Dealing with confidence issues

[Grace67]

Been dealing with a bum knee that has continued to get worse over the past five years. Having a total knee replacement end of November. I’ve made all kinds of compromises and adjustments so that I could continue to ride…different horses, 3 step mounting block, different saddles, changed disciplines, etc but over that time I think I’ve lost some of my confidence. I enjoy riding my elder statesman who is a 21 year old fjord gelding. When I first purchased him a few years ago for my young son to learn to ride and be around horses I never imagined he’d become my “heart” horse but he has. He has done a little of everything in his life but still has a spring in his step and adjusts to whoever is riding him…super careful with beginners and yet still has “go” for me even though my “go” is sort of waning at this point.

I have my horses at home now after many years of boarding and over the past 4 years I’ve purchased and sold three horses, different ages/breeds/levels of experience. It was my intention to keep my old boy for my son and other family members to ride and purchase a new riding partner for myself to continue on with. However that being said I always find myself deciding that the “new” horse is not suitable and coming back to my old man. I currently have my older gelding and a nice little fjord mare and they get along fabulously, are easy keepers and will be simple for my family to care for while I’m recovering from my surgery for the next few months.

I’ve just come in from riding and found myself yet again going back to my old horse…have I lost all my confidence in my ability because of my bad knee? What happens when my old horse is too old? I keep comparing this mare to my gelding and making excuses about not riding her. In her defense she is a nice little mare but is somewhat green and needs more miles especially out on trails and now is probably not the time to be making comparisons. I guess I’m just feeling a bit down on myself right now and have all this unknown with the upcoming surgery.

How do you deal with confidence issues in relation to your physical issues? I don’t feel that I’m ready to give up riding completely, I enjoy riding…as long as its only my gelding.

[tollertwins]

I bought a dead quiet horse. My old guy got ‘too old’.

I was doing kinda OK before I ripped a pile of cartilage in one leg and then had it deteriorate badly over the course of a year. Was riding a pony who could be a little unpredictable at the time (also a greenie).

Had surgery, which wasn’t successful and left me on crutches. Ended up having that hip replaced about 10 months after the first surgery, and then had what seems like endless PT to go thru.

I just couldn’t adjust to riding a somewhat unpredictable horse. at. all. Broke my heart, but I sold him and bought what many people would consider a ‘dead-head’…e.g. one of those horses advertised as a ‘beginner friendly confidence builder’.

I was thinking that this was a bad idea (e.g. I’d be bored) till I rode her a couple times…and now I’m thinking that she’s probably just what the Dr. ordered.

[Grace67]

thanks tollertwins

just got back in from feeding and re-read my original post and I think it should be more along the lines of…what do you do when your “heart” horse gets too old and you don’t have confidence in other horses? This is weighing on my mind because I used to be able to ride different horses and their quirks didn’t affect me mentally like they do now.

I probably shouldn’t even worry about this for the next year or so as I’ll be rehabbing and can always throw my leg over my old guy and feel okay with it. I do worry about the little mare sitting around doing nothing though, she’s 7 and it would do her good to have more miles put on her in case I need to sell her at some point, that will have to wait until spring though as winter is just around the corner and I need a second horse to keep my old guy company.

Its reassuring to hear that I’m not the only one who feels this way…thank you.

[s65horsey]

This is going to sound weird but something that really helped my confidence was working with a karate instructor. He taught a kickboxing class and worked a lot on the mental aspect of all things in life. I rode the best I ever have ridden for the 2 years I took a kickboxing class from him. So perhaps you need to worry more about yourself and less about the trying to find a dead broke horse and still not trusting it.

I had a bad riding fall while working with him and I know I wouldn’t have been able to continue without hearing his voice. Now when I doubt myself I hear his voice and it usually helps.