Extreme Burnout as a Professional - Support Needed

[SimplyLoveHorses]

I’ve been involved with horses since the age of 5. I’m 32. I just lost my heart horse last September. I’ve had a business in teaching and training for 12 years now and I’m officially burned out. Ready to walk away from the professional realm for good and enjoy horses instead of trying to make a living off of the sport.

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love being around horses. But I just can’t do the career anymore. It’s a terrifying feeling to realize my identity as a horsewoman (after considerable thought) doesn’t include bringing others along in their own journeys, but I’ve just lost the drive to do so. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you cope?

[soloudinhere]

Completely get it. Heck, I’m often tired of being a client. It’s a hard life and really a pursuit of passion because it’s often physically and mentally challenging.

One step at a time. You’ve been doing this since you were 20, apparently. You’re only 32 now. There’s an entire lifetime left with horses still to be lived.

[anon68314200]

I suggest you check in on the FB riding instructor pages. This topic is discussed a lot. In short, this is

1. partially just what happens to a lot of people when their 20’s are behind them.
2. Partially a need to reevaluate your values and goals as the intractable nature of business, small business, and horse business begin to to crystallize in your view of the world
3. Partially the stress the horse industry (and the rest of the world) is under as SM, computers, virtual reality, and everything that is not IRL/in-horse-world continues to bear down on the industry and it’s sports, policies, etc.

The business can really suck. But love of the animals is real. The opportunities for education, and the possibilities to improve yourself to levels that were previously available to very few, are now available to almost anyone with the heart to do the work. So think hard about what you really want to get out of your work with horses. If your love of horses is at the heart of it, the opportunities for improvement are limitless. You just gotta sort out the small matter of how to get a roof, a car and food……

[SimplyLoveHorses]

It’s just become more of a personal journey to me. It’s very difficult finding clients with the same level of passion and drive. But you are right. I have looked into some of what you mentioned but not as in depth as I could. I appreciate your feedback.

[SimplyLoveHorses]

Absolutely, and for now it just feels more like I need to work on myself and my path instead of exhausting so much energy bringing others along. I enjoy the training aspect, but the teaching/drama/dynamics of a lot of barns just don’t quite fit where I am in life right now. I don’t own my own facility so I’m freelancing at multiple barns or client’s private properties.

[Willesdon]

If you don’t have ties and responsibilities beyond your clients, perhaps look to getting a job as a professional rider, maybe in Europe. Every big competition stable on the European circuits has people at home doing the daily riding. Or sign up as a groom - who often are riding too. Or try a different discipline. Running your own business is not a life suitable for every person. From my great age, you are a Spring Chicken with the world before you!

[clanter]

Not unique to Horse World, by age 32 I had already been through various professions (military, air traffic control, bank officer, import/export of fine veneers) then started personal businesses

There many roads to take, OP is just at an intersection.

[Tarlo_Farm]

I used to do a little training and a bunch of up/down lessons for local riders.

When I quit, that first week that unfolded before me with NO responsibility to anyone else, was HEAVEN! Every horse-minute was mine, not needing to be shared with someone else.

Is it possible to step away for a couple weeks to give it a try? Think of it as a vacation, or something you’d have to do if a family member got seriously sick.

[amymoyer1]

Keep in mind that coming out of winter is always a tough time. Horses acting up with the warm weather, mud in every spot possible, unmotivated riders who aren’t ready or able to handle their unruly mounts… It’s not just you. These past few years have been especially hard.

As hard as it is, please take some time to take care of yourself! Find someone you can talk to - friend, family, or professional. It’s not only normal to feel burned out occasionally, it is perfectly acceptable! Allow yourself to feel your emotions. If you can, find a way to deal with your frustrations in a non-horse way. Yoga, running, baking, whatever (healthy habits).

I went through a crisis a few years ago, and my biggest issue really was acknowledging my feelings and knowing how to express them in a healthy way. No one talks about mental health on a regular basis. You deserve to take care of yourself! If that means a week, a month, or a full step back, that is is up to you. Give yourself some time to really take a good look at what you want and don’t feel pressured to make a decision you’re not ready to. Whatever is best for you will only benefit the horses. If you can’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of anyone (horses included) else.

[wsmoak]

@SimplyLoveHorses

It’s just become more of a personal journey to me. It’s very difficult finding clients with the same level of passion and drive.

Amy Skinner has written on this and related topics. You may find something useful in her FB posts and books. https://www.facebook.com/AmySkinnerHorsemanship/

[McGurk]

I burnt out in my late 30s.

I loved teaching and training, but the constant client management/customer aspects wore me down, as did the sheer number of hours and the stress of trying to prioritize my own riding and showing and keep clients happy.

I kept trying to expand my business to where I could afford full time help and therefore, actual time off, but that was really a challenge. Since my business was essentially selling my time in one hour increments, it was hard to figure out a way to expand the business to afford that full time assistant.

Looking back at that time in life, it was both the happiest and most stressful time. Things I would have done differently, with the knowledge I have now?

I had imposter syndrome and I undercharged for my services. I was afraid no one would work with me if I charged the same as the BNTs. I kept difficult clients who weren’t a good fit for my business way too long because I felt I couldn’t afford to fire clients. I would have focused on my core business and kept it to me and a part time employee, rather than focusing on the magical growth that would allow another full timer.

So my advice to you is think carefully about what you truly enjoy with the horses. Maybe it’s teaching, maybe it’s training. Maybe you no longer want to do up-downers, but focus on kids with their own horses showing locally and regionally. If it’s training, do you want to flip horses? Restart OTTBs? Start babies? Put changes on and finish hunters? Find the intersection between what you like to do, what you are good at and what pays and focus on that intersection.

Also, find someone whose been in the business a decade or two longer than you, someone that you admire and pick their brains about what did and didn’t work for them.

Best of luck to you in your journey and hoping you find the joy in horses again.

[NancyM]

Sometimes it’s just time to turn the page and start a new chapter. Good luck! BTDT.

[findeight]

You are an age when many in all professions realize the career they worked towards over a decade or more just…well…sucks for them. Least you don’t have 50k+ of student loans getting to where you are now. Its pretty normal to find yourself there in your early 30s. Its definitely a time to step back and reevaluate.

Those I know who have lasted in the horse business realized what was burning them out was being treated like an indentured servant with low pay, no real days off, no set hours and no vacations. That on top of dealing with disrespectful brats, entitled teens and instant expert parents you have no right to question or stop trying to work with them. The horses are the easy part.

Anyway, thing they have in common is they stepped back and took a break. Did something else for a bit, maybe took some online classes in business or marketing. When they came back to teaching/training they respected themselves and did not take anything without a semblance of regular hours, time off and some benefits. And they did not take on starting a business running a barn plus a training business, they leased stalls. And they are well into their 40s now and enjoying it. To be fair, all have partners and another income source…and time to nourish those relationships.

What other profession has people in their early 30s treated like 17 year olds begging for rides willing to do anything to stay? And you wonder why so many burn out?

[SimplyLoveHorses]

I definitely hear that. I’m in the process of getting my real estate license at the moment. Totally different than horses!!

[SimplyLoveHorses]

I think I’m going to take a year long break to reevaluate.

[Scribbler]

When you are teaching anything it’s rare to get students that have your passion and drive and obviously by definition none of them have your skills. I have a good PhD in my subject but I teach mostly first year required courses and accept that for most of my students this will not be a passion.

As a riding student I’m actually a good client and I am obsessed with horses but I’m in late middle age and don’t have the physical stamina or indeed the need to really push myself in my hobby.

Teaching anything you need to accept that for most folks your subject area is not their primary focus. If you are teaching at the very top of your field you might have brilliant grad students or super ambitious juniors or other pros but for most of us we aren’t teaching the rising stars in our field and we need to accept that if we want to continue without frustration.

It’s also true that once you start teaching anything your students needs are more important than your own. It’s hard for many professors to find time for their own research and its hard for many riding instructors to have time to pursue their own high level competition if they are spending every Saturday teaching beginners or going to crossrail schooling shows to pay the bills.

Perhaps you need to figure out how to attach yourself to a high level barn where you can get the next step forward in competition.

Edited to add. Yes get a real estate license make some money and then re enter horse world as a well off ammie or part time pro that can fund your own development and good horses!

[4horses]

I can fully admit to being in the same boat. I am focusing on my own horses and getting out of the business. Plan to start job hunting soon. I will probably hate having an indoor job. But I don’t handle Florida summers well. I get heat exhaustion and there are easier ways to make a living.

People are difficult. They come late, they have excuses. They say one thing but mean another. Your time is expendable to them.

I love the horses and i love some of my clients. But I need to focus on my future. Which means having a more reliable job and a steady income.

[findeight]

Real estate is a great choice if you pick a good broker and really lean into whats required. Its flexible, just be prepared to really devote your efforts to it and that will get you off to a good start. You’ll enjoy a more social atmosphere and no muck boots in your car.

[oldernewbie]

It happens, even in non-horse related fields. I worked as a corporate training consultant for over 10 years. Had great clients, made a fair amount of money, was really glad to have flexibility while my kids were growing up. Then, all my contacts retired, the company I worked most for was bought and then sold, and I just wasn’t interested any more. Went through about a 2-year soul searching period trying other options like getting certified to teach. None of that worked out, but I did get another great opportunity that carried me along for another 8 years.

Morale of the story: we change! Think of it as an opportunity to grow as a person. Better to be honest with yourself and move on than to try to force yourself to continue and hate every minute. That’s the kind of life that makes people alcoholics or worse.

Good luck!

[Bluey]

Hitting a snag? Reinvent yourself!