I need to know how to deal emotionally with an injury that keeps me from riding for a long time.I broke my femur next to my hip socket end of February, 2017. I have been in pain all this time. I got a second opinion from another orthopedic surgeon and he said the top screw into the metal rod they put in my right leg was sticking out too far. He has seen other patients with the same problem and mine is the worst he ever saw. He recommended a trauma surgeon to have the pin removed. Now I won’t be able to ride for the healing time, which could be even longer. I just sold my wonderful hunter horse because I can’t get my leg over him to mount. I did keep my 14.3 registered Paint mare because she is very quiet and small. I am able to mount her and walk around. But I tire easily. My problem is my nerves and depression. I have ridden my entire life and jumped for over 30 years. I was fine until my accident. I just can’t imagine a life without horses.It is killing me. What can I do about this? I am seeing a therapist for depression, but it does not help much. What can I do?
Thank you!!!
this is difficult. I went thru this - I broke my neck in Nov, 2011 and haven’t ridden since. It took me a long time to get over the longings.
Maybe you can find something to interest you besides horses? I did a lot of fiber crafts, so I finally jumped big time into it.
it sounds like you might be able to ride again once healed.
so sorry.
I had to give up riding in 2000 when my rheumatoid arthritis made it impossible. I mourned for a few years, then took up driving in 2003. I still missed riding, but it was great being able to get horses back in my life.
I’ve since had to give up even driving, and it makes me nuts. My pony is retired too, and he doesn’t mind that at all. I do get to lavish attention on him still, so that helps.
Rebecca
Don’t give up on the therapist. Talk therapy is very important. If you aren’t on medication, consider seeing a medical provider, preferably a psychiatrist, to add medication to the equation. I am biased toward psychiatrists because they are the experts in helping their patients find the right meds – there are so many these days. The most commonly known, like Prozac for example, help a lot of people, but not everyone. I was referred to a great MD who helped me finally get on the right combination of meds for bipolar and attention deficit disorder. I got beyond some severe depressive episodes as well as the mania, and now people tell me I’m calm and level headed which is not how I have seen myself in the past. You won’t need to be on them forever, but smoothing out your emotions will help you get through this stage.
Don’t give up on your riding! We have a woman at our barn whose draft cross mare came to a screeching halt at the trot and launched her hard enough that she broke her hip. She had complications that included necrosis of the bone, which led to a hip replacement. More complications, and she had to have a revision of that procedure. The recovery took quite a while but she persevered. If you saw her walk down the aisleway today you would have no clue what happened. She keeps four of her horses at home and rides regularly, including that mare that tossed her.
If you are getting on your Paint mare, then you are getting there. You don’t have to go beyond your comfort zone. If you get on and go 2 steps and your nerves start to act up or fatigue starts to set in, get off, and try again the next day. Maybe after 30 years of jumping you’ll decide that flatwork is fine because it keeps you in horses and riding. That’s a positive factor to focus on.
Have confidence that you will deal with this. We are all rooting for you!
Nevertheless, she persisted.
Wishing you the best.
I have had nothing as difficult as what you are dealing with, but did have two knees replaced, a hip replaced, and a shoulder rebuilt all subsequent to each other a year or two apart. During the non-riding times I did a couple of things --I watched endless DVDs about horse training --some were good, some were bad, but I think I found something useful in each, even if it was something I would never do --I then made up training plans for my horses to add something new to their current ability --and even made up calendars and time lines (of course, nothing goes as planned with horses, but it gave me mentally something to do). When I was able, I went to the barn --first just to visit, then to groom, finally to start some in-hand work --very slow and very little at a time. I must say that I do (did) have four horses with much improved ground manners from that time. I did consider clicker training, but didn’t implement --would have been fun to see how well it worked. Ultimately, I slowly returned to the saddle. Now, after ten years of “being fixed” --pain, surgery, recovery, PT, and finally slow riding, I am 100% back in the saddle with three well-trained horses. One horse grew old and died in the last ten years, one is now only pasture sound (best ground horse ever! Still spend time doing in-hand activities with him) and two fabulous (at least to me) riding horses who walk-trot-canter-back-sidepass- and have smooth transitions. Oh, I also took up mounted archery --gave me a new focus and new riding friends. that seemed simpler than mounted shooting, roping, or reining (although I did that for awhile). Mounted archery I can do by myself with my horse. I do like to trail ride, but as I’ve lamented before --finding women my age who want to do more than walk and talk is a challenge. And in the winter I fox hunt. Sorry for your current hurt –
I’ve acquired a bunch of health issues thanks to Lyme, plus some injuries. Even if I could find somewhere here to take lessons, I physically wouldn’t be able to since I’m only comfortable in my saddle. I don’t have a riding horse anymore. Just my crazy old pony and 2 minis.
I have my horses at home, so I see them every day. Just hanging out in the barn or grooming them is nice. I’ve wanted to do some basic ground work with them, but some new health issue always crops up. I just went through a brutal 3 month Lyme treatment. Now the heart and asthma issues I thought were gone are back after being a non-issue for 10 years.
The minis are a lot of fun. Very silly and active. At this point, I love the minis so much that I don’t know if I’d give them up in favor of riding again.
{{{MASSIVE HUGS!!!}}} to those of you living with things that prevent riding.
SUX Bigtime!
I just got back from visiting a friend who rode her entire life (now 75yo).
We showed H/J together in the 80s, she went on to have her own farm.
At one time 6 horses there plus she drove carriages in Shipshewana.
She & another woman friend went on 2-3week camping trips with their horses all over the US & she did the Red Rock ride while she was still able to sit a horse.
5 knee replacements later + one riding accident that punctured a lung & got her airlifted off her own farm… she has thrown in the towel.
Still has 3 horses that DH takes care of - pasture-kept so minimal upkeep.
She has the BEST attitude ever & freely admits anti-depression meds get a lot of credit.
I loved jumping too. Crosscountry was my Most.Fun.Ever!
But I lost my TB partner in 2009 & none of the horses I’ve had since can give me what he did O/F.
My own age & laziness keep me from riding as much as I could/should.
But like others here said: even if all I do is feed & groom it is enough.
So, OP, don’t give up - you have a long rehab ahead but there is light at the end of your tunnel.
Get yourself fixed, give yourself time to heal & then decide if riding is in your future.
Get the hardware out. You will not regret it. I had a tibial plateau fracture in Jan 2015. Got the hardware out May 2017, and it just keeps getting better. PT is your friend!
Forgot to add, I had two plates and twelve screws removed, and I was off crutches in a week. Healing time was nowhere near what it was the first time, so check with your doctor.
Hmm…I wonder if you could find some other activity to do with your horse while you are healing. I completely empathize with your situation, and I understand depression and anxiety. It sucks, and when your outlet is riding and you can’t use it, that makes it even tougher.
You didn’t say whether or not you will be walking or can walk, but I assume that will come earlier in the recovery time. How versatile is your paint? Could you guys take up driving or even in-hand work - you could do obstacles or agility exercises. You could teach her tricks. Even going for a walk could be therapeutic, again, depending on how much you will be able to do.
Otherwise, even from crutches or a wheelchair, you could work with your horse doing ground work and horsemanship exercises. It doesn’t matter if you have to quit after five minutes. You’re still doing something.
I know none of these above disciplines will replace jumping, but hopefully they can provide the outlet that you need and give you something to do. I’m sure there’s organizations and clubs dedicated to doing groundwork or driving, and you could probably join them to gain that same community feeling you get when going to a horse show.
I agree that you should stick to therapy. If you aren’t clicking with your therapist, try a different one. Proper coping mechanisms can help you greatly, as can talking to someone trained to teach you ways to deal with life’s challenging situations.
I wish you all my best, and if you have questions about mental health stuff, feel free to PM me.
Hijack!
BOLD is mine
Agree with most of what you suggest @CorazonLock … But…
As a longtime (40+yrs) Rider & relative Newb (less than 5yrs) Driver I have to add my $.02
People: Driving is NOT safer than riding - No Way, No How! :no:
I took a clinic with Muffy Seaton - who has competed at the Royal Windsor show - asked her how to safely stop a runaway.
Her Answer:
Aim for something solid.
You have only your Voice & hands to control a Driving horse.
With a ridden runaway you can safely bail.
With a Driver you may (may) be able to leave the cart uninjured, but then you leave a panicked animal with a projectile attached.
2Dogs steps off the Soapbox.
Second that.
Have driven some, was part of our riding instructor training and growing up in the mountains we had to pack, or drive our little wagons and sleds as our only way to get around with loads, so have some direct experience.
Was always told and with examples and know after seeing a few spectacular wrecks that driving is by far not that safe and, involving more than just a horse and human, has more to go wrong driving than merely getting on and riding one horse.
Is the nature of the beast.
I still think driving down any highway in a vehicle is way more risky any day.
All of us have to do it, as a driver or passenger, that’s life sometimes, risky.
I agree with what @2DogsFarm said. I’ve been driving since 2003, and my trainer drilled into me that it was a bigger risk than riding. She also drilled into me that an emergency dismount without control of the horse is almost never an OK option.
I gave it up last year because my mobility deteriorated to the point that I couldn’t count on being able to get out of my easy entry cart fast enough to get to my horse’s head in an emergency. Also, my condition got bad enough that the thought of incurring another injury was just too scary. Unfortunately, I came to that conclusion right after I was hit by a car while driving my horse. I should have gotten there before, of course, and avoided a big mess.
I didn’t make this point in my post upthread, and I should have. Driving is only an option when the risk of injury is acceptable and if one has enough mobility to deal with the unexpected. It worked for me for a lot of years, until it no longer did.
Rebecca
Do you have a trainer you work with? Or perhaps even someone trustworthy with horse experience? Perhaps you could go out to the barn, when you can, and do what you can. Maybe that’s just grooming or handling the horse in hand, maybe that’s just watching while a trainer or a friend works with her. I say that with the idea that potentially seeing someone else handling what you know to be a quiet horse, will fortify the idea for you that she is quiet and easy. Maybe that’s not applicable.
Maybe you could look into finding someone who works with mentally or physically impaired riders and have them out. They may have some exercises and ideas that a trainer who doesn’t typically work with riders with injuries or impairments may not have. Maybe, if you can, you just go back to basics with the horse. She won’t mind, I’m sure. Some days you go out and groom, some days you get on and saunter around for 10 minutes and put her away. With time, the nerves will start to dissipate. With time, your stamina may increase.
I liked Foxglove’s recommendation of watching anything horse-related. It could lend you some ideas or insight, or maybe just entertain you for awhile.
Apologies for the amount of maybes in this post. Spitballing a bit here. Best of luck!
I broke my femur in September 2016, and I still have pain most days, but it’s manageable. I have been riding my own horse since February 2017 and I still feel uncoordinated and frustrated in the saddle. When I was able to drive but not ride yet I did a lot of lunging in long lines, and just hanging out with my horse. The more time I spent with him, the less I missed riding.
What they may not have told you is after an accident like that, especially one where you were rushed off to the emergency room and which required a long recovery, the likelihood of anxiety and depression skyrockets. There have been several studies conducted on it and I had to find them myself because I was so dismayed to finally get on my feet again only to be hit with the worst general anxiety I’d ever felt, and a return of my depression I thought I’d sent to extended remission. I was also extremely prone to breaking down at work, my self esteem in the trade I work was extremely low. People with no history of either sometimes suddenly develop both after an overnight visit to the ER, and people who have already experienced anxiety/depression almost always experience a really rough patch. So I guess what I’m saying is that it’s normal to feel like you are (mentally) and that you will probably have to ride it out. Maybe you can discuss this with your therapist and or psychiatrist. Things picked up right around the 13 month mark for me. Physically, I am still disappointed at how sore I sometimes am and I sometimes feel like an uncoordinated toddler on my horse. My surgeon saw me at 6 months post surgery, asked me to move my leg around a little bit, and sent me on my way saying “We’ll probably never see each other for the rest of our lives!” I have followed a bunch of other people who have had similar riding accidents on instagram and several of them had to go back to get hardware removed, and they were up and recovering way faster than after the initial surgeries, with a lot less pain so that is definetely something to look into.
I just realized I had posted to my own thread, duh!!
