Dividing stalling costs at a show -what’s fair?

[Annie10]

I’m
With Essex Girl

[KBC]

@joiedevie99

@KBC

Well she wants to ride him at 4th level for the last time this year, so he would be there.

Just throwing this out there in case it is relevant to someone who reads this thread - if we are talking about a rated dressage show, the horse can only show in two consecutive levels regardless of who is riding. That means the lowest level you could show at the same show is 3rd if trainer is showing 4th.

We are talking about Working Equitation, not dressage, and there is not the same rule as to consecutive levels.

[red_mares]

If it were me, I would expect to pay full freight for the horse. I would expect to pay half the trainer’s lodging.

My trainer frequently takes one of his horses to shows. When that happens, the splits are calculated based on the number of horses. If he takes 4 horses, and 1 is mine I pay 25%. If he takes 5, it’s 20%, regardless of who owns them.

I’ve found that being a cheapskate in an expensive, luxury sport doesn’t endear you to anyone. I guarantee you, play that card and anyone else involved will notice. It may not be said to your face, but something will be said. If you want to show the horse again, don’t squeeze a nickel until the buffalo sh!ts.

[trubandloki]

@red_mares

My trainer frequently takes one of his horses to shows. When that happens, the splits are calculated based on the number of horses. If he takes 4 horses, and 1 is mine I pay 25%. If he takes 5, it’s 20%, regardless of who owns them.

When I was showing we did splits similarly in the barn. Tack room split was by horses.
Lodging split was by the number of riders.

[Edre]

@KBC

The cheapskate part says, well if I wasn’t going she would still have him there all week so she could show him.

recommend never letting this voice speak “outside” words Only inside thoughts.

For clarification: The things she is looking to ride him in, would they be on the same day as your rides, or are the things she’s riding him in on separate days? (Example, the upper level classes run saturday/sunday but all your things are done on friday? Or is it more a situation that your classes are over for the day by 11am and she wants to take him in a class at 3pm same-day?) This really probably won’t change my answer much but at the end of the day, it might a little.

Ultimately if I were in the same situation I would expect to pay for:
Trailering there/back
Stabling (all the days I am riding - if I trailer in early a day to have a warm up/tour day before the show, that’s on my bill)
Class entry fees I am riding in
Coaching fees (My trainer tends to do a flat rate by day)

My trainer and split the hotel room and food expenses because we room together and eat together at shows.

It sounds like you don’t lease this horse, you just pay for lessons - so if she wanted to charge a show-lease fee or use fee, that wouldn’t be an outlandish concept, either… if she doesn’t charge that, then I would pay everything related to the horse show with extreme gratitude because your trainer could be (reasonably) asking for quite a bit of money related to this kind of arrangement.

[OverandOnward]

Not to mention that the horse you will ride is a undoubtedly a much better performer because the trainer has him going well at a more advanced level, at the same time as your rides. You are lucky to have the opportunity, frankly.

Your trainer is allowing you to take reap the benefits of her current work on the horse. Trainers won’t always do that, because the horse goes better if it is ridden consistently by the trainer, with no rides by students. Trainers want that credit for making up the horse. Not losing points because the horse is not quite as sharp because a student is also riding the horse at the same show.

[KBC]

@OverandOnward

You are lucky to have the opportunity, frankly.

Oh yes, am so aware of how lucky I am, not only riding a horse who is so well trained, but also is so safe! He is a unicorn, and I am blessed, I don’t underestimate that part of the equation.

[OverandOnward]

Well, yeah, you kinda do underestimate that part of the equation. Cheapskate personality doesn’t remember anything about it.

[S1969]

@OverandOnward

Well, yeah, you kinda do underestimate that part of the equation. Cheapskate personality doesn’t remember anything about it.

That’s kind of unfair, because she also added:

@KBC

But me, Essex Girl, thinks I just should pay all his costs, because I am using him every day, AND he’s worth it, and my trainer is more than fair about things…

I think anyone who didn’t think through “what is fair” is probably an idiot.

[Angela_Freda]

@red_mares

I’ve found that being a cheapskate in an expensive, luxury sport doesn’t endear you to anyone. I guarantee you, play that card and anyone else involved will notice. It may not be said to your face, but something will be said. If you want to show the horse again, don’t squeeze a nickel until the buffalo sh!ts.

That’s an interesting take on her comments and questions.
Asking isn’t being any of these things imo

This sport is expensive and disappearing.
If we squeeze out those trying to do it on a budget it will only get moreso.
.

[KBC]

Thank you, I appreciate that thought.

Yes it’s an expensive sport, and this is my last year of competition I fear, the last big HURRAH, then my aspirations will be a lesson when I can, and catch rides if possible when I can’t afford them, we will see.

I was indeed thinking out loud, asking for others views, to help me decide what is fair. I never said that I was going to try and wriggle out of anything, just interested in others thoughts.

[FromTheGalaxy]

Some of the comments here are not it. Many have been kind and fair in their responses, and I agree that being a “cheapskate” in this situation is not the way to go when a trainer is giving you a wonderful opportunity.

However, the people ragging on the OP for asking about what cost splits are fair, are the same people that bemoan owners/parents who they perceive as being naive and taken advantage of by trainers who know people don’t know better. You can’t have it both ways, complaining both when people ask questions and when they don’t.

[candyappy]

@Paint_Party

When I showed h/j I was always hit with a split of not only my trainer’s hotel room, but also for their meals. Depending on the trainer, I never knew if they were doing a Hilton or a Red Roof Inn. Or if I’d be eating frozen dinners in the motel room microwave while they were hobnobbing at 5-star restaurants. Sometimes there were… surprises.

This just seems so wrong to me but I realize it seems to be the accepted " norm" for many in the world of showing horses and clients seem to just fork it over willingly .

I couldn’t enjoy my food if my client was not eating the in the same way…

[jvanrens]

@red_mares

don’t squeeze a nickel until the buffalo sh!ts.

No buffaloes shitting on Canadian nickles. The nerve of her to even ask.

[OverandOnward]

@FromTheGalaxy

However, the people ragging on the OP for asking about what cost splits are fair, are the same people that bemoan owners/parents who they perceive as being naive and taken advantage of by trainers who know people don’t know better.

This is a untrue negative toward … I don’t know who, exactly, because it fits no post in this thread so far.

No one is ragging on OP for asking about fair cost splits. People have been more than happy to share their experience with that, in more than one thread on COTH, and over many years.

Also you are accusing these unknown authors of posts (posts that are not present in this thread so far) of having certain attitudes. You have no idea what anyone else posting actually thinks. That’s really inappropriate to the discussion, imo. You might think about your phrasing, next time.

@KBC

The cheapskate part says, well if I wasn’t going she would still have him there all week so she could show him.

This is the remark from the first post that understandably pushed some people the wrong way. It was an unnecessary addition to the question. But it comes across as if the OP included it anyway because OP was hoping for some agreement to allow her cheapskate personality to show for much less than the customary share.

People who show and don’t ask that question, who identify with the others in OP’s show party that will pay their share, didn’t take it well. I don’t think that’s out of line, as OP opened the box, as it were.

[trubandloki]

@OverandOnward

This is the remark that understandably pushed some people the wrong way. It was an unnecessary addition to the question. But it sounds as if the OP included it anyway because OP was hoping for some agreement to allow her cheapskate personality to show for much less than the customary share.

It is not understandable that people were pushed because of that comment, and it was not an unnecessary comment just because you do not like it.

If that comment was the only comment, it would be different, but that is not even close to the case here.

The OP made it very clear, from all the discussion, that they are fine paying whatever their trainer wants them to pay.
There is nothing wrong with admitting that if that is next to nothing, a person will be happy, when they also say that they understand that will not be the case.

[KBC]

@OverandOnward

This is the remark from the first post that understandably pushed some people the wrong way. It was an unnecessary addition to the question. But it comes across as if the OP included it anyway because OP was hoping for some agreement to allow her cheapskate personality to show for much less than the customary share

Now I am wondering what is necessary and what is not.

Again so often on COTH the opening post lacks details that people want, I add details and it is unnecessary, because I didn’t realize that it was bound to push people the wrong way. To me it was clear, but then I kind of live with fighting personalities the whole time…I mean we just came home from the city, and the me who shops for groceries was not the same me looking for treats when I was packing them away.

It’s a discussion point, I was not, am not, looking for validation of any choice, because for a start, not up to me to choose. How about we think, “maybe she is worried the trainer won’t ask enough”

It’s an interesting topic, when I travelled with my own horse, and my old trainer, it was obvious, I paid all of his stall costs, tack stall (s) and haulage was shared between all of us who went, we paid a daily fee for the trainer, she paid her own accommodation. Meals were kind of joint, if we had an air B&B or similar we all shared in a massive first night take out, that would last us a couple of days!

There are many ways this can work, I know, but have never shared a horse at an event, so it’s a first for me.

[red_mares]

I wasn’t talking explicitly about her. I was actually thinking of some people I’ve shown with who are pretty cheap. No one in my barn is rolling in money, but we make it work. The simple reality is that this is an expensive hobby. Showing at a half dozen shows or more in a season, then writing your horse’s name on the leather on the halter with a sharpie because you won’t spring for a $10 nameplate is just silly…and people notice.

[KBC]

@red_mares

Showing at a half dozen shows or more in a season, then writing your horse’s name on the leather on the halter with a sharpie because you won’t spring for a $10 nameplate is just silly…and people notice.

No it’s silly to me to spend money you don’t have on things that don’t matter.

Maybe I’m lucky, on my old show team we had everyone from “the girl who has everything, and best quality everything” to the girl who’s shoe string was so frayed that we all pitched in to lend stuff to help out. It didn’t matter what you had, as long as you were part of the team, and teams support each other.

[red_mares]

You do you. It’s just a head’s up on real life. If you are fine with it great, but don’t gripe about it later. ‘Support the team’ is great to a point. When it gets to the point where someone is borrowing show tack for years and often returns it dirty, that support dwindles.