I agree with this post–I think Mach is the hardest month with horses. Don’t make any decisions till June 1 when it’s beautiful, horses are shiny, grass is green! March can be a little defeating.
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On the practical side, what are your skills and interests for your new career?. It sounds like you have some other source of support, which is a great thing! Real estate also is a LOT about client interaction, so think about that if you are burned out on that aspect of the horse business. Perhaps you can taper back your horse commitments and take some time to think both long term and your next steps.
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I walked away from the profession. You lasted a lot longer than me; I was done in my early 20s. A few times I have gotten a wild hair to go back… and every time I dip my toe back into the professional horse world, I find myself going, “nope.”
People say, “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” That wasn’t good advice for me. When I do what I love for work, it becomes, well, work. Then I don’t love it anymore. I’m better off doing something I like well enough but doesn’t define me. My mental health is a lot better when my work life and personal life can be separated entirely if need be.
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Totally agree with @Texarkana…I was doing what I loved (riding/training) and it became work and burnt me out. The horses didn’t burn me out as much as client management really burnt me out. And that made me not love what I was doing. When I avoiding going to the barn to feed because a certain client was there and I would wait until they left, I realized something had to change.
I went back to find a career that was flexible and would let me still ride/train, but on my terms and so I became a physical therapist. Then I started to get burnt out in that role because the hours and trying to ride at night. A different opportunity opened up and I went into academia…teaching at a university. Now I am super burnt out! LOL Just kidding…academia can be rough…BUT I have a lot of flexibility that lets me do so much with the horses. Of course, I’ve also had some crappy horse luck these past few years, but that’s a different issue!
I have no regrets…I am in a much better place financially and can still devote time to my horses, so it’s a win for me. There were some years were the transition was a bit tough and horses did take a back burner role…but that’s okay too. I also think that I get bored in a position, even ones I love…the benefit for me in academia, is instead of swapping jobs, I can switch up the courses I teach, how I teach them, etc. I can focus more on teaching or I can do more service and switch it up. So the job naturally keeps me more engaged…and even being burnt out and tired, I still don’t think about leaving or changing jobs.
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really not that much different, I was in commissioned sales for about a decade pretty much round pen training of young horses. Lots of paying close attention to small details. (This was before being transferred to the manufacturing division, which again was seeing the overlooked small things and correcting)
One client who the company wanted and would never ever talk to any of the company’s reps I broke the ground by just ignoring him after seeing he Really Loved his dog… so I sent everything to him in his dog’s name…and all stuff that one would expect from a company I set his dog but Dog focused (really made some interesting conversations getting expense reports cleared) …but I did land the account. My CEO wanted o know just how I accomplished it as they had been trying for a very long time.
Even my daughters who were teachers said teaching was very similar to training a horse (but both thought most horses were easier to train)
So 12 years training horses is not a waste of time, just view it as an extended educational process.
Oh the reason I was moved from commissioned sales my company was acquired and the new company had a paid sales force… my old company’s commissioned sales people were earning about three times the new company’s pay. We were making low six figures when six figure income really was something.
It wasn’t good for me either. I started off undergrad as a double major in with an Equestrian Teacher/Trainer degree and biology and ended up graduating with a BS in Environmental Science which has served me incredibly well. I knew at that time, I would get burnt out if horses were my career and that it wasn’t going to be very lucrative, so I went the corporate route. While that has grown to fund my horse interest, Im 180 degrees from you and keep going back to finding something in the horse world to do on the side/into retirement that could provide a little additional income. I am still a good 20 years away from retirement so I have some time LOL.
I think the “follow your dreams” thing is ok if you can look beyond that dream a bit AND be open to feedback/things to be cautious of etc. My Ex husband did that with music/performing/recording/lessons. He was probably somewhere in the average/above average range for his talent, but ended up not having any inclination on how to handle the planning, executing, and money side of things. What he brought in would barely cover groceries but it was “what he was good at”. Didn’t want to do any work that wasn’t of personal interest to him, didn’t want to teach K-12 music/band/choir which would have been a better income route, didn’t want to teach kids that lacked passion, and because he never got to rockstar level, he got to the point that we couldn’t even go out and enjoy live music because it depressed him. Not to say this is what happens to everyone on this route, but anytime I hear the follow your dream sentiment, that’s where my mind goes.
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Teaching (especially at the lower levels or to students who aren’t intrinsically motivated or talented) is IMHO a very different skill set to doing. Yet for many talents–riding, writing, music–because it’s so hard to make a living even if you are very talented, almost everyone gets pigeonholed into teaching at some point in their careers.
Think of how many threads on COTH there are about clinicians who are accomplished riders who do have backing and sponsorship enough to be pros…and yet they’re relatively mediocre teachers. I don’t mean bad/abusive coaching, just clinicians who are “just or barely okay” versus those who might just be “fine” riders but who can really bring people along very quickly.
I’m not a natural teacher, either. I think real estate isn’t necessarily an easier gig, either, though, but if you can make it work, that would be a fantastic way to enable you to do what you truly love to do.
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Sports and arts (riding is both) are driven by talent and obsession. The career path is a very steep pyramid. A huge base of amateurs and students and weekend warriors. A much smaller level of struggling pros. And a very tiny slice that are wildly successful. Luck and market play into it. You could be a superlative jazz player today and barely make a living in your niche or be an average voiced pop singer who inexplicably makes it big with the right team. You could go pro in hockey if everything aligns but if your preferred sport is not monetized, even Olympic level shot put is not going to make much money.
Whereas the things that are pure careers, pretty much everyone who gets the training gets the same kind of job. Obviously the professions are tiered too and some folks through luck, talent, effort and/or family and money and connectiins, rise higher. But on the whole, train to be a lawyer or nurse or dentist or teacher or computer programmer and you will get a job in the average range of your field.
One problem with do what you love is you need to either develop an affection for a defined job that pays (most lawyers like law) or put a twist on your talent obsession that can suck all the joy out of it. If you aren’t a good teacher and don’t love kids, teaching beginner anything can be soul sucking, and worse if you love the topic.
It’s a dilemma.
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I’m a huge fan of the 1995 Pride & Prejudice (starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle) and it was sobering to learn that Crispin Bonham-Carter (who plays Mr. Bingley in that wildly successful production) is now an English teacher. Despite being a very good actor and getting great exposure, as he aged out of good-looking leading man parts, he just never found his niche as a middle-aged actor. It’s testimony how even if you get a big break, that’s no guarantee you can build a career upon it.
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I do agree with that, but I’m not PASSIONATE about houses. I feel like I would do well helping people find a home they like (and I love houses). Tire kicker horse clients? Nope! I wouldn’t even assist with purchase and sales with horses. I always focused on the relationship and embraced the passion in every situation with horses.
This makes me think of the phrase “dream job.” Okay, WTF is that? Nobody’s dream is to have a job. Lots of good articles on why it’s better to not hunt for the elusive dream job.
I have a job I like well enough. It pays me well enough. The people are nice. My hours are wonderful. It gives me lots of flexibility to ride. That’s about as “dreamy” as I need!
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A good realtor doesn’t have to be passionate about houses, they have to be passionate about helping people achieve what may be a dream of a lifetime. I suspect there would be more genuine moments of joy if you approach it with that attitude. Higher percent success average than with horses, I’m sure
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Exactly what I feel like.
I WISH that people would quit posting things like this in public to audiences they don’t know personally.
The “possibilities” of which you write are STILL available to only a very few, as they always have been.
A person can have all the heart in the world to do any work and not have the finances to do it.
PLEASE take a moment to realize this, and be less hurtful and ignorant about your audience.
Get real.
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What a great, inspiring story to read. Thank you for posting it here. I love that version of P&P, and I loved Bingley. I am very glad he has found a second career that is good for him and his students. 
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Thank you for posting this.
The man’s story you posted is very much like mine and that of the husband of one of my oldest friends.
He and his wife are barely making ends meet, which has been the story of their entire 30±year marriage.
I worked at various “real,” humdrum jobs until I retired, barely making ends meet the whole time.
Like the man in your post, I too am a musician.
I haven’t taken my guitar out of its case in nearly a year. I just don’t have the heart to. I watched a video of George Harrison and Bob Dylan last night and thought that would get me playing again today.
It hasn’t.
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That’s pretty silly. A largely anonymous board is 1) full of people I don’t know personally. 2) Virtually NOTHING is “still” available to only a few in the age of the internet. There are people with diddle squat making waves up and down the interwebz doing a million things I never thought of. That doesn’t meant they aren’t available to me. It just means that people are thinking outside of the box all over the place.
“Hurtful and ignorant about my audience?” So…. I am suppose to comprehend, address and incorporate the individual thoughts and experiences of (potentially) a very large number of people I have never met, into everything I say? Um…. Nope.
But I give you 10 points for attempting to breach a line Hyper-Woke Authoritarianism in such tremendously vague terms. That’s, um…. Interesting. In a Dystopian Sci-Fi boloney sort of a way.
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Internet does not enable hands on ownership or saddle time of any kind or provide direct financing for all dreams to cone true in the horse industry. Most cant afford it and lack the direct access to horses to learn without paying for it. Those days are gone, those barns closed and those people long retired or passed.
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Exactly.
Oh my…. Such a very limited mindset. No wonder the despondency.
