[QUOTE=horsefaerie;6571003]
Years ago, before anti depressants, people gave others good advice.
You are not alone. Depression is anger turned inward. When disabled with depression do one good thing for you and one that life requires in that one day.
Our thoughts feed our depression. I would not want anyone else running my thoughts but if they are going to hurt me I can change them. When ugly thoughts, self defeating thoughts and all other thoughts that cause me and my emotions distress I repeat endlessly “Let it go!”. I make the conscious now defeat the ugliness.
I had to learn this to cope with losing some of the use of my arms and chronic pain. I made it a habit. I do not attack myself. THere are plenty of folks available to do that. Amazingly so.
I feed my spirit. I give myself permission to be who I am, exactly as I am right now. I do not ask others for their opinion of me. THey can keep that to themselves.
THe horse world is full of people that know little or nothing about horses, yet they own them. I have learned to walk away and spend time with these incredible creatures, sometimes just smelling their fur. Everything you said is true. I make a note and I do my best to move on and away from foolish negative people.
I have God, it helps. With God I have no need to even attempt to control everything. Rather practical really if one doesn’t get carried away with THAT as well. You might want to hold off on finding God at the moment, people are even uglier about God than horses!
Take baby steps. Celebrate your ability and awareness. Appreciate who you are and know that you have purpose even if you never get to see it. Let each day matter to you. Smile at people. Appreciate them once you can appreciate you.
It is what it is. Breathe. Learn to breathe better. Explore life as it is not as what you think it is until you can change what you think.[/QUOTE]
I actually thought the advice comment was really funny, and even though I’m really not looking for advice, yours is good. I will remember the 1 thing for me, 1 for life thing.
I also see where grayarabpony is coming from. It’s the sort of statement that people might read into. I just have a little bit of a different perspective as I’ve really tried pretty much everything and when I tell people I deal with depression, it seems really hard for them to accept that there isn’t just “the thing” I haven’t heard about that will make things a ton better, and usually “the thing” I need to try is a med. I totally relate to the living ghost thing although I do a little better than that most days. There were no good old days (and IMO no lost civilized time), meds don’t work for a lot of people, depression is the symptom, not the disease, and a lot of people experience relief due to placebo affect (if this is you, RUN with it and don’t look back! :D)
I think my biggest task right now (as some of you hit on) is that I need to not worry about things that aren’t mine to worry about and I need to figure out when that’s the case. I think I experience a lot of anxiety just trying to sort out if I need to respond to something or not, and if so in what way. I think it’s tempting to want to just “let go” of all of it, but that’s how you get to the good samaritan dilemma. If that’s not obvious, I can convert the soticism-by-proxy joke from my book to something horsey