and it was for my own enjoyment, so perhaps different priorities.
It’s extremely hard to replace a heart horse. When mine died, I had already taken on my OTTB. I was very glad because he was a completely different type of horse with a radically different personality. I would have tried to fill the big guy’s shoes, and no horse could have done that. When I went to the barn, I didn’t compare him to how my Trakehner would have. I’ve now had that OTTB for 16 years and he’s special in his own way. He was my first flight hunt horse for many years and we had a ton of fun. Would I have bought him if I’d shopped right after the first horse died? No way.
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I almost vomitted on the desk of the poor bank employee that did my wire transfer to Germany. It did not help that her eyes bugged out of her head when she saw the amount I was sending. For a horse. And he has taken me to Devon in the 3’6" A/O and got a ribbon there. So while still not a financial sound decision, it was worth it.
That “dear lord wtf have I just done” feeling is perfectly normal when paying an amount that could probably buy you a car. For a farm animal. That jumps sticks.
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I really appreciate and am admittedly fascinated by this discussion. I’ve had my horse for six months. She’s lovely in many ways (she is my only horse) but I like don’t love her like the horse I leased who I loved dearly but who became ill and had to be retired. I’m told “it takes a year” to really figure out if you and the horse are a match. Have others found this timeline to be an accurate gauge? Or is it simply to say in six more months you will just have accrued more time (and money!)?!
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If that’s what your feeling is, and nothing more, then get the horse! Those are normal - spending gobs of money on something that can suicide itself within hours of arrival does make your common sense shriek a little.
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Only you can know the real answer, but sometimes it really does take a year. Sometimes longer! I’ve had my boy for 14 years, but I’ll confess, early on I thought of selling him more than once! I even had a pro/con list! I stuck it out (my trainer said he had all the talent I needed to do anything I wanted). We’ve been places I never thought I’d go and done things I never thought I could do. He is now 17 and we are STILL learning new stuff. He will never be sold. I can only afford one. He’s my last horse (I’m 63) so we will retire from riding together.
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Honestly I understand you like you can’t imagine.
Currently horse shopping and I found a horse I love. I’m convinced he’s the one but I’ve had a couple of bad purchase experiences which besides leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth I ended up a bit afraid of nasty surprised.
Last horse I had vetted perfectly, he was described as a ‘lazy guy’ who was care free and didn’t look twice at anything which I soon found out was a complete lie. I tried him out and he was definitely lazy, which I like, but the second i got him home and started actually feeding him (he was super skinny) I immediately got a totally different horse. He was suddenly transformed from lazy boy to a ‘hold on cause I like running’ kind of horse. Found out the old rider was a huge 1.70m man who was quite heavy so of course the second I, a 1.60m 50kg girl, sat on him he was way lighter and his true colors came out. He’s great but he wasn’t what I wanted or what matched me so I completely get the nerves of nasty surprises.
Sometimes gut feelings are for a reason, and you should trust your trainer and ask for her personal opinion since that is what we pay them for XD She knows you best, what your style is, and what will match you. The check will definitly hurt but the second you have the horse you love at your barn you will forget about it.
I’m normally the type to overthink and rethink “big” decisions (job offers, moves, major purchases, etc.), but I’ve never had second thoughts about buying a horse—even the ones at the top of my price range. I’ve had anxiety about wire transfers and the shipping process, sure. But not the horses themselves…and I generally buy off video, so there’s a lot of uncertainty.
I also insure my horses before they set foot on the trailer or the plane, so I know if something happens, I’m covered. That goes a long way towards mitigating some of the what-ifs.
I should also say I’ve bought the “wrong” horse for me before. But I try to buy what I know will be marketable to someone else should I not click with the horse. So far, it’s always worked out. There may be ups and downs, but that’s horses.
You mentioned vetting issues. There are some things in a vetting that I don’t mind, especially if the horse has been doing the job. But if it’s a resale or even just a potential resale if you don’t click, it’s worth keeping in mind that buyers can be seriously picky. It’s worth getting a couple of opinions on whether the particular vetting issues would deter others from buying. And also see if your insurance would put an exclusion on the horse for the issue. That would be a deterrence as well.
At the end of the day, trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right and the risks outweigh your excitement, keep looking. The market is tough right now. It seems like there are way more buyers than horses, so people are more willing to compromise on what they want just to get a horse. But for those of us who can only afford one at a time, it’s really important that we find the RIGHT horse.
That’s good to hear! And congratulations! It sounds like you are a great team.
any big cash expenditure, if money is not unlimited, will make most people get cold feet. That’s normal. A horse can be sold if it doesn’t work out and there is no perfect.
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So well put. My common sense freaks out every time I buy a horse, regardless of the price range. I’ve bought expensive and inexpensive horses, and either way the small part of me with any financial sense is screaming “WTF are you thinking??”
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If it is the vetting that is freaking you out, I would speak directly with the vet that will be maintaining the horse. It’s not a matter of a “clean” vetting, if you are buying for yourself the question is, can the horse be maintained sound in xxx program. If this or that finding becomes an issue, what does that mean?
And like other posters have said, part of it is your personality. I love every horse I sit on with maybe 5 notable exceptions out of hundreds. But I have a lot of friends that have to get used to a horse in order to love it.
Me too. I analyze and over analyze anything more than $100 and god forbid it involves writing a check for 5 figures. Six figures involve multiple friends holding my hand and guiding the pen.
I would never even buy tires for my car if I used the “if doubts appear, back out” approach. Some of us are just wired to worry.
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Bingo! Exactly!
Tires are a big investment. Of course they are worth worrying about.
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Thank you all for your reassurance! Not sure why I was surprised by my cold feet. I get anxiety over choosing a new shampoo!
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It me. 
Oddly enough, my most recent purchase, a low-four figure filly bought off a 10-second video and paid for via Venmo, was both the quickest and the least stressful.
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I stayed up all night worrying about the PPE either way- I had major cold feet and thought maybe it was best the PPE didnt go our way.
We were looking for a horse for my teen daughter. She had leased a horse for a few years and loved that horse in that way young girls who are horse obsessed love a horse. I loved that horse possibly even more than her- she taught my daughter how to ride. But it was a lesson horse and not ours and daughter needed a horse to move on with. Daughter had no interest in horse shopping. She had her heart horse.
Found a horse, good price for us (we are not looking for anything $$$), checked the boxes, arranged the PPE, I was so nervous. Horse sold out from under us. I was both relieved and sad. A month later we still hadnt found anything else and we regreted missing out on horse #1. Then along came horse #2. Twice the price as horse #1. #2 is great- checks all the boxes. I stay up all night worrying I am making the biggest mistake- we shouldn’t even own a horse.
In the meantime lease horse has a career ending injury. Daughter is devastated. We buy #2. They did not click for at least 4 months. Things were fine but the spark was missing.
Horse #2 proceeds to take daughter to shows, her first clinics, her first hunter pace… 9 months later he really is a perfect match ability wise and temperament for my kid. We love him and look forward to many years with him. He was the right choice.
But the love between my daughter and him still doesn’t come close to the lease horse. Luckily she still gets to visit lease horse and go for a trail rides.
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