Did the euthanasia go wrong?

[Grey]

It’s my first time posting so i hope I am doing this right. I am desperate for answers. Please bare with my story.

I had my beloved horse put to sleep 4 weeks ago … and to be honest I don’t feel it went smoothly at all. I was wondering if anyone might tell me what happened or is this normal. I have cried myself to sleep nearly every night since it was done. It was really traumatizing.

my horse was only 16 years old. He had been diagnosed with a damaged suspensory ligament before Christmas. I had taken him to so many vets, physiotherapists and farriers but it seemed that it was beyond fixing. Riding was out of the question so I retired him. He had led a life of hunting and tough riding before I got him. I did small riding club activities on him and some beach rides.

He could be sore some weeks and fine for others. But his quality of life was good. The day he was put to sleep he was a good healthy weight and grazing in his favourite paddock. Everything seemed fine and then his sheath became swollen one day and he was so lame.I called the vet and we had it cleaned and thought it was all fixed. He went down hill so rapidly after this. He became so lame he would not walk and I had the vet out several times. We checked for any blockages of the kidneys and there was none. I had him on oral anti biotics and pain killers. He improved slightly but the vet suggested putting him down. I decided to give him one more week until we finished his course of anti biotics. He actually improved greatly for about 3 days. And then suddenly he went back down hill. Most of the swelling was gone from his sheath but he was so lame. I stayed up every night with him till about 4 and 5am. He was eating and pooching about his paddock but just so lame. And he began to lie down alot. He was actually getting up quickly but he was crippled when moving and kept spreading his hind legs far apart.

I decided to call it a day. I have helped and seen horses euthanized a few times before. But I never witnessed anything like this. The vet inserted a big needle into the vein in his neck and gave him 4 very big syringes of the drug. I dont know what was used. It was a red / pinky colour. As he gave him the 4th injection he said that’s enough to do it now… well it wasn’t. My horse stood and looked at us all as if he was about to say eh … It’s had no effect. The vet had to run to his car and get more. Luckily it was parked very close. After a good few minutes my horses was like a drunk man swaying around which I know is normal. He ran sideways pulling the rope from my hands but recovered himself. He then ran the opposite way and hit the ground so hard my mother heard it all the way from the stables. He immediately tried to get back up about 3 or 4 times. We had all jumped back because of the way he fell. He was sitting upright with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. I never saw it like that before. I was standing diagonally from his hind quaters sobbing and he turned his head and neck back over his shoulder and sat very upright looking at me with his ears flicking. He seemed to be very aware. The vet injected him more and suddenly the nightmare escalated. He was thrashing around making horrid groaning noises. All 4 of his legs were kicking violently and he kept lifting his head and curling it around to his flanks as though he was colicing. He was thrashing so badly he was actually lifting his shoulders clean off the ground and slamming them down. Eventually that stopped and he was sitting upright slightly and again turning his head in my direction. Another minute or so passed and he eventually flopped onto his side and died about 3 minutes later. The vet had to run to his car twice to get more drugs. He seemed to be shook at how my horse reacted. He said he is very big and must have a great heart. He is a very gentle and good vet. But can anyone tell me what happened. I’m so upset after what I witnessed. I regret everything. I feel as thought I did my poor horse an injustice. My heart is just so broken. I have never witnessed such a violent and aware passing, it’s as if he fought it every step of the way.

[Lunabear1988]

OP, first off I want to say that I’m so so sorry for your loss… It sounds like you were an amazing owner, trying what you could for your horse but also recognizing when it was time to let him go. Not everyone can be so selfless.

I am far from an expert on this matter (thankfully) but that does sound like an odd experience. I’m sorry that you had to see that. I know one vet who everytime she’s euthanized a horse, it does go similarly. But she’s also just bad with needles in other emergencies. I personally won’t use her, but maybe it’s all just bad luck and not technique.

Either way, I hope you find peace in that you tried and had the best of intentions for your horse. I know how hard it can be. Hugs to you.

[Mango20]

That sounds awful, sorry you had to go through that. I had one who fought it just a little, but nothing even close to what you’ve described. My vet will first inject with a general sedative, so that probably helps a lot. The horses are already sedated when the pink stuff hits them.

[ryansgirl]

I’m sorry for your loss - I and so many others feel your pain. I’ve seen plenty euthanized including some of my own and all went smoothly. All the ones I’ve seen the vets sedate the horse first and help the horse lay down so it’s like they are just sleeping. The vets give the owners time to say their final goodbyes then they give the final meds which stops the heart. We’d hear some sounds but that was it. Working at an equine hospital for just over five years I unfortunately saw a decent amount put down.

I wonder if your vet sedated first? In any case I am sorry you and your horse had to go through this.

[2DogsFarm]

@Grey I am so very sorry for your loss & also that it went badly.
But please, as awful as your horse’s struggles appeared to you, know that he was most likely unaware & the thrashing was just ingrained flight response and muscle reaction.

Every name in my signature is a horse I loved & lost. And I was there for each one at their end.
Though most went quietly, the traumatic ones tore my heart & still bring tears if I think of them.
We do the best we can.
I hope you can find peace & put away the bad memories to make room for the good.

Maybe post here some of what made your horse so special to you.
This BB has many who completely understand what you are going through, can say BTDT & offer cyber-hugs {HUGS}

[MustangSavvy]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sadly, we cannot predict how a animal is going to react to medications and I have seen it go horribly awry at no fault of the vet (vet assistant for eight years). I have seen it with both small animals and large animals. You can always call and speak to your vet about how the euthanasia went.

[Equkelly]

So sorry for your loss OP. It sounds like you still made the right call and did everything right by your horse. I have heard of one other horse years ago that when the vet went to euth, the horse didn’t go. She just kept taking deep sighs and then you’d think that was it but then another deep sigh and this went on for a good 15 minutes. I don’t remember what the vet said the cause was. In any case, I’m so sorry what happened to you. That sounds traumatic but you still made the right call.

[fordtraktor]

I have seen quite a few horses put down and yes, one went the way you describe. It was awful and I totally get you being traumatized. Anyone would be. Your horse probably wasn’t aware during the vast majority of this event, but it’s still incredibly distressing.

I don’t think anything really went “wrong” on the one I witnessed, it was just a big horse and he found the meds. it sure felt wrong though.

[Bluey]

@fordtraktor

I have seen quite a few horses put down and yes, one went the way you describe. It was awful and I totally get you being traumatized. Anyone would be. Your horse probably wasn’t aware during the vast majority of this event, but it’s still incredibly distressing.

I don’t think anything really went “wrong” on the one I witnessed, it was just a big horse and he found the meds. it sure felt wrong though.

That, when things go wrong, they go like described and it is very traumatic for everyone.
I expect your vet also is having nightmares from that, as you are.

Some horses, if their hearts or circulatory system is impaired, at times the medications don’t work quite right and that causes those situations.

OP, if it is hard for you to get over that terrible experience, do try to find some help?
That is what counselors are for, they help with ways to work around those experiences.
So sorry that happened in an already so sad situation.

[goodhors]

We have always tranquilized the horse first, then given the other meds to put them down. Some friends had reactions as you describe, without the tranquilizing shot first. Some much worse reactions than you describe! I called the Vet ahead, to make sure they brought both medications, so I did not have to witness a terrible death.

I am very sorry about how awful it got, would be upset myself to see that!

it does sound like you did your best for him before putting him down, it was a good choice to let him go. As already said, some animals react very badly to the medication, no matter how skillfully delivered. You don’t know if they will, so tranquilizing takes the reaction problem out of the picture.

[kande04]

I worked in a lab so did a lot of euthanasia and have seen a lot, so I’m familiar with what you describe. In fact, I had a similar experience when my vet did some minor surgery on my horse (he survived, but it’s a wonder we weren’t all crushed trying to prevent him from getting hurt).

What I’ve found is that in spite of the fact that I understand how sedation and euthanasia work, and that it doesn’t always work perfectly, I’m still at least a little bit traumatized when things don’t go exactly right. I think it actually has just as much to do with the loss as the euthanasia experience, because I’m always more upset when it’s one of my own (even though I had no doubts that it was time) than when it’s a lab animal that I didn’t really know very well.

So I could say to you, “don’t dwell on the euthanasia experience because your trauma probably isn’t entirely about that”, but I know from experience that deciding not to dwell on it and actually avoiding thinking about it are two very different things.

[kande04]

I worked in a lab so did a lot of euthanasia and have seen a lot done by others, so I’m familiar with what you describe. In fact, I had a similar experience when my vet did some minor surgery on my horse (he survived, but it’s a wonder we weren’t all crushed trying to prevent him from getting hurt).

What I’ve found is that in spite of the fact that I understand how sedation and euthanasia work, and that it doesn’t always work perfectly, I’m still at least a little bit traumatized when things don’t go exactly right. I think it actually has just as much to do with the loss as the euthanasia experience, because I’m always more upset when it’s one of my own (even though I had no doubts that it was time and that they probably didn’t suffer) than when it’s a lab animal that I didn’t really know very well.

So I could say to you, “don’t dwell on the euthanasia experience because your trauma probably isn’t entirely about that”, but I know from experience that deciding not to dwell on it and actually avoiding thinking about it are two very different things. The best I can do after something like that is to try my best not to think about it until the memory of it fades enough so that I’m no longer upset about it.

[SuzieQNutter]

I am also sorry for your loss.

As others have said by that time he was not aware what was going on and it was muscle reactions. This is natures gift to prey animals, so as they are not aware of being ripped apart by a carnivore, while still alive. Although they still look like they are fighting if you watch documentaries.

All vets seem to do it differently. The kindest was a vet who put him to sleep with a sedative and put the stuff in afterwards. There was no reaction from the horse from that and I think the best way.

My old mare. I was there while she was sedated but she was still standing with head down. The younger than other vet took the lead rope and said you can go now. I left and went and hugged Stars, not watching, until the vet came back up and said it was done.

[moonlitoaksranch]

I’m sorry it went so badly. You did the right thing and maybe the vet did it right. Sometimes they do not react well to the meds. I’m glad no one got hurt. That is a real possibility. The vets always have people stand back because they can sometimes thrash about. I think it would be good to ask the vet to help you understand what your horse experienced. They can also tell you if there was pain or not. You may have seen brain stem type activity when most of the upper functions were already asleep, so to speak. Hard to believe, and I know the fact he was looking towards you is disturbing, but he may not have been seeing anything at that point.

A good decision to end pain isn’t negated by a difficult end.

Try to focus on how much pain you saved him from. Standing all day with his legs spread, and unable to walk much, is a horse in a lot of pain. You can’t explain to him that it wouldn’t get better, but you knew that and made the hard choice. He doesn’t hurt anymore. His ‘right now’ was too hard to bear. You made that stop. That was the humane thing to do.

[joiedevie99]

So sorry, OP. That does sound traumatic. I’ve never seen one go like that, but my vet sedates first. That said, one of the techs told me about one she witnessed that sounds like it went similar to yours, if not worse. They did a necropsy (for insurance reasons) and the horse was riddled with tumors. She suspected that the circulatory system was so impaired that the drugs just couldn’t circulate in his body.

[mjhco]

So very sorry for your loss. I am sorry it was so dramatic. One reason I insist on HUGE tranquilizer first. Then euth drugs. I cannot imagine going through what you and your horse went through

[GoodTimes]

I’m sorry it was traumatizing, that certainly doesn’t make anything easier.
Hopefully he was unaware of what was going on at that point.

I work in cardiac ultrasound (human) and it always fascinates me how different the circulatory system can be, even in healthy people.
We routinely inject ultrasound contrast for improved imaging. The contrast bubbles travel with the blood. We inject it into veins in the arms.
In one person it can be nearly instantaneous, within a second or two it has reached the heart. The next person it may take up to 30 seconds. Slow enough that we’re starting to wonder if the IV came out, or if the contrast wasn’t mixed properly.

[RMJacobs]

I’ve had to euthanize two of my horses. Each time, the vet warned me that the scenario you describe could occur. I’m so sorry it happened to you.

It’s never easy dealing with the loss of a beloved horse, and I’m sure that makes it so much harder. I am so sorry for your loss and your experience during the euthanasia.

Rebecca

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

I’m so sorry for your loss, and for having it happen like that.

I’ve had several put down over the past few years, but the first one was the worst. That mare was immune to Ket - which my vet didn’t know, and it had been so long so we’d last tranquilized her, I’d forgotten. We didn’t even try to sedate her first, though. Maybe if we had, it would have taken just enough of the edge off to make a difference - that was five years ago, and I still second-guess everything we did that day.

But in the intervening years, I don’t dwell on it as much as I did. We had no choice but to put her down, as you had no choice but to let your guy go. No matter what, sometimes it just doesn’t go as planned and hoped. That was the worst one I’ve ever seen; the others have all gone smoothly, within seconds.

Maybe your guy was also immune to sedatives. Maybe his cardio system wasn’t working right. Maybe the vet didn’t quite get the injections in correctly. You can second-guess everything, but eventually, you’ll realize that you did the only thing you could do, and we can’t ever predict how these things will go.

Hugs to you.

[findthedistance]

I just want to mention that it isn’t wrong/unethical to skip the sedation and go straight to euthanasia, particularly if the horse is already calm and okay with needles. Your horse had an atypical reaction and that’s really hard, but it doesn’t mean the vet did anything wrong. Sometimes horses just don’t respond as expected to the euthanasia solution.

My old vet does not routinely sedate before administering euthanasia solution, so long as the horse is calm and expected to stay that way. We worked together on a lot of elderly horses, and it wasn’t always known if the horse’s circulatory system was playing with a full deck. The goal was to get the solution on-board and circulating as effectively as possible, as quickly as possible, to reduce the odds that the horse would have a chance to fight the drugs. Either way can be a good-faith attempt to give a horse a dignified end.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and that you had to see him go like that. Take care.