One of the hardest posts I’ve ever had to write -
Duncan passed away 6/7/24.
I thought when I last posted that he was getting better. He snarfed down a can of food on Wed night and was looking and acting quite chipper. Thursday he seemed a little droopy and wasn’t terribly interested in his breakfast. I took Pearl to her vet appt and came back and wound up force feeding Duncan because he would not eat. Still seemed ok but just nope, not gonna. He threw up later, then when I put him the bed with me he seemed to faint. Rushed him to vet, who said his glucose was 503 and told me to take him to ER. off I went, first went to my usual ER where I encountered a vet that was so rude, so miserable - it was unbelievable. I took him to another ER where they had him back in a room immediately. LSS, he was in DKA was a blood sugar of 528. Hospitalization started at $6k and went way way up from there. They sent us home with some cerenia and mirtazapine on board. I got home at 630p. in the middle of the night he collapsed and could not walk. He looked so upset and confused. I knew it was over. Rushed him back to vet and had him PTS.
Staff there was very kind. They stuffed his face with treats and baby food which he gobbled up (now the mirtazapine kicks in!) He had been wrapped in the most beautiful blue microplush blanket and I held him while he passed away.
My heart is breaking. I just can’t believe it. He was just so much of my life. I had my whole life built around him. I just feel so lost. His personality took up the whole space. I had him all his life and now what? It’s hard to remember a day when he wasn’t there, wasn’t up to something - whether bad or good. He was the smartest, naughtiest, busiest, craziest, most handsome cat ever. I never saw another cat with coloration like his - almost a metallic biscuit-y copper-y color. And with the greeny gold eyes he was so striking and his fur was the softest I ever petted. He was Trouble with a capital T. He cost me a fortune. But when he was good he was very good. Best purrs. The best cat to sleep with - snugged in behind my knees he did not care how much I tossed and turned during the night. He had no time for Baler and his antics; perhaps, seeing himself reflected in him. What am I going to do without having him constantly trying to either steal my food off the plate or actually eat it off my plate and on one very messy occasion flipping the plate into the air (and incidentally, food EVERYwhere) because I wouldn’t let him eat with me. He was a fiend for bacon. I learned never ever to leave my bacon unattended even for a moment. He would eat it all in a hot second. Once he snarfed down 6 pieces I had left on the stove top to cool. He did not care that it was fresh out of the oven and burning hot.
I feel I have let him down in some way. My inner ogre keep whispering that I could have done better, could have, should have done more. My brain says that does not make any sense, but still…Still feel like somehow I should have known.
Right now I am so furious with that other vet. I had her before with Pearl and she did right by her, so I was glad to see her this time but that changed very quickly. She seemed upset that she even had a patient. She wanted to get a history from me but when she found out what vet I had been seeing became very irate and began saying derogatory things about them and after that I could not say anything that pleased her (when I could get a word in edgewise) and she ultimately refused him and even left that to the receptionist. I will be reporting her to their CEO and/or office manager.
I went to the nearest vet office Of course, they turned out to be the most costly one. BUT they treated him with love and compassion and had him being seen within minutes. The attending was not happy with the other ER doc, either. The entire outing was a little under $1600.
I’m so god damn depressed and sad. I miss him so much. Feel absolutely directionless. I keep remembering to give him his meds but he’s not there. Remembering to give him his snack. Wait, no cat. It’s the little things that are killing me. Still haven’t really cried. Just feel so numb.
