Discussing euthanasia with vet

[alterusername]

Looking for feedback. I have a teenage mare with extensive chronic conditions (severely crushed withers from flipping over, KS, SI issues, extensive arthritic changes, etc). She is the type of mare who is not happy without a job, and has become aggressive in turnout while not in work to the point of being isolated in solo turnout (this happened about 5 years ago while rehabbing, she’s great in a herd now, super fair boss mare, as long as she is in work). Recently she has threatened to rear under saddle in multiple instances while being mounted, and other concerning behavioral changes have been noted due to stiffness. I have explored virtually all possible maintenance options (saddle fit, shockwave, shoeing, mesotherapy, bodywork, chiro, injections, Equioxx, 24/7 turnout, etc) to the extent that my budget allows. She is getting progressively more difficult to shoe and requires extensive sedation to get the job done. Her reaction when panicked is to rear. I am at a point where I do not want to risk my personal safety or that of the others who ride her.

I have a call in to her vet of 5 years, who knows this mare through rehab of the fractured withers, but I do not know this vet’s stance on euthanasia. How do I broach the topic of euthanasia, given this mare’s quirks?

[RemarkableOwl21]

I think your explanation sounds reasonable and I would not think most vets would judge you for the decision. I would emphasize the quality of life issues, the safety issues, and the budget concerns. Likewise, it seems more humane to euthanize than sell and risk her ending up in a very bad situation.

[alterusername]

Thank you - I needed the validation. I have a fairly extensive maintenance budget (I’ve spent close to 10k if not more in the past two years on vet bills for this mare to stay in light work), but the maintenance is sadly failing. This is my first horse

[hybriseris]

If the vet has known the horse for that long, I can’t imagine they won’t understand once you mention your concerns and how she appears to be getting worse despite everything you’ve tried. You have obviously explored many avenues. I think the horse’s comfort would be reason enough. Handler/rider safety, and budget concerns, are just the horrible cherry on top. It’s a very valid thing to be considering - she sounds agitated, in pain, and stressed 24/7 on top of being unable to be safe around other horses, which is no way to live.

I’m sorry this is your first ownership experience. Thank you for putting her first.

[BigMama1]

@alterusername

I have a call in to her vet of 5 years, who knows this mare through rehab of the fractured withers, but I do not know this vet’s stance on euthanasia. How do I broach the topic of euthanasia, given this mare’s quirks?

I can’t imagine good vet would argue against euthanasia in this case. In fact I bet they will relieved to have you suggest it. They probably spend way too much of their time watching horses suffer while the owners aren’t ready to “give up on them.”

[S1969]

I think most vets understand the cost of horses, and why having a retired horse at such a young age is very difficult.

I only object to the idea that the mare is “not happy without a job” because I think that’s not true for most horses. They can live very happily in retirement without jobs. But, that requires having turnout and routines that might not work where she is currently boarded, and/or within your budget.

I think it is possible that your vet might ask about or suggest retirement, so it’s probably best to be prepared for that. There is nothing wrong, however, with admitting that you are not able to find a reasonable retirement option that would make her happy. Good retirement boarding is hard to find and not cheap.

[Small_Change]

If you’re struggling with how to actually broach the topic in conversation, I would lead with something like, “I am finding that keeping Mare comfortable and happy is becoming increasingly challenging, and I am considering euthanasia due to her diminishing quality of life.” The vet may be incredibly supportive, given that they know you and the mare, or that may be your opening to start the conversation.

My personal belief is that there are things far, far worse than a quiet, peaceful end for a horse (anything, really), and that they often keep trying for us under far more duress than we realize. I choose a veterinary practice with not only the skill and expertise to help my horses, but also one that shares this mindset. I appreciate a conversation with the vet when it comes time to make the decision (I would feel funny if they just accepted the request point blank without seeking to understand how I reached the decision, provided it wasn’t a blatantly obvious need for euthanasia), but would be very unhappy if I was on the receiving end of aggressive push back for a reasonable request. Your situation sounds very reasonable, in my mind.

[Amy3996]

Bringing it to your vet’s attention as concern for her quality of life would be my suggestion. It sounds like her medical history and maintenance needs are fairly extensive, which can make retirement challenging in the best of circumstances. Factor in financial constraints and the difficulty in finding a safe/reputable retirement facility… I would think this conversation would not come as a shock to your vet.

As for actually facilitating the conversation - see if you can schedule some time to have an uninterrupted conversation with your vet. When I went through this with my gelding a couple of years ago, my vet called me while her tech drove to another client. She said “I’ll be in the car for the next 45 minutes - let’s talk this through.” She was kind enough to give me her undivided attention, knowing that this was the most difficult decision I’d ever have to make for him.

Allow yourself and your vet the time and space to work through it together. Given that you’ve known each other for some time now, I’d hope that your vet would be willing and able to meet you halfway.

[4horses]

Field turnout with lunging in an arena would be an acceptable retirement situation. She’s not sound enough to be in work, but she might be okay with free lunging or occasional forced exercise with a retirement situation. Does she require shoes? Does she require all this expensive maintenance? I would do pain medication, and turnout. That’s it. If she is already in an established herd, then she may be fine with her buddies as those are horses she already knows. Witchy mares tend to resent changes in turnout companions.

Are her feet painful? As rearing and difficulty with the farrier tend to indicate painful feet. Or does she just rear under saddle?

If that fails then euthanize.

[Small_Change]

@4horses

Field turnout with lunging in an arena would be an acceptable retirement situation. She’s not sound enough to be in work, but she might be okay with free lunging or occasional forced exercise with a retirement situation. Does she require shoes? Does she require all this expensive maintenance? I would do pain medication, and turnout. That’s it. If she is already in an established herd, then she may be fine with her buddies as those are horses she already knows. Witchy mares tend to resent changes in turnout companions.

Are her feet painful? As rearing and difficulty with the farrier tend to indicate painful feet. Or does she just rear under saddle?

If that fails then euthanize.

There’s also no shame in not working through all possibilities for management, and instead choosing a peaceful end for the horse. While not directed at the above poster in any way, I do want to say that I don’t believe horse owners, as a whole, need to exhaust all management options before choosing euthanasia. Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should, or even than we need to. A kind, humane death is okay, even if there is more that could be done. If we are willing to vaccinate horses, then the needle poke for euthanasia is not tremendously different. Due diligence doesn’t always mean prolonging a life; sometimes it means ensuring quality of life and a peaceful death.

[Horsecrazy3]

I’ve had to euthanize several of my horses. Not once have my vets questioned my decision and they have always told me if the horse was theirs that would be their decision too. Quality of life is more important then quantity for a prey animal that is a master of hiding pain and frailty. A day to soon is better then a day late.

[colorfan]

This is the most difficult of caring for our loved ones. I think you have gone beyond what many would do already. To avoid any misunderstanding I think a straightforward outline of the mares issues, what you have done for her, then your concerns and your thought that it is time to euthanize. Don’t ask for an opinion. Simply state your request and ask for a date.
Don’t feel bad for helping her make a peaceful crossing, rather than an emergency visit when she is in dire need.
She is getting more difficult because she is hurting. (I know you know that)

[Lunabear1988]

I’ve had to euthanize two young horses. One we just could not truly figure out a way to manage. He was deteriorating and then got difficult for the farrier. My vet completely agreed that is was the right call as well as the farrier.

The other has wobblers and many other issues. This came to head very quickly (and actually had an incident where he almost fell on the farrier.) I consulted multiple vets even after we knew he had so much wrong with him, including the Wobblers. All vets agreed that retirement wasn’t a great option. He would not be cheap even to retire nor was he really safe to have around people anymore.

It was heartbreaking but I never had a vet question it in the least. I think most are understanding. Retiring a horse does had limits for most people.

Hugs to you.

[TheHunterKid90]

“Hi vet, I wanted to speak to you about Fluffy’s future. As you know, I’ve used extensive resources and time to try and manage her variety of issues and subsequent injuries.
Despite the care I’ve given her and the $ I’ve invested into making her comfortable, I don’t believe I’m succeeding.
I feel as though if I continue, I will continue to pour resources into her to no avail. I don’t believe she is happy or mentally thriving and I don’t want to selfishly continue down this road with her.
Since I don’t believe she is a candidate to be rehomed, would you be open to discussing a humane euthanasia?

I can almost guarantee your vet will be more than willing to discuss it with you.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. hugs

[Texarkana]

I’ve had a vet push back on euthanasia. He was wrong: wrong in his assessment of the situation and wrong to push back at all. He made me feel like a schmuck for wanting to euthanize a horse with a catastrophic open fracture. Ironically, I watched him euthanize probably a half dozen horses over the years at another farm for much lesser reasons, so I don’t know why I was the recipient of a guilt trip.

Anyway, I only share this because sometimes (rarely), you do encounter what you fear.

If you do, don’t feel bad. Just thank the vet for their opinion and move on. You are not a schmuck for considering this. I think you would find the majority of vets would agree with euthanizing a horse with multiple health problems affecting her quality of life.

[pompeiii]

@colorfan

Don’t ask for an opinion. Simply state your request and ask for a date.

I second this. I had to put down my 14 year old mare several years ago. I called, spoke to the office, and stated my intentions. Now, she had numerous health issues, but we never actually spoke about euthanasia. When I started thinking about it, it was my farrier who gave me the push (everyone else gave me suggestions about what to try next). I called the office, asked to make an appointment…and my vet was at a conference. The office just arranged for another vet to come out on an agreed upon date and arranged everything else (disposal, etc. so I didn’t have to and so the timing would be perfect). In my case, the vet who came out took one look at her and thought she was a good 10+ years older, was super kind, and never once questioned my choice.

I find if you have regular vet care and pay your bills, most vets don’t or shouldn’t push back on end of life decisions. I know I could make a call today (or 4 years ago) with my senior and no one would question it (he has far more good days than bad and yes, I’m not ready yet). The second I got push back, I’d find a new practice. If you get push back, I’d ask why. There is no shame in a dignified end. Euthanasia isn’t the worst ending. Pain and discomfort are far worse.

[wsmoak]

@colorfan

Don’t ask for an opinion. Simply state your request and ask for a date.

This. FWIW when I did this recently for a 30-year-old horse I used a different vet than my usual one. I thought it was easier on everyone, for the vet not to have a long relationship with the animal. I know it’s their job but it still can’t be easy.

For the record, even though my intention was to just make the appointment, of course it was hard and I asked the receptionist if the vet would need to discuss it and have a reason. She said no, it was my decision.

[MsM]

I agree that you call and state that you need an appointment for euthanasia. In some practices, you simply speak with the office person. In others, the vet will speak to you directly. Simply stating that, despite the team’s best efforts, the mare appears painful and is becoming dangerous to handle and you have reached your limit with her and just wish for a peaceful passing for her.

Depending upon your vet and your relationship, there may be some questions and/or suggestions about more that could be done. I think vets may feel obligated to point them out, even if they agree that it is not practical or in the horse’s interest. Simply restate that you wish it done and that should be it. Most vets tread very carefully around these issues as they dont want to be seen as making the decision in a case with any ambiguity.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

@colorfan

Don’t ask for an opinion. Simply state your request and ask for a date.

I’m going to third or fourth this.

The one time I had to ask for a non-emergency euthanasia was with a horse much like yours - extensive arthritis and old age had made her quality of life very poor. I simply called my vet, explained that I felt the time had come to put the mare down, and the appointment was made right then and there. My vet’s practice knows me well enough (and I imagine yours does as well) to know that this wasn’t a cavalier decision.

Your vet knows her history. Simply say that in recent months, her behavior has become more erratic, and you think it’s due to pain; you’re worried she will harm herself or someone else; you don’t want to put her through more stress and pain; you believe the time has come to let her go. Then ask for the appointment. Don’t phrase it as a question. Don’t ask your vet if he/she thinks it’s right. It’s your horse, and your decision - and your responsibility to do the right thing for her.

[candyappy]

@alterusername

I do not know this vet’s stance on euthanasia.

Any vet worth using would not question you after treating this mare for 5 years . I would say everything you said here and explain that you are out of money and the mare is progressively more dangerous to handle.

No matter what she feels personally, she should be able to put her personal opinion aside and do what you ask since the mare is deteriorating. I am sorry. It is a hard thing to go through. I hope the vet makes it easier, not harder.