[QUOTE=FineAlready;8061117]
I feel like most farriers (the farriers I have met, anyway), would react just like yours did…and then just never shoe the horse again if you ever asked him to.[/QUOTE]
I just said I am a nervous person and I was already anxious about this, did you need to make it worse? Couldn’t you just let me be relieved and hopeful that I didn’t screw up? I’m not trying to be rude, but I wasn’t looking for this kind of advice, especially when I’ve already spoken with him.
Well, there’s no use being anxious, OP. You’ve already crossed the bridge- whether it’s smoldering behind you or fully intact, we can’t know. I think it’s fair for other posters to give you a heads up that more often than not the bridge is smoldering.
You have seemed 100% dead set on the decision to switch from the start of this post, so I don’t know what sort of permission you were looking for. Horse owners switch farriers. It happens. Good farriers are in high demand everywhere, so don’t be surprised if old farrier can’t come if you need him again.
[QUOTE=CaitlinandTheBay;8061204]
You have seemed 100% dead set on the decision to switch from the start of this post, so I don’t know what sort of permission you were looking for. Horse owners switch farriers. It happens. Good farriers are in high demand everywhere, so don’t be surprised if old farrier can’t come if you need him again.[/QUOTE]
As I said earlier, I wasn’t really looking for “should I switch” advice, I was looking for “how do I mitigate nerves while talking to him about this” advice. Because I have an anxiety disorder and am on the autism spectrum and I suck at talking to people. I understand that he may not want to come out anymore, but I don’t need that shoved in my face. Feeling like I probably shouldn’t have brought this concern here.
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8060689]
He does. The gelding needs glue because he used to rip his shoes off at the slightest provocation, and also does not have very strong hoof wall. I honestly don’t think the mare needs the glue, but that’s what we’ve been doing.[/QUOTE]
Perhaps you will find that with a change in farriers shoes will stay on .
Yes , I understand your reluctance to rock the boat, but perhaps it could stand a little rocking.
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8061174]
I just said I am a nervous person and I was already anxious about this, did you need to make it worse? Couldn’t you just let me be relieved and hopeful that I didn’t screw up? I’m not trying to be rude, but I wasn’t looking for this kind of advice, especially when I’ve already spoken with him.[/QUOTE]
Uhhh…okay. That’s kind of an extreme reaction. I’m a nervous person too, but if I post on an internet forum, I kind of expect that I’m going to get whatever responses I get. I was really just cautioning you that if things don’t work out with the new farrier, I don’t think it is necessarily going to be a safe assumption that the old farrier will take you back. So, you may need plan in advance to find a different farrier. That’s the kind of thing that I, personally, like to plan for rather than having it surprise me…so I always kind of have a running list of back up professionals (farriers, vets, etc.) in mind for these kinds of situations.
Apparently, you would rather stick your head in the sand and risk finding yourself in a bind down the road than have someone give you a heads up about something you may want to consider.
I am going to think long and hard about ever giving any input to you in the future.
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8061234]
As I said earlier, I wasn’t really looking for “should I switch” advice, I was looking for “how do I mitigate nerves while talking to him about this” advice. Because I have an anxiety disorder and am on the autism spectrum and I suck at talking to people. I understand that he may not want to come out anymore, but I don’t need that shoved in my face. Feeling like I probably shouldn’t have brought this concern here.[/QUOTE]
How could we possibly advise you about how to deal with your anxiety disorder? I’m not trying to be cruel, but most people on a horse forum are not going to immediately assume that you are looking for advice on how to calm your nerves when you post a question about switching farriers.
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8059653]
I have a dilemma.
I’ve been using my current farrier since I got my first horse about a year ago. He’s very good, does a great job with both my mare and my friend’s gelding, and I like him a lot. We’ve been paying $125 for front shoes glued and nailed.
My mare is going into more consistent work and it has been recommended that she have hind shoes on because she is mildly footsore. I just found out that my farrier charges $200 for shoes all around.
I spoke with my trainer, who uses a different farrier, just to see if his prices were comparable and if this is a standard cost. Her farrier charges $140 for shoes all around. He is very skilled (manages trainer’s mare’s club foot to the point that I didn’t even notice she had one until it was pointed out). Good with the horses, graduated from Cornell, and has been pleasant to talk to every time I’ve met him.
I think I want to switch, because $60 every 7 weeks is a pretty huge difference and the skill levels appear similar. But I am really bad at conflict and I don’t want to piss off the farrier I have.[/QUOTE]
And I will point out that your original post was not at all clear on what kind of input you were looking for. You didn’t say in the post that you were definitely going to switch and wanted advice on talking to your old farrier. You said you “think” you want to switch, but never really asked any question at all. I’m not sure how anyone could have gathered from this post that you wanted input on managing your anxiety relative to the farrier situation.
Geez finealready, take a chillpill. You have crossed the line from giving input and have moved onto harassing this poster.
Did you have a bad day or was there another reason you felt the need to quote not one but three of her posts telling her how wrong she was, even after she conveyed that she was anxious? This is the internet and you are not required to give input at any time, and in this case your “input” was needlessly nasty.
You could have just as easily walked away. There is no reason for this level of drama.
I quoted so that it was clear which posts I was responding to. Quoting posts isn’t an aggressive action; it is an attempt at clarity. And, no, I did not have a bad day, nor do I think I’m being nasty to this poster. She kind of freaked out for no reason when I was offering genuine input/advice. I’m simply stating that I don’t think I’ll be offering my input in the future to this poster, since it obviously isn’t well received and she isn’t exactly clear about what kind of input she is looking for.
I was honestly stunned that she responded as she did to my initial posts, which were certainly not malicious.
Quoting multiple times and flooding the thread with posts made you look fairly aggressive and rude. Agree or disagree with her response, you don’t have to be happy, you don’t have to give input, and OP doesn’t have to take it. It would however serve you well to be polite. You could have not given input in the future while at the same thing saying nothing at all.
I was not impolite. For someone who claims to not understand “tone,” you sure seem to be reading into what I’ve written here.
[QUOTE=FineAlready;8061993]
I was not impolite. For someone who claims to not understand “tone,” you sure seem to be reading into what I’ve written here.[/QUOTE]
You’re right, I don’t understand subtle tone. However this isn’t subtle.
Subtle would be sarcastically implying that what someone said was rude, or perhaps a tongue-in-cheek comment.
Quoting the same person three times to tell them how wrong they are is like getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer–rather hard to miss and not subtle at all. You’d have to have picked through their comments three separate times. Even I don’t miss stuff like that…which should tell you something.
[QUOTE=dungrulla;8062060]
You’re right, I don’t understand subtle tone. However this isn’t subtle.
Subtle would be sarcastically implying that what someone said was rude, or perhaps a tongue-in-cheek comment.
Quoting the same person three times to tell them how wrong they are is like getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer–rather hard to miss and not subtle at all. You’d have to have picked through their comments three separate times. Even I don’t miss stuff like that…which should tell you something.[/QUOTE]
An alternate explanation is that FA simply responded before reading the entire thread, then finished reading and had more to say. Note, her first quoted passage came before her second quoted passage and the third simply re-enforced the point she was trying to make. Did it come off aggressive? Obviously it did to some. However, I’ve made the same mistake myself (responding before reading everything) and I think we can spare a little grace for her.
OP, I’m rather spectrum-y myself, so I get it. I hate talking on the phone setting up appointments, etc. I am the queen of avoiding phone calls/confrontation/human interaction. Farrier (and vet) appointments have been a big challenge for me in my time as a horse owner. The best advice I can give you is:
A) pay someone else to do it (in my case the BO handles all farrier and routine vet). It may cost more depending on what’s included with board/training, but it does ensure that it always gets done. In your case, can you get on the same schedule as some of your trainer’s horses? Then just leave a check for the farrier in your trunk, pay your trainer $X to hold if you can’t be there, and never worry about another farrier phone call again.
B) Recognize that as much as you don’t like what you’re doing, it is necessary for your horse’s health and happiness. He can’t call the farrier himself. I consider doing these little, hard things practice for when I have to do the bigger, hard things (sell, euth, etc.).
[QUOTE=CaitlinandTheBay;8062089]
He can’t call the farrier himself. [/QUOTE]
I’m not OP but you have given me a GREAT idea for a new trick… :lol:
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8060689]
He does. The gelding needs glue because he used to rip his shoes off at the slightest provocation, and also does not have very strong hoof wall. I honestly don’t think the mare needs the glue, but that’s what we’ve been doing.[/QUOTE]
Why?
And why do you have to be there to hold your horse? IME the farrier gets the horse out of the pasture/stall, puts it in the cross-ties, does his job, puts the horse back where he got it.
I recommend being honest with your current farrier about your reasons for changing. Don’t lie about your trainer. Your farrier probably knows your trainer’s farrier so you could be found out. If you’re happy with your guy in every way but his fee, tell him and ask him if he can work with you on the price of the work.
Before op & dung flame at me for this: I have 2 types of anxiety disorders so please take this as it is.
I GET the anxiety you have OP, truely do, but you were unclear in your questions at first and just expected to be soothed and held your hand. Posters gave you a reality perspective that you knew but didnt want to consider.
Your expecting to be treated like glass on a internet forum and people should know what your saying between the lines…
And if you were clear and didnt throw a mini tantrum at advice you didn’t wish to put in the thinking senarios, then try and use your “anxiety disorder ect” as a excuse for your behaviour… It’s not coth’s members jobs to know who has what issue and over a keyboard its not always blatently obvious to them. But you expecting that of them is unfair.
Dungrella, you being agressive in defending the op is just adding a distraction and really not allowing the kinks to be ironed out. Feul to the fire, but congrats your now a houseguest!
That would be very convenient! The only time I’ve had this experience, is at a large barn with staff on site, and the horse gets left in for the farrier to take him out of his stall. Other than that, I always hold my horses for the farrier.
[QUOTE=dungrulla;8061989]
Quoting multiple times and flooding the thread with posts made you look fairly aggressive and rude. Agree or disagree with her response, you don’t have to be happy, you don’t have to give input, and OP doesn’t have to take it. It would however serve you well to be polite. You could have not given input in the future while at the same thing saying nothing at all.[/QUOTE]
I am confused how this post is not just what you are complaining someone else is doing.
OP don’t sweat it. For some reason people seem to think that farriers are some breakable fine china. They are human. If you talk to them honestly and respectfully (as you did) they are no more prone than the plumber to shun you. You handled it well and if you want to go back I would just eat a little crow and tell him/her that you really liked the way they did your horses feet better and see if they could schedule an appointment. Don’t make a problem where there isn’t one.
[QUOTE=My Two Cents;8062266]
For some reason people seem to think that farriers are some breakable fine china.[/QUOTE]
This is because a lot of them act like it. Horse professionals in general tend to act like breakable fine china, which confuses me…you are providing a service, it should be no skin of anyone’s teeth if I want to try someone else and yet people get all uppity about it. My favorite restaurant doesn’t get mad if I want to go somewhere else and my plumber doesn’t get pissed if I call someone else during an emergency. I see why she’s concerned (although I prefer not to deal with these types myself).
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