COVID Cliques?

[Bebe_Falcon1]

As a socially anxious person I already know I’m more prone to feeling left-out in social situations, but has anyone else noticed the forming of cliques at the barns where they ride or board since COVID began?

I can count on both hands the number of times I’ve ventured into the barn to access my locker since last March (at one point there were many parts of the barn that were considered “off limits” and I think the feeling of those restrictions has lingered with me), when I emptied it into the back of my car in order to have my grooming essentials on me at all times.

Since then, I’ve been actively avoiding other boarders for fear of being caught standing too close together or not being heard clearly due to mask-wearing, and have visited and groomed my mare almost exclusively outside in her paddock… alone.

While I accept that I’m on one extreme end of this spectrum, I feel like many boarders are at the other end of the spectrum as it seems as though this lockdown has actually enhanced the relationships between some of them and they’ve become quite close (from my vantage point waaaaay out in the paddock ).

I’m curious to know if anyone else has noticed this, or experienced it themselves?

[clanter]

I really believe the majority of people’s high point in life was middle school, now they are reverting to their way of life back then

[Scribbler]

I noticed in general when we were on lockdown, that people who had to be places, like doctors offices, were more chatty because they hadn’t spoken to anyone in days. Also when you have a mask on you have to talk louder.

It’s very likely if your barn mates have been working from home or have lost other recreational activities, that the barn is a bigger part of their life than in the past.

As far as cliques, in a big barn people naturally become friends with others who share their interests or point of view. Our self board facility has 3 separate barns with 20 horses each, and people tend to get to know the people in their own barn the best. In our particular barn, we have a cluster of race track people, and a cluster of pony club moms who ride themselves. They gravitate towards each other out of shared interests. I have a couple of genuine real friends at the barn, which is enough.

But I can’t say that I see increased social activity at the barn. I feel like any given friend group can wax or wane in intensity over time.

When I was a teen I thought friend groups, cliques, gangs, whatever, were the important basic social unit. When I became an adult I realized that actual individual real friends were the basic thing, and that most of the time an apparent group or clique observed from outside was just an illusion or temporary cluster, often unstable or fragile.

If I want to be friends with someone I make overtures. I don’t worry about the existence of cliques, if that makes sense.

[AllTheCarrots]

@Scribbler

I noticed in general when we were on lockdown, that people who had to be places, like doctors offices, were more chatty because they hadn’t spoken to anyone in days. Also when you have a mask on you have to talk louder.

It’s very likely if your barn mates have been working from home or have lost other recreational activities, that the barn is a bigger part of their life than in the past.

This. Getting a chance to talk to someone to whom I’m not related by blood or marriage is amazeballs. Getting a chance to talk about something other than whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher is icing on the cake. In the Times Before, I was a high-functioning introvert. But these days I will strike up a 6-ft-away-and-masked chat with any poor soul who crosses my path.

[lenapesadie]

I wish I could heart your post multiple times

[trubandloki]

@AllTheCarrots

But these days I will strike up a 6-ft-away-and-masked chat with any poor soul who crosses my path.

I think you nailed it! So true!

[2DogsFarm]

@AllTheCarrots Try living alone.
The cats & horses have to listen to me hold forth on whatever pops into my head.
Trips to stores are a treat. Cashiers! Stockers! People to talk to!!

[AllTheCarrots]

@2DogsFarm, that sounds just as tough in its own way. Hang in there!

[2DogsFarm]

Lucky for me I’ve also always been somewhat of a Loner.
I’m getting “just enuff” human interaction (with actual friends) so I enjoy the Alone too.
As for my animals, they can just tune me out

[Heinz_57]

@AllTheCarrots

This. Getting a chance to talk to someone to whom I’m not related by blood or marriage is amazeballs. Getting a chance to talk about something other than whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher is icing on the cake. In the Times Before, I was a high-functioning introvert. But these days I will strike up a 6-ft-away-and-masked chat with any poor soul who crosses my path.

This is me I cannot shut up now when I get to talk to real outside world people. My bubble consists of a 4 year old girl and DH…who I’m sure tires of me chattering his ear off when he gets home from work. I wish I had a barn to go to! I ramble on like a horse crazy kid when I get to talk to my few horse friends. It’s embarrassing.

[shiloh]

No cliques but then outside of work I am a hermit. I figure I talk all day non-stop and on leaving I’m in the car and I’m done. I might sing along to a song on the radio and when I get home chit chat with the cats, but other than that. No. And Hellz No.