Do horses masturbate?

[Lisamarie8]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by joliemom:
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lisamarie8:
Loose Horse no halter - I bet you’re a real blast at parties
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Yeah, and don’t even suggest a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

Loose Horse no halter, maybe you should change your name to Loose Cannon fully loaded.

“Never trust a man in a blue trench coat, never drive a car when you’re dead.” Tom Waits<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY!!! joliemom! anyone who is not full of crap knows that you don’t actually have to use the tail to pin the tail on the donkey. The preferred method is to go up through the frog, around the elbow to get to the ass.

— I may be love’s b*tch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.

[msj]

OMG I’m really FOMCLMAO at this thread.

It’s reminding me of my draft cross gelding that was always letting it ‘air’ out. The first time I went to clean his sheath, I thought he was going go thru the roof that I was touching it. Then, all of a sudden, I didn’t have to do much except ‘hold it’ and he did the rest!

msj

You know you’re a horse person when…you can find your boots by smell.

PWBTB@WC (People who browse the BB at Work Clique)

[Loose_Horse_No_Halte]

I’m still on Training Level but naughty horses are about to alter that status! Oh what some people will do to climb the ladder!!
Please, no pics!! What will the developers at Wall Mart think!!

“Loose horse on the main track”

[dressager]

I hope I don’t regret posting this, but asking my somewhat cute male vet would be too weird.

My horse doesn’t really do any of the behaviors listed here, etc but he drops it about 75% of the time when I’m around. According to others and from what I’ve observed, he doesn’t do this unless I’m with him. What does this mean?

(I’ll run for the hills now! )

Dressager
You can’t dance and stay uptight

[slc2]

alot of that is involuntary movements and there’s some sort of formal name for it. it’s normal for all male horses to move it around quite often during the day.

my horse was so studdy when i got him that even the sight of a tack trunk would set him off. ‘‘no boy, no, not an inanimate object…’’

‘‘the boys at the barn’’ were in a gelding turnout group. it would all start by rubbing their heads on the rump of a new horse, and then it would all start to look like a…i can’t even say it here.

my barn manager seemed to think it was a marvelous idea to cut down the number of turnouts by putting my guy out with a mare. so i got to see the ‘‘full range of natural behaviors’’, and was always having to try and keep him from getting up on her when i was bringing them both in.

carol grant i think it was said, ‘‘oh go on! it’s good for his piaffe muscles! let him!’’

so i turned a blind eye to it for some time.

sparky did seem to have some pretty good stomach muscles, but he’d be so tired when i went to ride him that i’d practically get a heart attack trying to make him go.

i thought it would be odd to tell the EMT’s that i got a heart attack because my horse was out in a field having se* all day.

would they understand?

not only that, but the mare owner actually TOOK THE HORSE OUT OF THE BARN, because ‘‘i just can’t UNDERSTAND why she’s so in season all the time!’’

[Loose_Horse_No_Halte]

Go back and read Spot’s junk, then tell your vet about Spot’s little stories of entering the vaginal canal w/ Spot’s arm for dosing a lavage & Spot’s claim of the mare humping him, and THEN tell who’s being insulting…whenever someone BSs you, they’re insulting your intelligence. Judging by most of the posts I’m guessing that’s not amounting to much. Spot should go South of the border to catch the show he/she’s looking for. …walking a fine line for what’s legal in this country.
Being giggly is one thing but this person is not quite right.

“Loose horse on the main track”

[Loose_Horse_No_Halte]

SPOT: the above posts were referring to feed tubs, wheelbarrow handles, walls & such. Never seen those inserted vaginally (now if we were talking humans you could take that bit and run w/ it).
Goldentoes: As for enjoying their tails rubbed even if clean, well duh. Add necks, withers, ears, chins, eyes… all rather non-eroneous (sp?) areas to a horse but will curl a lip none the less even when clean.
I never said horses don’t like sex, but they are not like humans…sex for fun & not just reproduction would open mares up to all sorts of infection and lower the grade of uterine tone (no more babies). They already are a tough species to reproduce % naturally. Show me a horney mare who is not in heat and I’ll bet she has an infection, cyst, hormonal imbalance (natural or induced), etc…throwing her out of wack already.
Colts masturbate out of necessity. Anything relaxing can set them off. Half asleep & yawning even.
But glad you all are having fun with it anyway. Do stay away from the sheep (I’m only KIDDING!! )

“Loose horse on the main track”

[caffeinated]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Loose Horse - No Halter:
Do stay away from the sheep (I’m only KIDDING!! )<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

HA! I didn’t even see this comment until, well… now! snort!

oh dear… I think my mind is permanently corrupted by this thread…

---

~Come the Rapture, can I have your car???~

[flponygirl]

I also have one of those chicken chokers. TB gelding who folks swear “has a testicle up there somewhere.” He is so stallion-like that he literally killed a life sized horse statue 2 nights ago.

“Dogs have owners, cats have staff.”

[Oldenburg_Mom]

Spot,

Here’s my support for pulling that “Ignore” switch down in the voting booth.

Consider it done.

Now about Willem and his winning the contest…

[B]The adventure has begun…[/B]
KT

[sketcher]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Beezer:
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Celtic Witch:
Monty just hobbles behind her! We went quite a way the first time before he slid off.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And doesn’t that just sound like a guy!

Dear Sam: All I really want for my birthday is FLYING LEAD CHANGES!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Is he snoring?

[Oldenburg_Mom]

Goldentoes …

do I dare think it, much less say it… (like us all)

<KT BLUSHES CRIMSON>

[B]The adventure has begun…[/B]
KT

[ika]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kerby:
Well her mare is out there, legs spread, tail to one side, gelding on her back… now you can image what 10 little kids said when they saw this. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
The exact same thing happened one year while I was working at my barn’s camp. A mare and gelding who had been turned out together for ages decided to go at it right in front of all the kids. The gelding actually entered the mare…She was loving it! We herded all the kids inside and ran to separate them…I left it to the barn manager to try and explain what was going on.

I also recently noticed that one of our schoolie mares really gets into rubbing herself on the wall when she is in heat…never thought much of it until I read this post and realized what she’s doing!

you know I can’t let you slide through my hands…wild horses couldn’t drag me away…

[Spot]

okay - now its MY turn for a question!

I saw this product advertised on a stallion supply site, and it is called “Stallion Brushes”.

Now - I have to profess - what the heck is it and what does it do?? And what would you use it for?

I just dont think you would brush the poor things “down there” with brushes ???

A totally confused “Spot”

[monstrpony]

And then there’s my donkey girls, who get off on the wheelbarrow handles… (when they aren’t scratching their ears on same )

---

He’s not really a pony, and I’m really not “pony aged” either.

[tyedyecommando]

I caught my perverted horse pleasing himself while I was pulling his mane. I guess he is in to the S&M thing because I can’t see that as being very pleasurable

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.
Jack Handy

[SoEasy]

Now imagine that you have a really nice stallion, and a really nice mare, and they are both ‘virgins’ …

We were smart enough to get an experienced handler to come hold the stallion during this exercise, but I had teased and cleaned him myself, and then was the mare handler…

Unbelievably, all goes well … UNTIL … the deed is done, the boy looks exhausted, and he can’t figure out how to get down … fell off sideways, kersplat ::OUCH:: (he never did that again)

So, Spot, I need to thank you for telling that story! I thought for years he was the only horse who had ever had quite that sort of dismount

[Liberty]

Well, even though the original question has been (quite thoroughly) answered, I have to add that my gelding has sported a woody on more than one occasion. Only twice, though, has he beat his drum with any witnesses around.

Normally, he’s quite modest (hates sheath cleaning and needs a goodly dose of “happy horse” before he’ll grudgingly submit), but occasionally during grooming (either by me or my mare), his “kickstand” (LOL) comes down. There was the time, though, when his anticipation of a few ginger snaps when I took too long to get them out of the box resulted in quite a show.

As for my mare, my gelding couldn’t care less about her, even when she’s in a raging heat. The other day when I let him out of his stall after breakfast, my in-heat girl immediately sidled over to him, and did the squat, winky thing in his face. When that got no response, she stuck her head down in his sheath area, to which my gelding just switched his tail and walked off. She was so indignant.

I keep telling her that while he may LOOK like he’s got the equipment, he ain’t going to use it, and I swear she’s going to get her head kicked in one of these days.

The most embarrassing time, though, was when my farrier was here (a young, very good-looking guy). I had my gelding tied in the aisle, next to my mare’s stall door. Farrier and I were shooting the breeze when we both looked over to see my mare and gelding “necking” (doing the mutual nipping/grooming thing along each other’s crests). My gelding was obviously enjoying it FAR too much. I could feel my face turning many shades of red. My farrier just laughed and said “oh great, show it off, Big Guy”.

Oh, and I have a cat (neutered when he was a kitten) who, now after 9 years, has created a “special friend” in the form of the edge of his cat bed. The other day, one of my other cats was hacking up a hairball while Mr. HotStuff was humping his bed, and my husband walks through the house saying “Oh, this is just lovely; over here we have a cat “herking up” on the floor, and over there, another is getting his rocks off.”

Animals - you just gotta love 'em.

[SuperCal]

I think my mind has been permanently corrupted bursts out laughing

[Oldenburg_Mom]

monstr –

*GROSS

[B]The adventure has begun…[/B]
KT