Does Social Media ever "get" to you?

[atl_hunter]

@right horse at the right time

Hmmmm.

I am surprised by some of these responses.

I’ve taken first in classes with and without other riders. I’ve come in last with a red ribbon. I love this horse to me means I love this horse, not that I did horribly or that I lost.

I don’t know. I think some of you are reading too much into this.

I was surprised, too. But I guess it depends on what motivates people and what makes their heart sing. My sister asked how my last show went, and I told her my horse was great and that I was really proud of him! It was his first dressage show and since he’s bred to jump (not dance!) I was thrilled with his scores and the judge’s remarks. What I love about dressage is all the feedback that you get so you can make improvements. I guess she, like many on here, decided that my answer meant we didn’t do well. Later I posted some pics to share with his breeders overseas and my sister called me to say, “I didn’t think you had a good show because you didn’t say you won anything, and then I saw your picture. Congratulations!” I was really sad about that. For me, what mattered the most was having a happy horse that had nice scores and great feedback, not the ribbon. To my sister, it’s all about the ribbons. If you didn’t win, you didn’t do well. That is just not how I measure my success.

I get it - it can be annoying to see posts from shows where people wax poetically about their win and then you find they were the only one in the class. My old trainer used to post about her horse “winning 2nd and 3rd” when there were 3 in a class, and yes people can look up a record. But when people say, “I had a great show, and I’m really proud of my horse!” why is that a bad thing? I think it says more about the observers than the posters.

[Jealoushe]

@Foxglove

I think the only time SM got to me was when as an amateur, I out scored the professional division (all of them) in a Mounted Archery match --as with many sports, riders are divided into groups --beginners, youth, adult amateur, and adult professional. Over the three days of shooting targets, points are awarded for the arrows hitting the targets, and subtracted if the horse goes too slowly at a run down the shooting lane. Due to an alignment of the stars or something, at the end of the match --I had hit the targets more than anyone else. So high score. However, another rider posted on SM that she had won that award --overall high point. My coach told me about it --he’s Facebook friends with her and I am not. I didn’t do anything about it --anyone who was at the meet knows who won it; and the only thing that mattered to me was that my score was accurately recorded at the national organization who keeps tabs of such things. I thought it was shabby, but not worth worrying about --still --five weeks later and I’m writing about it now . . .

Similar thing happened to me. The dressage scores were not calculated correctly and when I was on the way home I realized this (I always double check the scores) I had won the class by a significantly higher score. I messaged the show organizer and she replied right away that she would update the scores (I left the show to get home for an appointment and the other riders were still there). The 2nd place person was bragging on social media they won the class…which was awkward when I posted I won also with my actual true score.

There is another incident too where I won a Provincial Title due to the winner of the day testing positive for a banned substance and being eliminated after the fact. I received my cooler and everything afterwards. But that person still posts they were the winner that day, when in reality they were stripped of that title. So when I post about my horse winning this title, its a bit much to see this person also posting it days later.

I just laugh because inside myself and others know the truth. These people can delude themselves all they want, doesn’t make them the superstars they think they are inside. Its sad really, who lies about winning? All for the “likes”.

[punchy]

@atl_hunter

But when people say, “I had a great show, and I’m really proud of my horse!” why is that a bad thing? I think it says more about the observers than the posters.

I think the well documented issues regarding SM is this: you are inundated with photos etc. illustrating others’ successes and happiness. It’s not that an observer is jealous, or wishes ill to others. It’s simply that you are constantly reminded of how well others are doing and how happy they are (since people can make things look/sound better and don’t post about cruddy times). It doesn’t give you any perspective. And causes you to expect a higher standard for yourself, which is unattainable, and then you feel like a failure or you are unhappy with something you were previously happy with.

[SuzieQNutter]

@punchy

I think the well documented issues regarding SM is this: you are inundated with photos etc. illustrating others’ successes and happiness. It’s not that an observer is jealous, or wishes ill to others. It’s simply that you are constantly reminded of how well others are doing and how happy they are (since people can make things look/sound better and don’t post about cruddy times). It doesn’t give you any perspective. And causes you to expect a higher standard for yourself, which is unattainable, and then you feel like a failure or you are unhappy with something you were previously happy with.

Which comes down to the way our brains work.

It does not work if you think you will be happy when:- when you win, when you have this, when you have that, when you have done this or when you have done that.

Instead your brain does not feel happy it just changes what comes after when.

Which is also why you can never make a partner happy by buying them things.

Instead you have to be happy NOW. Happiness comes from within, not from outside.

[J-Lu]

@SuzieQNutter

Which comes down to the way our brains work.

It does not work if you think you will be happy when:- when you win, when you have this, when you have that, when you have done this or when you have done that.

Instead your brain does not feel happy it just changes what comes after when.

Which is also why you can never make a partner happy by buying them things.

Instead you have to be happy NOW. Happiness comes from within, not from outside.

This doesn’t make sense. Care to clarify?

[SuzieQNutter]

@J-Lu

This doesn’t make sense. Care to clarify?

If you think you will be happy to have a body brush, the mind changes when you receive the body brush and now you will be happy when you buy a hoof pick. When you buy the hoof pick your mind will change to wanting a bridle and so on and so forth.

You can change what you think you will be happy getting to a car, house, diamonds, whatever. It doesnt work the mind wants more.

Happiness comes from within. Be happy now no matter what you have.

I live in absolute Luxury. To me luxury is hot water, electricity, broadband and a house that does not leak when it rains.

I have lost count of the number of people, including my mother that have said move into a shed and build a new house.

Nope I have been here 17 years. The farm cottage has probably been here 150 years. It does not leak when it rains, it is insulated. It has electricity hot water and an inside toilet. I am happy with it.

I do not need an ensuite, walk in wardrobe, renovated kitchen, renovated bathroom, etc etc etc, etc, etc. I am happy now.

Same with my horses. I am happy with them without going out and getting ribbons around their neck and posting on social media.

Of course being happy means that you are also happy if you get a new car, horse, house, win ribbons as well.

[TMares]

Only when lazy sods whine about hardworking volunteers. That pisses me off. Someone crowing about winning a class of one with a 64%? Who could possibly care? It hurts no one that they are happy and pleased with their day.