Do you let other people ride your horse?

[SuckerForHorses]

[QUOTE=rhymeswithfizz;7881003]
No. If she had been training on that pony for months, she had plenty of opportunity to buy him herself. Unless this benefits you and pony somehow, you do not need to be financing someone else’s show career.[/QUOTE]

THIS!!! If they wanted to be able to continue using pony they could’ve bought it when it was for sale.

And to answer your question… No, I don’t let others ride my horse, with the exception of any paid professional I choose to lesson with or send him to train with.

[kmcnam]

It was pretty inappropriate for the mother to contact you in that way. Especially going behind their trainer’s back to try and acquire your pony for use. That in and of itself is a big red flag to me. Also it seems like the kid is not pony-less, which I would be able to sympathize with because I have often ridden borrowed horses thanks to the kindness of others. But if the kid has something to ride they need to figure out how to be grateful for that. For all you know the mother could be trying to get out of paying a day lease on a school pony for the show by going behind the trainer’s back and trying to find a free pony. Maybe not, maybe I’m just a bit cynical.

Unless you’re compensated financially, I really don’t see any upside. And should you choose to offer the pony for day lease, I would make sure you deal with the reputable professional, not with the mom who is apparently a fan of unsolicited contact. :lol:

[SnicklefritzG]

[QUOTE=LaurieB;7881094]
Absolutely not. And the mother had a great deal of nerve to even ask.[/QUOTE]

I feel the same way about it. OP, if you were at the same barn and other students were going, then I could understand the request. If you have moved to another barn and aren’t working with the same trainer, then the request doesn’t make sense.

I would tell the mom no and just say that your insurance doesn’t cover the liability associated with them taking the pony off the property where he currently resides.
Even though other people will likely say that “no” is a complete sentence, I think you might feel better by mentioning the liability issues anyway.

Besides, some people are like cats. They come around for food and if you feed them, they won’t go away.

Even though my horse is very nice and has a great attitude, I don’t let other people ride him, except for the trainer, their assistant, and perhaps one or two friends. That’s mainly because I know these people well enough to understand how they will treat my horse, and we have a relationship of some kind, whether it’s business or family. They aren’t unknowns.

The only circumstance under which I’d let anyone other than the above ride him, would be if my trainer were involved. Say someone at the barn has a horse who is out of commission for a few weeks and wanted to stay in riding shape. If the trainer approached me and asked if they could use my horse for an occasional lesson for boarder X, then I might consider it. Other than that, the answer would be no.

[Bigbutt]

If it was me, unless I was financially compensated for it, and more then just my time hauling him out there - then nope…

But I also wouldn’t use insurance or liability for the reason… you owe this mother nothing… if your not interested, which is totally your prerogative - and I understand about the bonding time.

But my response would likely be

I am glad that your little suzy enjoyed riding flika when he was at XYZ Stables, but I am going to have to decline your request. I wish little suzy the best of luck on her new schooling mount, I’m sure they will find her a wonderful fur partner.

You don’t owe this lady any reason, and the more information given the more times the whining will just increase… well we will pay for insurance, well we will haul him out ourselves… etc…

Less is more. In fact it can be simply put… No Thank You.

[Bluey]

You could answer:

“No, he is not for lease.
Good luck to your daughter with her next horse.”

[hosspuller]

Okay … I’m going against the flow . I just had a bunch of 4H kids here. I let them ride my steady 20 year old TWH. Then for the better riders, a TWH with a bit more fire in the engine. Both got away with horse tricks they don’t ordinarily get away with. There’s no lasting harm to their training. There were a bunch of happy riders that left this afternoon.

I have a karmic debt. There were many people that helped and encouraged me with their horse, before I owned horses.

I would rather trailer my horse than let someone else do it.

I would consider the request and my time required. Then a “due diligence” on the people involved and circumstances of the show. Perhaps observe the kid in a lesson. A yea or nay would follow.

[Beverley]

Hosspuller, hosting 4H or similar, I used to do Boy Scout sessions, is great and completely different. This was one Mom making a request solely for her daughter’s entitlement. If she didn’t want to buy the horse for darling daughter, then she should be pointing out how learning and showing on a different horse will benefit daughter’s riding in the long run.

[twobits]

In your specific situation, I would most definitely say a polite “no, and good luck”.

As a child, my parents were very clear with me that I did not own a horse, and so those opportunities that owners get (such as riding the same horse, never having to switch off the horse, etc.) were not ones in which I was entitled. While there were days I was very frustrated with the fact that my parents could not give me everything I wanted, I began to understand very quickly that horses move on sometimes, and there is nothing I can do but hope he is moving to a home with another great human. It seems to me this mother needs to have a similar chat with her child.

I am not sure, however, if the mother was intentionally putting you in an awkward situation, or was thinking “oh, how cool would it be if I could get that pony for my child to horse show! She would be so excited!”. Non-horse people don’t always understand the logistics of horses, so I wonder if this is a mom promising her little girl she can have the pony for the horse show, or if it is a mom trying to do something nice for her child. Either way, my answer would not change - I would still say no.

[tinyrider]

I do not have any further update, as the trainer instructed me not to reply to the mother, and I want to respect her wishes. However, it has definitely been very interesting reading all the different opinions on this thread! The truth is, I’ve never really given too much thought as to whether or not it’s ok to allow others to ride my horse because it’s never really been an option. I’ve never owned a horse where I felt 100% confident that he would behave for another rider (except maybe a trainer). For my previous horse, if I was ever asked ‘Can I ride him?’, my standard response would be ‘Well I can let you get on, but I can’t guarantee he’ll let you stay on…’ That usually ended the conversation.

As for my pony, although I feel confident he can be trusted, there is still the selfish part of me that just doesn’t want to share him. So I think for now and the foreseeable future, nobody else will be getting on his back but me.

And as for the mother who contacted me… I know many feel she was completely out of line, but I was never offended or anything. A bit surprised maybe, but it’s not like she had to do any major sleuthing to track me down… the trainer posted a ‘Congratulations’ post on her facebook page and tagged me in the photo the day I bought him. I may be completely wrong, but at this time I am choosing to believe the mom truly felt she was doing nothing inappropriate.

And for those that felt the mother should have just bought the pony for her daughter when he was for sale… I can’t really comment on whether that was ever an option for them or not. There is the financial side of things (maybe they can’t afford a horse), but the other side is that this trainer is VERY particular about who she sells her horses to. After I bought my pony, she did confide in me how happy she was that an adult bought him, she did not want to sell him to a child that was going to outgrow him and sell him off in a few short years. So I guess it is possible that, even if Mom had wanted to buy the pony, Trainer may have refused to sell him to her.

[stolen_virtue]

I do let my trainer use my 7 year old OTTB for lessons with advanced riders. It is good for him to learn how to be riden by others and with horses you never know if the expense of them will allow you to keep them. I also support my trainer who works hard and help me when I need it.

It is totally up to you and I have been the mother looking for lease horses for my daughter and I would completely understand your not wanting him used by others. Congratulations on your pony, enjoy !

[quietann]

I do sometimes let my mare be used for low level dressage lessons. She’s good, she’s tolerant, and it’s not a terrible thing for her. Trainer usually rides her weekly.

My filly’s breeder put me on one of her greenies for a bit just so the horse could experience having someone who isn’t a great rider on her. I think this is a good experience for youngsters. That greenie (a 3 YO buckskin Morgan filly) was as steady as they come, though. I wanted to steal her!

I was blessed, when I got back into horses, to have someone who would let me ride theirs. Only paying it forward…

[AppendixQHLover]

No because my OTTB 90% of the time is really well behaved but it is that 10% that worries me. I can put someone on and lead them around after he is ridden. Mostly because he has shed some of the yahoo’s…

He was just ridden in a lesson yesterday by someone who wanted to ride a horse that does 2nd level movements proficiently and that is my horse. However, they were in a lesson and she only rides him in the lesson with my trainer. I have put far to much money into him for her to just ride whenever. She also have 3 of her own to ride…mine just is doing the movements she wants to do.

[Bluey]

Those that are letting others ride their horses, did you do that with a horse you just bought a month ago and moved to another barn and are getting to know?

I doubt it.

That is what the OP was talking about, not if we let 4H kids or another rider while we can’t ride or a trainer ride our horses.

Not only that, someone is asking to ride that horse just bought, someone that was supposedly riding it as a school mount, someone you don’t know anything about, may be the next GM or someone you don’t even want around your horse, much less riding it.

They also seem to be using “my little kid” to guilt the new owner into letting them have the horse to ride, without their trainer even aware of that.
The trainer may already have other goals and horses for that rider, is not like that is the only horse in the world.

I think this just seems a bit odd all around.

Yes, under specific circumstances, anyone may let others ride their horse.

Here?
Maybe not so fast.

[Appsolute]

[QUOTE=tinyrider;7884979]
there is still the selfish part of me that just doesn’t want to share him. So I think for now and the foreseeable future, nobody else will be getting on his back but me. [/QUOTE]

This is how I feel about my horse. And honestly, I don’t feel the need to apologize to anyone for it!

She is MY HORSE and I don’t want to share. People have asked me about part leases, “borrow” for a trail ride, use her for a lesson etc - and the answer is always sorry, I prefer to ride her myself.

Would you walk up to someone and ask to drive their Ferrari? I feel the same way about my horse.

[AmarachAcres]

I don’t think she should do it, but to offer a view point here…

I also think you guys are reading way to much into the mom asking. Maybe her daughter wanted one last ride on the pony. Maybe she ISN’T a spoiled brat and the mom was going to surprise her with that one last ride.

Sometimes it really DOESN’T hurt to just ask. The idea that the worst thing that can happen is the person says no does not mean the asker feels entitled. Entitled enters the picture when the asker is offended you said no, or starts by implying why you SHOULD or is demanding.

Just asking doesn’t mean the mom is crazy or entitled. Maybe she just loves her kid and feels like shit she couldn’t buy the pony.

Yes, the daughter will learn either way that life moves on. There is no lesson lost there. It isn’t the end of the world that the mom wanted to give her one last hurrah.

In the end, we are all guessing. But I wanted to give a more kind guess at the mother’s intentions.

OP: I do share my horses but with friends.

If I were that little girl, I would be SO thankful and happy you let me ride one more time. Also, if I was that little girl I would be totally understanding if you didn’t.

I hope they are grateful no matter your decision.

[QUOTE=ako;7881384]
Let’s flip things around a bit… You’re the kid’s mother. Would you really feel comfortable asking for this? I cannot imagine anybody in their right mind having such a sense of self-entitlement. She doesn’t know you. And you just bought the pony. I agree she’s a user. Probably best for the kid to learn a lesson from this.

And I do let people ride my horses. People who I know. People who are appreciative. People I trust. Nobody who doesn’t fit that bill.[/QUOTE]

[quietann]

[QUOTE=Bluey;7885583]
Those that are letting others ride their horses, did you do that with a horse you just bought a month ago and moved to another barn and are getting to know?

I doubt it.[/QUOTE]

Argh, Bluey, you are right as usual. OF COURSE I wouldn’t let the kid ride, in OP’s scenario. If trainer knew that there was a show coming up and kid wanted to ride the pony, the trainer should have raised the issue at sale time and seen if OP was at all willing to share for just that one time.

[pryme_thyme]

[QUOTE=LaurieB;7881094]
Absolutely not. And the mother had a great deal of nerve to even ask.[/QUOTE]

This 110%.
I cannot believe how bold some people are. If the mother was truly concerned about maintaining her daughter’s mount for the show, she would have worked something out with the seller or at point of sale if she could not have afforded to purchase the pony/horse.
Reality is, if you don’t own a horse you are not guaranteed the rights to show it so you make other options. That is part of becoming a real rider. I remember catch riding all the time when I was a kid. You ride what you have access to until you can afford/work for your own.

Other side of it is. Yes, I let select people ride my horse. I think it is an important part of my training. But my mare doesn’t mind.
Now, that being said, the people I do allow I know and I know how they ride. Most are very experienced.
I did once allow a teen to ride my mare but only because I knew her and I wanted to see what mare would do with a less experienced rider.

[DancingArabian]

No. Too much risk on many levels. The lady will probably constantly bother you to let her kid ride the pony. Don’t apologize for it - it’s your pony now. Just say that the pony is not available to be ridden.

[Cherry]

Everything aside–so many children nowadays don’t know the meaning of the word No!; don’t know how to cope with failing, or with loss, etc. At what age do you begin to teach them that things aren’t always going to go their way?

Yes, if it hadn’t been for other people allowing me to use their horses I would never have gotten near a horse, but I never initiated contact with the horse owner and asked. In one case someone’s uncle interceded with the horse owner on my behalf–the uncle was one of my 4-H leaders, and the horse had no one paying any attention to her (old broodmare). And that was almost fifty years ago before people started suing the pants off one another!

It’s one thing if you have the appropriate insurance and actually want to share your horse–if you don’t have adequate insurance and aren’t interested in sharing there is no shame in that. :no: