Envy/FOMO/all the things

[ClassyJumper]

Please share your experiences and how you cope! After a spectacularly bad outing last spring I decided that showing in the spring is just not for us. With no indoor, erratic weather, and spring heats that make everything SO SCARY, I know it is the best choice for us but I am still having a hard time watching the spring shows come and go.

I don’t really envy “stuff”, fancy tack and the etc. but I definitely envy the community that those in a program have. I have had a couple very nice trainers take me under their wing for a day or two, but I know I don’t have the time or money to keep up on a regular basis.

I could keep going, but tell me I am not alone!

[LovieBird]

I know what you mean. I haven’t shown my horse in 2 years due to hoof and saddle fit issues off and on. I don’t show in the summer because it’s too hot and not fun for either of us. I’m not sure if we’ll show again, but if he’s fit and feeling good, we’ll try. If not, I’ll enjoy my horse.

I did alot of volunteering. It was fun to stay involved, cheer on my friends and catch up with old friends. However, it did start to wear on me. Cross country jump judging made me feel depressed because I wanted to do that too! I felt guilty about feeling this way, because I am so lucky to have an otherwise healthy horse that I can enjoy.

I’m not sure what the solution is, but you aren’t alone.

[Texarkana]

The struggle is real sometimes.

I completely get what you’re saying about the community, but…

Other horse people often do a good job at quelling my FOMO. With a community often comes a lot of baggage. I feel like it’s Haley’s Comet coming around when I’ve been part of a completely enjoyable one. Sorry for the cynicism, but it’s true. There are a lot of horse show personalities that I just can’t deal with anymore.

I usually try to volunteer a few times a year, which sometimes makes the FOMO worse and other times makes me glad I’m not out there.

[Scribbler]

There are lots of different communities in horses. Sometimes I think people love showing because it’s the only time they get off the property and hang out with other riders and spend all day around horses. But you can get that at a clinic or going on a trail ride plus picnic or horse camping.

[DawgLady]

Scribbler, I agree. When I ask people what they love about showing, the answer is very often “hanging out with my barn buds.” That befuddles me a little because, well, you could hang out together without spending a zillion dollars and putting up with horse show BS.

[exvet]

You’re not alone. I’m back to showing but that’s only after I had a 2, almost 3-year hiatus. It was due to a number of things including finances, divorce, father’s death, mother’s strokes, not having a horse that I could show (baby too young, retired FEI mount) so I spent a ton of time trail riding, watching videos, researching blood lines and pedigrees, auditing occasional clinics, and such. What got me through, in all honesty, was knowing that I’d been in that spot before - vet school, when each of my kids were born, etc and each time I eventually found my way back and each time was better. I’ve used each hiatus to get myself stronger and more fit, hone my eye for prospects and educate myself regarding competition expectations and goals. I am and always have been rather independent including with my equine pursuits. Showing for me is more about goals and the competition instead of community; so, if you really want to show, you can eventually find a way back. It is just likely going to look different than what it does now and don’t hem yourself in by any specific time-frame…that just leads to more frustration. If community is what you want, then there are multiple ways to still get that without actively showing (especially by volunteering for your local equine groups, help putting on shows, clinics, trail riding with others (you can see lots of great country that way too) and/or compete in other venues like competitive trail or obstacle courses that are less expensive and may help build confidence and rapport with your horse that can be more easily prepared for than as one would usually do for a show, etc).

[NancyM]

Maybe it’s something that you get over with age. As a pup, I didn’t miss a horse show (unless I had a lame horse or other unavoidable issue). Only fairly local in my area, but some fairly nice shows. Jumpers mostly. Local “Open Jumper” divisions. Then, I made a change, and went to work at the racetrack instead. My main jumper mount died, and the other two I had developed were nice horses, and I sold them. And got my race trainer’s license. And rarely went to a schooling show for several decades, usually with a horse I was developing and trying to eventually sell. Then, after 25 years, I grew tired of the racing, and quit. And moved to a semi remote location, with the horses I had accumulated. A retired homebred racehorse turned show horse. And a few homebred TBs that ended up not racing due to the move. I have played around at some smaller shows, hunters and jumpers, and had some fun. And plan to continue to do so. But rarely attend the A circuit shows these days. The once I did attend an A circuit show which was one that I USED to attend regularly, there were only few people there that I knew, and being “alone” (no “coach”, no “barn friends”), it’s a good thing that I enjoy my own company, and the company of my horses. I can’t say that I won’t attend such a show again, I might. But I have little FOMO… because it wasn’t as good as it used to be, I guess. The horse I have now wants to be a hunter, not a jumper (IMO), which puts me at a disadvantage, as I am not a “conformist” in terms of style and political affiliation. But I don’t really care about that, and might turn up at some point anyway, and shock some people. I haven’t braided a mane in many years. Yikes.

[Djones]

You have to find your niche and maybe that means you create your own. I like scribing dressage tests and don’t mind working a show (schooling only, I’m not up for learning all the recognized mess) so I’ve evolved into ‘showing’ that way. My horse certainly doesn’t mind! We trail ride and I school the stuff that I know makes for a jam up all-around horse, and it’s 99% of the time just DH and me riding. The weird thing about many people who ‘just trail ride’ (their words) is a reverse? snobbery against ‘show horse’ and all that it entails. When I did show a good bit, I did NOT ride around bragging about my show horses, or even show up all matchy matchy, LOL. but when it came up in conversation about dressage and such, then it was like ‘game on’ - pick at the fancy horse, make fun of riding in circles- just stupid, juvenile, petty ****. Eff that. I don’t need to put up with it, so I’m very selective about who I ride with. I do NOT care if your Dobbin has never had his name on an entry blank. Do>NOT>care. I care about if you’re fun to talk to and your horse won’t kick mine on a trail. That’s it.

[luvmyhackney]

I don’t show mainly due to life and I can’t justify the cost/time at the moment. I loved showing as a kid.

Goal is since kids are more self sufficient now to go to a schooling show or a clinic this fall. At the least get off the property.

That’s enough for now, but I’m putting all my pieces in place to be ready for show season next year.