Dear, Designated, Darling COTH

[AmarachAcres]

No no. Guys, come ON.

You’ve gone way overboard. This is getting truly ridiculous.

OP, get back to basics.

I’m sure after a few sessions of acupuncture all that will be left is to let him run free on the range with mustangs for a few months. Then have some cowboys go round him/her (depending how how his counseling goes after the surgery) up and bring in Guaci Pony Clubber to help you put him in a solid lip licking status.

If that doesn’t work I don’t know what to tell you. Nick P might though! You should ask him. He said so.

[roseymare]

Oh and be sure to have a halter on him while he runs free for those months…

[out_west]

Chinese herbs. Only!

[judybigredpony]

Give him Purple pop rocks and call your local animal communicater , while waiting for the Pop a rocks to clear customs make sure he is barefoot trimmed with square toes and get him some slip on shoes …have you tested his feed for Starch, carbohydrates Sugar soy sodium MSG and gluten …Best of luck send that blurry video…

[Argo]

[QUOTE=Lady Eboshi;8107828]
Can’t argue with THAT one–only I don’t do goats.[/QUOTE]

I don’t do goats, either.

Clearly, this is a case of Cushing’s. With a twist of Lyme.

[OverandOnward]

[QUOTE=Halt Near X;8107876]
…
And you STILL don’t understand that this is my heart horse and couldn’t possibly ever hurt me because he lurrrrves me.
…[/QUOTE]

Well but it was an accident. He was puzzling out what hormones the oil scents were inducing in his body while memorizing the inspirational quotes on the posters in the grooming stall, both at the same time, when the acupuncturist made the teeniest little mistake and his sudden flight-or-fight adrenaline rush overwhelmed everything.

Also if you had been wearing the recommended steel-toed riding boots instead of those hippy sandals you would still have your toes.

So none of it is his fault. So it must be your fault, because it has to be someone’s fault.

Let us now deconstruct your inner magnum psyche and tell you how you MUST change to have any hope of helping your horse express his lurrrve in a constructive and fully-bonded manner. Then you can go back to making videos of kissing the bottom of his hoof while lying underneath him.

[californianinkansas]

[QUOTE=AmarachAcres;8108827]
No no. Guys, come ON.

You’ve gone way overboard. This is getting truly ridiculous.

OP, get back to basics.

I’m sure after a few sessions of acupuncture all that will be left is to let him run free on the range with mustangs for a few months. Then have some cowboys go round him/her (depending how how his counseling goes after the surgery) up and bring in Guaci Pony Clubber to help you put him in a solid lip licking status.

If that doesn’t work I don’t know what to tell you. Nick P might though! You should ask him. He said so.[/QUOTE]

His name is “Anthony” now. Seriously.:sigh:

[GaitedGloryRider]

[QUOTE=Halt Near X;8107876]

I put Twinkle Toes on his hooves tonight. I’m sure he’ll be fine in the morning.[/QUOTE]

Twinkle Toes is stripper glitter for horses. So trashy. No wonder your horse hates you.

[AmarachAcres]

[QUOTE=californianinkansas;8109158]
His name is “Anthony” now. Seriously.:sigh:[/QUOTE]

Well, I guess that is better than Dick E.

They all rhyme!

[classicrocky]

[QUOTE=GaitedGloryRider;8109214]
Twinkle Toes is stripper glitter for horses. So trashy. No wonder your horse hates you.[/QUOTE]

Great, now look what you started! Don’t be surprised if you find a pole in his/her stall…

[Albertabound]

Don’t let’s get all judge-ee about strippers and pole dancers. There’s good money in that and how else is he supposed to pay his way thru college?

Sheesh!

[Belair]

[QUOTE=Halt Near X;8107876]

I put Twinkle Toes on his hooves tonight. I’m sure he’ll be fine in the morning.[/QUOTE]

What color Twinkle Toes? Sparkles or shimmer? Did you even ask him if he LIKED that color? Sheesh! No consideration for his feelings!

[Belair]

[QUOTE=GaitedGloryRider;8109214]
Twinkle Toes is stripper glitter for horses. So trashy. No wonder your horse hates you.[/QUOTE]

Lol don’t tell my mare that! I’ve been waiting for a good time to use it!

[GoneAway]

[QUOTE=californianinkansas;8109158]
His name is “Anthony” now. Seriously.:sigh:[/QUOTE]

I wonder if he’s still a stone support structure for his local community.

[californianinkansas]

[QUOTE=GoneAway;8109356]
I wonder if he’s still a stone support structure for his local community.[/QUOTE]

slow clap:lol:

[gumtree]

[QUOTE=GaitedGloryRider;8109214]
Twinkle Toes is stripper glitter for horses. So trashy. No wonder your horse hates you.[/QUOTE]

Easy now, we have a horse nick named Twinkle Toes. At least we did yesterday, haven’t check his paddock this morning.

And he looks great in his Dolly Parton wig.

[ReveilleandRinsie]

Look. How can you know anything about this horse if you haven’t seen someone stand on his back? That’s the obvious proof of a broke horse.

You can put Twinkle Toes on a horse, but it’s still a horse. Like the lipstick and the pig. Stand on his back and THEN I’ll believe he’s that good.

[molly8it]

You have all missed the most obvious solution. First, OP needs to buy a pair of Parlantis from a dubious online retailer. Then, find a position as a working student with a BNT, and show their expensive brand-name horses for them. This will make OP a Very Important horse-world person, and a Very Important horse-world person’s horse would never DARE be lame. Duh.

Team Guac

[macmtn]

At which point op’s horse will have decamped for greener pastures and someone who will get it it’s own facebook page

cause. You know…it didn’t happen without selfie pics…

[SecondInCommand]

[QUOTE=GoneAway;8109356]
I wonder if he’s still a stone support structure for his local community.[/QUOTE]

Ionic, Doric, or Corinthian?

Is the OP’s horse in a Pasture Paradise? Or some horribly inferior alternative?