Dear QHSM

You sound like quite a dear soul. QHSM is gratified to learn that you have an owner who understands you … and that you are a smart enough horse to appreciate your owner.

QHSM thinks that that is quite the Christmas list you have there. You must have been thinking about it for a long, long time. So you are a contemplative horse; that is an admirable trait.

QHSM will be sure your owner sees your list. She firmly believes that at least some of your wishes will come true.

Merry Christmas!

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.

This is so cute, I wish I had a horse who could write to other horses.

EMMA
http://emmapony.diaryland.com

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Dearest Sparkling-Nosed Chester…

QHSM, alas, does not “do” jumpers … alas, QHSM seldom rides at all these days (she is much more into the lead-'em and feed-'em school of horse ownership) … but I, Beezer, ride jumpers!

Now, about that bit… QHSM thinks that while it is very admirable that you look after your mummy so well, she detects the slightest hint of a naughty streak in you for asking for a milder bit. (Someday, you must ask Merry what happened the time she ordered Beezer to buy a certain fancy bit for Beezer’s mare and the “amusement” that ensued.) In good conscious, Chester, QHSM cannot promise you a rubber snaffle
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, in that case… maybe you would like to come show me in the jumpers??? I would be very, very good and go very fast for you… and I am good at those funny turns where you see a short turn over the top of a jump…you know, the ones where the coach-person says “go around” but you see the inside turn at the last minute?

And if you got me that rubber snaffle, you could pull all you want to on the reins without worrying about hurting my tender mouth!!

We could have a lot of fun, and if I don’t have to get braided, you would have plenty of mane to grab if you need to!!

Love,

Chester

Jump High, Go Fast

Content and very pleased with my new Rambo Turn Out Sheet!

Therefore, I am truly apologetic to bother you, DEAR QHSM, with the teensy dilemmas and dramas which unfold daily in our lovely barn which Mummy wishes to be heaven on earth for horses.

It has finally rained and gone cooler. Thank goodness, as we cannot take off our winter coats when the days are over warm. Cool is good but those colts do insist on playing nasty games in muck.

I am NOT tattling on the boys, dear QHSM, but some one needs to tell them that a week before gift day for Mummy is NOT the appropriate time for Wings and Pockets to play “Race to the Barn Door”

Mummy and my Mr. Wings worked hard to put down an inadequate amount of stone dust so there would not be icky sticky slippery mud where Mummy has to walk to give me my hay.

Wings and Pockets are making a VERY big mess and NOT being considerate! They are playing Indian Pony and Cavalry Horse and practicing sliding stops (as if Mummy would ever want them to be with RF and VTrider who have gone silly with unfortunate mate choices!)

I think those nice ladies will feel MUCH better after they go shopping in a few weeks!

Dear QHSM, Wings and Pockets are not jealous that I have already received a nice, new and better than theirs, turn out sheet. They do not seem to have coherent thoughts. They ARE colts!

Perhaps you could suggest to Mummy that I would not mind if they used MY trailer again to go to that park where they get tired and scolded for naughty behavior. I have noticed that Mummy is MUCH happier after she has been to that place with them. NOT as pleased as she was with me at Warrenton and the Middleburg Classic but I understand the circumstances. Young Colts cannot be counted on to have proper decorum in the same nice places where precious fillies can fit in so well.

Thank you again for my nice sheet. Beezer is a VERY good channeler but I think that nice Merry perhaps would have made my new sheet the proper size. I am not complaining, though, as I will be a BIG girl soon!

Hi!
This is Bailey!

QHSM…I need so much stuff!!! I heard you are the BEST person to come to. That fat guy in the suit apparently doesn’t have a clue about horses.

Heather and I just started doing horse shows together. She rides me with her legs on each side and then she rides me with both legs on one side. She rides SO MUCH better with both legs on one side.

The both legs one side style requires so much extra stuff!

She needs a sandwich box thing that hangs off the side of the saddle. She needs a long whip thing. She needs the right clothes.

Enough about her. Lets talk about me.

I could use a new halter. I am tired of wearing that orange colored leather one. Name plate optional. My registered name is Savage Angel, but Heather thinks thats plain awful (can’t say I disagree).

Square pads. Need more square pads. Some one should tell Heather red is NOT a conservative color.

Fancy HORSE shampoo. Heather gets the “urge” and I wind up smelling like a florist shop in June.

I need a nice BIG DEE snaffle. The one I wear right now is not big enough to show off my prety face.

I can never have enough treats. Apple, carrot, it doesn’t matter. I’ll even stick my tongue out and press it against you in gratitude. I might even let Navaho and Cake have one. Or, better yet, just send a few extra specifically for them so there is no argument. They aren’t always nice to me.

Hmmm…oh a flat bridle and breatplate. They don’t have to be really expensive, just nice. Used is totally acceptable.

I can’t think of anything else right now! I’m in Virginia too, so you can just ship all of our stuff together!

I’ve been very very good.

Perhaps you, a woman of high class and dignity, can help this noble old horse in this season of giving.

I am a tall, dark, handsome, and regal Thoroughbred. The first thing I would like is a name that reflects all of my charming qualities. This, this, this… Charlie Brown shudder is just embarrassing. All of the other geldings laugh and make fun of me, except for my best friend Chief (dear sweet Chief, I love the boy, but he’s an idiot… more on that later), who always says that “I’m a Good Man, Charlie Brown.” He always snickers after he says it, though, so I’m not quite sure if he’s serious or not.

As for Chief, I would like for you to get him a brain. The boy has about the same amount of brains as my mum. Scary thought, isn’t it?

Oh yes, and while you’re at it could you inject a few of those brain cells into mum? She sure could use them. I’m tired of jumping around cross country with her splattered on my neck. She gets kind of heavy after a while.

I would also like a trailer. The same one that Pistol wants. That boy has fine taste.

Oh and please, if you could, may I have a lifetime supply of those little powdered donut holes? That would be just slendid!

You see, I am not a hard horse to please. Just these few simple things would make me much happier. Hopefully you can find it in your heart to help me, as I will be eternally grateful.

Yours Truly,

Charles

P.S. for more info about my life, please see my profile! Thank you.

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh… PRESENTS? We get presents??! Oh, I am SO EXCITED! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh…

Oh, by the way, I am Chief, but someone here already has that name, so you can call me Chiefie The Goat. That is what the blonde lady who feeds all of us calls me, because I have horns. Really, I do! My red-haired-girl rubs them for good luck! I don’t really like being called a goat, or Chiefie… it really doesn’t suit a tough guy like myself. But these people do so many weird things, I just have to go with it.

Now, let’s see… my red-haired-girl has been kind to me the last Christmas or two. I got all new stuff because I am a teeny tiny Thoroughbred, and none of my big brother Rocky’s stuff fit me. (He’s retired and fuzzy, so he doesn’t have to wear blankets anymore, the lucky dog.) So I don’t really have much to ask.

I would, however, like some new playmates. I don’t understand it, but all of the other guys I’m turned out with are scared of me. I’m only 15.2 on a good day, and I haven’t hurt anyone too badly yet. I’m a nice guy… I’m just younger and faster than everyone else. So maybe QHSM could provide me with some other OTTB buddies to play with? None of these guys are fast enough to keep up with me.

Now, for my red-haired-girl… for goodness’ sake, please get her some spots for Christmas. I guess she wants to be like that little spotted pony she has… and boy! Is he a weird-looking thing! Anyway, she’s always looking for those spot things and can never seem to find them. I don’t know what they are, but for some reason she is always losing them when I play my favorite game – seeing how far away from the jump I can take off!

I think my red-haired-girl also needs to learn to steer! She is always trying to run me into these crazy obstacles that I have to jump! It’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but geez… I never know what’s next. All these logs, and scary ditches with monsters in them, and water… and then those brightly colored poles… anyway, please get the red-haired-girl a clue. She doesn’t know what she’s doing.

What else what else what else… I would like the red-haired-girl to spend more time with us. She always has to go do that “work” thing, when she should be playing with us!

That’s it, I think. I don’t want much. Maybe some carrots if you have room. I’m just happy that there’s grass in that big field I get to go out in every day!

Typed by Flipper, because Abby’s hooves are far to large for the keyboard…

Dear QHSM,
I have been a very good horse this year, although I have had some incidents that could mark me as “naughty”. Mark my words, though, these incidents are entirely to blame on small humans, dogs, and horse-eating trees, not to mention extremely thin pieces of metal that Mom tried to call a bit when she switched me to what she calls a “snaffle”. Personally, I think when you think of me for the good list, you should say “Ay” not “neigh”.
My list is, as follows:

  1. A new halter. I recently aquired a new hot pink one, but of course, a girl can never have enough.
  2. A concussion for Mom. She is talking about breeding me come spring to a stallion I have/will never meet. I find this entirely disturbing, not to mention having a foal will entirely ruin my girlish figure.
  3. A tent to go over my round bale. Obviously, I spend as much time as possible in front of this, but honestly, you’ve seen my gorgeous self, can you expect THIS to stand in the rain? I don’t think so! I mean, come on now, I used to only go outside in good weather, and now they expect me to stand outside in this weather, only to go inside when the evil trainer says so? huff I think not!
  4. Some lessons for mom. Honestly now, a horse with no experience, plus a mother, trying to jump? I think not. Mum works 4 nights a week, but still can not afford lessons, so we take a clinic once every month, but dear God it’s not enough! If I have to almost rear to get over a jump (heaven sakes, no I never stop dirty, or at all!) because she didn’t find my distance, I swear I’ll chew my stall door down to the hinges!
  5. And last but not least: A life time supply of carrots. For our riders are spoiled at my barn, we have an apple tree, but come winter and spring when they aren’t there, our hair-brained riders forget our treats, and we have to deal with them taking us to a nice patch of grass. Gratitude? I think not!

So please, dear QHSM, think of sweet faced, extremely beautiful, petite! (NOT SHORT!), Luv to B Cool Aka Abby when you browse the Christmas Lists

Ah, I must interject here that all the fillies writing to QHSM should be sure that their requests do NOT get inadvertently handled by Mr. QHSM, as he cannot tell the difference between one brown/bay horse or the other. Plus, he’s demonstrated a propensity for leaving the hose on and flooding out stalls.

Free gift with any holiday package shipped from sunny So. Cal.: Your choice of horse-sized sunglasses, tinted zinc oxide sunscreen for your pink nose, monogrammed crocheted ear bonnet, or a CD of the various local Hollywood types crooning their favorite equestrian-themed songs.

“Friends don’t let friends eat fish tacos.”

And PLEASE tell my mum to quit calling me SUGARLUMP!!!???!!!

You are a Polish Warmblood? I am a Trakehner, so we are very nearly related. Those of us from Eastern Europe must stick together, right?

You are not a beautiful shade of Chestnut, by any chance, are you? Since we are probably related somewhere way back, if you don’t mind, I would like to think of you as my uncle. Every horse needs a wise old uncle to turn to every now I then.

I just wanted to let you know that horses like us are very tough stock, and we live a long time – as long as ponies. I am only 14, but my father was 32 when he finally passed over the Rainbow Bridge. And he kept making babies up until nearly then, so how’s that for strong stock?

It is nice of you to be so kind to your sister, especially since she is a flighty Thoroughbred. I will try to learn from your wisdom and be nice to my sister Portia, too. I will hope for good health for Promise so that you and your mom can stop worrying, and so there is more money for your mom to spend on you.

(Sorry to butt in on your thread, QHSM, but I’m sure you will understand why I would like to talk to Red Storm.)

Hoping to be your friend,

Lucien

Thank you, Thank you Thank you!

Mummy brought my lovely Rambo Turn Out Sheet today! It is only a tiny bit large because I will soon be a Big Girl and is so very MUCH nicer than the one that Wings has.

Wings was VERY sweet to Mummy, not for presents, either, but because he truly is a NICE boy (even though he was COVERED in crusty stinky mud). He was good to be brushed with the nasty stiff dandy brush and he was very good to wear his old turn out sheet.

I am soooooo sorry that I was not nice to Pockets last week, he did not get new things and Mummy put my weanling sheet on him because it is drizzly out tonight.

Mummy scolded him because he did not wait for all of us and he made his stall door open before Mummy put out hay and gave us our night time treats. He was sorry, though and came back in while Mummy was busy with Wings.

I saw him sneaking back in but didn’t tell.

There, see, I am a very nice filly, full of consideration for my brother and our friend. Holiday Spirit! Mummy is happy, we are happy She brought a VERY large bag of carrots and we all got some!

please let me know when your beautiful proofs from Warrenton arrive? My Mom and Dad have called the photographer MANY times to no avail.
Your friend, who shall see you at Devon and Warrenton and Upperville, Piczazz

I have heard that now is the time of year to write requests for gifts. Having giving this idea careful consideration, I decided that I do not wish to send my list to someone who drives deer and brings apples to the barn. My Auntie Pat already brings apples, Golden Delicious, peeled, cored and quartered.

Although I was VERY GOOD this year, the gifts, treats and presents for me seemed to stop in mid-October. As perfect as I was for the Labor Day Warrenton Horse show, as soon as the Middleburg Classic was over (for which I had to actually sleep in the trailer), the special presents stopped completely! Even the trailer that my mummy said was mine has been given to Wings and Pockets!

In case you don’t know I am in Virginia so I have heard quite a lot about Voodoo. It seems to me that Californians have a very strong voodoo because I heard my mummy say that the VA clique has a captive Californian but, as soon as N2Jumpers said that she was cold here, the weather has been very warm! So warm that I DID NOT GET A NEW TURNOUT SHEET! Pockets didn’t, either, but that does NOT make me feel better! Wings has a stable blanket, two New Zealand Rugs AND a turnout sheet.

Mummy keeps going through nasty boxes of things that she says are DEAR GALLEY. I DO NOT like wearing nasty blankets that don’t fit just because Mummy believes some help hint columnist’s ideas that yearlings can wear hand me down clothes.

Merry and Beezer talk about the nice things that they do for their horses and, I must say, Dear QHSM you have raised a pair of very nice fillies. I would say that even if I were not about to show you my list of presents that I hope you will have FedExed to me ASAP.

I would like for N2Jumpers to go back to California so the Virginia weather will make my grass crispy and I can have a new turn out sheet. I even hope that one of the DEAR GALLEY blankets fits Pockets so he won’t have to wear my weanling sheet (which looks pretty silly on him even though Mummy says it is lucky the girths fit!)

I would like a Velvet DQ of my very own. I like to jump things because it makes my Mummy say remarkable things but I think that Velvet and I would be very good stable mates. I would ask for Robby Johnson but he is waiting very nicely for his own new foal and I don’t think that he is available. A Robby Johnson of my own would be nice, though, should one come up. That is why I am writing to you rather than the fat deer man.

For my next present, I hope you will send me two more sections of genuine sheepskin to cover my nice halter. Mummy is a fritter head and has taken the nice 5 piece set that Mr. Wings bought me and put it on wrong so the throat latch of my halter is bare.

Speaking of my halter, no one has EVER had made for me a nice brass nameplate from a store, not even the tack trailers at the horse show where I LOOKED IN MYSELF! I saw the lovely things in the shops but Mummy MADE ME STAY OUT!!! She made me VERY MADDIE but I still behaved with decorum. Ask Colin. She was there for the Middleburg Classic and she was good, too.

Now that I have mentioned the nameplate, I hope it does not distress you, Dear QHSM, to know that NOT one of us has a stall nameplate! Mummy actually took COTH laser printed nametags and wrote our barn names on them in marker pen (and not a tasteful color, either!) so that is what is on our stall doors. She did that so some scary lady would remember who was who when she came to feed us. Mummy and Mr. Wings thought they would go away for a night! I am getting too upset remembering that. Thank goodness for Auntie Pat.

Oh, my list. Yes. I saw those nice things in the tack trailers. Dear QHSM, did you KNOW that there are more than one kind of horse cookie? I would like a sampler. A ballotin box would be nice, like the Godiva chocolates that Mr. Wings forgot to get Mummy last week for her birthday. I can’t ask Mummy for anything right now, she is very testy. (She actually went to Horse Country Saddlery and FORGOT to buy ANYTHING for me!)

I would also like a new stall guard. Mummy was mean and made mine so I can’t get out by going under it anymore. I heard her say that I was growing really fast and that it was so unseasonably warm out that she wasn’t going to buy me a new turnout sheet just yet but I KNOW she did something tricky with my old stall guard to make Mr. Wings (My Hero) think that I was growing up. She makes me very annoyed and IT IS HARD to be a good yearling!

So, Dear QHSM, I do not have a big list. I have even asked for presents to be delivered to nasty Pockets and Wings the big goof. They can have stall nameplates. I did not ask for the very very nice things that I got to see in the tack trailers at the “A” shows, either.

I do hope that you will take N2Jumpers back with you so the fox hunting season isn’t totally done for. It is too warm here and I don’t like it!

You can send my packages c/o Kennett Square, Cavallo Farm, Chantilly, VA so my Mummy doesn’t feel too badly about the terrible way she has ignored me ever since my exemplary performance at the Middleburg Classic. I did my best, what is a filly to do?

Ever since then, I have tried to focus Mummy’s attention back on me. I have grown my mane very thick, very fast so I can be a good girl to have it PULLED! I have put my right front leg through the fence so she would feel badly about how I hurt. I even made sure she would remember me by having a vet bill with my name listed first!

Dear QHSM, I promise to continue being as good as a girl can be in Virginia!

P.S. You can send my gifts and treats now. Wings and Pockets things can go ground shipment.

[This message was edited by Proof Set on Dec. 04, 2001 at 11:15 PM.]

I mean, I have a very sensitive white nose… the end of my blaze is always getting sunburnt, especially out in my big field! But, I’m a BOY.

Well, actually mummy says the g-word… but I still do a really good stallion impression. Wanna see??

This Christmas, I’d like dear QHSM to talk my Mummy into doing the jumper division. I like to go fast and I can jump anything… well, I can jump anything SHE’D be willing to jump, anyway.

I don’t care if she finds whatever it is she’s “looking for” when we head for a fence… (what’s down there, anyway? I never see anything special near those ground lines - but boy, you’d think there were carrots or something at the bottom of every jump!) but maybe you could get it for her.

Sometimes she is so busy looking for whatever it is, I have to take off at some pretty strange places - of course, I am always careful to make sure that I catch her in my tack when we get to the other side. Don’t you think I deserve some extra treats for that? Sometimes, dear QHSM, it isn’t so easy to do!

Also, I’d like more of that yummy alfalfa hay. The other stuff just isn’t nearly as good. I try to be a good boy and eat it all up so those nice guys with the cart will give me more, but mum and the trainer-lady just laugh and say something about a Hoover? What’s that about?

I really like my new pasture buddies; maybe you could bring us all some more dogs to chase. That would be really fun, and I’d be willing to share.

And since I’ve been really, really good this past year … even when mummy has wanted to do that awful, boring crawling-canter over little jump stuff… in a division where I have to be BRAIDED for g*dsakes… maybe you could bring me another of those nice, fat soft rubber snaffles? It would really make my life easier; it’s awfully hard to run thru mummy’s hand with that, that… that corkscrew thing in my mouth!

Thank you, and have a lovely holiday.

Love,

Chester

Jump High, Go Fast

[This message was edited by The Notorious Chester on Dec. 05, 2001 at 03:40 PM.]

QHSM can well understand your “disappointment” in your name, but you should take pride in the fact that you were named after one of the most beloved characters in modern times. Why, all around the world, people know your name! QHSM thinks that this is a fine, fine thing.

Now, as for all the other horses teasing you … well, QHSM will share what she always told Merry and Beezer when they complained about unkind classmates: They are just jealous. They should be so lucky to have a name that brings a smile to people everywhere!

QHSM can tell that you are a very intelligent horse. Perhaps, rather than requesting more brain cells for your friend Chief and your mum, you could just share more of your obvious knowledge of the world? After all, experience is the best teacher … and mind-builder!

QHSM will add your name to the list of those requesting a new trailer for Christmas. (Who knew those would be such a popular item!) And as for those powdered donut holes … I think, Charles, that if you didn’t cringe quite so much when your mum calls you “Sugarlump,” you’d find that you would probably get more powdered donut holes than even you can eat.

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.

I was nice to Pockets ALL weekend!

Dear QHSM, did you send a tiny note to my Mr. Wings? I heard him tell my Mummy that I could have a new turn out sheet TODAY Thank you, Thank you!

N2Jumpers can stay, too. She is nice and gave me a carrot. I wasn’t very sweet and dear when she visited me but I was VERY hungry and they interupted my breakfast by being there in my aisle and talking. I would be Very dear and nice if she comes to visit again.

Is that better? Do I get my other presents?

First, dear Proof Set, QHSM is happy to learn that your owners are finally living up to your expectations. She hopes they continue to do so!

Lucien and Red Storm: QHSM could hardly take issue with your “butting in,” as you so charmingly put it, when she would like to take a small measure of credit for bringing uncle and nephew together.

Chester: Beezer thinks you and she would deal very well together. Beezer is FAMOUS around here for coming up with very, ahem, “creative” jumper turns. (Her coach, on more than one occasion, has been heard to mutter, “Well, I wouldn’t have thought of that…” ) Beezer also has a fondness for horses who like to play tug of war.

Sierra: Is it OK for QHSM to call you by that nickname? Or do you prefer the more formal Exclusive Arrangement? Either way, QHSM has a very soft spot for all expectant mothers. She will do whatever she can to make your wishes come true.

Chiefie: But OF COURSE you get presents. All good horses do. QHSM will be sure you get “doubles” on the carrots. She will work on getting you faster playmates; you sound like a horse who needs a challenge! As for your little red-haired girl’s obsession with seeing spots … well, that’s a common obsession among riders. It’s not, dear Chiefie, so much that she wants to WEAR the spots herself, she simply wants to FIND them so she has a better idea when and where to ask you to jump from. QHSM has learned that “finding spots” is a skill horse and rider best develop together so they reach agreement.

Oh, young, sweet Briana: Chewing a stablemate’s tail is a natural compulsion; it is nothing to feel too badly over (besides, the humans were probably more upset than your Auntie Blaze). You sound like you’re growing up to be a lovely young lady. QHSM will make sure that your humom gets your (very sensible and sweet) request for horse cookies for the whole barn.

And now, Bambie and Alice: QHSM is VERY used to dealing with squabbling siblings. She is not above sending you to your stalls for a timeout!

QHSM thinks that the two of you need to learn that bickering, slinging insults and trying to one-up each other are not conducive to good family dynamics. She knows for a fact that you have a kind, loving owner who appreciates each of you for your own unique talents. QHSM is not certain that she can, in good conscience, work on getting your wishes granted until you two promise to work on getting along better with each other. Deal?

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.

Dearest QHSM,

As a nearly perfect grey TB mare, my Christmas requests should be readily fulfilled by my owner. But, alas, she does not fully appreciate me, so I am asking your assistance.

Please let my owner know that she must sell those horrid shipping boots she bought for me on sale! . I do not like them! They make walking difficult and, more importantly, they do not match my blankie. And I’m sure you can appreciate how a girl must be color co-ordinated! Especially a pretty grey lady like myself. I have tried, in vain, to pin my ears at my owner when she approaches me with those dreadful things. She must sell them. She must!

Also, please convince her that she is not to practice mane pulling on my lovely mane. I realize she is a beginner and is struggling (she struggles a lot) to learn these things. But don’t you agree that she should practice on a school pony or someone not nearly as beautiful as me? I am muuuuch too lovely to have an uneven coif! I don’t like it. Again, I do my best to pin my ears and get her to stop (I would never try to bite… I am almost perfect), but she just keeps going! Can you believe the nerve???

I would also like a new halter. I have several, but they do not properly flatter my delicate, feminine bone structure. Let the coarse geldings have mine!

Finally, as I sure you can understand, I do not receive nearly enough golden delicious apples. Sometimes my owner is very naughty and brings me some inferior kind. I eat them. But don’t you agree an almost perfect mare such as myself deserves only the best?

I have been very good. I am almost perfect. I pack my struggling rider around with only a few spooks (and they were at very scary things). I take her over all the jumps even when she doesn’t help me at all. I never buck or get mean, even when she deserves it. Don’t you think I should have pretty and delicious things?

Thank you most sincerely,

Cassie

QHSM has not yet mastered the art of computers … even though one (now covered in dust) sits on her desk in her home office. So allow me to do the honors for her.

To ensure that you get the proper halter and lead rope (because I see, from a previous post, that you were saddled with – pardon the pun – an ill-fitting halter earlier), what color are you? Because in true QHSM fashion, every horse at El Ranchito is outfitted in a matching halter and lead rope that complements its color!

And since QHSM believes that no halter is complete without a nameplate, how would you like yours inscribed? Is Proof Set (which I like!) your “given” name, i.e. on your papers? And do you want your breeding listed too (QHSM likes to do that for bragging rights purposes) or do you want to have a second line that says something that gets across your personality? You know, like your motto on your profile page.

QHSM can certainly arrange for a smorgasbord of horse cookies. Do you have a particular favorite taste? Because you know – or maybe you don’t, seeing as how you’ve been neglected so badly – you can get carrot-based, apple-based, oat-based, molasses-based, hard, soft … well, a young filly of your obvious intellect will get the idea that you’ve been badly let down in the treat department!

Blankets, too, she can do. Why, we can’t have a thin-skinned, QUALITY girl like you shivering in the cold! But it will have to match your halter and lead rope. Would you like to come to sunny Southern California instead? QHSM always has room for one more, and she specializes in baby-talk, back-scratching and treat-feeding. I’m not sure we can guarantee you a Velvet-quality DQ, but we have plenty of DQs out here; I am sure one would meet with your approval.

I will ask Hammie if he would allow someone else to have some small piece of the sheepskin market so that QHSM can send you the fluffy throat latch pieces (I am sooooo sorry that Mr. Wings put your set on wrong!). You have to understand, though, that Hammie finds sharing a difficult concept to grasp. But QHSM will try.

A stall guard? I am sure QHSM can arrange that. Again, though, she will want to make it color-coordinated.

I fear, though, that your N2Jumpers problem might be, well, a bit of a problem. Beezer and Merry don’t like the idea of another rider horning in on their QHSM. Is that a deal/list-breaker?

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.