Dear QHSM

[Proof_Set]

I have heard that now is the time of year to write requests for gifts. Having giving this idea careful consideration, I decided that I do not wish to send my list to someone who drives deer and brings apples to the barn. My Auntie Pat already brings apples, Golden Delicious, peeled, cored and quartered.

Although I was VERY GOOD this year, the gifts, treats and presents for me seemed to stop in mid-October. As perfect as I was for the Labor Day Warrenton Horse show, as soon as the Middleburg Classic was over (for which I had to actually sleep in the trailer), the special presents stopped completely! Even the trailer that my mummy said was mine has been given to Wings and Pockets!

In case you don’t know I am in Virginia so I have heard quite a lot about Voodoo. It seems to me that Californians have a very strong voodoo because I heard my mummy say that the VA clique has a captive Californian but, as soon as N2Jumpers said that she was cold here, the weather has been very warm! So warm that I DID NOT GET A NEW TURNOUT SHEET! Pockets didn’t, either, but that does NOT make me feel better! Wings has a stable blanket, two New Zealand Rugs AND a turnout sheet.

Mummy keeps going through nasty boxes of things that she says are DEAR GALLEY. I DO NOT like wearing nasty blankets that don’t fit just because Mummy believes some help hint columnist’s ideas that yearlings can wear hand me down clothes.

Merry and Beezer talk about the nice things that they do for their horses and, I must say, Dear QHSM you have raised a pair of very nice fillies. I would say that even if I were not about to show you my list of presents that I hope you will have FedExed to me ASAP.

I would like for N2Jumpers to go back to California so the Virginia weather will make my grass crispy and I can have a new turn out sheet. I even hope that one of the DEAR GALLEY blankets fits Pockets so he won’t have to wear my weanling sheet (which looks pretty silly on him even though Mummy says it is lucky the girths fit!)

I would like a Velvet DQ of my very own. I like to jump things because it makes my Mummy say remarkable things but I think that Velvet and I would be very good stable mates. I would ask for Robby Johnson but he is waiting very nicely for his own new foal and I don’t think that he is available. A Robby Johnson of my own would be nice, though, should one come up. That is why I am writing to you rather than the fat deer man.

For my next present, I hope you will send me two more sections of genuine sheepskin to cover my nice halter. Mummy is a fritter head and has taken the nice 5 piece set that Mr. Wings bought me and put it on wrong so the throat latch of my halter is bare.

Speaking of my halter, no one has EVER had made for me a nice brass nameplate from a store, not even the tack trailers at the horse show where I LOOKED IN MYSELF! I saw the lovely things in the shops but Mummy MADE ME STAY OUT!!! She made me VERY MADDIE but I still behaved with decorum. Ask Colin. She was there for the Middleburg Classic and she was good, too.

Now that I have mentioned the nameplate, I hope it does not distress you, Dear QHSM, to know that NOT one of us has a stall nameplate! Mummy actually took COTH laser printed nametags and wrote our barn names on them in marker pen (and not a tasteful color, either!) so that is what is on our stall doors. She did that so some scary lady would remember who was who when she came to feed us. Mummy and Mr. Wings thought they would go away for a night! I am getting too upset remembering that. Thank goodness for Auntie Pat.

Oh, my list. Yes. I saw those nice things in the tack trailers. Dear QHSM, did you KNOW that there are more than one kind of horse cookie? I would like a sampler. A ballotin box would be nice, like the Godiva chocolates that Mr. Wings forgot to get Mummy last week for her birthday. I can’t ask Mummy for anything right now, she is very testy. (She actually went to Horse Country Saddlery and FORGOT to buy ANYTHING for me!)

I would also like a new stall guard. Mummy was mean and made mine so I can’t get out by going under it anymore. I heard her say that I was growing really fast and that it was so unseasonably warm out that she wasn’t going to buy me a new turnout sheet just yet but I KNOW she did something tricky with my old stall guard to make Mr. Wings (My Hero) think that I was growing up. She makes me very annoyed and IT IS HARD to be a good yearling!

So, Dear QHSM, I do not have a big list. I have even asked for presents to be delivered to nasty Pockets and Wings the big goof. They can have stall nameplates. I did not ask for the very very nice things that I got to see in the tack trailers at the “A” shows, either.

I do hope that you will take N2Jumpers back with you so the fox hunting season isn’t totally done for. It is too warm here and I don’t like it!

You can send my packages c/o Kennett Square, Cavallo Farm, Chantilly, VA so my Mummy doesn’t feel too badly about the terrible way she has ignored me ever since my exemplary performance at the Middleburg Classic. I did my best, what is a filly to do?

Ever since then, I have tried to focus Mummy’s attention back on me. I have grown my mane very thick, very fast so I can be a good girl to have it PULLED! I have put my right front leg through the fence so she would feel badly about how I hurt. I even made sure she would remember me by having a vet bill with my name listed first!

Dear QHSM, I promise to continue being as good as a girl can be in Virginia!

P.S. You can send my gifts and treats now. Wings and Pockets things can go ground shipment.

[This message was edited by Proof Set on Dec. 04, 2001 at 11:15 PM.]

[system]

dear QHSM
I, chief, have hijacked mom’s screen name to write this stuff,

First of all… I would like you to give my girlfriend, Sierra, a chewtoy, so she can stop biting me all the time. I’m sensitive, and it mars my coat!

I would also like more food. Peppermints, carrots, grain, sweetfeed, hay, any and all of it.

Can you give my mommy a higher paying job so she can work less and spend more time doing the important things, like feeding me? I’m on the verge of anorexia.

And while you’re at it, can you make my best friend Charlie Brown <snicker> be nice to me? He never shares his hay, and he always ignores me in the pasture. I have to go play with the mare and the pony <shudder>.

Oh, and can I have a pony? I want a pony.

[Bambi]

Bonjour!

Merci Proof Set for starting just zee sort of topic that I vant at thees time of year

There are many things that I can think of that I would wish for the Christmas day.

Perhaps this QHSM (or le Reine de Mom au Cheval as I vould say ) can help.

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>I would like to be a single horse again. For the past year I have shared my owner with this mare that I neither asked for nor wanted in the first place. She came for Christmas last year and never left Please relocate her for me
<LI>I am a show horse. I am meant to show. Therefore please write the boss of my owner and let them know how important it is that he gets more time of and holiday this year so that we may have some fun. I am tired of always staying at home.
<LI>I vould also like un nice bridle - it is not fair that Alice got one from Hadfields and I didn’t
<LI>Jair loves to bake. Please provide him with a copy of le recipes de cookies de chevaux

[/list]

Its a seemple list, no? I am easy to please

[Lovely_Alice]

Dear QHSM:

If it vill be better for mein Jair, I vill try to be nice to der French horse. He ist not all bad. If only he vere not so… French.

Ve vill be trying to get along better, however, because ve both vant Jair to haf more time to be mit us und to go to shows mit us. Jair spends too much time looking at rocks und things in der ground, vich I do not understand at all. He does not look for grass or water, only rocks. Wery strange, but I have come to be learning that humans are wery strange much of der time.

Also, I should be wanting to meet der Red Storm und der Lucien. They are Trakehnen, und soo are gut. Not so gut as Hannoveraner, but gut still. I do like older boys to take care of me und admire me, und it seems they are being experienced in proper admiration of der young female. Bambi could do this also, if only Bambi vere not so French.

Again, I am promising to try to be more kind to Bambi, in honor of der Holiday Season. Und because you und your human daughters are freundliche Damen.

Frohe Feiertage,
Alice

[Beezer]

But of course your halter nameplate would be ENGRAVED (QHSM shudders to think that you have been so shabbily treated!). But certainly your mother deserves equal billing next to your illustrious sire? (QHSM, after all, being a mother, is very sensitive to these perceived slights of a mother’s import.)

You sound like you are a wonderfully colored, wonderfully spirited young girl. QHSM has always had a fondness for grays and for roses; you sound like her kind of filly!

Might I make the smallest of suggestions? I think your idea of asking if Inverness’ Billy and HN73’s Bailey could write to QHSM with their wish lists is a fine one; but what if we open it up to ALL of the horses to post? Then maybe their owners will see the wish lists and realize how remiss they’ve been and will adjust their holiday budgets accordingly!

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.

[The_Notorious_Cheste]

My sparkling white nose is already feeling a lot better

Do you think there is any chance of getting that rubber snaffle? Huh? Do ya?? Puhleeze?!?!?

I promise, I’ll be really good. I won’t even try to rub the bridle off my head by rubbing it against the nearest standard! Not even when it gets itchy.

I’m a good horse, I really am.

And I like you. Wanna do the jumpers?? I am really fast, and I like to jump!

Jump High, Go Fast

[Proof_Set]

Cheif can have Pockets

OW! I take it BACK!

[system]

Dear QHSM,

Although I have chosen to use my proper name for these purposes, this is Chiefs “said” girlfriend, Sierra. First I must set the record straight, I AM NOT chief’s girlfriend he is just rather fun to chew on. I am a commited woman. I am, how do you say… “with child”. How I got into this position heaven knows, I fought him off as much as I could possibly have done. But alas, this burden on my soul has caused me to require many things this Christmas.

First and foremost, I would like some shoes. A simple request yes, but being put into the old fashioned genre of “barefoot and pregnant” just doesn’t suit a high class Thoroughbred such as myself.

Second, I request a new saddle, alas yes I might choose to never be ridden again (I have this incredible ability to be “injured” all of the time), but the Butet just isn’t right for my precious back.

Third, I request more grass in my pasture, and an additional flake of alphalfa. The 2 cans of grain 4 flakes of coastal and 1 flake of alphalfa is just not enough to sustain me now that I don’t have to watch my girlish figure.

And Last, and maybe the most important, I would like to be reunited with my estranged husband. Although so far he seems to be a love em’ and leave em’ kind of guy, I’m sure that with my female charms I can woo him into a lifetime of happiness.

Thanks, so much QHSM

The Princess.

[Merry]

I’m lucky if QHSM gets around to giving ME a freakin’ pair of slippers for Christmas, okay?

Not that I’m jealous or anything, or perturbed that Beezer is spending time shilling gifts for all the HORSES!

“Friends don’t let friends eat fish tacos.”

[Proof_Set]

Me First?

I mean, Oh, thank you, [B] Proof Set [/B] (In Mint Condition/Hello Lillet) My Mummy calls me Maddie but I think that it is denigrating to a filly who hopes to attain the social position that I aspire to.

Wings says I am a snot. Can you make his present be a draft harness?

Can Billy and Bailey send their lists before Pockets finds out? He bit me today and I wasn’t bothering HIM!

[Beezer]

QHSM, alas, does not “do” jumpers … alas, QHSM seldom rides at all these days (she is much more into the lead-'em and feed-'em school of horse ownership) … but I, Beezer, ride jumpers!

Now, about that bit… QHSM thinks that while it is very admirable that you look after your mummy so well, she detects the slightest hint of a naughty streak in you for asking for a milder bit. (Someday, you must ask Merry what happened the time she ordered Beezer to buy a certain fancy bit for Beezer’s mare and the “amusement” that ensued.) In good conscious, Chester, QHSM cannot promise you a rubber snaffle.

And Bailey … you are a true-blue soul for asking for presents for Heather, too. QHSM thinks, though, that given Heather’s apparent confusion over the difference between horse and human shampoo, that perhaps QHSM should see to it that you (and she!) gets an entire grooming kit and a few how-to books!

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.

[Red_Storm]

I am Red Storm. I am 26 years old and know many things. I Have seen many Christmas seasons come and go. My Mom knows how wise and wonderful I am, and she gives me almost anything I want. So, my Christmas list for myself is short. All I want is for my Mom to give me more peppermints each day. She says that I am old, and that she doesn’t want to ruin my teeth. But, I am Red Storm, and my teeth are fine. So, if you could please tell her that I can have more than two peppermints a day, I would be very grateful.

This is important, QHSM! I have a sister by adoption. She is my Mom’s other horse and her name is Promise. She is a nice horse, even if she is a Thoroughbred (I am a Polish Warmblood, which is better of course). Please, for Christmas, tell her, and make her understand, that she can’t get sick so often. My Mom loves her very much (maybe as much as she loves me) and worries when she is sick. If Promise would just understand that, and not think that when she gets sick she gets all kinds of attention, and attention is good, then my Mom would be very, very happy.

I am old. I have had many owners, and I know how lucky I am to have a nice Mom to end my days with. If you could make my Mom happy, you will make me happy.

Thank you very much,
Red Storm (the old and wise)

[Valour]

Dear QHSM,

As I am still quite young in age I don’t really have much that I really want for Christmas, however, I was wondering if you could please let my Auntie Blaze’s tail grow back nice and long. I am really sorry that I chewed it off but I was really bored out in the pen. My humom is still looking for a winter blankie for me as well, I keep telling her that I don’t need one but she is insistant. I was also hoping that maybe you can talk to my mom, Canasta and tell her that she had better have a colt so that our humom will sell that baby and keep me.

Last but not least can you please let our humom know that all the horses in the barn (all 26 of them) would really, really like it if she makes her horse cookies again this year. Except for Aviva and myself, we would just like some baby carrots as they are lower in protein.

Thank QHSM,

Briana

[hoopoe]

If QHSM forgets a small item, tell Papa that Hoopoe has a good cookie recipie. The Wonderful Elliott endorses them.

_\]
– * > hoopoe
Snowmen fall from heaven unassembled.

[Beezer]

Never! A little pride is only to be expected in a girl of your caliber!

Now, QHSM is easily confused (this is NOT something she likes bandied about, but … well, she is). In one post you say your daddy is Mint Condition, in another you say he is In Mint Condition. Now, since we don’t want QHSM to get your nameplate engraved erroneously, what is your daddy’s name precisely?

As for all the other horses posting … QHSM cannot grant ALL their wishes, much as she would like to. But she sees this as an avenue for them to be able to convey to their own owners their wants, needs, desires.

You, Proof Set, however, are a special, special case. You sound like a filly who deserves to be at El Ranchito. Did you know that QHSM raised an orphan filly too? I think that kinda makes you kindred spirits!

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.

[Pistol_n_Me]

Dear QHSM,

My name is Maverick’s Midnite Special, but please call me Pistol! But, please, please, please do not insult me the way others did at my old barn by calling me Piss Tail or Piss Ant! Since moving to the new barn I have become a changed horse! I ENJOY being ridden and groomed, and I’m very acceptable to having the vet or farrier out to do their jobs now. They even comment on my new-found manners! Isn’t that impressive?

First off, I will start with the impossible wish–please help my mom figure out what she wants to do with me! On some days she wants me to become a show horse, other days a trail horse, yet even more a dressage horse, and then in the future she wants me to attempt to be an endurance horse! I love my mom dearly, but she gets me worried sometimes when talking about my future. All I want to do is be a happy content horse that can eat the day away…some riding and grooming is acceptable however.

As for stuff for me, let’s begin!!

I would really appreciate a comfty trail saddle for me. I like the look and feel of the modern endurance-style, and the treeless ones sound even more special. My mom told me she would like to get one too, and sell her western show saddle (fine by me, that thing weighs a ton!), so I know she would appreciate it! Then she would stop riding me in her cutback which offers so-little padding for her rear and my back!

A few new saddlepads would be nice. Some dressage-sized for her english saddle, and then some barrel-racing size for the above-mentioned dream saddle.

I would also very much enjoy receiving a waterproof turnout sheet. I have a warm waterproof blanket, but I don’t need it this winter because I’ve grown a full winter coat. However, the sheet would be very handy on days when the wind blows cold or the rain is very very cold. I wear a 68"-70" and would prefer if it was hunter green. I need a style with a high shoulder-cut, because the low-cut shoulders sag behind my withers and are very uncomfortable.

Some puffy leg wraps (12" and white please) would be great, especially if they came with a new set of stable bandages! A horse can never have too many sets of bandages!!

I would also enjoy having a year’s supply of grass brought into my dry lot! Though, it isn’t a healthy idea now that I have a history of laminitis that my mom keeps warning me about when I’m eating, I would love to have some good grass year round that never runs dry.

Last but not least, I would enjoy getting a new horse trailer for myself. I would like a two horse, straight load with a medium-sized tack room (to hold all the stuff if I ever start some endurance/competitive trail).

Thank you again for giving me such a great mom who loves me dearly and didn’t sell me even when her old instructor was pressuring her hard about me over the spring.

[Beezer]

QHSM (and her channeler) so do like reading such fine letters. (Ahem, Proof Set: QHSM heard that!)

First, to Lucien: You sound like such a learned, kind horse. QHSM (and Beezer) would be honored to have your in her barn. I don’t suppose … well, no, probably not.

QHSM will speak in the sternest manner to your owner about her neglectfulness in the treat department. And about upping your ration of Omolene 200. QHSM quite agrees: A gentleman of your stature always looks better with a rounder tummy.

Now, about those nicknames … QHSM fears that she may not be able to help here. After all, she is guilty of similar silliness herself. Try to look at it this way: the higher regard your owner has for you, the sillier the nicknames tend to be.

To Chief: How kind of you to ask for a toy for your friend Sierra. QHSM’s only concern is that you might try to use it as leverage to “get something” from Sierra, and QHSM does not want to be responsible for that. Perhaps you might suggest that she try gnawing on a wooden fence or tree or a halter that a human carelessly left within reach? These are all things that QHSM tolerates on a regular basis, so why should Sierra’s family be any different?

It does sound like you’re a boy with an appetite! QHSM knows all about those; they’ve been eating her out of house and home for years! Your owner will be told of your needs and desires, with strict instructions to see to them … but you have to promise to stop teasing your friend Charles Brown – particularly if you want that pony. Deal?

And now, dear, dear Red Storm: Last, but certainly not least. What a wonderful, genuine fellow you are. You are a horse after QHSM’s heart.

QHSM will speak to your sister about her health problems and see if there is anything she can do to help ease them. And she will try to help alleviate your mom’s concerns. But you must remember: It is a mother’s privilege and right to worry; it’s our No. 1 job. I am sure, though, that if she knew how her worrying worried you, that she would make an effort not to worry so much in front of you. Would that help?

Now, QHSM is going to concentrate very hard on granting one really important wish for you: Many, many more years to enjoy your life with your mom. It sounds like a match made in heaven. QHSM likes those best.

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.

[Lovely_Alice]

I am der Lovely Alice, who you haf heard of, yah? I live in der Canada mit my human, Jair und der French horse, Bambi.

I am German und I am a beautiful fraulein. I jump wery, wery gute. Mein Jair must try wery hard to stay on, but he does it most of der time.

For der Weihnacten, I vould be liking a new vardrobe. Jair is generous und buys me many tings, but everything now is being from last year. I vould also like him to not go away so often und leave me alone. I am getting much older now and and ready to be going to der shows.

You vill not be listening to der Bambi horse, ya? Because he ist not to be telling you der truth. He gets many, many tings from Jair, yust as many as I do. Besides, he ist French, so he is already thinking he ist better than der other horses. Vich ve know better, yah? He can get vat he vants, so long as I get too. Because ve are both vanting to haf more time mit Jair.

Frohe Weihnachten,

Lovely Alice

[Beezer]

QHSM is gratified to see that you are willing to make the effort at harmony for the sake of the season. She will now happily forward your lists to your fine owner, with her note to prod him to fulfill all your wishes.

Note to Merry: PLEASE. Considering that YOUR Christmas list was taped up in several strategic locations around El Ranchito since, oh, July 4th … how would you know what has and has not been gotten for you? Unless, of course, you’ve been SNOOPING again!

I see trees of green, red roses too. I watch 'em bloom for me and for you. And I think to myself … what a wonderful world. Yes, what a wonderful world." – Louie Armstrong.

[Proof_Set]

That Nasty Pockets was trying to peek at what I was doing so I posted only part of it before!

He has no documentable background and seems to think that makes him more special than a precious orphan filly!

Even though Wings has become over sized in ego since Moesha sat on him somewhere that they took MY trailer without MY permission, he did confide in me that Pockets did not give appropriate obesience to my family connection to Kona Gold or Saluter!

Pockets IS NOT the favorite! (Unless it has a direct bearing on gifts for me)