Do you really mean to argue that no one should join COTH for the sole purpose of asking a question about this rather insular, poorly-regulated industry? And the OP’s question isn’t so much one of ignorance so much as wanting to compare experiences. No one’s sample size with pros and horse sales is so large that it’s not worth trying to figure out what an industry standard might be.
C’mon: Be welcoming. It costs you nothing to do that.
Most of the world can’t fathom why someone would pay $7 or $8,000 for a saddle.
My family thought my $5,000 horse was an astronomic spend.
I have a friend who thought my $50k new car was insane.
It’s all perspective and what lens you view expenses from.
It’s not the money that gets me, but the culture of the “sport” at these levels. It’s more like pageantry than equestrian sport. The more bifurcated we get, with ultra high level horses at one end, and corrals full of unwanted mustangs and tossed off auction horses in another, the worse it is for everyone, horses and prospective riders.
I really wish the US had more community-based opportunities around horses. Other countries do this MUCH better.
I can vouch for the presence of an entire industry of brokers, specialist repair and restoration shops, etc in the high end of the car business, having tangential contact with it through DH and his father. When selling a really valuable car, the question is usually whether to send it to one of a very specific list of exclusive auctions, or letting the private network of brokers and specialists put the word out to see if they know someone who will pay for it in a private sale. Which course will net more money? You are going to be paying a commission either way. It’s a completely different world, with sooooo much money sloshing around in it.
School teachers get health insurance, pensions, and all holidays off not to mention a week or more at Christmas and winter and spring breaks and the entire summer off as well. Not many professional horsemen and women get those benefits and time off. And in my area many are making well into the six figure salaries.
10-20% commission has been standard for as long as I can remember. Maybe OP should try to buy and sell her son’s horses and see just what is involved instead of begrudging her pro a decent income.
i had a trainer (dressage world) that stumbled on a 1/2 lease situation. We went, rode the horse and I said “lets do it”. Owner brought the horse to our (non-show) barn, but was not in a program. She mentioned to the trainer that the horse was actually for sale and she’d be happy to pay commission if trainer got the horse sold. Fast forward a year. Trainer was not a fan of the horse, never mentioned to anyone that he was for sale, never had anyone try him, tried a number of times to talk me into buying other horses but never him. By then I was smitten so I talked to owner who by now was a good friend, we agreed on price and I bought him. The trainer called owner asking for a commission and she said “hell no, you didn’t do anything”.
OP merely said they were concerned about commissions rates as they are not ultra wealthy and are perhaps putting too much into kids dreams. $60k commissions for sale and purchase of $200k horses whether surprising to OP or not shouldn’t be a surprise for a Big Eq campaigning family.
I am agreeing with them that those figures feel not right for their budget if they feel squeezed by 30% commission total for two transactions totaling $60k. No one one planet earth, not even Olympians need $200k horses. No one is forcing anyone to be an Olympian, they do it because they can… There is a reason why Eventers have syndicates for their horses. Always better to use someone else’s money in investments 
We are all around wealth in this sport supremely beyond what I have. I consider myself genuinely middle class at best in my demographic (CA city - you can assume which one), and poor AF in the competitive horse world.
I provide details about my own financials to give folks perspective as to WHY I say something and to provide some context of credibility and true non-jealousy as often COTH devolves into when someone dissents. Money isn’t a bad word - my income is public on levels.fyi - I am not special in obvious CA city where to afford a house and a kid you absolutely need more than $400,000 income a year to ever eat out or go on vacation and certainly to afford even my shitty-ass $20k/year jumper lease horses. I don’t find someone telling me their experience and credentials alongside their opinion offensive … I’m usually thrilled someone has insight that I don’t have. Subject matter experts are … awesome?
My commentary is to exemplify that OP might be playing ball at a rate that may not be healthy or appropriate for their finances from my perspective of what is reasonable for someone to consider spending $200k on a kids sport pet.
IMO those who can pay $200k for a horse should be able easily pay $60k in well deserved commissions to their trainer.
At the end of the day - we will never know the real story. Likely, OP is a non-horsey parent with a good riding kid & a good horse that they purchased for far less than $200k and are now shocked about the “hidden fees” of buying and selling show horses. They also indicate that they need to sell Big Eq horse to buy $200k jumper & $60k therefore feels outrageous.
My sole point is - they probably don’t need a $200k jumper and they have full ability to reduce the $60k commission with some minor planning and negotiation.
I’m truly sorry if I came up supercilious - I am really passionate about personal finances and it breaks my soul to see parents flood a luxury purchase for a kid (who more often than not, ends up not riding in that capacity after a handful of short years) that isn’t always necessary, but is felt as such due to horsey naivety & maybe a strong trainer with a program and goals for the kid.
Maybe it is the 32 year old in me who grew up solidly middle class, but I would be horrified if my parents threw THAT much money into horses for me as a junior vs doing something more long term stable for the family. I look at things like the cost of college, the cost of childcare, homes, the freaking price of gas and I am like… people should not be pushing nearly a quarter mil of cash into sport pets for juniors if they need to make major sacrifices for $60k.
Back to – not everyone manages their money like I do. People do wild sh*t with money, boy do I know.
Also I was only responding to direct commentary on how high net worth folks spend - I spend a lotta time around those a**holes who can get laid off and just sell one of their many income properties on the coast and not work for another decade or retire at 42. F*cking hate that they’re my friends / peers just a decade & millions of dollars ahead of me 
Now I wonder if we worked for the same person. Lol.
My mom always said there were different flavors of rich people, but two main flavors
Those so manically rich that absolutely nothing phases them even losing 44 billion + dollars (Elon Musk). (high risk, high reward…until the reward runs out)
Those so rich that absolutely any savings, tax manipulation, prudence should be observed whether necessary or not (Buffet). (Mitigated, moderate risk; moderate reward)
At one point Elon was worth double Buffet - this past week may have changed that 
But… That’s you and your priorities? And I think that’s why @wanderlust pointed out that most of us don’t give a damn about how wealthy you are (or are not) when it comes to advising OP on their horse purchase. I’m just a little older than you and honestly, don’t own a home, don’t care to. Don’t want kids, so could care less about childcare. Not really worried about gas prices or inflation. And almost certainly invest in the sport and in my horses in a way that would “horrify” you.
Also, your generalizations about the “high net worth” individuals you know are weird and come off as a peculiar form of bragging. You literally think you’re the only person on this forum who’s rich or knows rich people? Girl. 
Ah yeah! I get you - not bragging - but I can see how it comes off like that when most folks don’t talk plain numbers. I find in cities and in certain sectors people speak really plainly about their finances and discuss trade-offs openly.
I was again referring to OP’s situation - has kid - Big Eq kid referenced. Has home (presumably! as they know what commissions real estate agents get).
Unfortunately, I’d need more context on their sacrifices to comprehend why OP is freaked out by $60k commissions to help them make their trade offs. Is the trade-off selling the old BMW or is the trade-off liquidating the kid’s college funds.
Maybe it is a touch to the 'tism, but OP was asking for financial advice, were they not?
No. They weren’t.
Also, I live in New York City… Arguably one of the cities where people are the most open about their finances (from rent to bonuses). What you’re doing isn’t being open, it’s peculiar.
Gotcha, so maybe they were more asking for is 15% on sale and purchase of Big Eq show horse normal. Answer, yes very normal.
interesting! Ok, my little neurodivergent brain didn’t get why they gave prices if they didn’t want to dig in together!
Also, I’m from the NYC area originally. Perfect place to NOT own property & be childfree! Kids aren’t my cup of tea either!
Not at all. I don’t understand the criticism directed at your prior post, or the criticism of this quoted post. I didn’t read all the negativity into it that the critics did.
I found your posts to be an interesting and insightful look at a side of personal finances not available to me. Your thoughts were factual and weren’t implying anything.
And no, not everyone on this board has access to the kind of income you discuss, and it is interesting to find out how the other half lives.
Thanks for your posts!
That work is worth whatever the market says it is worth, and the market says that’s currently 10-30% of the sale price. If you don’t like it nobody will ever force you to buy or sell a horse through an agent or trainer.
People always quibble over what others get paid. I’m sure some out there would think it’s nuts to pay whatever the standard salary in your field is.
I think everyone got a bit weird when OP said $200k Big Eq horse and in the same sentence was upset about standard commissions LOL
this sport brings out such inequities … because to a certain degree it always will be largely pay to play. 99% of people myself included can never “work enough” to play, seriously at certain levels. it is so incredibly icky-feeling.
but also, i’m not that good at all, ahah, and don’t pretend to be. I like my long weekend at Thermal or Thunderbird and am thrilled when I improve season over season. I am always finishing a round being like “so many people don’t have access to touch a horse. I am so lucky”
Are you Canadian? 
No, although I’ve helped a few Canadians over the years. But that did not include the person I was reminded of by your previous post. Lol.
I don’t think you necessarily have a monopoly on experience in “the modern world of wealth”, nor, perhaps exposure to all the different thinking of people who are wealthy. Certainly (and especially in the first flush) one might be inclined to not mind the details, but there comes a point where one starts to question some of the bigger outlays.
Certainly, a commission is customary in the buying and selling of upper-end horses. But 30%+ on $200k seems a bit high to me. Perhaps I’m just not stupid rich.
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