Hi all, this is my first post and is something I’ve been hesitant about sharing, but I thought I’d go ahead and do so. Over the summer, I thought it’d be fun to show for the first time in a long time; unfortunately, things did not go as planned. The arena was an absolute swamp, and I ended up taking a mud bath after the second fence (refer to the photo for the lonely walk of shame). The fall itself wasn’t bad as the landing was very soft; however, I was one of the first riders and did not bring a change of clothes, so I was forced to rock the mudpack look for the remainder of the day. I felt super embarrassed wadding through the mud and having all these eyes on me; my confidence was rocked especially considering the time since my last show. Perhaps I am being a bit over the top and should laugh it off. It was the only show I went to this year, and I am unsure whether I should redeem myself and go to another show to right the wrong. What should I do?
Oh, man, that sounds like it really sucked.
Mud is difficult and it can take away the confidence of any horse or rider. I mean, I can’t believe you finished the show - not because of how you looked but just because it took a ton of resourcefulness to keep going in difficult conditions on a difficult day and probably with your clothes pretty uncomfortable. No one whose opinion was worth hearing would think less of you for ‘rocking the mudpack look’ … but I can totally understand why it would feel uncomfortable and traumatic.
If you like showing, OF COURSE you should go to another show! <3 Maybe do yourself a favor and try for a venue that won’t be muddy so you’ll have a great fun day.
We do this for fun. Be kind to yourself. Rock on and I hope the next show is a fabulous experience for you.
Take the old school eventer attitude (back when we could fall, remount and continue), mud and grass stains mean you took the hits and kept going.
We all fall. If you aren’t falling off, you are not pushing your skills or ability. Also, a rider who can fall, get back on and fix the ride is to be admired. They have the mindset of a horseman.
Here is my favorite recent fall picture from this past April.
Reframe your thinking. That mud is a badge of courage. I’ve never been at a show where a rider fell off that the collective people didn’t hold their breath and wait anxiously for the rider to rise up with the only thing banged up being their pride. We’d often applaud 
the walk back to the gate. Every rider sees themself in the person who took the unintended dismount.
If you’re on Facebook, join the group shiteventersunite if you haven’t already. It’s a refreshing experience to have people posting openly about those moments that are tempting to hide as potentially being embarrassing.
^^ This. Absolutely.
So who are you wanting to redeem yourself to?
The only people whose opinion matters at a show are, in descending order of importance: your horse, you, your coach and the judge. Everyone else should just be a blur like the crowd at the mall.
If you came off in mud at a show, and your only real anxiety is what did the spectators think? You are so lucky. I am getting older and don’t care what the general public thinks but if I took a fall I would likely have deep seated anxiety about riding that horse or that movement again. I would also likely break some bones and need an Air Ambulance to a major trauma center.
I wish I could combine the don’t give a hoot attitude of old age with the bounce and unbreakableness of youth (minus the social anxiety) but it seems most of us don’t get both at the same time. I think top athletes have both, though. The physical confidence and the ability to shut out the world and focus.
Guaranteed almost noone from that show remembers clearly what happened because each of them were deep in their own anxieties and nerves and crisis. At most they remember someone came off in the mud. They won’t remember it was you.
They will remember with total and tedious clarity everything that happened to them: Pooky swapped leads! My saddle pad had a stain! I lost my crop! We chipped at the mini oxer! I ate a hotdog and felt sick! They won’t have bandwidth to remember you your horse your face and what happened to you because they are all in deep private drama. OMG I brought the wrong headstalls that doesn’t match my saddle I was so embarrassed everyone must have noticed.
I’d say yes go to the next show, enter classes well within your ability as a hirse/rider team, take a change of clothes, and consider withdrawing if the arena is a mess because mud is a hazard to your horse.
I also recommend shiteventersunite on FB. It’s British based which sets the tone for dry self mocking humor and a stiff upper lip.
As an older adult, showing in the tiny fence hunter divisions, often against children on ponies, as a result of too many injuries and a lack of confidence, I fully understand. But, truly, we have all made that walk… or limped out…or rode the stretcher to the ambulance at least once if not many times over the course of a life of riding.
I took a header this summer into the mud right at the in gate, in front of a crowd and right by the judge. Did I feel embarrassed? Heck yeah! No change of clothes so I had to get back on, dirt and all, and face down that line again. Scared? Yes, I most certainly was! But I did it, shoved my anxiety aside and channeled my inner brave woman and did it. You can too! Not one of us who’ve sat on a horse hasn’t been in your shoes and we don’t judge. Hold your head high and get back in the show ring!
At a recent show, I was wearing out and pulled up in the warm up area and another lady in the class said, “you got it girl, we’re all in this together!” I can’t tell you what a difference that made. I really do think most adult riders mean this sentiment when they say it. And if not, who cares, still helps!
Yes go show again!
About 8-9 years ago I had an absolutely nasty fall. It was bad enough that I couldn’t get back on, I just had to go to the hospital. I couldn’t ride for months. And it really shook my confidence.
I then went to a show and did horribly. My horse was a total ass, which isn’t a common thing I say, but that day he was just really pulling all the sh*t he could. And then I didn’t show for 2 years because I just didn’t think I could.
So when I finally went to my first show after all of that I entered a cross rail class. I rode my jumper horse, who was extremely overqualified, over these tiny little 12 inch jumps and let me tell you I was TERRIFIED. To this day, that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done because I was so scared. I was just sure I would fail, but I didn’t. We won our little event trial that day.
And after that I just worked my way up to doing bigger stuff. Each show, as long as I felt good, I’d do the next height. And then the next.
So my point is, don’t be afraid to step back to jumping the little stuff. Even if that’s a pole on the ground. Set yourself up for success so you have a good experience. And then just keep going.
Also, we all fall at shows. No one remembers you falling off except yourself.
I was just about to suggest shiteventersunite (SEU). Great for getting your head on straight about horses. Lets you know that we’ve ALL had those moments and worse. As a matter of fact OP - if you join and submit that picture, you will probably get your first post accepted. That in itself is an honor!
Just remember - We’ve all been there!
Food for thought… I once fell off the same mare for 7 days in a row. She legit bucked me off in different corners or points of the ring every day. After that… she became a winning pre-childrens and childrens hunter. It was like… she was mad and had to prove something… to me… to herself… or the universe… who knows? But I guess sticking with it ended up proving to her that it was worth the chance. FWIW, I was really her last chance bc the trainer had convinced himself that horse had major back issues bc he and his sister couldn’t ride it without it trying to put them in the dirt. Funny thing… mare had nothing wrong with her at all physically, but had some sort of mental block that needed to be worked on and once it was… she was an angel.
It’s embarassing, but I can tell you that most people are more worried about themselves and their own personal performance than about others and I sincerely doubt that they’ll recall anything that happened from yesterday in the ring, let alone a few months ago. If it helps, go do some flat classes for the first time and just school in the schooling area over jumps. If it has a ticketed warm-up, try that one too.
Work your way back up to your comfort zone!
There’s two types of riders who show over fences —those who have fallen off at a show, and those who will fall off at a show. (This probably applies to many other disciplines, but for sure to any h/j/eventer.). The only thing I’ve ever thought about a mud-covered or grass-stained rider at a show is, “oh man, been there!”. It’s a badge of courage, after all!
My favourite (note, not “only” — I truly am a shiteventer) fall at a show was in the warm-up when I was moving up a level and already pretty scared. I “rode” up to the big warm-up vertical (I put “rode” in quotes because sitting on a horse doing absolutely nothing doesn’t really qualify as riding) and my terrific horse understandably stopped dead —then launched herself straight over, toppling me like a bag of potatoes. I got up and saw a very big BNT LITERALLY doubled over with laughter. Embarrassing, right?? My horse (the one in my avatar) was a clunky draft cross who was kind of freakishly athletic in her prime, and when Mr. BNT stopped laughing, he said “Holy CRAP, your cart horse can JUMP!! Now go out there and kick ass!!” 
YAAASSSS! I love it! We were at a schooling jumper show recently where there was much mayhem and confusion in the poles and X-rails divisions due to it being the first show of the series they’d had to move indoors. At least one pony I saw had to have the trainer hop on for a come to Jesus round before sending the wee jockey back out. (It took wee jockey close to 4 minutes to pilot the pony around, but THEYMADE IT!! WHOOOT!) It was freezing, one trainer was (IMO) being obnoxious, and lots of anxious horses and riders as things stalled. Someone with a Top 200 FEI ranking came to the rescue of the poor gate stewards, cheerfully and patiently calling out rider numbers and looking around for the next on deck.
OP, you fell off in a show. Know why you fell off in a show? Because you had the grit and courage to actually go out there and jump in a show! My only thoughts on seeing a rider fall in a show are first, are they ok? And second, “Damn, they’re brave! I don’t think I could do that!” Pretty much guarantee that’s all anyone was thinking when you fell, too. Take the return to showing at whatever pace that makes you feel comfortable. Maybe you go and enter the Pleasure classes and add a jumping division if things are going well. I’ve seen lots of people trot – sometimes even walk – the Poles division at schooling jumper shows. Don’t be afraid to take whatever steps are necessary to feel comfortable. There’s plenty of time for moving up. Good luck!
OP- go show if you’re going to enjoy it.
I’ll share my 2 experiences in the last year.
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Killing it in the jumpers, one fence to go, bad mom turn, saintly horse cleared it, I bit the dust 8 inches from the finish line as my horse stared down at me. Then I jumped up and for whatever reason dragged him those 8 inches to beep the buzzer. I laughed, everyone laughed, the judge said “good try you made my day but your horse’s face was priceless”.
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Ocala bucket list- misjudged a distance, saintly horse tried to clear it, we parted ways. It was BAD, but next time I saw the show crew and Ingate person- (in Ohio bc I had snapped my ulna in the fall so was out of commission ) we all laughed about it bc I was like “NO ONE TOUCH ME” as I lay there.
This stuff happens. One of the most important tools in your toolkit is a sense of humor. I swear it happens to us all and hopefully learn something in the process.
Seriously OP, you redeemed yourself just by doing that. I don’t think I would have had the willpower to do the same. I do think you should do another show so that one doesn’t become cemented in your mind as THE SHOW, the show to end all showing. Maybe you can find a laid back, low-pressure show to prove to yourself you can make it through a show without hitting the mud. Good luck!
OP, I’m just wondering if you’ve ever had a harsh or unkind thought watching someone else fall…at a show or at home. Whether they made a mistake or it was totally out of no where…. A person you like, dislike, or never met- have you ever thought less of them as they walked out? I’m going to go ahead and guess you haven’t. You held your breath for them as they roused, maybe yelled “sit up!!!” before they went down, definitely you’ve turned to a friend and said “wow she’s tough”
The truth is, no one else on the rail, in the judges box, at the concession stand, think anything of you other than they’re glad you got up. Period. Fight another day, because you love it and because you learned from it and because we’re all just a little crazy enough to do it. You’ll tell this story and show this picture for years to come with a laugh, I promise.
OP, by all means check out Shiteventers on FB!
The cover photo alone should make you LOL 
Agree X1000 with everyone saying Kudos! You did it! Showed, crashed&burned & lived to show again.
My own DH once took down a fence so completely that ring crew had to come in to disassemble the rails to get him & horse out!
He, they & all had a good laugh & somewhere I have the moment preserved on VHS (yes, that long ago).
My own moment came with my TWH doing his Very.First.Dressage.Test.
Also his first time off my farm in 3yrs 
Intro & he was okay with Test 1, but going back in for Test 2, he had Enuff!
Not only switched from trot to Gait halfway through, but threw in his patented Telespook w/Squeal.
I stayed on, but Judge’s comment for the movement: “Naughty” 
To my surprise he won that 1st test, came 3rd in the other.
Judge told me - when I thanked her for recognizing him as gaited - “Your geometry was spot-on”
So, keep on keeping on.
Brush off the mud & show again! 
Ah yes- dressage… Just a few months ago when this life long hunter (bought a jumper) tried a Combined Test. This one had a whistle or bell or Whatever it was my saintly horse - loopy and quiet in wam up- heard it and thought it was the bell in the jumper class and happily cantered down centerline looking for the jumps. LOOKING- like WOO HOO and my sad hunter butt attempting to remain calms while hauling back on Mr. Jumper in a teeny snaffle . 
all you can do is be able to laugh at yourself. (and I was a petty successful ammy and junior) #adulttrainwreck
OP- if you want to feel better about yourself- IM me I am JUST a mess and keep plugging along.
