Don't want to ride, don't want to quit

[RhythmNCruise]

Honestly, my horse was fine because the most I would ride him was maybe 3 days a week (4 or 5 days a week every once in a while), and frequently he’d get ridden maybe 1 or 2 times a week and even NO times a week here and there depending on weather and life, etc. So, getting “turned out” (he was always out anyway) was no big deal to him.

I’m sure some horses might not take to the lack of structured work. Mine definitely has the brain for it. After years of not so much as putting a saddle on him, when I started back he just stood there like it’d been happening every day. But…he stood there like that when I very first broke him as well, so that’s just his nature. He’s never been an unrideable nut job.

You’ll just have to see how your guy is. Even if he’s not quite like my guy, it might be as simple as working him in a round pen or on the lunge for a few minutes to blow the cobwebs off of him and see if he has any silliness in there. If he’s a good-minded fella, I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

[wsmoak]

First, if you decide to sell him now, there will be other horses available if you decide to buy again.

If you have a deep personal connection to this horse and don’t want to sell, but don’t want him to have a lot of time off, put the word out through some trainers you trust and see if any of their clients are looking for a lease. Pay the $500 or so for a lawyer to write up a lease agreement that you are comfortable with. That may mean no one but the lessor and the trainer are allowed to ride the horse, unless agreed to in writing beforehand. Keep as much control as you want to. Require that they take one lesson a week with the trainer, require written updates and pictures, whatever you want.

A six year old might be too young for the intermittent riding, depending on the horse you might not really be able to show up once a week and expect them to be a solid citizen, they just don’t have that much life experience yet. I am of the firm opinion that horses do not get all their brain cells issued until about nine years old.

But if you just want out from under the expense and the worry, that is totally fine. That is where I am. I have a 30-year-old here (who I really never expected to live this long!) and after that I’m probably done with owning until I retire from working full time. I might half-lease if I can find a like minded person locally who wants to share their horse. But I can’t do the horses at home anymore, it is too much work and worry about finding hay, about vet care, everything.

[DarkHorse1]

@wsmoak

A six year old might be too young for the intermittent riding, depending on the horse you might not really be able to show up once a week and expect them to be a solid citizen, they just don’t have that much life experience yet. I am of the firm opinion that horses do not get all their brain cells issued until about nine years old.

Yes, this is my worry. He’s a good boy, but he definitely does best in a program. When we give him more than a day or two off, he’s either wild or pissy about working. I do not think he’s the sort of horse you can ride once in a while…at least not yet.

[Texarkana]

@DarkHorse1

@wsmoak

A six year old might be too young for the intermittent riding, depending on the horse you might not really be able to show up once a week and expect them to be a solid citizen, they just don’t have that much life experience yet. I am of the firm opinion that horses do not get all their brain cells issued until about nine years old.

Yes, this is my worry. He’s a good boy, but he definitely does best in a program. When we give him more than a day or two off, he’s either wild or pissy about working. I do not think he’s the sort of horse you can ride once in a while…at least not yet.

I can only speak for myself, but I agree I wouldn’t expect a 6 year old to be totally sane with intermittent riding. But, when I say “kick him out in the field and he’ll be fine when you’re ready to ride again,” what I mean is it won’t take much to get him back in a routine again when you’re ready. Yeah, the first few rides might be green, and he might even need a pro tune up session, but he certainly won’t forget everything. Once he is fit and reminded of his job, he will be right back where you are now, probably better mentally as his brain matures.

[EventingMaff]

I was kind-of-sort-of in the same situation earlier this year. I have a lovely 7 year old mare, but she’s pretty green for her age and while she’s a doll, she can be quite an opinionated mare when she wants. She needs a competent ride with soft hands, a balanced seat, and enough confidence to take some sass. Nobody at my barn was close to being a good match for her.

I didn’t advertise her, but I joined some horsey FB groups where people post "ISO"s for leases. If someone posted an ISO that sounded like a reasonable match, I’d inquire. Horse is now with a young working student getting show mileage at the lower levels, I get to visit when I want (semi-local), and I insisted on an “care lease” (no lease fee, but she covers all costs) so that I could be much more controlling with the contract terms.

So far, it’s working out well. It gives me the breather from the responsibility (cost / time / energy) BUT I still get to revel in her accomplishments and cheer her on at shows. The first 1-2 months of her being gone was HARD but honestly it’s kind of nice now to not be stressing about fitting in a barn trip or feeling guilt when I don’t ride.

Maybe keep an eye out for ISO’s at the very least – doesn’t lock you into anything but may open up a wonderful opportunity for all.

[Piaffe11]

@Bebe_Falcon1

Could you consider learning a new discipline?

FWIW, I nearly sold my mare two years ago during the pandemic. The barn we were at felt cliquey, and I didn’t really know what to do with her there anymore. That barn closed, and I moved somewhere much more laidback (which helped). We dove into the world of carriage driving - even shipping out for lessons and attending shows - and I feel like I have a purpose again at the barn.

I think if you’re going to keep him, you’re going to need to change something up

I second this - what about just mixing it up? Is there barns in your area that have good facilities and care, but aren’t in your chosen discipline? Does the idea of trying fox hunting or even just doing trails make you feel more interested?

As a dressage rider, I boarded at a reining/cutting place for 2 years and had a blast. The facilities weren’t really comparable to my coach’s place, but the people and activities made up for it. Keep an open mind!

[DarkHorse1]

Yes, that does appeal to me…but I don’t know if it works for this particular horse. He’s a little bit, well, high strung. I don’t know how he’s going to fare without being in consistent professional work.

[Piaffe11]

That is harder, but you never know.

My horse got exposed to a tonne of things, which actually made her less high strung. She’s totally kid, dog, and buffalo proof now (cows inside are fine, but cows outside are still a worry for her).

[candyappy]

@DarkHorse1

Fair questions. I guess I just lost the passion years ago. Year after year, I keep forcing myself to trudge on. I bought a young horse, thinking a project would make it fun again. When I’m at the barn I have an okay time, but I never really get excited to go.

I think one problem is the culture of my barn. It’s mostly teens and kids. Even the trainer is in her early 20’s. Nobody “hangs out” and has fun. They just show up, ride, and leave. Nobody even wants to go on a trail ride. Lots of showing, which I’m not into. Unfortunately I’m not super comfortable with the care , distance, or training of the alternative barns. I feel stuck.

Sounds like you need a barn with like minded boarders. Maybe if you look again you can find a barn that meets your new needs that you might have missed?

Maybe a private barn?

[Jackie_amp_Starlette]

I just went through this - I think a combo of health (overweight), mild depression (and then the pandemic hit), not enough time, and needing a break. Luckily, I have my horses at home so still was with them even though I was not riding. My granddaughter is horse crazy like me and went to horse camp for a week, then came over to my house to ride. Funny how hanging with her somehow sparked my desire to ride again. Now I have a trail riding partner! Pics of us practicing trail riding in my pastures (she will be switching to my extra dressage saddle so I can adjust the stirrups. This was just an extra western saddle I used to see how things would go.)