Hello!
I’m looking for suggestions to help develop better elasticity through elbows while riding. Hands are very soft, but there is rarely enough bend through the elbow and they get pretty locked up. This is for an adult rider.
Thanks!
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As a short-armed person, one of the things that helped me was constantly thinking of pushing the horse forward like I was pushing a grocery cart and not like I was holding the leash of a dog.
Is the problem at all gaits or one in particular?
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I would guess trot is hardest, as it is for me. My trainer has threatened (jokingly) to make me put dollar bills between my arm/elbow and sides, and if they fall out from me not keeping my elbow bent she gets to keep them.
It’s still a work in progress, but I think the most helpful thing for me is to think about touching the front of my saddle pad with my pinky finger.
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If I did that, my reins would be terribly long—am I misinterpreting?
I agree with @Alterration. I sometimes feel like a little T-rex up there, but I ride a lot better when I am literally reminding myself to shove my hands forward. What also helps me too is widening my hands whilst making sure my thumbs are on top. That naturally creates an elastic connection.
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Obviously this puts my hand too low, but my tendency is to carry my hands both too high and too forward, so touching the saddle pad every so often (or just keeping that feel in mind) puts me in a more correct place.
I’m also petite, don’t think I have disproportionately short arms but they are still short!
It is pretty much at all gaits I think, though less so at the canter maybe.
I find using a driving rein helps loosen my elbows significantly!
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Ok, the reason I ask is to try to understand whether it’s just the trot or whether it’s a general following thing. A general following problem is generally (wow…I’m articulate today) related to the inability to separate seat from hands.
So - think about pushing your hands forward like a shopping cart (but with thumbs up) and really following with your hips.
At the walk you can imagine two dowels pushing the head and neck of the horse forward and back - that’s your rein contact. If you have straight elbows, it will block that connection.
At the posting trot, think about pushing down on the horse’s neck (obviously you’re not touching it - this is just in your imagination) while you’re posting up. Practice this off the horse using a counter top. There’s a LOT of articulation in order to keep your hands steady as you move. You’ll feel stupid the first few times you do this.
At the canter it’s very similar to the walk. Think about pushing that horse’s head away from you as you move. Again, your hips must move a fair amount if you’re sitting, and if you’re in a two point you’re still pushing their head away from your body.
Have someone video you the first time you try this. I guarantee you will not look as exaggerated as you feel 
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One exercise I would do can be done at the trot or canter. It also helps stabilize the lower leg. Must be done on a tolerant horse, who will not take advantage of the situation. This exercise is also about sloooow control, not shoving or grabbing your hands around. It should also be done in a controlled environment - in an indoor, in good weather, with quiet company for instance.
At the trot start with your elbows in appropriate position. Over 4 strides (4 up/downs) slooowly extend your arm forward towards the bit until your elbows are essentially straight. Once extended, hold them out there 4 more up/downs. Make sure you don’t tip forward just because your elbows are extended. Then over the next 4 up/downs sloowly bring them back to “home base” where you stay for the next 4 up/downs.
At the canter, it is essentially the same thing but for 4 full canter strides. Home base, stretch towards the bit for 4, hold it there for 4, then slowly retract over 4 strides. 2 strides can be too herky-jerky on the horse’s mouth and keep in mind it is all about the slow extension and retraction with resuming the softest contact. Once horses know what we are doing, they don’t seem to mind.
Common look fors:
Retracting your elbows is much harder to do slowly. Watch that you don’t grab them back.
Tipping forward - keep your balance as you extend and retract.
Shoving hands forward towards their ears instead of towards the bit.
Raising heels upon extension - keep those puppies down.
Advanced exercise - do one elbow at a time while the other elbow stays at home base. Again, a tolerant horse is needed for this and conditions should be quiet. When you do this one, watch for twisting at the shoulder or hips, particularly through the end of the ring.
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I’d work on shoulder and upper-arm strength via planking. I don’t think the problem is lack of elasticity. I think it’s relying too much on forearm.
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Jumping in on this because I struggle with the same!
How do you “push” your hands forward without going too far and just riding around with straight arms? I struggle with this, where I try to soften in the elbow but then feel like I’m reaching too far forward. Although it does feel like a lack of strength thing too where I can’t separate my hands and my upper body/core.
Correct form elbow planking will boost your core in a big way. One- to two-minute sets a few times a day for six weeks: You won’t recognize yourself. If you’ve never planked, you measure your progress in seconds. When you hit 30, it’s a big deal. 60, you’ve arrived. 120, you’re a master. Planking is the greatest thing I took away from physical therapy.
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One thing that has helped me is to canter alternating between sitting and two point. Four strides of one then switch, but try to maintain the same feel, the exact same contact.
My trainer always says to “air out your pits.” It’s funny, but true that doing so disrupts that muscle chain of stiffness.
This is video of a former client of hers and because of the camera angles, you can really see how ungluing your upper arms from your sides helps with elasticity.
Good luck. I learned to ride as an adult. The struggle is real.
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There is wonderful advice on here, but as a short person who rides big horses the hands forward hands forward mantra is the best simple solution I have found. It is certainly a very partial solution but I tell myself this in practice and in shows every thirty seconds. Come out of the corner on course: hands forward! Trying to be softer at the trot: hands forward! Horse is getting tense: hands forward! And so forth!
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Not the OP, but thinking hands forward doesn’t work for me because I straighten my elbows to get my hands forward 
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I too suffer from stiff elbows at times while riding and recently was looking up exercises to help me loosen them up. I haven’t personally tried this yet, but I am very intrigued by the endless reins exercise that is described in activity 3 in this article: https://practicalhorsemanmag.com/training/loosen-up-4-exercises-to-eliminate-rider-stiffness/.
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I feel focusing on the shoulders back and down into the seat connection will free your arm to relax.
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I had a trainer make me ride laps and laps and laps at the canter with really exaggerated following hands. Like pushing all the way forward and taking all the way back with each stride. It really made my conscious of moving my elbows and how to follow with everything loose. Then she made me really think about the timing of my half halts and really think about the take and release aspect along with the timing of the canter stride.
I also second the driving rein to teach the following motion.
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Gosh, I was reading this thread and thinking the same, that really doesn’t work for me… I bet it’s my anatomy.
After a lifetime of riding/retraining OTTBs I’m guilty of having too soft hands and some not-great elasticity in my elbows. What really helps reset my defensive posturing is putting a dressage whip behind my back. I find that my lack of elastic elbows are actually from a more defensive seat, where my shoulders and chest are tilted forward. Working on upper body positioning makes my elbows more elastic and where they’re supposed to be, by my side.
It also helps if I take a hack first and warm up with an exaggerated “give and take” exercise where I work on bringing my hands forward above my horse’s withers, and then work on bringing my elbows back, visually thinking of bringing them all the way to my horse’s dock. Caveat: make sure your horse can work on the buckle to do this, the point isn’t to have contact with their mouth but to work on your own flexibility in the elbows. For me, doing this exercise in an exaggerated way helps make the proper position my elbows need to be in not feel so strange.
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