Yes I guess this has been done before, but I feel like a laugh…
A friend doing her first ever Walk Trot test for a 20m circle
“Not 20m or a circle!”
I was devastated when I first read the marks for my “show lengthened stride in trot MXK” sure looked like HORRID to me…in our defense it was inside, blowing a gale, and there was a door swinging off its runners just by M…further reading and I saw it said ‘hurried,’ definitely a fair summing up…she was motoring toward safety!
I had a comment on my test once that was “I wanted to stand up and cheer”. Sure it was just a stretchy trot circle in an eventing test, but I have that test framed, it made me so proud of my little OTTB.
“elegant rider - hunt seat position” aka I need to sit more on my seat!
Some of the best comments are the ones that can’t be repeated…often what the judge says to the scribe before the words “don’t write that”
“When horse is tense you must let go of the reins and use your legs. Yeah I know it’s tough, been there”
Lilo Fore gave me one of the funniest, way back when. I was at a championships and did and ext. canter across the diagonal, and was supposed to come back, change, and go around the corner. We bolted, barely stayed in the ring, flew around the corner, and I did not fall off.
I got a 4 and a “very expressive!”
Another favorite when you mess up the tempi changes and the judge can’t tell which ones you are doing is, “medley of changes.”
Or, of course, things like levade or tempi changes not required at first level!
he first one that springs to mind is the comment for my second horse’s centreline and halt at the end of his last ever test. “Nice finish.”
If she only knew… I had decided at the show, that day, before the test that he would never enter the competition arena again. 
At the last minute I agreed to ride someone else’s horse in a tiny schooling show because the owner couldn’t ride, but wanted the horse to get the practice. Her saddle did not fit me in any kind of way, but we put in a reasonable effort for a greenish OTTB with typical remarks, except I got the comment that I needed to work on my position - it looked like I was “water skiing” - I guess that is even worse than a chair-seat.
With my super green baby the recent schooling show judge was remarkably understanding of his “baby moments” but I was most proud of the compliments to my riding - “calm and effective”
I got teary on Friday at the comment “harmonious pair.” Show inside in the most stressful situation possible for my mare - her herdmates she lives out with in stalls visible from the arena, whinnying when they see her, at night so there was essentially a black hole on the other side of the arena where there weren’t stalls. She has a history of slamming on the brakes at shows, because halting is her “misbehavior” when stressed. Since my other horse takes off bucking too hard for a rodeo, I prefer that reaction, but it doesn’t look good at a show… we have historically had tension and just not been pleasant to watch as I have tried to learn to give her the ride she needs for confidence. Our first test I overdrove to make sure she didn’t slam on the brakes and shut down, and the judge marked me down appropriately for it, noting I was the one doing it. She just didn’t know there was a reason. Second test, we had ironed out any stickiness, so I kept her at a steadier and better balanced tempo, and she was WONDERFUL. It was great to see a judge agree with that, too.
When The Exploding Pony executed a perfect halt and then while I was saluting he stood straight up (you can picture it, my right hand is out sideways, my head is down, he stands up like I am the lone ranger and he is doing his Hi Ho Silver imitation):
7 with a giant X through it and a 4 with “Naughty, very, very naughty!!!” written next to it. I don’t recall if there were 4 or 5 exclamation points, but you get the gist 
For a line of well executed ones – no extra credit for extra 1s
We DID do a couple extra
From several years ago on a green horse: “Horse is lovely. However, rider needs to understand the parameters of the test”…Needless to say I didn’t have the best ride ha ha.
A couple weeks ago at a schooling show at my barn we did a combined test (intro, the test was usdf intro C so nothing complicated). She is 5 and it was our second combined test (as well as second dressage test). She came off the track last April, but between injury (hers) and pregnancy (mine) we just recently really got going this March. Anyway, my mare lives on the property and we ride in that indoor arena nearly every day…but of course the day of the show it looked completely different and she went around like a strung out camel and I rode like a pogo stick. I halted at G and before I could even salute she asks “Is she young? Is she off the track?”. Hahaha I wasn’t too excited to see my test after that. BUT she did give us some wonderful feedback and said my mare had lovely gaits and loads of potential (probably the nicest thing I’ve heard on a dressage test LOL).
Airs Above the Ground not required at this level. Then at the bottom - very tactfully ridden, good job staying on. This was a young horse at his first show - windy day, and the judge’s cover was a tent and it was - helping our impulsion? It made me laugh!
Two weekends ago I got “Drama at C” from one of our local judges. It certainly made me and all of my friends giggle especially since it was a pretty understated way of explaining what happened 
LOL, lots of LOL
Very first test with the Red Head head, judges comments at the end
“Very intense”
That about summed it up, madam was not happy.
Comment for the draft cross doing novice eventing as a young horse “very light on his feet for such a large boy”
This comment wasn’t a judge, but a fellow competitor. Evidently I’m riding draft around doing some tempis prior to test and in my wake her horse was spooking and freaking out. My friend waves me over to let me know she over heard the other rider say “pookie is afraid of the thunder” LOL guess we are not that light on our feet
After that did try to stay a distance away and look around to make sure not disturbing others with our “thunder” hahaha!!
After a terrible test that I have mentioned a few times on COTH… in which an extended canter became a free-for-all , leaping, crashing, demolition of the rails and geraniums and the judge’s stand being bombarded by shards of flower pots, dirt clumps and chunks of mutilated plants…
And a couple of big gallop circles to slow down in the ring space behind the judges stand…
At the very bottom… below the E for Excellent… snerk
… the judge commented “Great smile under duress and no accidental bad language.”
I believe it was actually a grimace…but I’ll take it!
At a local schooling show on my very green young mare, we were doing our 20m circle at the A end and someone had stored a spare jump standard outside the ring and she would have to go past it to complete the circle. When she caught site of that standard, she slammed on the brakes and it took me several tries to get her moving again. Judge’s comment was “ceased forward motion” My friends and I got a good laugh at that one.
Pony stopped because nature called… Judge commented “Stopped to download” I still call it downloading… Lol.
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