hey, i need some bit recommendations!
no pelhams or full cheeks.
i’m looking for a d-ring bit for my hunter horse that is super sensitive in the mouth, so doesn’t like metal bits, but also needs leverage. i’m open to any recommendations. i’ve been trying her in a plain happy mouth snaffle for the past few weeks, but she just gets really heavy on my hands and is hard to slow down, she also doesn’t really get on the bit much. thanks!
This sounds like a strength and fitness issue with your horse, rather than a bitting issue. She needs to have the fitness to be able to carry herself, which you’ll achieve with more back-to-front flatwork. Lots of transitions and circles/turns - try not to go down a single long side without turning at some point to encourage her to collect. Keep riding her with leg into your hand - probably more leg than you think you need.
Putting in more properly done flatwork is likely to get you farther in this scenario than just changing the bit up. But it’s not going to be an instant fix - building that proper foundation will take time. When you’re doing transitions, make sure that they’re coming from a place of collection - go from walk to canter without running through the trot. Go from trot to canter, but sit and collect the trot before asking for the canter, so she’s not running into it all strung out.
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she’s really good at flatwork- i had been riding her in a happy mouth pelham before and she could do all of this perfectly. but since she’s a hunter the pelham isn’t ideal and im looking for something similar to a pelham but in a d-ring
If you could only do it in a pelham and can’t do it in a milder bit, then there’s still room for growth. I’d bet that you’re using the curb rein quite a bit and she’s not actually carrying herself.
I understand the predicament - I also had a very sensitive mare who would get very heavy (my late trainer said that she “could pull Christ off the cross”), and I spent many years playing bit roulette with her. But you know what actually made the difference? Hill work and more involved flatwork.
I personally like a Waterford bit for a lot of situations, this being one of them, but it’s not going to address the root of the issue.
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You say this, but earlier you said she doesn’t go on the bit. If you can’t ride your horse working over its back, on the aids and adjustable in a snaffle, you are not “really good at flatwork.”
Find a mouthpiece your horse doesn’t hate, and ride with consistent, flexible contact. Do lots and lots of transitions, staying straight and in front of the leg. Horses who hang or run are often behind the leg, despite how it may feel. Develop carrying power from the hind legs, with your leg and body, less hands.
Or put your Pelham back on and ignore advice about proper flatwork. There is no d ring snaffle that is soft and will magically put your horse on the bit, lighten, and create self carriage.
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That statement makes no sense. She’s a hunter. A pelham is a good bit for a hunter. Or, if she needs a D-ring, what about an Uxeter?
That’s AFTER you’re working as @supershorty628 suggests. 
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This.
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I agree with everyone else that this is really a training issue, but since that’s been covered let’s unpack the bit part. I think you should spend some time reading up on different types of bits and their purposes and come up with a clearer idea of what you’re looking for from a new bit, and what’s actually realistic. There’s a huge range of options out there and diving down the rabbit hole will help you make more informed choices on what to try.
For example, why have you landed on a D ring but ruled out a full cheek? Both of those are pretty standard in the hunters, and understanding why your horse prefers one but not the other may help you. You won’t find a D ring bit that provides leverage unless it’s modified with hooks or something, which would kind of defeat the purpose of looking for a more “conventional” bit for the hunter ring and you’d probably be better off sticking with the Pelham. One of the main reasons people gravitate towards Ds in the hunters is because they show off a horse that can go around pleasantly in a snaffle. Your horse can’t do that right now, which is where the training comes in.
The mouthpiece is where you’re going to get most of the finessing to suit your individual horse. You say she doesn’t like metal which is a start. Do you know the general shape of her mouth, does she have a low palette/fat tongue/etc? What type of happy mouth is she in now, and what was the mouthpiece on the Pelham? How many different bits have you tried? Different shapes, different metals, different non-metals? Have you messed with the thickness? Horses can have very specific preferences for bits that don’t always make sense on paper, the best way to figure it out is to try a bunch of different things and pay attention to the reactions.
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Judge here…why on earth would you say the pelham is not ideal for the hunters? If your horse goes better in it, why not just keep her in it?
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I’m also not understanding why you’re hesitant on the Pelham, especially as that would typically be accepted in the hunter ring with minimal downside.
A baby Pelham like this one would be a great bit to try. In a perfect world, on two separate reins. Use the snaffle rein to provide a soft following contact, with a nice kind bit to use your legs to push into (true back to front). The curb rein should almost never be used, but in your situation perhaps to encourage a bit more softness and acceptance.
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Segunda D?
Lower the noseband, make it snug.
So tie the mouth shut and then work off of the roof of their mouth and to top it off drop the nose and so you are working on a more sensitive area of the face? Just making sure I’m understanding this recommendation
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seems like a harsh suggestion for what is seemingly a training issue
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I haven’t heard that one in a while. 've used it, because it describes my pony perfectly…which is why she goes in a liverpool with a tight curb chain.
There’s no legal D ring that has leverage. You’d have to use one with hooks or something. If you actually need leverage, keep her in the pelham.
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All that, AND poke their tongue with the bottom of the port. Super. /s
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I also would vote for a Waterford (although it is metal) in this situation if you want to avoid a pelham. A snaffle with a Dr. bristol link might be an option, but I worry that could irritate her with tongue pressure. You could also consider a leather bit since it would have some give to it which would make it harder to brace.
OP- is she heavy when only jumping or both on the flat and over fences?
Depending on how she goes, you could consider having a bridle for flatting and a bridle for jumping if she’s better to flat than over fences while you’re building fitness. Having 2 bridles to swap between based on what you’re doing that day may help bridge the gap while fitness develops.
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I wouldn’t be so harsh and jump to the conclusions that the OP does not work the horse correctly although of course no bit is gonna help with a skill gap. A video would be very helpful if OP feels comfortable sharing.
If the horse is hesitant to reach AND roots, it does sound like the horse is not too happy with the bit. It’s very counterintuitive but in our experience a lot of sensitive horses actually have fat tongues and low palates. The well meaning owners put a thick bit made of plastic or rubber because of the larger surface area and softer material making the horse even more sensitive because every little movement impinges on a structure and hurts them.
In order to make your horse comfortable your starting point should be determining how much bit thickness wise can your horse’s mouth accommodate and then whether the horse prefers tongue pressure (regular single and double jointed, waterfords) or bar pressure (mullens, mylers/tongue relief). I’d say overall it’s about 70/30 (tongue vs. bar) and there are some horses that are pretty in between.
About thickness: have you tried placing a finger where the bit sits? How roomy is it there between the tongue and the palate? If even one finger feels snug, keep the bit to 12mm and below, if 1 finger is just right do 12-15mm mouthpiece, and if it feels pretty roomy, you can do 15mm+ and perhaps happy mouth is not a bad idea.
Many horses root because it squeezes the tongue and makes room for their palate. Happy mouths are typically 18mm+ which will fit only a minority of horses with wide interdental spaces and not a very fat tongue.
If you’re uncomfortable with a metal bit, but determine that you need a thinner bit, those leather strap ones might be worth a try. I think sweet billy’s is a brand that’s popular these days. The action is similar to a Waterford. Will definitely help with leaning, but it’s harder to achieve steady contact with something that is shifting and wraps around the jaw.
Now that you’ve nailed down the thickness you can try (i.e. borrow before buy) a jointed bit vs. Mullen or Myler style bit. Normally someone at the barn will have something along the lines you can borrow for a ride. See what your horse prefers. Most will have a definite preference.
Finally bitting up with a Pelham is an option, but we normally recommend it when you already know your mouthpiece and are moving up and need more precision on bigger fences and it is becoming difficult to send the horse back on the hindquarters without really amplifying your seat and hands.
Sometimes using a corrective bit for a while works but horses learn pretty quickly “who’s who”. Even if you use the same mouthpiece, the pelham rotates forward whereas a Dee will rotate backwards giving two distinctive feels.
We are biased and will recommend against some of the harsh Dees like Peter Pletcher, Segunda or anything else with excessive pressure points as they are not very fair to the horse and can lead to tongue injuries. Unfortunately they are not that uncommon 
And if you can tell us what else you’ve tried so far and why you’re averse to metal bits, we could probably help narrow down a few recommendations.
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^This
Also- there is no D ring bit that “provides leverage”
ALSO- flatwork
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