Absolutely not. And the mother had a great deal of nerve to even ask.
In the situation you describe, I’d be a definitely no. What does it gain for you? Not much, if anything, unless your horse needs miles or is up for sale and you want it to be seen. Not the case here, it seems. And the liability…yikes. When I had a horse for sale this year and had teens coming to try him, I was a wreck, even with signed releases, lots of insurance, and trainer oversight. This type of situation, where I didn’t even really know the family, would be an absolute NO.
As everyone has already said for numerous reasons = NO.
It will be less complicated, less stress, and less RISK for you to just politely decline. If she’s a decent person, she will accept your decline with good nature. If she protests and/or complains … well then you know you just cleared yourself of a ton of drama!
[QUOTE=Wellspotted;7881073]
I was a horse loving child whose parents could not/did not buy me a horse .[/QUOTE]
We would have gotten along fine … I guess I had a hidden agenda when we loaned our horse out. I had been kind of cornered several times by very rich grand parents who wanted our horse for their grand kids; big money was offered and turned down and I was marked as a fool.
So it made it easy for me to loan my horse to unknown riders who always wanted a horse
I think it is fine to say no. I have been on both sides of this BUT in each case I knew the other person and often it was a horse still in the barn. One time someone offered a ride on a horse I had been riding that had been sold to them and I had qualified for medal finals on but I already had a ride on another horse, but I had kept in touch with them and was on good terms with their trainer. I don’t think it is wrong or right to go either way in this case, I do think it is a little out of place for the mom to ask, it would be different if you offered. I would have never have dreamed to ask for the ride on the horse that was sold, but I was touched they offered!
Responding to your thread title, sure, other people ride my horses, I have two so guests or son ride with me, or I will loan one to a friend in need if we are going on the same trail ride. But in the scenario you describe, heck no. As you note, you bought the horse,he is yours, no strings attached. I think the request is a bit cheeky.
There’s no reason you need to, but it would be a nice thing to do. Contrary to the popular Wicked quote, good deeds are good things to do :). It will not hurt your pony bonding to you ;).
I’d set it up as a show lease where she pays a substantial fee for the specified use of the pony for the show. Show leases aren’t uncommon in the H/J world, so your trainer should be able to give you some guidance on how to set it up.
Then again, he’s your pony so it’s your prerogative to just say “no.”
I would say no.
Oh for pete’s sake, the pony owner is even supposed to haul the pony. The mom is a user!
[QUOTE=ThisTooShallPass;7881169]
Oh for pete’s sake, the pony owner is even supposed to haul the pony. The mom is a user![/QUOTE]
That is probably why the trainer is not who asked and if you ask the trainer, that may be nixed in the bud right there.
You don’t know the kid really was riding that horse so much or was supposed to show it, unless you confirm that with the trainer.
I think I would check things out a bit more if you were even considering it out of the goodness of your heart to go with this request.
I agree with LaurieB. The mother has some nerve even asking you! Is this the entitled world we live in now?
I grew up a lesson kid and frequently watched my favorite school horses get sold or leased to others. Yes, it sucked, but it was also REALITY. My family did not have enough money to own or lease a horse. I rode what was available to me and made the best of it. And fell in love with the new horses that came my way.
I think that mother is missing a valuable opportunity to teach her child a larger life lesson here.
I’m learning, the hard way, how to say NO. It doesn’t come naturally to me, but at some point I need to learn I don’t “owe” anyone anything. And you don’t either.
If your heart didn’t soar at the thought of your pony being ridden at the show, then that means you don’t think it’s a good idea, and that’s reason enough to say “no”.
And, not to put a TOTALLY negative spin on it, but if she rides him and doesn’t do well, you’ll surely take a share of the blame for that.
I’d probably pass on this one.
You’re just getting to know Pony, it’s not the trainer who’s asking but the mom (who had plenty of time to buy/lease Pony for her child if this were so important), and Mom wants you to bring Pony to show for them? Nope.
Reading between the lines, though, this sounds like a barn show, not a circuit one. If that’s the case, I’d cut Mom a little slack, since it’s probably just for one class one day and it never hurts to ask. Still, my answer would be no. Not to be crass, but what’s in it for you except the possibility of good karma? If, for whatever reason, Pony goes and isn’t a saint, aspersions might be cast. Not to mention the possibilty of Pony or Kid getting hurt. So, no.
I say this having just let my saintly packer go off to an A show with a little kid for a week. Entirely different situation - I’ve owned Saintly Packer for a year know, her trainer asked my trainer if there might be a lease horse for kid to ride, Saintly Packer loves to horse show and I was going to be gone for the week anyway, and they paid for everything (shipping + lease fee).
So, to answer your question, yes, there are circumstances where I let other folks ride (and even show!) my horse, but not just anyone or any time. Don’t feel a shred of guilt about saying No.
If the OP agrees, how will she then say no, after the girl does ride him and asks for more chances to ride?
It is better to say no once than have to still be in the same situation again, of needing to, eventually, say a firm no.
I have, over the years, had plenty of horses that were mine to exercise and train, but a jockey rode in races.
Now older, have horses with a trainer and when I had surgery, the trainer asked to let someone else ride and show the horses.
Some of those were kids that needed a bit of help and were wonderful all around.
I find it odd for a stranger to come asking as this mother did, why didn’t she ask the trainer to do so, if the story is true, the kid was expecting to ride the horse and the trainer thought that was ok with the new buyer of the horse?
That is what is strange here, how the situation reads doesn’t quite make sense.
I think the person to ask this question here is the trainer, if the OP is really considering this.
I would set up a “day lease” fee that starts at $150 per day if the pony was $5k or less, and goes up from there. They pay for all trailering and expenses additional, the amount of work you have to do is receive your check in the mail BEFORE the appointed day.
You can be super accommodating, “I’d love to!!” while also politely explaining that you are not paying board and shoes on your horse so that someone else can horseshow him without paying toward those expenses.
This will probably make her go away.
If you are an adult who is footing the bill on this pony, you can skip that whole thing and just say no if you don’t want to.
However, if (and I say this only because we are talking a pony going to kids shows) someone else is paying all of the bills, that someone else might appreciate the off chance of having someone else pay toward your pony’s expenses. If you are sensitive to the fact that someone else is paying a lot so that you can ride, finding opportunities to lessen the burden and at least making sure they are aware of the option would be the right thing to do. They might decide to go for it or not for their own reasons, but at least you have let them know that an opportunity existed to have a little lower bill this month.
As for the originally presented scenario where you just let the other person use your pony at a show with their trainer and you do the hauling and then kindly bring the pony back home when they are done the answer to that one is OH HAYULL NO.
Pay to use? And if the kid gets hurt, there is yet another dimension to how the OP will be sued to kingdom come by the user mommy!
Okay, say user mommy does not sue, her insurance company sure will!
So a bit of an update. As many people pointed out, I really have nothing to gain from this, except maybe good karma and the knowledge that I possibly made a happy difference in a young persons life. I was still leaning strongly towards ‘No’, but I decided to contact the trainer to get the scoop on this student and see what she had to say about the situation. The trainer emailed me back and was TERRIBLY apologetic. She had NO idea this woman was going to contact me. She told me not to bother replying, that she would speak the mother herself. Yikes! I get the impression that this trainer is a very no-nonsense woman. I hope I didn’t get the student/mom in too much trouble, it was not my intention. On the one hand, perhaps it was a bit overzealous for the mom to contact me, BUT…I can put myself in her shoes and see her thinking “Well the worst that can happen is she’ll say no…”
Let’s flip things around a bit… You’re the kid’s mother. Would you really feel comfortable asking for this? I cannot imagine anybody in their right mind having such a sense of self-entitlement. She doesn’t know you. And you just bought the pony. I agree she’s a user. Probably best for the kid to learn a lesson from this.
And I do let people ride my horses. People who I know. People who are appreciative. People I trust. Nobody who doesn’t fit that bill.
LOL, thanks for the update. Agree, sounds like the trainer means business! And may also know that mom might not be of the saner variety …
[QUOTE=tinyrider;7881378]
So a bit of an update. As many people pointed out, I really have nothing to gain from this, except maybe good karma and the knowledge that I possibly made a happy difference in a young persons life. I was still leaning strongly towards ‘No’, but I decided to contact the trainer to get the scoop on this student and see what she had to say about the situation. The trainer emailed me back and was TERRIBLY apologetic. She had NO idea this woman was going to contact me. She told me not to bother replying, that she would speak the mother herself. Yikes! I get the impression that this trainer is a very no-nonsense woman. I hope I didn’t get the student/mom in too much trouble, it was not my intention. On the one hand, perhaps it was a bit overzealous for the mom to contact me, BUT…I can put myself in her shoes and see her thinking “Well the worst that can happen is she’ll say no…”[/QUOTE]
You did just what I was going to suggest – contact the trainer about it. I think it was rude for the mother to contact you directly. She should have gone to the trainer and asked her to contact you if she (the trainer) thought it was appropriate.
I let a few other people ride my horses but they are people that I know and trust and they are not minors. For example, when my hunt horse was laid up last year, a friend let me hunt her wonderful horse. When her horse was injured this year, I was delighted to be able to return the favor.
Would I bring my pony to a show and let someone I didn’t know ride it? Unlikely. And it would require a referral from the trainer, a lease fee, charge for trailering, and a legally binding lease agreement, structured to protect you if the minor child gets injured or if something happens to your pony.
