I have a paint mare who’s been with me for 7 years. Less than a year ago we moved to a property where should could live with us. We ended up getting a very small pony as a companion animal. At first everything was great but as time goes go the pony is getting more and more food aggsive, mainly about grain and so far I haven’t seen a problem when they’re in the field together. The pony also gets upset every time I ride but when I try to take her with us and the lead she drives my mare crazy. She’s a rescue and I feel really bad for not loving her but I don’t. I’m just wondering if my mare even cares at this point. Anyone ever deal with anything like this?
Well if you’re not separating them at grain feeding time, that’s one problem you can correct. Most horses can get aggressive over grain especially if they live with a much larger horse. Ponies can be a little 'er, overly aggressive if
they’re used to getting bullied.
If you’re dealing with separation anxiety of the pony, why not teach pony and mare to learn to peacefully ‘pony’ out
together. It’s a skill you can train both of them and it’s really good for them to learn this. Maybe start in a confined area.
I don’t see a big problem here at all.
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Yeah this is how I ended up keeping four horses. 
Feeding separately is just a frustration that we don’t always teach people when matching companion animals - that if they are not on the same feeding program, it’s potentially a problem. I have two like this and one scarfs his food and the other likes to nibble all day. Thus they have a fence between them when they were intended to live together.
One question would be if either animal actually needs grain. Maybe that is a way to solve the problem some.
If the pony is upset but not dangerous, I would just let her be upset. If that’s not how it is and it’s preventing you from enjoying your riding, I would say it might not be wrong to try to swap the pony for another animal that might be a better fit. If you can invest some training time into the pony, it might make her desirable to someone who will love her for what she is.
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They are fed in stalls and get hay with their grain. She’ll scream the whole time I ride and my concern is she’ll hurt herself. I’m just not sure if my mare cares.
Yes as others have said, 2 is not enough. You get another horse or another pony or some equine so you can ride out on your horse. It’s always a problem unless you have more than 2 equine.
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Does sound like the pony may like to be somewhere else, maybe where there are more horses, not just one?
One other option, if you really don’t care for the pony, neither does your mare, why not find it a home others may love doting on her?
No one has to keep a horse they don’t care for around if they don’t want to. Life is too short to be aggravated.
Find a place for that pony where it will have it’s own happy family.
I too have a horse that is ok with other horses around, but he really is more settled and comfortable when alone, even more the last years as he is getting older.
I had several other horses with and by him and other horses come here now and he just does his own thing, never even looks up when others come and go.
He likes his peace in his pens without sharing with anyone else.
Most horses do like company, some more than just one other horse, but not all.
I’ve found 3 is perfect for taking one away at a time.
SOME food aggression is okay, in my opinion, but I’m not sure what severe it is. I feed my three horses together (they get the same amount of grain conviently) while I pour the buckets, dominance is clearly established. The first horse might warn the next by pinning his ear or kicking out or biting etc etc. as long once they settle they peacefully eat (keeping lots of space is good too) as for the separation anxiety… maybe a goat? My horse is like that too but it’s never been that bad. They can work themself up as much of they want but it won’t hurt anything. If you want to just sell the pony (or give him away) there’s no shame in it. A companion is important but it doesn’t have to be a horse. Or you could even get an older retired horse (I despise ponies honestly)
If your mare is fine to ride then leave the pony in her stall and let her scream. Take out anything you are afraid of her getting hurt on. If your mare cared about separation you would know.
If they are fed in stalls… how is pony showing food aggression? If you have see-through walls you can put up plywood to make it not see-through… that should fix feeding time problems.
