Did you get butterflies when you first sat on your horse? Update at post 52!

[AdultEmmy]

I’m curious to know if you knew when you’ve found your horse. Be it butterflies, you fell in love…whatever.

I’m really trying to be careful. I’ve fallen too fast/acted on impulse with my last two horses, and want to find my right horse or heart horse. There’s been one I’ve tried in recent months that I’ve been excited about, but there’s a different thread on that one about having bone chips and I passed.

Tried one today that I think has potential. I don’t know if I’m crazy hoping for an “aha” or in love moment. Did you have that?

[LCDR]

No. It took years of patience for the bonds to happen.

[exvet]

Not for me. I have either foaled out or bought as unstarted stock for the last couple of decades. Now that being said, I will admit to being smitten with a foal or two I later backed and knew they were something special. Often, though, those get sold for obvious reasons.

[AdultEmmy]

Thank you both. I’ve been chasing that gut feeling and not getting it, aside from the one I was real excited about, so I wasn’t sure if that’s just a dream. Just don’t want to do anything rash and I think I’m trigger shy.

[2DogsFarm]

Same!
I admit to a tiny heart-swelling moment, but not U/S.
Before I bought him, when I saw my TB in pasture, tail flagged, all lofty trot
In our 20yrs together he never disappointed & the bond was strong.
He’s been gone nearly 15yrs & I still miss him.
He set the bar very high for successors.
I’ve loved those who followed, but not 1 has been his equal.

[Bluey]

A friend trainer used to call about a breeder he started colts for that had several for sale and he thought we may want to look at them.
They only had a handful of rides and the breeder decided who to keep and train more or let go.

Tried them and bought two, but one of the others was an immediate falling in love with, fit like a glove, moved under you and with you naturally after only five rides, terrific balance and very athletic and sensitive.
Yes, didn’t take him because he felt way too sensitive and like he could explode if things didn’t suit him.
I had to think all I had to care for, so much depended on my being there for others at that time, Grandma was late nineties then and I just could not take any risks, so left without him.

Owner was selling for same reason, too much horse if things didn’t go right.
Well, owner ended keeping him anyway, he sent him to some of his cowboys to ride, hoping he would make a nice horse once older.
No such luck, I heard later he kept bucking cowboys off, he was way too much horse for most.

So, yes you can fall in love with a horse, but still not be right for you, for many reasons, even if it breaks your heart not be the rider that wonderful horse deserves and you wish was yours.

[AdultEmmy]

I love this. Thank you for sharing.

[WavyRider]

I sat on him and instantly felt safe. It was snowing, he was 6 and green, but I trusted him immediately and we jumped a course despite me being an anxious ammy. We’ve grown and learned a lot but at the end of the day, he is a safe comfortable horse to ride and that perfectly suited my needs.

[OverandOnward]

I don’t know if “butterflies” is the word, exactly. But yes, it was a “here we go” moment.

But don’t know if this qualifies as I first rode him after he was purchased and in my board barn for several weeks.

[IndysMom]

Yep, rode him (almost 3yo with about 60 days) around the ring twice, went over to my trainer and said “open the gate we’re putting him on the trailer.” He failed his ppe (hock OCD lesion) but I kept him anyway and did the surgery. He’s 19 and I still own him and always will.

[AdultEmmy]

I love this, and im jealous of the clarity you had!

[2DogsFarm]

Coming back with this memory:
Buying DH his 1st horse.
TWH, we were looking for a possible (low level) Eventer.
Fortunately, horse did not have much gait.
Seller had nowhere to ride except a small outdoor ringed by landscape timbers & (too)deeply-footed with tanbark.
I had done the 1st testride a week earlier & jumped over a 2-high stack of timbers.
Seller had not ever jumped him, rode trails.
Horse gave me an honest effort, so we came back for DH to ride.
He was pretty novice at the time, horse had minimal steering…
But he rode & as they came careening out of the make-do arena, nearly running us onlookers over, DH said “He’s the one! I want this horse!”
They got along great from Day 1.
Tom loved him, he loved Tom right back.
Their 1st Dressage test at a CT:
(I’m stage right in the SJ pic)

[pony_baloney]

When my previous horse was in his early 30s, I started casually looking for my next one. I saw one on a dressage barn’s website-a super cute 13.1 pinto pony and I thought “That’s what I want! A cute pony! Specifically THAT one!” He was at the barn of a French classical trainer I had hoped to one day ride with.

Fast forward a few years and my beloved Arab is euthanized at 34. Told myself I’ll take a few months off from horses, save up some money, do a few other things, etc. I only lasted two weeks. I checked the barn’s website again and he was still there, same ad that was never updated but I thought WTH and gave her a call. Saw him that afternoon and thought he was too small. Tried him out and in less than a minute I knew he was the one. Plus, I kept him at that barn and now train with the person I had wanted.

It wasn’t like butterflies, just a feeling it all worked out just as it should have after those few years. Actually he had been sold to a younger girl but was returned a few months earlier when he didn’t work out for her. Timing was everything. With my previous horse, it was almost like a sense of relief that the hunt was over. He was with me for 23 years and I never once wanted a different horse.

[Critter]

All the horses that have worked out, have been gut decisions where I just felt I really liked something about the horse. Can’t exactly say what the something was…but it was an instinctive, this one will be fun. And that goes with ones I’ve bought sight unseen (current 4 yo mare is the BEST…bought her from the breeder, who I had bought babies from before). Her video as a 2 yo was really crummy…everyone was like, nah, not that one. And I was like, yup, that’s the one! And she is turning into the nicest horse!

The ones that I analytically purchased because of xyz resale potential or that they checked all the boxes and I figured it would be fine. All of those were definitely bad decisions! LOL

[Scribbler]

My feeling has more been that I feel safe, warm, secure on the horse and there is some element of mindmeld, they go for me and do what I want. A feeling of agreement.

[outerbanks77]

I actually didn’t like my mare much when I went to look at her. I was desperate to get ride of my previous horse because of Reasons, and the offer was on the table to trade straight across for this gangly, aloof 2-year old that was going to be taller than I wanted, and maybe more horse than I could handle. But I took her on the idea that I could get out from under the other horse and sell this one as a three year old if it wasn’t working out. Fast forward 4.5 years, and she has turned out to be nearly perfect for me. She has not been easy and I’ve had to earn everything twice-over with her, but now we really have a bond and I can’t imagine selling her.

I’ve always shopped in the greener than grass and Nothing too Fancy end of the market, so I can’t say I’ve ever had butterflies on a trial ride. Maybe the closest was when I tried a Friesian/WB cross mare that had about 8 rides on her. She had just the loveliest temperament, as green as she was and putting up with me trying to balance in the seller’s too-small flat jumping saddle (sadly, she didn’t vet). Then there was the 2 year old Escudo II son that I obviously didn’t sit on, but he just had a way of looking at me that made me want to buy him. Only didn’t because a) I was supposed to be buying a filly, and b) a local trainer talked me out of him as a dressage prospect. But I still think about him several years later.

[MissusS]

I looked at the ads of a lot of horses before making my purchase late last summer. I got pretty excited about a QH gelding approx 8 hours to the west of me - drove over and tried and had a good experience but then seller disclosed something that sat at the back of my brain. It was the weekend and I wanted to PPE but the vets would not be available until Monday. I drove home and allowed myself to play out all sorts of scenarios. I posted here and nearly everyone put words (“no”) to the doubts I was having so I backed out of that potential sale before going to PPE (the seller was a sales barn had a few buyers lined up but I was the first to try and she allowed me until the next day - Sunday - to decide if I wanted to book a PPE since I drove quite a ways).

The next weekend I drove 9 hours to the east of me to look at another horse. My guard was up - obviously I wouldn’t drive that far if I wasn’t serious, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. It was very good and I looked at her and thought “she could be mine” - but I waited until after the PPE to let my heart really settle in to the yes feeling.

So… I think I knew deep down that the gelding was a “no” but needed to come around to it… and then swung the other way and knew that the mare was a “yes” but also needed to come around to it.

No butterflies, but just a quiet knowing feeling.

[AdultEmmy]

These are so so helpful. And I identify with you on having my guard up. I am serious to buy, but don’t want to get it wrong again.

I like the horse I saw yesterday. I suspect he’s back sore though so I’m gonna go again Wednesday and if I like him, definitely get his back checked out as part of the ppe. He didn’t want to move forward, swapped behind a lot, and resisted leg.

[GraceLikeRain]

@AdultEmmy

like the horse I saw yesterday. I suspect he’s back sore though so I’m gonna go again Wednesday and if I like him, definitely get his back checked out as part of the ppe. He didn’t want to move forward, swapped behind a lot, and resisted leg.

From a neutral outside perspective, unless this is a truly exceptional horse, why are you the one paying for the diagnostics to try and guess whether there is a pain barrier to a horse doing the absolute basic elements of being a riding horse?

As someone who has helped dozens of people shop, butterflies are wrong more often than not. I love the sweet stories of life long partnerships but COTH is a uniquely educated group and we still have plenty of these stories that go south quickly.

My best matches have been ones that were approached with a lot of skepticism and willingness to look beyond the heart pull. My most successful match was a pair where the rider was deeply underwhelmed on the test ride. The mare was an average mover, a little older than desired, and had zero desire to interact with her. She needed safe and I really encouraged her to focus on her true priorities. They are out showing successfully their first season together and the mare has turned out to be very snuggly.

Butterflies are more often than not aesthetic and rarely have any connection to what it is like to interact with the horse daily. A good match should feel safe, as advertised, and happy to do the intended job (or if green, demonstrate fantastic potential). If that’s not there it can be the prettiest horse alive and you’ll still be disappointed.

[outerbanks77]

@AdultEmmy

He didn’t want to move forward, swapped behind a lot, and resisted leg.

That would be a pass for me. What did the seller have to say about that?

If you do want to move forward, one thing you might do, if the seller agrees, is to have a bodyworker come look at him and get their opinion on body soreness first. Cheaper than diving right into a PPE. I did this once but with feet that were overgrown and chipped, so I couldn’t see as much as I wanted with my amateur eye. I had a professional BF trimmer I knew come out and get the feet cleaned up and give me an opinion. I passed for other reasons before going to a PPE, but the seller and horse were happy with the fresh trim, and I was only out $50 instead of hundreds or more.