Dog People -- Is This a Normal Dog-Human Relationship?

[Rackonteur]

I’m reading a novel in which a couple adopt an adult dog for companionship. Except they don’t make him a companion. They take him for walks, and feed him, but he spends the rest of his time sleeping in his bed in the mud room.

He is never in the rest of the house. He is never hanging out in the living room with his people. He is never turned out in the back yard for exercise/play even though it is fenced. He doesn’t sleep with his people.

I don’t know a lot of dog people, but the ones I do know sleep with their dogs. Either the dog sleeps in their bed, or has a bed in their bedroom. And he’s with them in most of the rest of the house when they are home.

Is this fictional relationship a normal real-life dog-human relationship?

[Nezzy]

i would hope it’s not reality, but i know sad stories exist. Sorry but my dogs are with me when i am home. they are allowed on the sofa, and on my bed if i take a nap. My dogs wANT to be with me, therefore, i allow it.

[Midwesterner]

Just the thought of that makes me so sad. There is NOTHING like the love and devotion of a dog. My dogs (cats and horse too) are family members, and get all the rights and privileges associated. Both of my 85# dogs sleep in bed with me, have full access to couches and furniture, spend as much time out in the fenced yard as possible, and take daily walks and/or runs with me. As I type this, I have a cat on my lap, 2 cats on the upper part of the couch behind me, one 85# dog laying on my feet, the other 85# dog laying on the couch beside me, and the other cat is laying on my son’s lap.

[S1969]

Unfortunately I know more than a few dogs that live like this, or in kennels, so yes, I think this happens more than you think.

But, unless they compete or show the dog, you have to wonder why bother? What is fun about this? In my case, many of these dogs compete and are hunted/trialed or shown/bred…so there is a theoretical purpose, and some other interaction with the owners. But if not…why have a dog?

[ElisLove]

I know someone that only allowed the dog in the entry way/mud room of their house. I sure wouldn’t make my dog live that way
My mom’s dog is allowed in the entire main floor of the house (where she spends most of her time), but he’s an old man (17 in january) and chooses to stay most of his time in what he deems to be ‘his room’ which is the mudroom. When I was young and living at home he would sleep in my bed.
One of my dogs is currently sleeping on my legs, the other is sleeping on he floor right by me, and the other is sleeping on the tile by my entry way, all of their own decision. Sometimes they are all laying on the couch with me. They are all allowed to sleep in the bed, though one often chooses the floor (the one that tends to lie on the cool hard surfaces in the house).

[cnigh]

I have known dogs with worse lives. Normally happens when people have too many pets.

Up until a few months ago, Both my dogs slept in the livingroom at night. They had dog beds, carpet and the couch.

When I had to care for each one for different medical conditions, I began letting one sleep with me. My SO slept in the livingroom with our other dog. Just so she wasn’t alone. We switched them each night because both dogs were attached to me.

Now that Dyna is gone, Amber has been sleeping with me every night. She loves going to bed so much, she will try to put me to bed early, lol.

[saje]

I know of one dog who’s not allowed in the whole house, just the mudroom/kitchen/nook area.

BUT - this dog is owned by horse-y, outdoorsy people and he is with them always when they are outside doing things.

[chestnutmarebeware]

Absolutely no dogs allowed on the bed, but they’re with me everyplace else.

[Mango20]

I think that’s a pretty rare human/dog relationship, but it certainly sometimes happens that way. My neighbor’s first two dogs lived in a kennel or on a chain 24/7, right next to my driveway so I saw them every day. They had food, water and shelter - all the county requires. When the first dog died, I was kind of relieved for it. Then they got a replacement dog. Over the years, they changed their ways and now have 3 dogs that live in the house. I’m not sure why that changed.

My other neighbor has a great, close relationship with her dog, but the dog was trained to never go upstairs, so did not sleep with the people. I think this was probably her ex-husband’s idea, but who knows.

[RPM]

When my sister got married, her husband and his kids had a dog. Dog lived outside, unneutered, was let out to roam the neighborhood at night. When he died, or left, and they moved, my sister got two more dogs. Husband said no dogs in the house.

Dogs lived in the house.

Husband said no dogs in the bed.

Dogs slept in the bed.

Husband said no dogs in the kitchen at mealtimes.

Guess what?

When those two died of age-related issues, my sister got another dog.

Husband went through the same set of rules for the dog.

The dog was not required to obey any of them.

Last time I was at their house husband was going out for an after-dinner walk with the dog. His choice.

[SCM1959]

We have a one year old poodle and he is with us all day but he does sleep on his thick bed (too thick saddle pad!) in the laundry room. He knows when it is time to “go to bed”. I would have him in bed with me now that he is a big boy and doesn’t make mistakes anymore, but he does seem to know his routine.

His favorite thing to do is to go with me to run errands. He sees me get the leash and he just about does flips. And his other real favorite thing to do is to “help” my husband and six year old son work on our property and romp in the woods and the stream and the pond … our dog gets a lot of baths.

SCM1959

[keysfins]

I don’t have a dog, I have a SHADOW.

All my Rotties have almost always been in the same room where I am, next to me and close enough to put a chin on my foot, or stay between where I am and where DH is if we are in different rooms.

All dogs have multiple beds around the house, and at least one next to the bed. They are not ON the bed for humans***. They have their own beds. Only a few rare times have any been allowed up on a hotel bed when traveling.

I agree with others who say what fun is having a dog if you don’t share your life with said dog?

***except the current one, who was invited ON the bed, ONCE, and had such a good time being happy and romping on the bed, that she now spends a good part of the day on MY side of the bed while I am at the barn. Watching out the window for my return. Then she moves to HER bed. I must be getting softer each year.

[furlong47]

I can’t tell from your post - are they MAKING the dog live in the mudroom, like closing him in there so he can’t get out? Or is he choosing to be in there on his bed?

My family has had two dogs, both male labs, who were very different in their relationships with us. The first, Max, we got as a puppy, and although he would tolerate playing or petting for a while he always liked his space. Once he had his fill he would get a little growly and then everyone left him alone. There was a chair in the living room that he took over as his own, and most of the time he could be found there. At night he slept there, not with any of the people in their bedrooms, by his own choice. He lived to be 14 years old and while he was a loved family pet, he was this independent sort of way his whole life.

Sam, on the other hand, we got from the shelter at 9 months old. He was part of a litter of puppies that had been kept outside and not properly cared for, so were taken in by the SPCA. He was a velcro dog and always had to be right with someone or at the very least in whatever room the people were in. If you were alone and say went in the bathroom and closed the door, he would wait right in the hall outside. He slept on his own dog bed on the floor in my parents’ bedroom. Sam just passed this fall at age 13.

So, given a choice, I can see a Max-like dog choosing to stay by himself most of the time. A Sam-like dog, on the other hand, would probably be sad, anxious, etc if not with his people.

[vacation1]

In the US, normal is a dog lives inside, and while his freedom may be limited to specific areas by doors, xpens or crates, he does get regular access to the whole house as well as the yard. There are certainly people who treat their dogs differently and not all are cruel or abusive, but the norm is a dog gets mostly free access to the entire house.

[wireweiners]

I have one that currently is living in the utility room in a crate 24/7 but that is because he injured his back on was paralyzed. He has to be on strict crate rest for 8 weeks. Normally he lives outside as a farm dog. He can’t be in the main part of the house as he does not get along with my other male dog. Buster is recovering nicely and has regained the ability to walk. He comes off crate rest the end of January. He will be transitioned to a dog run with walks to rebuild his muscle tone.

The three dogs I inherited from my parents are crated in the dog room at night and when I’m gone as they are not housebroken.

[MustangSavvy]

That is definitely not the norm or at least I hope not. That sounds very sad to me. My dogs all sleep in bed with me and they go everywhere with me. They are my security blankets, doggy co-pilots, adventure buddies and so so much more.

[Rackonteur]

Originally posted by furlong47:

I can’t tell from your post - are they MAKING the dog live in the mudroom, like closing him in there so he can’t get out? Or is he choosing to be in there on his bed?

I don’t know either. I can’t tell from the story. When they come in from a walk with the dog he goes straight to his bed in the mud room and stays there until someone comes to let him out into the yard long enough to pee/poop, and then he comes right back in to his bed.

I figure the author isn’t a dog person and just put the dog in to help move the plot, as often when one of the humans is walking him they meet someone who becomes important to the plot, or they have a conversation that moves the story along. It’s not a dog story, per se, so i guess the dog was put in to serve as a plot device. He is a sweet dog and everyone seems to “love” him – which is weird, because no one seems to want him with them, unless they’re going for a walk. So they “like” him but they don’t really love him, because they don’t interact with him unless they’re feeding him or walking him.

[RJC]

I could see the dog choosing to sleep in his bed if he’s that type of dog. Ours is always welcome in our bed, but usually chooses to sleep downstairs on the couch. She’d rather be left at home than ride in a car. She only follows us around when there’s food involved or if she wants to play or go out. Some dogs are just independent, but I would find it sad if he were locked in the mud room and not given the choice to interact with his family.

[rockonxox]

My old college room mate had a dog (at her parents house that she grew up with) that they kept in the heated garage. They played with the dog outside (sometimes) and included it in family pictures, but it was not allowed in the house. I thought it was just the weirdest thing. What is the point of owning a dog if you don’t really interact with them and, what it seemed like to me at least, didn’t really want it?

[rockonxox]

And, adding this part, my mom does not allow her dogs to sleep in the bed with her. When I lived at home my dogs always slept in my room and with me (which she hated… but I was a rebellious child who loved my dogs). When I go to visit for holidays my big dogs sleep in the bed with me and the complaints of dog hair everywhere goes on for about a month.

Her current dogs are small ones and her bed sits really high so they can’t jump up on it themselves. She used to make them sleep in the laundry room (which has a baby gate on it), but over the past few years has let them sleep in her room. The dogs are allowed everywhere else during the day and when I’ve gone over to visit they are almost always sleeping on the top of the couch. To each their own I suppose!