Now I’m curious… why is neither saddle fitting you! In the 17", you are pushed up against the pommel trying to get your legs under you. That could be why people are thinking the 18" is better.
I would be curious to see you in a straighter saddle, where the stirrup bars are more under the seat. I call them “equitation” type saddles. For example, I like my Antares Spooner, my Butet, Tad Coffin, and CWD 01 SE for this reason. (I’ve had saddles fit to each horse).
This right here.
For what its worth, each time a saddle rep has tried to fit me for a custom they recommend a too-small seat (and flap). Unfortunately, I was flattered by one lady’s suggestion and went with it. The Antares showed up and it looked fit for a medium pony, flap ridiculously short, my butt squeezed on/mostly hanging off. Was awful. Sold it and got a used saddle an entire size bigger.
I think because OP asked for opinions and then proceeded to tell everyone that they couldn’t possibly fit in an 18 inch seat because they are 5’4" and a size 6-8… when it has been reiterated that it has nothing to do with what pant size you are. But it sounds like the OP has made up their mind and wants a 17 or 17.5 in this saddle, so I think that is what they should go with.
Middle aged woman now regrets sharing photo AND size on internet. Maybe everyone else has more self confidence than me but posting a photo and size online is not exactly a point of pride for me 
Of course your height and size gives an idea of the size saddle you sit in, and to pretend otherwise is being deliberately obtuse. There are many other variables, but a rough idea of the length of your legs and size of your bottom are a good place to start in saddle fit. I personally do not know anyone who is similar to my size who rides in an 18" saddle of any brand. I know this because I have been asking around about sitting in everyone’s saddles 
It’s really weird to me how that got twisted into something else.
As my initial post suggested, I was feeling like Goldilocks in this model - this is too big, that is too small - and I’m not sure that this saddle is going to work for me altogether. Thanks to everyone for helping me think through this one.
I’ll echo those that said that this saddle might just not be right for you in any size. I find that the size I’m most comfortable in often varies between brands and there are some that no matter what size or configuration they are the stirrup bar placement just isn’t right and/or the balance is wrong or something and it just doesn’t work. When I get that “Goldilocks” feeling with sizes and flaps that’s usually a sign that whatever saddle brand or model I’m trying just isn’t right for me.
Good luck! Saddle shopping is not for the faint of heart (nor is posting pictures!).
who’s pretending otherwise?
Likely because a LOT of people are riding in saddles too small for them. And then, what you see and hear and experience all around you becomes the default “right” way to do things even when presented with evidence to the contrary.
For what its worth, I’ve ridden most of my life in a 17" Hermes. I got a new saddle last year in a different brand that was a 17.5" but when you actually measure it its 18" despite what the manufacturer says. All that to say, you have to go with what feels good regardless of what the saddle says.
Ok seriously, just to get this out of the way, you are not “big” by any objective meaning of the word and if a discussion about an inch one way or the other is affecting your self esteem then that is beyond the scope of an Internet forum.
I doubt anyone is sitting with a loupe trying to figure out your age or body fat percentage. They are trying to give you some idea about how you fit in a saddle.
Thinking is changing, I’d say on any given day I’m looking around, half or more of people are riding in saddles too small for them, me included because I don’t have a custom fit-both ways saddle for all 6 of mine. Saddle companies are probably slow on the uptake and fitters have to work within multiple constraints, including ego.
I join the chorus of others who think you will be best served by the larger saddle but at the end of the day, it’s your horse/butt/budget.
I am 5’9", long legged and take an 18 inch saddle. The one thing that stands out to me on the 17 you picture is that your knee is at the very edge. You look stuffed into the saddle.
From what I can see you do have good room at the back. Maybe you just need a more forward flap on the 17 to get the knee room you need??
Overall the picture of you in the 18 looks better.
ETA: if you are used to riding in a too small saddle a larger one would feel too big. Doesn’t mean it is.
I don’t think that height/weight/age/body type are a be all end all for a numbered saddle size. It depends a lot of seat depth, flap length and width, twist of the saddle, balance point of the saddle and largely how it fits the horse you’re riding. I can ride in anything from a 17" (older, flat Butet that notoriously sits larger) to and 18" Voltaire. I currently ride in a 17.5" 2012 model CWD 2G saddle. Is it absolutely perfect for me? No. Could I probably ride in a 18"? yes. However, I am on a budget, I could try this saddle without shipping anything and my trainer and I agreed it fit well and wasn’t working against me. Plus its a versatile enough panel configuration that I can use it on several different horses with the use of different half pads. I think you know pretty quickly if a saddle isn’t going to work. Whether it’s because of how it fits you, how it fits the horse or some combination of both.
FWIW, I’m 35, 5’7" and weigh approximately 175 lbs. I’ve also had two children within the last 5 years and my body is not shaped like it once was. I’ll include a picture of myself and my lease horse. Yes, I am posting it on the internet knowing full well that probably more than one person will think I am overweight or that my saddle is too small.
Thank you for saying this. I don’t think a single person has commented about OP’s body outside the context of saddle fitting.
Personally, there’s not room. Ok, restating - there is barely enough room in the back, I’m sure a hand’s width can fit back there. But there is nooooooo wiggle room at all, because she’s practically on top of the pommel. There needs to be a hand in front and back for the overall seat size to fit, and that’s before you get into whether you’re able to properly sit in the middle of it.
Exactly
I missed that!! I was so focused on her knees. You are 100% correct.
Add me to the 18 looking like a much better fit.
Im built really weird. 5’6, 132lbs and bottom heavy but long legs. It’s a crap shoot to find pants that are consistent in a size that works for me let alone a saddle. When I ordered my AP saddle, I ordered a 17” because I had previously been riding in that size/brand. Looking back, I should have gotten an 18”. When I got my western saddle, I took that into account and have a much better fit.
To be 100% clear, the only reason I regret putting my size in the post is because many people seem to think I am hung up on it. I’m not. I simply included this detail that I thought was relevant. I really had no idea anyone cared this much 
but it’s nice that y’all are trying to save me from myself. I swear I don’t have any body issues 
Gonna go out on a limb and say something I haven’t seen posted yet…how long a saddle can your horses back accommodate healthily?
My horse has a short weight bearing section of his back even at 16.3h, I am 5’11". Technically I can fit up to an 18" on him but they tend to make him a bit sore in his lower back even though it technically fits on paper. We compromise and I ride in a 17.5" Stubben with a freakishly forward flap (pray for me when I try to buy a shaped hunter pad). I am balanced and my horse is happy. Yes, I probably need a bigger saddle technically but this combo is working really well. The plethora of 18" saddles I have tried and the 18.5" I have tried were all a big no from my horse and that’s ok.
Pretty sure, but correct me if I am wrong, that those saddles are Stubben Phoenix Elite’s which I love. I ride in a Portos Elite but the Phoenix were my #2 choice. Tend to have a flatter seat, narrower twist from my experience a great spot for riding. Stubbens also place the rider close to the horses center of gravity, so closer to the pommel than the back seat, never had an issue with it chafing or being uncomfy. I had a nightmare of a time with CWD and Voltaire though on this but that’s irrelevant to this thread.
TBH neither saddle looks balanced on the horse which I get because it’s just demos. I think a lot of the issues with the 17" is because it looks pommel high which you are compensating for by leaning forward and enhancing the “'too small saddle” look in the pic. Likewise, the 18" looks like it might be cantle high just standing still which we obviously know is no way to check a fitting saddle, it needs to be assessed in motion for horse and rider but I digress. Flap on the second one is good for your leg (are you in jumping or flatting stirrups?) I would say but I think the balance of the seats are making things look different from how they feel if they were balanced particularly in the 17".
I also know from my Stubben fitting, some saddle demos in the 17" range had weirdly small flaps, narrow and straighter and short also enhancing the too small look. TBH the seats don’t look all the different to me, a bit more room up front in the 18" but even though the back bit on the 17" is cut off but there looks to be similar length behind. I think the 18" looks better because the flap is better. I once sat in a 19" Tad Coffin with like mini flaps and it looked too small on me because of the lack of flap even though I was swimming in the seat. So a lot of people are saying the 18", I would be inclined to go 17.5" max and just find a better fitting flap for your leg. I think a 17", considering your size (cause you aren’t almost 6ft like me) would be fine with an appropriate flap, that one is just not forward enough, if it were the comments would be different. How the seat feels is very important. I know people are saying “it’s not just what it feels like it’s what is the correct size either way”. That’s true yes, but in my case as explained above, it was very much not the best to go with what technically was correct. Too small a saddle is just as hard to balance in as too large a saddle the balances are all off either way. If it were me, I would purchase neither of those saddles, and find a 17-17.5" with a more forward flap or order new if you were planning on it.
Also, FYI Stubben has great after market modifications available. So if you find the tree and seat you like but need new flaps in a new size they are fabulous. I have worked with them before on making my tree a size narrower and changing the leather accents because I bought mine second hand and hated the accent leather color. They are great so there is that option as well. Kind of enjoying how involved the replies are getting, props to you if you read through them all 
Yep, Phoenix Elites I ride in a Portos Elite now and am struggling to keep my leg on the horses so I wanted to try the Phoenix Elite again for the closer feel - which I definitely immediately felt. I got the Portos Elite 2 years ago when I felt like my old saddle was too small and was nearly worn out anyway - so at the time, I told the Stubben fitter that I figured I would start with trying a 17.5" seat. She (along with others) said that Stubben measurements are generous so likely I would fit a 17". So that’s what I ended up with - and I think it is small but I feel better balanced in it than my previous 17" saddle (a Northrun Ashland II which I have had forever). In both the Phoenix Elite and my old Ashland I have nearly immediate relief feeling my leg on the horse is not such a struggle.
I ride 2 16.3h horses - both with fairly prominent withers. One with a very low back that is a struggle to balance. The other has a short back. So yes, the saddle size is relevant there as well - in addition to the fact that the 18" saddle just felt too big for me.
While I 100% understand the point that many posters have made that you are comfortable with what you are used to, I am not going to buy any saddle that really feels uncomfortably one way or another to me.
I really miss the old days when tack shops had more saddles in inventory to try many at once.
I don’t think so either- it looks like the placement of the working center to the stirrup bar and the forward point of the flap just don’t jive with your particular hip and femur conformation. You look like you have to be quite forward in the saddle to get your leg to its happy place. It was better in the larger seat size (longer working center so you had more of a place to sit) but it didn’t look like it was going to be optimal for you in the long run.
Saddle fitting is like trying to buy a bathing suit for two butts. It is only fun when done vicariously.
Yep! I’m 5’ and ride in a forward flap because I have long femurs. It’s all about your physical conformation.
I rode in a 16.5” Tad Coffin for 15 years and while it technically fit me (and I adored it), the feeling I got when I sat in a 17” Voltaire with a forward flap was insane. I was like “Your whole butt is supposed to fit in your saddle?!” I’m so much more comfortable and my position is tighter than ever!
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