This sounds as if it is happening as it should! If your helmet is buried under 1 or more divorces, time for a new one. That is a minor expense!
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Sheilah, sell a couple of pieces of tack or a blanket or two and get a new helmet. That, to me, is non-negotiable.
The way I see it, those of us who have sacrificed for years to love and ride a horse, we are horsewomen. When we lose that horse, a big part of our lives is gone. We lose the equine relationship, the mental and physical exercise, the recharging of our brains and souls, we lose a huge part of ourselves, because that is who we are. Thatās what made us the women our families and husbands love, the capable people we are in our professions. Itās part of the whole.
When my DH gets in a mood about equine expenses, I point out that I donāt go to the spa, spend very little on clothes, get my hair cut only quarterly, donāt have a gym membership, or see a shrink. The barn provides me with like minded friends, keeps me active and fit. All in all, he agrees that having a horse is better for me and for us. And Iām 70. You have time!
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Thank you @frugalannie. That is what I have been trying to articulate for months. And I can get a helmet at the tack store no problem if I can;t find mine.
Sheilah
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You go girl!
If the finances are a problem, you might be able to half lease your lovely new horse during the school year when you have less time. Just sayinā.
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Whoo boy! Iāve been there with the bad fall, injuries, and family/friends questioning my sanity for wanting to ride again. That was 11 years ago-- and Iāve fallen since and been hospitalized for it, but I just heal and get back on. You are ready to get back out there in your happy place and get mentally healthy (and physically fit) in the barn. Buy the horse!!
I would also recommend getting a safety vest-- a standard one. Go try them on, make sure it fits. I love my Airowear Outlyne. Iāve come off in it and hopped up and went on riding when I know without it I would have been so bruised and broken I couldnāt. They are hot and not super comfy but so, so worth it! A MIPs helmet and a vest (air or standard) will go so far in making you safer, more confident, and might appease your DH.
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We are getting $150/mo to board an African Pygmy Goat that a person got but was required to remove from their residence by the city. The woman comes often to see her goat,
Regarding minies, we found that three will equal one real horse in care (feed/hay/bedding) but each can cause three times or greater the problems as those little things well saying they have āspecial needsā is an understatement We had to add an aircraft cable to the fence line at their butt rubbing height to keep them from pushing the fences out as they rub their body along the fences
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So sorry for your loss. {{Hugs}}
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Sorry, it took me 2 minutes trying to figure out why the price of bay horses had anything to do with the conversation. Hey, itās late and Iām tired. Sticking to that story. 
ETA: @IdahoRider Be happy. Buy the horse!
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Wiser words were never written. Thanks! 
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Being a teacher, could you buy the horse and then take on some sort of extra employment in the summer to help ease the bills a bit and make your husband happier? I know lots of teachers who work at camps/day camps/tutoring/other kid programs that run in the summer, or you could try a gig job like grocery delivery. Even regular summer jobs that teens normally do (things like working at an ice cream store, pool, fast food, or retail) are hurting for help right now and paying way more than ever before.
Or, as someone suggested above, half lease the horse out if heās appropriate. Or maybe your trainer could use him for lessons and take money off of your board?
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Yup, if the horse is what you think he is, buy the horse. We all fall off every now and again, and sometimes we get hurt. But with luck, we heal, and get back onto a horse (maybe NOT the horse who did the deed, if there was an issue that canāt be solved). Buy a new helmet AND a protective vest, and wear both of them. THAT should suffice to calm those who worry about you. Wearing those items wonāt guarantee that you wonāt be hurt again, but might help avoid some of the damage.
As for the cost, itās still cheaper than being unhappy and needing psychological therapy .and a gym membership with a personal trainer.
Good luck! I hope itās the right horse for you.
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I am crippled with MS.
I still ride, other peopleās horses because I do not have the necessary energy or finances to take care of a horse properly.
My response to the safety issues, well my saddle has 5 different safety add ons.
The one thing that seems to help my security in the saddle the most are my RiderGrips. Because of them I no longer slide in the saddle much. I use one on each flap. I do have one to put on the saddle seat but my riding teacher was vehement when she told me NOT to put the seat one on because she really likes how I use my seat to relax the horse and encourage the horse to move on out.
My other saddle safety gear are the RStor riding aid, a grab strap, the Tech Venice slope safety stirrups, and the stability leathers.
I also always ride in silicon full seat tights/breeches. These really help my security and they help me keep the horses happy with my riding them.
When it is cool enough I wear a Tipperary Eventer Pro 3013 ASTM certified protective vest. Unfortunately this vest is way to hot for me to use when it gets hot.
I always, always, always wear my MIPS helmet (mine came from Back on TrackāTrauma Void EQ30.)
I also now ride with a double bridle. The ladies I ride with are all for this now though they had initial doubts (neither had ever ridden in a double bridle.) The ladies who own the horses I ride (my riding teacher and another lady who lets me ride) have been super impressed about how their horses relax more with the titanium double bridle bits in their mouths and about how much more responsive the horses are to the bit. I now consider my double bridles to be part of my safety equipment though this might not be to the taste of a lot of riders or a lot of riding teachers.
Because I have been pro-active about this and spent my money on this safety gear my husband, riding teacher, doctor and neurologist do not worry as much about me riding a horse. I canāt gallop and jump any more and that probably helps their comfort level too.
People who care about me are still worried, but they are pretty well satisfied with my safety ad-ons.
The Universe has made a good horse available to you. Buy the horse and enjoy your safety conscious riding.
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Buy the horse.
Iād also second buying a safety vest. Cracked ribs are no fun, as you know, and a vet protects those well. It will be good to wear for at least the first few months of your new horse ownership as you get to know each other. And by then you may be used to wearing it that you wonāt even think about it anymore.
Iāve worn a vest for 6 years every time I ride because I came off 6 years ago and bruised my ribs. I didnāt want to do that again.
But most of all, have fun with the new horse!
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Iām going to throw something out there:
Standardbred adoption.
Seriously.
For less than $1,000 you can adopt a saintly babysitter of a horse through any number of organizations.
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Get a horse, buy a new helmet.
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HAY prices. However, as a bay aficionado? They should be more expensive because they are just better looking in general.
Sheilah
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A truly safe horse is priceless. If you have a safe enough horse and dont jump 
your risk level goes way down. On the other hand a bit of a buck or bolt or spook is a medical emergency waiting to happen at our agem
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I have a grab strap and stability leathers already. I have super wide stirrups that have also been helpful. I had a spinal cord injury and canāt feel my legs. I can use them, they just arenāt strong and I have a hard time knowing where they are.
Because of that I need a horse that is very tolerant, especially with mounting. The WB mare I sold last year was wonderful in every respect except mounting. She would not hold still. So I ended up always needing someone to hold her and that really impacted my riding because I could only ride if there was someone to hold her head.
Sheilah
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Iām slightly prejudiced since Iāve only ever owned bays, so I totally agree. (Although, I did almost buy a chestnut once, but she didnāt pass the vetting). 
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